Lonely Doctor
by indytiff
Summary: Bella and Edward have a history - one Bella wishes to forget. Edward re-enters her life but isn't the same Edward. Will she be able to keep their relationship professional? All human. Cannon couples. Language and possible fun later. BPOV/EPOV only
1. Chapter 1

_**Welcome to my world! This is my 4th story - hope you enjoy!**_

**_Disclaimer: SM owns _Twilight _and all the characters assocaited with it. I, sadly enough, only own the craziness within my mind that puts them in these situations._**

_

* * *

_

_Chapter 1_

**BPOV**

After delivering the third baby of the day, I wanted nothing more than to go home to my quiet little neighborhood nestled into a hillside outside of Montecito and relax with a good book – albeit probably some sort of medical field related writing, but reading nonetheless. However, I needed to check on my newest patient and then return to the medical office for the final two appointments of the day.

I am not required to check on the newborns, as they were now in the care of the nursery staff, but I am just never able to stay away. And that's how I found myself standing in the nursery holding the newest bundle of joy in my arms.

The little girl wriggled closer into my chest and gripped my white jacket with her little hands. I looked at the girl and smiled. I really do love my job, but long for the family life. Being in the field of medical care that I am, I know all too well the chances of getting pregnant after the age of thirty-five, and that deadline was approaching within seven months. I want a child of my own so bad that I've started considering the possibility of insemination. Although I'm nowhere near being decided on it.

Trying to stay optimistic that I would find the right guy was getting harder with each passing day. I've all but given up on dating based on how much of a disaster my last one turned out to be. Mental note to self – never date a local restaurant owner. Most of my dates in the past few years have been pretty much worthless. A couple times they at least made it to the second date and managed to get into my bed. The last time that happened was almost six months ago. Like I said, I'm over men.

I sighed as my gaze drifted back down to the small, alert face of the newborn I was holding. How utterly innocent this little girl looked with her small rose-bud mouth. How warm and responsive and…_flirtatious?_

While I know the infant's unfocused eyes can't see into the hallway beyond the observation window, I still glanced curiously to where she was staring. On the far side of the glass, framed by red hearts the North Montecito Medical Center staff had posted for Valentine's Day, I caught sight of a pair of broad shoulders and a head of perfectly messy bronze hair.

I didn't immediately recognize the man, but my body flushed with heat instinctively and out of my past a name entered into my clouded mind.

Oh who am I kidding, no woman ever forgot Edward Cullen. And lord knows I've tried.

He was turned halfway towards me and I just couldn't stop myself from admiring his profile. He hadn't changed one bit in the ten years since we were both med students at UCLA sharing a study group.

Hell, last I heard he was practicing in Los Angeles, just a little over an hour away from Montecito but a totally different life. The perfect city for the perpetual bachelor.

So what was he doing _here_?

He shifted his position slightly and revealed a brunette nurse he was conversing with. Judging by the far away glazed expression of her eyes, Edward's spell on women hadn't diminished any in ten years time.

Against my shoulder the infant uttered a contented sigh. Oh, surely the little one's happiness _couldn't_ be because of Dr. Cullen, even if back in college our classmates teased him about being the ultimate babe magnet.

Annoyed with my reaction to seeing Edward, I placed the baby back in her bed and without a last glance towards the visiting doctor left out the back door of the nursery.

Once in the halls of the hospital there was no sign of Edward. Perhaps he came over to pay a visit to his cousin, Seth? I'll have to ask him when I get back to the office.

The clock on the wall in the employee break-room indicated it was just after three in the afternoon. _Perfect timing_. If I leave out of here now I will get back in plenty of time for my 4:00 and 4:30 appointments. I had to reschedule quite a few appointments today in order to deliver the babies and I really dislike doing that but someone has to deliver the little ones. Seth was supposed to be in the office all day covering any emergencies but apparently he had left for the hospital at some point. It was the only logical explanation for Edward.

Once I arrived back at the office my receptionist, Jessica Stanley, who was working her way through undergrad nursing, greeted me. She was a perky little thing. Would make a good nurse some day, if she could pull her head down out of the clouds long enough.

"Dr. Swan, it's been a rather peaceful day. You only have two messages from patients with questions or concerns." Jessica said handing me the messages.

"Thank you Jess. Please let Angela know that I'm back and I will be in my office returning the calls."

Once in my office I happily answered the messages and had just wrapped them up when a light knock sounded on the door. Angela Cheney, my assisting nurse, poked her head in smiling like she always did. Pregnancy sure did suit her well. Angela and her husband Ben had been trying for years to get pregnant and were finally successful. Of course I was more than happen to take the couple on as clients.

"Good afternoon Ang." I welcomed her into the office with a wave of my hand.

"Hey Bella. How were the deliveries today?"

"Perfect. Is my 4:00 here?"

"Yes she is waiting for you. Also, your 4:30 just called and cancelled so you're free to go as soon as you've wrapped up with Mrs. Cope."

"Great news." I smiled as I jumped out of my chair and grabbed the file out of Angela's hand.

As luck would have it, Mrs. Cope had questions and since my last appointment had cancelled I was more than happy to sit and answer them all in detail. After I walked Mrs. Cope out of the office and locked the door behind her, Jessica stopped me. The girl was nearly bouncing out of her seat.

"Oh my goodness…Have you seen…Oh, I wish they'd explain…Well, I guess they're waiting for you." Jess babbled almost incoherently.

"Um…excuse me?" I asked as I tried to sort through the rush of words that came flying out of Jessica's mouth.

"They're in Dr. Clearwater's office. Can I be completely honest with you Dr. Swan?" She asked obviously flustered. I nodded, clearly intrigued by my young receptionist's actions. "The hottest man I have ever laid eyes on is in there."

Well I now had my answer. Only one man could evoke this kind of reaction from a woman and it certainly wasn't Seth. Although he was a good looking young man. Just not _him_.

"I assume you're referring to Dr. Cullen."

Jess just nodded her head dumbly for a second.

"Do you know if…well he's not wearing a ring but…"

"I have no idea if he's married or not Jess." I had avoided asking Seth any personal questions about his cousin. It was part of my attempt to forget he existed.

Jess shrugged then went back to her desk as my mind began racing with the possible reasons for Edward's sudden visit. I know that his Aunt Elizabeth passed just the week before and I wonder if the visit today has anything to do with that.

Before I reached Seth's office I ducked into the bathroom to straighten my hair and freshen my makeup.

Up until today I really had thought I moved past my misplaced attraction and the one night I had let my stupid emotions lead instead of my head. But clearly after my response to seeing him in the hospital and the fact that my heart is rapidly beating now, just proved that I have in fact _not_ gotten past the elusive Edward Cullen.

As I raised my hand to knock on Seth's office door a shiver ran through my entire body from head to toe.

_Get over it, Swan. Jesus._

I rapped on the door and not a second later it swung open revealing my business partner's smiling face. Seth and Edward were complete opposites and it was always a mystery as to how exactly they were related. It had to be by marriage solely. Seth clearly had Native American blood in his background, with his dark skin and black hair and coal black eyes, whereas Edward was pale with that indescribable bronze colored hair and the most piercing green eyes you'd ever seen.

"Good to see you Bella!" Seth enthused as he ushered me into his office. "You remember my cousin Edward."

I finally looked directly at him, even though his masculine scent had demanded my attention the second the door swung open. The reaction my body had to the smell of him made me feel like a first year med student again, trying not to gawk at the man. All he was doing was sitting there for Christ's sake but somehow he managed to change the entire feel of the office. The smoothness of his youth seemed to have been replaced by a hint of roughness but yet his eyes reflected a hint of vulnerability.

It made him almost irresistible. _Almost._

I extended my hand towards Edward which he eagerly took within his.

"Of course I remember him." I said rapidly. "In fact, I saw you at the hospital, Edward. Sorry, I wasn't able to catch up with you there to say a quick hello."

"It truly is a wonderful facility." He said finally releasing my hand. "The new birthing center is very impressive."

"You sound like you are evaluating it. Surely you're not thinking of moving your practice out here." I said but realized how terse that sounded. He blinked slightly confused and it was confirmed that my words _were_ taken as slightly unfriendly. "Our little med center couldn't possibly measure up to what you're used to in Los Angeles." I quickly added to smooth over my blunder.

The two men exchanged meaningful looks. Now I know for sure something is up and it most assuredly involves me and not Aunt Elizabeth.

"Well, see…actually, Edward's doing me – doing us both – a huge favor." Seth blurted out while looking down at his feet. "Bells, I just found out that Aunt Liz left me quite a sum of money. Enough that I am able to finally pay off my horrid student loans and then you know how much I've wanted to join Doctors Without Borders and now I have the money to do it."

I admit I had a hard time absorbing everything he just told me and figuring out what exactly this turn of events meant. I know Seth has been planning on doing DWB but it was envisioned years down the road.

Apparently with Aunt Liz's large legacy he was able to finally take the time off he wanted and climb out from under the huge debt associated with a doctor's degree. Something I can positively identify with. If it wasn't for the money that my own grandmother had left me upon her death I would likely still be paying mine off as well and I would undoubtedly not be living in the home I live in.

Then I remembered Seth's beginning _'…doing us both a huge favor.' _He planned to work _here_, with me.

_Ah hell…_

Not that I can't handle working that closely with Edward, but it was a conundrum as to why, Edward – the man who loved research and challenges – would move to a small town to practice. Even if to help out a family member.

I realized then that both men were staring at me awaiting a reaction of some sort. Right now I just look like a fool standing here.

"Well congratulations Seth! This is great news." I spoke only looking at Seth. "When do you think you'll go?"

"Looks like I'll be leaving the first of March."

Two weeks. "You must have gotten lucky with finding a position available this short of notice."

"Truly I did. It's meant to be and the fact that Edward offered to fill in here for me. Everything has just worked out perfectly for everyone."

_That verdict is still out…_

"It sure has." I smiled although it felt more like a grimace to me. I'll admit that once I got past that it was Edward, finding a replacement that was Seth's equal was a stroke of luck. I turned to Edward before speaking again. "But how can _you_ relocate on such short notice? And more importantly, why would you want to?"

"That's my Bells." Edward said tenderly. "Blunt as ever. Always just speaking whatever comes to mind."

_His _Bells? I never knew he thought of me that way.

_You're reading way too much into this Swan._

"That wasn't an answer." I calmly replied. "What's going on here?"

"I've been looking to move up here for personal reasons." Was all he offered.

Personal reasons, huh? Nothing like being overly vague with someone. He did have the right to privacy though and since I definitely want to keep this relationship strictly professional I opted not to push any further.

"So you start in two weeks then?"

"That's the plan. If it's okay with you of course."

"No problem."

Yeah no problem at all except I've been uneasy around him since that night ten years ago and even now my body insisted on vibrating with the nearness of him.

"Who will notify your patients? Transitions can be hard on some people. Will Charlotte do it?" I asked Seth trying to move my mind on to other topics.

Charlotte White is Seth's nurse; an extremely kind older woman who loved her job. Apparently she would be staying on as Edward's nurse, which I am internally grateful for. Charlotte's bedside manner is impeccable and something I think should balance out Edward's persona well.

And although I've never socialized outside of work with Seth, I would miss having him around. We'd shared a common goal with the practice and had grown it from scratch into one of the most successful OB-GYN practices in Montecito. Yes, I would definitely miss him.

Seth merely nodded that 'yes' Charlotte would handle everything, leaving the tiny office quit.

Then realizing I hadn't exactly welcomed Edward, I turned to him. "I'm sure we'll make a fine team."

"I can always count on you." He said then turned to Seth. "In med school when the rest of us were pulling our hair out and going crazy, Bella would reign us in and get us to focus. She was a god send."

Obviously not enough to be more than a one night to him, I thought to myself and almost snorted at the thought. I remember that night like it was yesterday. It was third year med school and we had been studying for an exam together. One thing led to another and even though I knew of his reputation I was powerless to stop it, I didn't want to stop it. When it was done Edward made it clear that he enjoyed himself and that he wouldn't mind a rematch.

A rematch?! The cocky arrogant son-of-a-bitch asked me for a _rematch_. Was it just some sort of sport to him? Fucking random chicks for fun? Of course I was a fool to think he actually had feelings for me. I knew better! Edward Cullen didn't have long term feelings with any woman. Let alone the poor girl from Forks, Washington.

"She's full of all kinds of off the wall knowledge. She worked her way through college doing odds and ends, including a nanny." Seth said.

"Before med school, that is." I added quickly. I had never mentioned my jobs to the rest of study group afraid they would look down upon me for my lack of family funds. Charlie, my father, was the chief of police in the small town where she grew up in Washington while my mother, Renee, was a stay at home mom.

"She's also full of knowledge about Montecito. If you need to know anything at all about our quaint town, just ask Bells here." Seth continued.

"As a matter of fact…" Edward started in fixating his smoldering gaze on me. "I'm in need of a house. Would you happen to know of…?"

"One of my good friends is a realtor. She and her husband have their own rental properties as well as they sell. Here let me give you her information." I said as I reached over Edward to grab a pen and paper. It was hard not to hear his sharp intake of breath when I leaned over him, but I managed to outwardly ignore it. "Her name is Alice Whitlock. Her husband's name is Jasper. The company is Whitlock Realty. Give her a call."

"Thank you." Edward said obviously trying to control his facial expression as he met my eyes.

"No problem." I said dismissively as I walked out of the office.

After dictating my notes for the day I headed to my modest home in the Palm Circle neighborhood.

Ugh! I still can't believe that Edward Cullen, _the Edward Cullen_, was going to be my partner. The same Edward I was sure I was in love with back in med school. The one who womanized every girl he came in contact with, including myself.

The one who I just couldn't get out of my head.

Maybe a brisk run around the neighborhood would help to calm her nerves and clear her cloudy head.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

_**EPOV**_

"You know I think Bella should know. I think you'd benefit from confiding in her." Seth said to me once we were alone. "And there is no one more trustworthy than Bella."

"You know I will eventually – I'll have to. It's not like Lilly is a secret I'm trying to keep. I'm just not…I'm still trying to sort through things." I said as I scanned my future office. It is much smaller than I am used to in LA and I am definitely going to have to leave some of my medical books at home instead of keeping them handy for reference. The internet was almost quicker these days any ways.

"I understand." Seth flashed a toothy smile. "I bet you're a great dad, Ed."

"I'm trying to be." I sighed. It just wasn't as simple as my younger cousin made it out to be. More often than not I long for the simplicity of life before I met _her_. But I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything. It's without a doubt a catch-22 situation.

During my residency I met Tanya, an aspiring songstress. She was vivacious and I thrived on the energy she provided me.

Then she got pregnant and even though neither of us felt we were ready, or even truly wanted to, we said our vows to each other. The relationship was rocky to say the least. I would come home late at night or early in the morning after a shift and only have enough energy left to cuddle with my daughter. The fighting escaladed between us and our home was no longer home to me. The only place a felt comfortable was at the hospital or in my office so I tried to spend all my time there which took me away from Lilly. I was absolutely miserable.

We finally divorced three years ago when Lilly was four. I tried for full custody of our daughter but Tanya assured the court that her band only toured a month out of the year and that a nanny would join her on the road. Seeing as she was the mother, she was awarded the custody of Lilly while I got stuck with the every other weekend gig.

For the first two years Tanya was home most of the time but then her schedule picked up and she started dating the guitarist of the band. Her priorities started slipping and I was on the verge of taking her back to court for sole custody. Tanya was aware that she would lose if I did so and to avoid that battle, she agreed to let her mother, who lives in Montecito, help out with Lilly and I stupidly agreed to the temporary solution and started making the hour and a half drive to see my daughter.

When I heard of Seth's news, I made a quick decision to fill-in for Seth during his absence and move up to Montecito to be that much closer to Lilly. I knew I would be sacrificing part of what I live for by moving out of the big city, but a year of being closer to my daughter outweighed the negative effects. And again, like the idiot I apparently am, I didn't even think of Bella's involvement.

I thanked my cousin and departed the office. Before I drove away I decided to give this realtor a call. If Isabella Swan recommended her then it was probably in my best interest to go that route. After an exhausting five minute conversation that had me saying only the words "I'm a friend of Bella's from college," I had an appointment the very next day with the world's most hyper-active adult. At least I think she's an adult. Bella never did strike me as the type of woman to have hyper flakey friends – although I haven't seen Bella in 10 years. A lot can happen in 10 years.

I really do regret our estrangement the last year of med school. She drew away emotionally after we had made love that evening and it's nagged at me as to her reasons. Had she regretted letting me in? Did I do something wrong? I just wanted to know why she withdrew and all but ended our friendship.

I truly do miss our friendship and her headstrong attitude. And damn if she wasn't more appealing now than she was then.

When she had stepped into Seth's office, the smell of freesia and strawberries hit my nose like a brick wall and then when I laid eyes on her, her form fitting khakis with that tight red sweater didn't help the thoughts raging in my brain. And of course then I had to go and look her in the eyes. Her brown eyes always held more secrets than anyone else's. They were captivating then, and more so now. She had obviously let her hair grow longer in the past ten years, not too much of a surprise there since she always talked about how she liked it longer.

Then she leaned over me to write down Whitlock's information and I got an up close view of her toned body. She obviously kept in shape.

But I know if I want Bella back as a friend I need to respect the obvious boundaries she had set ten years ago. And I do want Bella as a friend, not just a professional friend, but an actual friend. So I could, I _would_ respect her.

Not to mention my effort to grow closer to my daughter took my first priority right now.

---

_**BPOV **_

Two weeks later, on a Saturday, I was out for my daily run around the neighborhood thinking, like I normally do while running. Yesterday was Seth's going away party at the office and I had expected to see Edward there. I hadn't spoken to him since the day I was told the news of him joining me at work. We have many things we need to work out schedule wise but I suppose that all can wait until Monday if need be.

For the time being though I cleared my mind of everything having anything to do with work or Dr. Cullen and just focused on enjoying my run.

Like normal I passed my neighbors who were out working in their yards. It still took me by shock to think of being able to work outside at the first of March, but that's California for you.

I exchanged friendly hellos with everyone and occasionally I stopped to chat with someone. Like, now when Mrs. Ortiz flagged me down while holding her newborn. I stopped only to play with the baby for a minute.

"He's gotten so big!" I exclaimed as I took the baby from Maria's arms.

"No freaking kidding. The kid's a ham." Maria laughed. "You never pass up a chance to hold a baby, do you?"

"Oh you know me." I laughed then handed Marques back to Maria. "Tell Juan I said hello."

"Of course Bella. See you around!" She yelled as I took off running again. Mr. and Mrs. Ortiz were relatively new to the neighborhood but fit right in with their passion to keep up the historic feel of Palm Circle. Being the oldest part of town it was the responsibility of the residents to help preserve the history. I'm not going to lie, I hire gardeners and landscapers and contractors to do my work, but at least I did my part.

I continued my run for a few more minutes before getting flagged down again, this time by Tyler Crowley – the everlasting bachelor of Montecito, well I guess he's not the only one now.

_I bet him and Edward could be best friends._

"Bells! Wait up!" Tyler yelled after me. I rolled my eyes but stopped.

"What's up Tyler?" I asked but really I couldn't have care less what his answer was.

"What'cha doing tonight?"

It was the same question every time he managed to find me. And my answer was the same every time.

"Not tonight Tyler. I've got a ton of stuff to get done before my new partner starts on Monday."

It was a half-truth. Yes I do have a ton of things I have to do but they all could wait until Sunday or even Monday morning.

"Well all right but soon. I'm gonna make ya go out with me." He said grinning then threw a wink in my direction.

Tyler was an okay guy – appearance wise. He stood about 6 feet tall with brown hair that he always kept perfectly styled. His clothes are spotless and high end quality, he obviously cares _a lot_ about his appearance. And therein lies one of the problems with Tyler. He is very arrogant. Not to mention the mystery of how he gets his money. The man works as a DJ but has more money than the majority of the residents surrounding him.

As my run was coming to an end, I spotted my next door neighbor, to the left, sitting out on a blanket in her front yard, her little angel rolling around next to her.

"Hey Rose." I said as I folded my legs under and sat down next to one of my best friends. Rosalie Hale-McCarty had been the first to welcome me to the neighborhood almost six years ago. At the time Rose was also single and 29 so we naturally started hanging out. It was through Rose that I met Alice Whitlock (Brandon at the time). Rose and Alice went to school together since the second grade and were both ecstatic , to say the least, to adopt a new friend.

The three of us were inseparable and were known – and still known – throughout the town as _The Foxes_. Alice stands a petit 5'2" with black hair that she is always spiking in a hundred different directions. Her beautiful grey eyes can get you to admit to anything. The amount of energy she puts off is insurmountable. She never runs out of it and it is always sure to provide humor to any situation. She's our pixie.

If Alice is beautiful then Rosalie is absolutely gorgeous. As a retired model she can only be described as statuesque. At 5'11", flat footed, she towers over Alice and even me. Her natural blonde hair is always grabbing attention, and of course the sky blue eyes and well proportioned assets aren't too hard to look at either. The only problem with Rose is you had to get past her tough outer shell before you get to see the real woman. She's our bitch.

And then there's me. I've never really thought my own beauty measured up to that of my best friends. In my eyes I'm just average. Average height, average brown hair, average brown eyes, average _everything_. I am just our girl next door.

So it was no surprise to me when my two best friends announced they were both getting married – within a month of each other. In an instant I went from feeling great about where my life was to realizing that I was 33 (at the time), without a boyfriend, and without a family. I couldn't help but almost feel anger towards the men that were stealing my life from me, but eventually I had to admit that the guys were perfect for my friends.

Jasper Whitlock is the exact opposite of Alice and therefore perfect for her. He is tall, muscular with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a calm demeanor. A true southern gentleman.

Emmett McCarty – well there's no one else on Earth like that teddy bear. A huge linebacker of a man, in fact he was a linebacker for the Oakland Raiders for about two years before injuring himself, but he has a heart of gold. The only person Rose couldn't keep out.

Both couples almost instantly started trying for a family. Alice and Jasper were blessed first with twins – Alexander and Janie. Not too long after that I was the first to learn Rose was expecting. That little bundle of joy was now crawling away from her mother and over to my open arms.

"Oh Rose she's gorgeous! I can't believe she's already crawling." I said.

"I know. Oh guess what my dense husband did last night?" She exclaimed.

"It's hard telling with that goof ball."

"True. But he's decided to start calling her _Nessie_."

"Wait, like the loch ness monster? What the…"

"Tell me about it! Her name is _Vanessa_." Rose laughed then quickly sobered up and looked meaningfully at me. "And speaking of babies…."

"I haven't made a decision yet Rose. I just don't know what I want to do. Part of me is so desperate for a baby of my own but at the same time I don't know if being a single parent is the right move for me. But I am running out of time, that's for damn sure."

Rose nodded in agreement. That was one of the best things about Rose; she listened but didn't force her opinions on you if you didn't ask for them. I already know Rose's stance on the subject of me having a child without a man. She didn't agree with it.

"Well…I'm your sister and so I'll support you no matter what decision you make."

"I know and it means a lot." I said solemnly.

"Oh!" Rose shouted making both Vanessa and I jump. "Sorry…I just remembered, you have a new neighbor."

"Someone finally moved into the old Johnston place?"

"Yep. Today."

"Did you get a look at them?"

"Nope, but I saw the truck. You should make sure to introduce yourself." Rose said. We continued talking until I realized it was almost 5:00. We said our goodbyes and I parted towards my front door.

I was almost in my door when I caught a whiff of something burning. I quickly decided the smell was coming from the now occupied house to my right. Of course I checked for flames but didn't see any, however; the smell was very potent so without a second thought I headed next door.

The smell was definitely coming from the open window. Before I knocked, a part of my mind realized I was standing in my yoga pants and sports bra with my hair pulled back into a ponytail, still slightly sweaty from my run.

_Alice would have a fit if she knew I was over here looking like this. Oh well…_

My knock was strong and loud, to alert someone who might be sleeping. If my new neighbors were elderly, there was a good chance someone put something on the stove then fell asleep.

I heard the floor boards creak as someone approached and then the door flew inward. I momentarily forgot why I was over there in the first place.

_Pull it together Swan!_

But how? He was standing in basketball shorts and nothing else, holding a spatula in one hand and the door in the other. His hair was in more disarray than usual and he looked well past frazzled.

What is _he_ doing next door to me?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed this story! Means a lot to me to know you all like the story enough to let me know. Also, I want to let everyone know that I don't see any future problems with getting something posted once a week (Sundays...always on Sunday), but I had a minor mishap with my garage door this weekend - as in it attacked me and now I have a huge gash on my forehead. It's caused issues with getting my house ready for my move-in, but like I said I don't _expect _it to mess with my posting scheduled just wanted to let eveyone know that if for some reason I miss my posting next week, you'll get it as quick as possible. **

**Enjoy Chapter 3!!**

* * *

_Chapter 3_

_**EPOV**_

I have never been a master in the kitchen but knowing that Lilly would be spending more time with me made me realize I needed to figure it out. I assumed experimenting before her arrival would be the best, and plus then if – well more like _when_ – I screwed up, no one would know about it.

Despite my embarrassment over burning the pancakes, my mood brightened considerably when I saw Bella standing on my door step. Her face was pink like she had been working out, which her skin tight black pants and sports bra confirmed. She looked more like the excitable girl from college, like life hadn't had a chance to touch her yet. I have always known Bella is a beautiful woman, and even in her professional white coat she is still attractive, but something about her outside of the office made her gorgeous. And truthfully maybe it was that she was still slightly sweaty and when a woman's all hot and wet men's minds take a turn for the worse.

Nonetheless I was still happy to see her and curious about the warm welcome. I hadn't expected it and I had been a bit concerned that Bella would keep me at a distance considering our past. But she looked to have gone out of her way to be friendly; stopping by on her way home from her health club was definitely a friendly thing to do.

"Welcome to casa de Cullen." I said grinning.

She narrowed her brown eyes before speaking. "Is everything okay here?"

This confused me. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"I thought the house might be on fire." She said waving her hand to disperse a little cloud of smoke. I gave a quiet chuckle and stepped aside to let her in.

"Oh that. Sorry if I alarmed you. Apparently pancakes need to be watched constantly. I guess this is what I get for trying to multi-task."

This caused Bella to smile. She knew I was not a cook by any means. I had lived off of fast food and Ramen noodles in college and trust me when I say that decision wasn't made for lack of funds.

"Did they actually catch on fire?" She asked as she eyed the chard pan in the trash can.

"No but they sure ruined my brand new pan."

"Skillet." She correct.

"Excuse me?"

"That's not a pan, well it is but more specifically it's a skillet. I just thought you'd like to know the correct term." She smiled widely at me. I couldn't help but grin back at her. She really did seem carefree. If only I could have that same weightlessness…

"You haven't changed one bit Isabella Swan."

"And neither have you Edward Cullen." She said. Did I detect a sense of animosity in her tone? Where would that have come from though?

"Would you like some coffee? I didn't scorch it, promise." I offered. "It's black…none of that special stuff. I know how you like it." I said then flinched at the possible double meaning of the words. She seemed to not catch it though.

"How do you know how I like my coffee?"

"I bought you some one night when we were doing a 24 hour cram session." I shrugged.

She ducked her head to hide her blush but not before I caught it. "I'm afraid I don't recall that particular study session."

"Second year, first semester. Human Biology I do believe. You were correcting my terminology then too." I laughed.

"Well like you said, I haven't changed one bit. But no thank you on the coffee…it's too late in the day for me."

"No problem." I said as he set the pot back down. "So was I supposed to be at the office today or something?"

"No, it's Saturday. We're usually closed." She said going back to surveying the home. I hadn't managed to unpack much of anything except what I would need immediately. Boxes were strewn around and it really looked daunting.

But right now my only focus was why Bella was standing in my kitchen, looking almost indecent in her tight pants…and I need to stop that line of thinking before it gets me in trouble.

"Okay I give up then." I really couldn't figure out what she was doing at my house.

"I'm sorry?" She asked cocking her head to the side and knitting her eyebrows together.

"Is this a…personal visit? I mean, I'm glad you're here. Happy to see you in fact but…"

"But…?"

"Why are you here?"

"Like I said, I thought your house was on fire."

I looked out of my kitchen window and noticed for the first time that there was no additional car in my driveway or parked in front of the house. "Where's your car?"

"Um…in my garage." She laughed. "Are you sure you're mentally capable of practicing medicine?"

"I'm perfectly healthy, thank you very much." I huffed. "So…how'd ya get here?"

Bella looked down at her running shoes and shook one of her feet to indicate she walked. Had the woman run half way across the town to rescue me from my burning dinner? Was the smell that obvious? Oh good God…

"Exactly how far away from my house were you when you smelled the smoke?" Did she have super sleuth senses or something?

"I was just…" She started to say and then her cute little mouth formed a perfect shaped O. "I thought you knew." She continued as she started laughing.

"Knew what?"

"I live next door." She said pointing out towards the house on my left shielded by the palm trees. "Didn't Alice mention that?"

"Nope not a word about it and I told her I was a friend of yours." I replied and watched as the wheels in Bella's head started turning. I thought I heard her mumbled something about 'stupid meddling pixie' but didn't ask her to repeat.

But this – her living next door – is a wonderful surprise. I now had renewed hope that we could rekindle the friendship and move past the awkwardness that had unexpectedly settled on us after our shared night. I want – no I need to share that bond with Bella.

"Oh hope you don't mind me answering the door half naked." I said suddenly realizing I was wearing only a pair of loose fitting shorts.

"Nothing I haven't seen before." Bella quickly retorted with a small snort then instantly blushed slapping a hand over her mouth and shaking her head slightly from side to side. "You know what, just forget I said that."

"Already forgotten." I waved my hand dismissively but that was not entirely true. Her little unintentionally provocative sentence had made images of our past night pop into my head. Luckily before my imagination could get too far out of hand Bella spoke again, interrupting them.

"I should get going." Bella said as she backed towards the door.

"Wait." I said reaching for her hand. The energy that I felt as soon as our skin touched was undeniable. But what was it? She had stiffened so had she felt it too? I was still holding her hand but hadn't said anything additional. _Think fast Cullen_. "Um…if…well since we're neighbors apparently, I have a favor I'd like to ask."

"Shoot." She said relaxing her stiff position.

"I'm obviously hopeless in the kitchen." I said and she nodded. "Well would you be willing to maybe help be out in that area? Like cooking lessons? I'd be willing to swap lessons for chores."

It's now painfully obvious to me that if I can't even manage pancakes without a huge problem, I'll never be able to prepare decent dinners for Lilly. I was in desperate need of guidance in the kitchen and Bella was the best option I could think of…not that I really thought through my proposal to her about it, but who else would I have been able to ask? Alice is the only other female I've met since moving here and something about doesn't strike me as the Martha Stewart type.

"Cooking isn't rocket science Cullen." Bella laughed. "Surely a surgeon of your level could figure out how to flip some pancakes."

"Surgeons don't learn by trial and error my dear." I said with a cocky grin in response to her odd, almost hidden compliment. "We learn with expert guidance."

"Hmmm…" Bella mused while tapping her chin.

"Is that a 'hmmm' as in yes?"

"It's a 'hmmm' as in I do need some muscle around the house for a few things." She said examining my biceps causing my chest to tighten with her lingering scrutiny. "Let's make plans to have the first lesson next Saturday morning at 9:00. The neighborhood's annual pot luck lunch is at noon. Pick out a recipe for cookies and buy the ingredients. I'll come over and show you how it works. Sound good?"

"Sounds absolutely perfect."

"Oh and Cullen…no frozen dough. If you're doing this, you're doing it right."

I honestly had thought about the frozen dough but already assumed she wouldn't allow that. It was better that way; I would love to be able to show Lilly I knew how to bake cookies from scratch.

"Deal." I said then her cell phone rang.

"Dr. Swan…sure thing be there in a minute." She said then hung up.

"Patient in labor?" I asked. She nodded her head. "See you Monday morning." I added as she strode through the doorway.

What a stroke of luck that Bella lived next door. Although judging by her facial expression earlier I am pretty sure she didn't think it was a coincidence. Well no matter the reasoning, I am glad I ended up where I did.

When I had heard Bella and Seth were buying a practice together, I had thought about making contact and reconnecting, but by then I was married to Tanya and she had a tendency to be a little jealous of the women in my life, even though they were all strictly professional relationships. It was just not a tree I ever wanted to climb.

But now she had agreed to cooking lessons, sure to be very entertaining for her. This was a small step towards the friendship I hoped to have again with the woman. I felt like she was slowly letting me get closer. Granted it was centimeters at a time, but still progress.

_Lilly will like Bella_.

_Whoa…where did that come from_? I have to keep my thoughts towards Bella as a friend only. That thought was dangerously close to overstepping that boundary.

---

_**BPOV**_

As I drove from the hospital after delivering yet another baby, I couldn't help but let my thoughts drift to my new neighbor…my shirtless neighbor. It was obvious Edward worked out, not that that should have been a surprise. Why would a man who is always on the prowl for fresh meat let himself go? He had to keep his appearance in tip top shape to keep the women drooling.

But besides those thoughts, I couldn't help but wonder why Edward was so keen on learning how to cook. What would a bachelor want cooking skills for? The only logical explanation was he planned to make some lucky woman or women swoon with a home-cooked meal.

I decided to drop Seth a few lines once I got home and ask some questions about Edward's activities the past few years. Unfortunately Seth wasn't very forthcoming with any personal information but did mention that Edward was divorced.

Divorced? It's not like I was happy the man's marriage fell apart, but I'm really not all that surprised. Men like Edward don't ever celebrate a silver anniversary. The fact that he even got married in the first place was beyond mind boggling too. Women flock to Edward without him even trying. Getting married would hinder his _activities_, not something I ever expect to see him do.

In college the girls came and went faster than the days of the week and somehow they managed to find me for comfort. Many of them came crying to me after they hadn't heard from him assuming I would be able to give them some sort of insight to the man they were crazy for. Most of them came with the same sob story as the previous; 'we spent a great evening together after having a romantic dinner out and then I never heard from him.'

That right there is what really made me hate myself. I _knew_ the stories – from the girls and the womanizer himself, but I still let it go there with him. And then berated myself when after it was all said and done I wanted nothing more than to hear him say those three little words.

Edward Cullen doesn't say 'I love you.'

Well I'm not going to fall into the web ever again. I absolutely refuse to be that mindless college student, gaga over the hunky doctor. Nope. No way in hell.

---

**EPOV**

Sunday, I decided to take Lilly to Disneyland. We were having so much fun riding the rides that I stayed much longer than originally planned. I knew her grandmother would berate me since it's a school night, but I just couldn't get myself to part with my baby girl that quick. I wanted so much more time with her. A few hours was just never enough.

After apologizing to Midge, Tanya's mother, I asked, "Would it be all right if I came and got Lilly for the day next Sunday?" I damn well know Tanya is planning on coming home Friday and Saturday to visit her mother and Lilly but was rejoining the group Saturday night. Sunday shouldn't be a problem. Midge is always more than gracious when I want to spend time with Lilly and so I don't see how this could be a problem.

"I wouldn't count on it." Midge grumbled.

"Why not?"

"I have to speak to my daughter first." She said with a tight lipped expression. I didn't push the subject any further than that. Something told me not to.

"I'll call you Sunday afternoon then." Was all I said before leaving the house. If Tanya was going to be away that day there was no reason why I should be kept from seeing my daughter. If I had to I'd just bring the court in. I know my end of the bargain was to not sue for custody but if she started slacking on her end I'd do it in a heartbeat.

The first of the week was hectic with me seeing patients and learning the new procedures in the office. Wednesday I performed the surgeries that Seth had scheduled and then on Thursday while I was on-call I delivered four babies. And even though I was busy, I still missed my routine in Los Angeles.

Every week I would visit a clinic for pregnant teens and assist them with anything they needed. That sense of community involvement was lacking here in Montecito. Of course while I was there, I formed quite a few bonds. One in particular was strong and I had promised to stay in touch with the girl. I mentored through her pregnancy and then delivered her little girl. Her family home was abusive and the father of her child had left her when she told him she was pregnant. Lauren had relied heavily on her friendship with me and I when I told her I was moving out of the city she took it pretty hard. Harder than I had expected actually, which is why I was surprised it had been almost a week since I left and I hadn't heard from her.

Saturday morning, I was bustling around the house getting ready to go over to Bella's for the cooking lessons when my phone rang. The screen read out 'Lauren Mallory,' the girl I had just been thinking about.

It wasn't until I hung up that I realized what time it was. 9:32. It's not like Bella to be late. I pulled my cell phone open again and dialed her number but the call didn't go through.

Well seeing as I do live next to her, it increased my options dramatically, although I really didn't want to interrupt her in the middle of something. But she did promise the cooking lessons.

I headed out of the house and next door. I jumped up onto her front stoup and started to knock but before I could her voice traveled down from an open upstairs window.

"No Rose, I haven't made an appointment yet. Getting inseminated is a major step."

_Shit._

I didn't mean to eavesdrop on such a private conversation, but I couldn't pull myself away from it now. The discovery that Bella wanted a baby bad enough to even consider getting artificially inseminated shocked me to the point of immobility. She always seemed to be pretty level headed and of all people, certainly she could see the hardships of keeping a career and being a single parent. But then again, I could understand the power of the parental drive.

Her side of the conversation continued. "Yes well thank you for the support and no I don't mind you calling about Vanessa's rash. I'll take a look at it tomorrow at the…oh shit. What's the time Rose?"

And that's my cue to sneak back over to my house undetected. I was sure my plan was flawless until when I turned to leave I not only stumbled over her newspaper that was still lying there, but her damn sprinklers kicked on.

"Fuck." I instinctively shouted then instantly covered my mouth but the damage was done.

So the plan was flawed.

"Who's there?" Bella demanded from the window.

"It's me." I replied shyly.

"Would that be annoying Jehovah Witness Me, crazy Serial Killer Me, or Doctor Me?"

"Doctor Me."

"Okay, wait there." She said. A minute later the water shut off. I was standing there trying to dry my shirt by flapping it, which proved as helpful as tits on a nun, when the front door opened. I stopped mid-flap and almost let my jaw drop.

"Sorry about our cooking date. I'm running a little late."

That was obvious – very obvious – as I took in her rumpled hair and short silk nightgown that clung tightly to her breasts and barely cleared her hips. Those legs…what incredibly long legs and so smooth. A vivid memory filled my mind. The memory of how those legs felt wrapped tightly around my body and tangled up with mine.

"I must have turned my alarm off while I was sleeping."

I took a deep breath hoping to calm my erratic breathing and praying she wouldn't notice the betraying bulge in my jeans. "Maybe we should cancel then?"

Her gaze flittered over my chest where my wet t-shirt clung to it. "My sprinklers were rough on you. You look like a six-foot-tall drowned rat."

"Six-foot-one thank you very much and yes they were very ruthless."

She laughed. It was the most melodious sound I'd ever heard. "Did you already buy the ingredients?"

"I did. You're the one who taught me always come to class prepared."

"Okay, well why don't you go get them and bring them over here? I still need to make my dish for the lunch and it's going to take a while, but I promised to help you."

"That sounds good. I'll go change and be right back." I said then turned to head back to my place.

Images of Bella in her little pink nightie were forever seared into my brain, but I didn't mind one bit at all. The most tantalizing fact? She didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that she was standing in front of me in a little bit of nothing. That was just as big of a turn-on as her appearance.

_Keep it professional_.

Yes, I had to keep it professional. She is my new partner and I can't risk that.

But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the thoughts of the possibilities.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: First off I'd like to apologize if anyone was offended by the Jehovah witness comment in my previous chapter. I never meant to offend anyone by this. Hind sight is always 20/20 of course, and I see now it could have come off as if I was poking fun. I in no way meant for that to be the case. Again, I apologize profusely.**

**Here is the next chapter for you. It comes well before my typical Sunday post date, but it's a shorter chapter and is getting you ready for the next one - which I can honestly say is almost half written already. Assuming no more garage door issues and bleeding foreheads...you'll probably get another post relatively quickly! **

* * *

_Chapter 4_

_**BPOV**_

After Edward left, I ran upstairs to change into something more respectable to be seen in. I'm not even sure what the hell I was thinking not putting a robe on. Answering my door in the revealing nightie was stupid.

Although I can't deny the feeling of warmth that rushed through my body as Edward's eyes raked over my exposed skin. Surely he didn't think it went unnoticed? Any woman in her right mind would notice him checking her out. Not to mention he didn't exactly try to hide it.

And I naturally took advantage of his ogling to ogle a little bit myself. The water had made his t-shirt cling unforgivingly to his body, showing off every single one of his muscles. Even though I had seen them just the week before, sans the shirt – something about the way he looked this morning was damn near intolerable.

So even though I probably should be really, really upset with myself for not donning the robe, I can't make myself feel that bad because not only did it allow me to check him out it also got me…."payback" if you will. I believe he probably deserved to get teased just a little bit. Now he knows what he'll never ever have. Again.

After finally deciding to throw on a pair of Alice approved skinny jeans and a basic white t-shirt, I headed back down to the kitchen to start preparing for the dish I was taking to the pitch-in. A pasta salad.

I glanced at the clock and groaned. The clock told me it was 10 in the morning. Two hours is not nearly enough time to properly prepare my salad.

_Damn Rose and her freak outs…and nosiness_.

I had just put the water on to boil when Edward returned from his house.

"Let's get this party started!" He bellowed as he let himself in.

He had changed clothes but his hair was still wet, and even messier than it was before. He had obviously attempted, unsuccessfully, to fix it. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a futile effort. Besides, his hair was one of his sexiest features. And _that _I would definitely not tell him.

His ego's big enough without my help.

"Don't you knock?" I asked in mock annoyance. What surprised me was he actually froze mid-stride.

"Oh…uh…I'm sorry. I thought since you were expecting…I won't…it won't happen again. I should have knocked that was terribly rude…" He apologized flustered.

_Edward Cullen doesn't get flustered. And he doesn't typically apologize for anything._

"Edward…its fine. Shit. I was just giving you a hard time." I laughed at his expression. "You're more than welcome anytime. I've got nothing to hide." I added then almost immediately regretted it. I just basically opened my home to him whenever he felt like dropping by. That was not keeping our relationship strictly professional.

"Well…I'll always make sure you're aware I'm coming over first though."

"Sounds like a plan to me." I said smiling with hidden relief that he didn't take my offer completely to heart. "Let's get some cooking done. What'd ya decide on?"

"Just your basic chocolate chip cookies. I thought for my first time we'd start off with something simple."

"Sounds good. Your recipe will be on your bag of chips." I said as I pulled out another mixing bowl. "Follow the directions. If you have questions – ask."

"That's your teaching method?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yep. Also, if you need something that you can't find, just let me know."

"Okay but if I burn down your kitchen, I'm not liable for it." He said as he struggled to measure out some flour.

"I'm banking on the fact that since I'm right next to you you'll have the brains to get my attention before it gets that far out of hand." I said as I tried to not laugh at him as he was still having difficulties measuring the exact amount he needed. Finally not being able to stand his struggle any longer, I reached over placing my hands over his to stop his movements. The contact sent sparks through my body and made it tingle.

I did my best to ignore it. And not question what it meant.

"Here…this is the best way to measure out flour." I said after taking a deep breath to calm myself and then I showed him how to level the cup off using a knife to insure a full cup – no more, no less. He smiled gratefully at me before continuing on with the cookies.

I busied myself with the pasta and mixing together the dressing along with cutting up the vegetables. We worked in silence for the longest time. It was a comfortable silence though. Occasionally I caught a glimpse of him looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Occasionally he caught me looking at him, but neither of us said anything.

"So I meant to ask. What are you making?" He asked as he finished putting the first round of cookies in the oven.

"Pasta salad." I said as I continued chopping carrots. "You did great with the cookies." I smiled.

"Eh…let's wait for that verdict until we try the first one." He laughed as he set himself up on the counter to watch me finish. To stare would be more effective description. After a minute of it, I couldn't stand it any longer. With a huff I set my knife down and turned to him.

"You're staring."

"I can't help it." He shrugged. I stood there waiting for a further explanation. "It's just you look great. Although I must say I preferred the sleek little number you had on this morning." He said with a crooked grin.

The shy Bella would have blushed. The Bella that I felt like being today was feeling bold and frisky – even though it was wrong.

"So do I." I said picking my knife back up and going back to my work leaving a shocked looking Edward.

"Whoa!"

"What? It's more comfortable than these restrictive jeans." I shrugged. If he had wanted to play then he should have been ready. "I actually prefer to sleep naked." I added grinning to myself. I heard Edward let out a breath but didn't take a chance on glancing in his direction.

Before either of us could say anything more the timer went off alerting us that his first batch of cookies was done.

The conversation flow was effortless but there was still a weird sort of tension in the atmosphere. I tried to ignore it, but it was pointless to lie to myself. There was only one reason and one reason alone as to why there was tension between Edward and me. I just didn't know how to approach the subject because _'hey Edward, remember that time we slept together andI then you tossed me aside like a whore? Yeah that's why I'm weird around you'_ is just not the right way to do it.

I had to say something though.

"Edward…" I started not really sure where to go with it, but luckily he interrupted me.

"Bella, look I think we need to just discuss this now. It's driving me insane." He said as he turned to face me. I could tell by the look on his face that he was about to try and have a serious conversation with me. I could also tell by the far away look in his eye, it was about the past. He was thinking the same thing I had been. "There's been a huge white elephant in the room ever since I showed up at your office."

"Ed…"

"What happened to us? We used to be friends…I would almost venture to say best friends."

_Whoa!? 'What happened to us?' Is he that dense?_

Did he really not see the connection? Did he honestly not understand? I was floored that he wouldn't see it. Not _couldn't _see, but _wouldn't_ see it. I damn well know that he could figure the whole thing out if he really wanted to. I mean he's a smart guy. Surely he could put the connection together. Our relationship changed the second I dropped my guard, slept with him, and then he tossed me aside just like all his other whores. How could I pretend like that didn't happen? Of course our relationship changed.

I was about to tell him everything. Tell him how I felt when he dismissed me after we had shared the night. I was about to tell him how hard it was for me to get past that…how I'm not sure I truly am passed it. I was going to bare everything to him.

"Edward…" I began but was interrupted yet again. This time by the timer alerting us his last batch of cookies was finished. I took it as a sign. "Your cookies are done." I finished lamely before turning away from him to put the finishing touches on my pasta salad.

He didn't say anything as he pulled the cookie sheet out and placed the cookies on the table to cool. After he had cleaned up a little he started putting the cookies on the plate I had set out for his use.

"Do you think I should try one of these before I pawn them off on unsuspecting people?" He asked holding up the last cookie. He looked a little skeptical himself – almost scared. I had to laugh at him. "What?"

"You look afraid to try your own cookie."

"I am." He said very matter-of-fact. And just like that the conversation we were about to have was forgotten. Not that I'm entirely sure that was a good thing.

"You followed the recipe and they smell wonderful. I'm sure they're fine."

He slowly bit into the one he was holding and chewed it even slower before a smile graced his magnificent face.

"Well?" I asked.

"Holy shit…these are great!" he said as he shoved the rest of the cookie in his mouth.

"Well congrats then."

"It was the teaching."

"I didn't do anything. You did it all, remember?"

"Yes but I think that was the best way to get me to do it." He said eating another cookie. "You're going to make a great mom." He said then looked immediately like a deer caught in headlights.

"What?"

"I mean someday." He said.

He hadn't sounded like he meant someday when he originally said it. Oh shit…had he heard? I mean he was outside getting ready to knock on my front door this morning. I had opened the window for the fresh air. I know I had probably been talking loud enough for him to hear since I was annoyed with Rose.

"You heard my conversation with Rose this morning, didn't you?" I asked not really wanting to know the answer though

"I'm not sure I know who Rose is, but…I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to eavesdrop." He said ducking his head.

Of all people to know about my considerations, the last person I wanted to know was Edward Cullen. As his business partner now though he would have found out eventually – if I even choose this route. But now he knew before I made the decision.

"Well it's just an option. I haven't made a decision about anything." I said as casually as I could but even to me it sounded clipped and rough.

"You're not my patient so it's not my place to comment." He said offhandedly but I know he has an opinion. He always has an opinion.

"Oh just say it. You know you want to and if you don't you'll likely to implode from holding it in."

"It's just that parenthood is hard."

Parenthood? What does he know about parenthood? "And I suppose you're an expert on that, huh." I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"Kids are demanding. It's hard for a single parent to meet all the needs…hell it's hard for _two_ parents to meet them. I just don't think you've thought through…"

"I never knew you to be so judgmental…"

"You asked for my opinion."

"And now that you've said it, we're done here."

"You never intended to listen did you?" He asked with a slight smirk on his face. I took a deep breath and realized I might be overacting just a tad.

"I don't need to justify myself to you." I said.

"You're right you don't, but surely you've read the studies about fatherless children."

"Yes." I said tight lipped. Of course I had read the studies! Did he honestly think I would entertain an idea without being properly educated on everything?

"Okay. I've said all I mean to say. Truce?"

"Truce." I said still clenching my jaw and keeping my lips in a hard line. The silence was deafening. I wanted him out but his last batch of cookies hadn't cooled enough to put on the plate and cover. He still had a good ten or so minutes.

"I didn't mean to offend you." He said breaking the silence. "I thought we were just having a discussion."

"A _personal_ discussion about something you eavesdropped on." I said. All I wanted was support. Rose didn't really support my possible decision but she certainly didn't criticize me for it.

"I think maybe I should explain the single parenting…"

"No you shouldn't." I cut him off.

"It's not simply my opinion I'm telling you here. I've been meaning to tell you…" He said but was silenced when my cell rang. I looked at the caller ID and realized it was Alice. I could have called her back but instead I answered it.

"Hey Al…can you hold on just a sec?" I answered the phone before pulling it away from my ear and covering the microphone. "Why don't I just meet you at the lunch."

"Are you mad?"

"I'm furious."

"You're being beyond irritating." He growled as he covered his plate of cookies.

"No more than you are sir." I said.

"See you at the pitch-in." He huffed before walking out.

"Sorry Alice." I said turning back to my phone.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" She yelled into my phone. "More importantly _who_ was that?" She screeched again.

"It was nothing Alice. I was just having a minor disagreement with my new neighbor." I said then remembered he was my new neighbor because of her. "And speaking of that…"

"I know I shouldn't have done it." She quickly said, "But honestly it's the perfect area for him. He's close to everything he needs to be close to but not too close. I would have shown him even if you weren't the next door neighbor."

"But you showed him mainly because I live here, didn't you? And don't you even try to lie to me you little pixie bitch." I said and she just laughed.

"You are so not intimidating Swan. Anyways, yes I did. He told me he was your friend from college so I thought you'd like being able to catch up with him."

"I suppose he didn't tell you our history then."

"Umm…" She hesitated before quietly continuing. "No he didn't but with that tone I know it."

"Look Al. I'm not mad. There's no way you could have known. We shared one night and…well I guess if I'm being honest, I'm not over the rejection." I sighed before collapsing into the chair besides me. "I don't have time to talk now, but maybe The Foxes need a night."

"Soon." She said.

"Soon. Love ya Al."

"Love ya Bells. And hey – it'll be all right. I know it." She said then hung up.

She's right. I know she's right. Everything will be all right. It will all work out.

I replayed my recent exchange with Edward back in my mind. I went through it at least five times while I showered and got ready for the lunch. By the time I had redressed in the jeans and a clean white t-shirt I had come to the conclusion that I had really overreacted. Not just a little bit. A lot. I know this.

He had just been offering his opinion and I got mad at him because he was right. Being a single parent was definitely not something to think lightly of. It would be tough to be a single parent, especially being a doctor. It was a main consideration and the main one that had been holding up my decision.

I was stressed over the situation and I was embarrassed to know that Edward had overheard my conversation with Rose. I should not have acted the way I did towards him.

I needed to apologize to Edward now.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So I know I've posted a lot in the past week (three chapters now) but we're back on the once a week schedule from this point on. **

**Thank you everyone who reviewed the last two chapters (and all previously as well). I know there's been a bit of speculation on the relationship between Edward and Bella and what role Edward's going to play in Bella's life. And as much as I want to give you a sneak-peak...you're not going to get it. hehe. Just read and find out! I will tell you from this chapter forward things start to progress - finally. No written Edward/Lilly interaction this chapter, but you definitely will be introduced to their relationship next chapter.**

**Also, the quick blurb that brought Lauren into the mix, was not just something random. She shows up later, so I was just introducing you to her. You will also know why she called Edward when she reappears. **

**Did I miss anything that needed to be addressed? Please feel free to ask me any questions you might have. I read every single review and try my hardest either to respond directly or through the A/N at the beginning of the next chapter.**

**Thank you as always**

* * *

_Chapter 5_

_**EPOV**_

Well shit…that didn't go at all as I had planned it. Although, I didn't exactly plan anything. I've never felt like more of an asshole than I did the second Bella's eyes went wide. She looked so betrayed and pissed.

And then I went and shared my opinion like the idiot that I am. Of course I had an opinion and she knew that I had one, but that still didn't mean I had to share it with her. Or at least until _after_ I told her about Lilly.

I _should_ have started our conversation by telling her about Lilly.

Not even going to lie, there's actually a lot of things I should have done.

If I'm being honest, I knew the rest of our morning was going to be touch and go when I brought up the past, but I have to know what happened. It's been driving me crazy not knowing and what makes it worse is that she was going to tell me. Then the fucking timer went off for my stupid cookies and she stopped talking completely avoiding answering me.

Then like the punk-ass that I am, I let it go and didn't bring it back up. I just took my cookies off the cookie sheet and then not so subtly changed the subject. Surprisingly it was successful and it seemed to make her relax again.

But of course, I screwed it up again and now she's pissed at me. Like royally pissed at me.

Totally ruined my original idea of getting to know her again and rekindle our friendship. I'd be lucky now if she even wanted me to practice in Seth's place.

No sense in really worrying about the past now though. I would see her again in less than an hour. I could apologize profusely and hope for the best. And tell her about Lilly.

Definitely tell her about Lilly.

Right now, I need to shower and clean myself up. Somehow I've managed to get flour all over me. Ridiculous….

_knock, knock_

"Or…I could get the door…" I mumbled to myself, turning the other direction and heading back towards the front door. Who the hell would be at my door is the question. I'm not expecting anyone and I know Bella hasn't forgiven me so it's not her.

I swung my door open without looking and was immediately attacked with a barrage of high-pitched yelling.

"Edward! What the hell?! I don't know what's going on…or…" The tiny pixie woman yelled throwing her arms around as she walked in my house.

"Mrs. Whitlock?" I interrupted her.

"Holy hell…call me Alice you ridiculous man."

"Okay, _Alice_, why are you here?"

That apparently was the wrong question.

"Why am I here? _Why am I here?! _I just got off the phone with Bella and decided to immediately come over here and give you a piece of my mind!"

"Alice, I know she's mad at me. I plan on dropping to my knees and begging for her forgiveness at the pitch-in."

"Umph…" She said crossing her arms and staring at me. "Okay, good. Also, why didn't you tell me about your past?"

"I did. I told you that Bella and I were friends in college."

"Yes, but you seemed to have forgotten that you slept with her."

"Oh…yes well…"

"It doesn't matter now…" She said then was cut off by her name being called from the front door.

"Alice, are you in here?" A deep voice called.

"Yeah Jazz. Come on in. I want you to meet Edward." She called back towards the door then turned to me. "My husband walked with me. I'd like you to meet him."

"Sure." I said as a man about the same height as me but with blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes appeared.

"You must be Edward." He said extending his hand. I nodded then gripped his hand. "Pleasure to meet you finally. Al here hasn't shut-up about the new guy in town. If she wasn't married I might think…"

"Oh hush." She said but smiled at me. I just laughed.

"Nice to meet you to Jasper."

"Well…I'm still not happy about whatever you did to piss her off and I will get details because we're gong to be having a Foxes night soon…"

"A what…" I started to ask about what a Foxes night was but I caught Jasper shaking his head at me so I let my question fade out while Alice just continued talking.

"But right now, you boys need to go grab Emmett and then meet us at the pitch-in."

"Where are you going?" Jasper asked his wife.

"Over to Bella's." She said like it was the most obviously thing in the world. "And you…" She continued sending me a menacing stare. "You will fix whatever put her in a bad mood. I will not have my plan backfiring." She said as she walked away from a very confused Jasper and I.

"Do I even really want to know what a Foxes night is and what her plan is?" I asked Jasper.

"Nope probably not, but I will inform you on the Foxes because you really should know, especially if you're in Bella's life…in any sort of capacity."

"Well do share."

"I will once we get Em; he'll definitely want to put his two cents in on it."

"Put my two cents on what?" A deep voice boomed from behind me. I whipped around to see a massive…wall. Yes, wall, that's the only good adjective I could come up with. The man is a wall. A good five inches taller than me and at least a hundred pounds heavier and it was nothing but muscle.

If I'm being honest with myself, I was scared shitless of the giant.

"You're scaring the shit out of the new guy Emmett." Jasper laughed causing the giant, who I now know to be Emmett, to smile and all my fears were erased. He was absolutely harmless.

"Hey new guy!" Emmett said slapping me on the back causing me to jerk forward with the force. "Oops sorry bro. Name's Emmett. I live on the other side of Bella with my wife Rosalie and our daughter Nessie."

"Nessie?" Jasper laughed. "No wonder Rose is pissed at you."

Rose? This is Rose's husband? The Rose that was on the phone with Bella this morning? They're all best friends and here I am stuck in the middle of everything. The odd man out. _Great._

"Yeah she is a little mad at me right now, but I think the name's cute."

"You do realize that people call the Loch Ness Monster, Nessie right?" I blurted out.

"Yeah. So?" The fool asked. I just shook my head. "Her name is Vanessa but I just think it's too formal for a McCarty spawn."

"Whatever. Any who…I was just about to introduce Eddie here to the Foxes."

"There's not much to that really, but every guy in this town should know." Emmett said.

"Okay…."

"So Alice and Rose have been friends since grade school. Inseparable. Hottest things to walk the streets in this town. Enter Bella Swan. Fresh out of Med School and sexier than anything in this town…besides Ali and Rose. Instant friendship. Three single females…three single, very sexy and smart women on the prowl. Some guy nicknamed them The Foxes. It stuck. Every guy in this town has tried his hand at one or all three of them. I guess a few have been lucky enough to land a date or two, but none of them ever stuck around long." Jasper said.

"I guess Bella's the hardest to please…and that says a ton considering my Rosie. Word is that she doesn't let anyone close to her…at all."

"So that was life for the girls for four years. Going out almost every weekend causing heads to turn and men to drool. Enter Emmett and I. We tamed two of the foxes but there is still one. The most independent one of the group…"

"That doesn't surprise me one bit." I laughed.

"Well any ways, when they all stopped going out every weekend, they started having Foxes nights. They pick one of their houses, kick out the man, if one is there and gossip and share details about everything. I'm pretty sure Bella and Rose both know my stats."

"Likewise." Emmett chimed in.

I didn't want to tell them that they obviously didn't share everything. Alice didn't know until today that I had slept with Bella in college.

"So everything huh? Good to know. So if I don't want either one of your wives knowing, I shouldn't tell Bella. I'll remember that."

"Good play. Now that we have three, maybe we should counter their little group with one of our own." Emmett said.

"Would they even go for that?" I asked.

"Who cares?! We're the men." Emmett said.

"You go to Rose with that attitude and you'll never be seeing the promise land again." Jasper chuckled. "You know damn well Rosalie Lilian Hale-McCarty wears the pants in your family."

"Wait…" I said finally putting something together. "_The_ Rosalie Lilian Hale? As in the model?"

"The one and only." Emmett grinned like he had possession of the world's greatest thing.

"She married a football…holy shit. You're Emmett McCarty. Wow. Crazy shit. I thought you were the best for Oakland…" I said feeling pretty stupid that I hadn't put the pieces together earlier.

"Thanks man. The injury really depressed me for a while but then I met my Rosie and realized that the injury was the best thing to ever happen to me. My family is my heart. My girls are my life." He grinned.

"I know Em." Jasper chimed in. His facial expression told me he also was thinking of his girls and Alexander.

"Yeah…" I sighed. I couldn't help but think of Lilly and how much I missed her. She was only ten minutes down the road but being this close and not seeing her everyday was harder than I expected it to be.

"Dude? You got something you wanna share with us?" Jasper raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Um…well…I haven't told anyone else and I want to be the one to tell Bella so can…"

"Scout's honor. Won't tell a soul. What'cha hiding?" Emmett asked like a little kid. I couldn't help but laugh. I really did like this guy.

"I have a daughter. She's seven. She's living with her grandmother just up the road. I'm here to be close to her. She's my whole life. I'd do anything for her."

"Are you married?" Jasper asked looking almost furious for a reason I couldn't even begin to think of.

"God no. Her mother and I are no longer…haven't been for four years. Thank the Lord."

Jasper seemed to relax a little bit. "So a single dad, huh? That's huge." He said.

"Way huge." I laughed. "But I wouldn't trade my Lilly for anything. She's the reason I breathe. The reason I keep going every day."

"Something about a little girl looking up at you and smiling." Emmett said.

"No describing it." Jasper said then we all glanced at the clock. "We're late." He said as we all stood up.

"Remember no telling…" I said as we headed out the door.

"Don't worry. It's not ours to tell, but you do realize that all three of them are going to be very mad at you for not telling them you're a father. Bella especially." Jasper said.

"Yes I know. I might need you both there for support when I tell her."

"Ha no way brother! I really like you and all but I like my balls more and if Rose finds out I knew and didn't tell her….woooo…I don't even wanna think about it." Emmett said as he dramatically covered his parts and shivered.

"Bella'd get to you first…after she hits Edward." Jasper laughed.

"I tried to tell her this morning when we were cooking but…"

"_You were cooking?_" They both laughed at me as we walked toward the common area where the pitch in was being held.

"Shove it man. I don't have a wife at home to cook for me remember? I have to learn how to do it myself. Plus I can't be fixing Lilly frozen meals and takeout every time she's over." I said playfully shoving them both. "Besides, I didn't hear any complaints when you were chowing down on the cookies."

They both just laughed and continued to walk in the direction they were going, which now I see is towards were Bella and Alice were standing. The blonde with the two of them, obviously being Rose.

_**BPOV**_

I was on my way out my front door to go to the pitch-in when I was attacked by a five-foot tall pixie.

"Alice…what the hell are you doing here? I _just_ got off the phone with you." I said.

"Oh I know, but I wanted to make sure you were truly okay plus…" She said as she glanced me up and down while clicking her tongue. "Seriously Bella – are you wearing that?"

"What's wrong with this?" I asked looking down at what I thought was my Alice approved jeans and t-shirt.

"The jeans, I like. But with a plain white shirt and…are those flip-flops!? Bellllaaaaa…." She whined.

"It's a neighborhood pitch-in Alice. I'm not wearing heels." I said.

"Will you at least change shirts? What about that cute little pink t-shirt with the silver flower on it? It's really really cute."

"Who cares if I look cute? I'm not trying to impress anyone in this neighborhood." I said looking at her suspiciously.

"Because you should always look your best." She said grabbing my hand and dragging me back into my house and up to my room.

Only five minutes later, I had a different shirt on, my hair was freshly fluffed, and I had makeup on.

"Now let's go. Rose should be waiting…"

"Hey bitches!" Rose yelled from my front door.

"Hey skank!" Alice yelled as we came down the stairs.

"Hot damn Bells…looking sexy today. What's the occasion?" Rose laughed knowing that if I was coming down from upstairs with Alice in tow, _I _had nothing to do with the way I was looking.

"Shove it up your ass beauty queen." I mumbled as I grabbed Vanessa from her arms. "Hello my sweet little girl." I cooed while I walked over to the couch to take a look at the rash Rose wanted me to check out.

"I don't have anything to worry about, do I?" Rose nervously asked.

"No babe. She's fine, looks like just a slight irritation from something. Try changing your fabric softener to something that's hypoallergenic and see if that helps. If not, just let me know and I'll take another look."

"Fabulous. Let's go to this party." Alice said dragging Rose out the front door, me behind them with Vanessa.

"Hey Ali, where are your hellions?" Rose asked as we walked down the sidewalk.

"Oh, they're already there playing with some other kids. Alex insisted on it and so then of course Janie had to follow. I'm okay with that since Maria is there with Marques. Did I tell you she'll be watching Alex and Janie for me so I can do more designing?"

"Oh that's great Alice!" Rose and I both exclaimed. Alice always had a passion in fashion design, not that it should surprise anyone, but when she fell in love with Jasper she started helping him with his realty company and then got pregnant. She really could probably make something of her designs with a little more time available to spend.

"Do you think Maria would be willing to take on Vanessa too? I'm not ready to part with her just yet, but in the future I will need a babysitter."

"I'm sure she'd be fine with that. Maria loves kids and she's so good with them. Alex and Janie just love her."

"I'll keep her in mind." Rose said as we walked up to the party.

"Girls!" Maria announced our arrival.

"Hi Maria." We all sang together as we set down our dishes.

"So good to see all three of you and this little beauty is getting so big." She said as Vanessa reached for her. I happily handed her over, but as soon as I did I was hounded by my friends.

"So any decisions made yet?" Alice asked me. I let out an exasperated sigh before rolling my eyes.

"She's a little touchy about that today." Rose laughed.

"I have not made a decision. Single parenting is really hard and not something I can take lightly. I've got a lot to think about and Edward said something…"

"Edward?" Rose asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh…her hot new neighbor and business partner. He took Seth's place at the practice. They went to college together and _everything_." Alice said with a sparkle in her eye.

"_Single_ neighbor?" Rose asked.

"He'll always be single. He's the perpetual bachelor…womanizer and just an ass."

"She slept with him in college." Alice blurted out.

"Ohhh details." Rose said rubbing her hands together.

"Nothing ladies okay. I let my, extremely attractive, study partner get too close one night and he never wanted anything else. That's it." I said shrugging.

"_That's_ not what you said earlier today missy." Alice said grinning. "You said you thought you had moved past it but apparently after spending the majority of the morning with the hunk you…"

"Okay okay…I'm not over what happened in college but I need to be. He's a womanizer. Not what I need. I don't have feelings for him, just still hurt that, as his _friend_, he would throw me aside like he did. And then he just…irked me today." I said then heard Rose exhale heavily.

"Damn…" She finally said causing Alice and I both turned to look the direction she was slyly glancing. "Is _that_ Edward? Because girl if it is...no matter what he did to you, you should tap that shit again – no strings attached. Wouldn't add to your number and I can tell by the look of the man that it would totally be worth your time." She laughed.

"Slut!" Alice and I both laughed.

"What?! He's fucking hot. If I didn't have Emmett…what I would do to that fine piece of…" She said but trailed off when the boys got within ear shot.

"Hello ladies." Jasper said as he and the other got to us.

"Hello." The three of us said smiling trying not to laugh.

Edward still looked exactly how he looked when he left my house, flour on his pants and all. Of course this just meant he looked entirely too delicious for his own good – or mine.

Even though I was thoroughly enjoying my view, I couldn't help but notice how Edward looked at me. His gaze started at my feet – still clad in my flip-flops thank you very much – then it traveled slowly up my body. But when his eyes met mine he looked almost, maybe nervous? He also looked apologetic.

"Um…Bells, can I uh…can we talk for a second? Alone?" Edward mumbled. I caught Alice and Rose both smiling before walking away with Emmett and Jasper.

"So…" I said looking down at my feet.

"About earlier today. I am really, really sorry…"

"No Edward. I'm sorry. I over reacted – by a lot. I asked for your opinion so when you gave it to me I shouldn't have jumped all over you about it. What you said is all completely right. You have nothing to apologize for."

"Actually yes I do, but it's not anything you know about it." He said looking at me straight in my eyes.

What the heck could he possibly mean? I know about everything he could possibly be sorry for and the odds of him apologizing for _that_ are not high since he has absolutely no idea how much it hurt for him to discard me just like every other woman he'd ever been with.

Of course he did say it was something I didn't know about. That just leaves the doors wide open to possibilities.

"Bella, I really should have told you this a month ago but the time never felt right and now with what happened this morning…well if I had told you before I gave my opinion…see Bella I…"

"Edward, this shouldn't be that hard." I laughed at him.

"You're right. I'm being completely idiotic. I should spit it out. Bella I have…" He started to say but then his phone rang. Judging by the look on his face the ring tone signified a specific person. "I have to…sorry…" He said giving a half smile.

"Yeah no problem." I smiled.

"Hello…slow down…what!?! When?!" He shouted. I watched all his color drain from his face as he went through every emotion possible. "Are you taking her right now? What do you mean you don't know _where _to take her?! You take her to the fucking emergency room Tanya! No I will not, not yell at you! You let my daughter…"

I quit listening. Edward has a daughter. Edward is a parent. Edward is a single parent. Edward was giving me advice from personal experience.

_Damn…_

The one person, who I never thought would have a family, has one. The one person I thought would stay an unattached man his whole life, has a daughter to take care. The one person, who said he never really wanted a family, has one.

And I don't. The one person, who wants it the most, doesn't have it. Life can be so patronizing sometimes.

"Bella?" Edward's panicked voice broke into my mind. "Bella?"

"Oh…is everything okay Edward?" I asked knowing pretty well that it wasn't all right.

"No. Um…this didn't exactly happen the way I wanted it to but…I have a daughter. Her name is Lilly. And apparently she's being rushed to the hospital. I guess she was sliding down the banister at her grandmother's house and fell off. I guess she hit her head…" He said as he searched his pockets for his keys. "Shit! I walked here…"

I noticed his hands were shaky and he was in full-on panic mode. There is no way he should drive while in this state.

"Edward…let me drive you. We'll take my car. Come on."

He didn't say anything just nodded his head and let me take his hand.

"Hey where you two going?" Alice asked with a hint of scandal in her voice.

"Edward's daughter is being rushed to the hospital!" I yelled back at her as we took off running.

"His _what_?!" Both the girls yelled but Edward and I were well on our way to my house without time to explain.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay so this would have been posted earlier if I could have logged into the site! grrr.... Any way - here it is. Chapter 6! Hope you enjoy it. **

_

* * *

_

_Chapter 6_

**BPOV**

"Bella, thank you." Edward managed to get out, although it sounded more than a little strained.

"She'll be okay Edward." I said as I instinctively reached across my middle console to take his hand. He gave me a half smile that held absolutely no feeling or belief in what I just said in return. "Tell me about her."

"Oh you'll love her Bella. She's the smartest seven year-old I know." He spoke quietly. My body flinched at her age. I didn't even fathom that she would be that old. It was only three years after graduation that he started a family. "I'm sorry Bella." He spoke bringing me back to the current place and time.

"Sorry for what Edward?"

"For not telling you…well…_anything_. I should have been up front at the very beginning."

"I'm not following."

"Probably not, no." He laughed humorlessly. "The quick and dirty version is I met my ex-wife. She got pregnant. We got married. Three years ago it was obvious it was over. The court gave her custody and she moved my Lilly here. Tanya is in a band and is gone a lot but I'm a doctor with crazy hours. Lilly stays with her grandmother. When Seth told me about his opportunity, I jumped at the chance to be this close to my baby girl." He choked out. "And now she…" He started but couldn't finish his thought, has his voice disappeared and his eyes teared up.

"She's fine. I promise." I reassured, squeezing his hand.

"Don't promise something you don't have any control over!" He snapped. I jerked my hand back in response, shrinking down to my side of the car as much as was allowed and focused all my attention on the road in front of me.

"Jesus Christ. I'm sorry – again. I didn't mean to snap at you." He said as he ran his fingers through his unruly hair for the hundredth time since we got in my car. "I can't seem to do anything right by you." He said before turning to his window and sighing heavily.

I chose to ignore the many questions that flooded my mind with that last statement. Did he mean ever? Did that mean he acknowledged what happened in college? Or did he just mean right now in our lives? I could spend hours dissecting that one little sentence. I opted against doing that…I would just end up driving myself crazy. One thing was for sure though, we couldn't go on not talking about the past.

"Did you think I'd be mad at you for not telling me about Lilly?" I asked instead.

"Honestly, yes." He answered without looking at me.

"Well that's just stupid."I laughed. "Do I wish you would have told me sooner, well yeah, but I understand. I understand a lot more now. Everything makes more sense to me."

He finally turned back to me, but held confusion in his eyes.

"I knew you had some other reason to help Seth out than just to help your cousin. But I just couldn't figure it out. My first thought was there was some new flavor of the week…" I said but closed my mouth with an audible snap. The look on his face told me I had said too much.

"Is that what you think of me? That I'm a selfish womanizing bastard?"

The hurt was so evident in his eyes and in his tone and I instantly felt like a complete ass. I had to either fix this or tell the truth. Now was not the time though.

I pulled into the emergency section of the hospital not a minute later and parked in my reserved spot before speaking again.

"We're here." I said lamely. He gave me a look letting me know that this particular conversation was far from over before jumping out of the passenger side. I quickly followed him through the double doors where he was being greeted by one of the overfriendly nurses.

"Doctor Cullen, she…oh Doctor Swan?" The nurse said, her tone very accusing when she saw me, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "Um…yeah she's in room 506."

"Thank you." We both answered – me a little more tersely than Edward – then ran for the stairs knowing we could get there faster that way. Once we hit the fifth floor we rounded the corner at top speed to Lilly's room. As we rounded, a blonde bombshell came into view standing next to an older woman. Edward continued running towards them while I came to a complete and total halt.

The moment I saw them, I realized for the first time since arriving at the hospital, hell for the first time since Edward told me his daughter was in the hospital, that I had no true place in this situation.

I didn't belong in this hallway with Edward and the mother of his child. I wasn't needed in any form here. Little by little I started backing back towards the corner to hide and make a quick getaway.

"_Who_ is that?" A piercing nasally voice sounded through the empty hall.

_Damn-it…_

Without even looking, I had a feeling it was Tanya…_that was her name right?_ How in the hell did he live with that noise?

"Bella?" Edward's velvety voice was a welcomed sound after hers and I looked up to find his eyes looking very intently at me. He didn't smile but motioned for me to approach. I slowly did and I felt Tanya's eyes on me, judging me, the whole time. I was suddenly very thankful for Alice's impromptu attack this morning.

As Tanya continued to stare, the need to tell her to shove it up her ass and that it was rude to stare was becoming almost unbearable, but I decided that since we were in a hospital it was just not the right time. Instead, I plastered my best fake smile onto my face.

"Tanya, this is Isabella Swan…" Edward started speaking as Tanya's expression remained condescending towards me.

_Hell to the no. Don't cause a scene…do not cause a scene Swan…_

"Bella, this is Lilly's mother, Tanya." Edward continued. Opting for the mature adult approach, I held my hand out for her to take. Instead, she looked like it was crawling with germs and turned her nose up at me.

"Why are_ you_ here?" She asked me. I felt Edward go stiff next to me with her attitude.

_I can be the bigger the person…I can be the bigger person_.

"So _why_, Bella…" She sneered again.

Yeah the whole bigger person wasn't going to work out after all.

"Well, I was spending the day with Edward and _our_ friends when he got the phone call about Lilly. He was so shaken by the news, I offered to drive him. Oh yeah…and its Doctor Swan to you. Only my friends call me Bella." I said then took in her expression. She looked irritated but not pissed. "And oh yeah, I was wondering, how is it that Lilly was allowed to be playing on a banister anyways? _Tanya_?" I asked cocking an eyebrow in her direction.

That did it.

"You little whore. Are you suggesting I wasn't watching my child? How dare you question my abilities as a mother!? You don't even know me?!"

"I would never." I feigned innocence. "I was just merely curious."

"You don't know shit about this family or me. You're just Eddie's flavor of the week. He was probably in the middle of fu…"

"Tanya, that _is enough_!" Edward hissed. I was too stunned as Tanya's words echoed my very own in the car. "You damn well know I haven't dated since the divorce. I'm not as willing to bring strangers into Lilly's life as you are."

Okay, so that totally took me by surprise. Edward hasn't dated in…what? Like eight years? Tanya's the last girl he dated? Surely not? The womanizer was no more? I would have thought as soon as his divorce was final he would have wanted to paint the town. Had one little girl settled him down?

"…_what_ do you mean you're going on a nation-wide _tour_?!" Edward shouted.

It seems I have once again spaced into my own little world and missed something very important.

"Please can you two keep it down." The older lady spoke for the first time. She shot me an apologetic smile as she tried to gain control of Tanya. It was then I saw the slight resemblance between the two. So this was the grandmother? How did she spawn such a hideous creature like Tanya?

"We have things to talk about. _Now_." Edward said through a clenched jaw then turned to face me. "Can you please stay with Lilly while I talk to my ex-wife?"

I hope he reads her the riot act. She doesn't deserve to have custody of the little girl…wait what did he just ask me to do?

"But I…uh…she doesn't…what if she wakes up? Can't her grandmother…"

"No, Midge needs to be a part of this conversation too. You're great with kids. If she wakes up, just talk to her." He said then leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Please. I need you right now."

Just call me a sucker.

"Okay Edward, I'll sit with her."

"Thank you…"

"I _can't_ believe you're asking this…slut…"

"Keep it up sweetheart." Edward growled.

_Growled? Well fuck me…_That has got to be the single most sexiest thing I've ever heard come from a man. Hell, even the look he gave her made me feel things I didn't want to feel.

"Let's talk." The grandmother finally said dragging Tanya towards the bank of elevators. I watched the three of them disappear before taking a deep breath and entering Lilly's room.

As soon as I saw her, my heart constricted. She looked just like her father, bronze hair and his facial features. I could only imagine her eyes were the same color of green as well.

Her little body looked so fragile in the bed. Her head was wrapped in gauze and she had her IV tube attached. I had the sudden urge to hold and comfort her. Instead, I sat down in a chair close to her bed. I felt really awkward just sitting next to a child who didn't know me so I did the only thing I could think of.

"Hello Lilly, my name is Bella. I'm a friend of your daddy's. He's gone to get something to eat. He didn't want you to be alone if you woke up and asked me to sit here. Since he's one of my best friends I couldn't tell him no. I hope you don't mind. I can't wait to actually meet you. Your dad tells me you're very smart…"

"Bella?" The sweetest, tiniest voice called snapping my head up towards the hospital bed.

Yep, bright green eyes. Just like her father.

"Yes honey?" I whispered hoping not to scare her. She had obviously been awake through my whole speech since she caught my name, but I was still unsure of her reaction to me being there.

"They're fighting again, aren't they?" she asked like it was nothing, but sadness tinted her beautiful eyes.

But how do you answer _that_?

"The truth?" She asked again.

"They're…uh…they're just having a minor disagreement about something."

"Okay. So are you my daddy's girlfriend?"

"No sweetie. Just his friend. We went to doctor school together." I said but why did that seem to hurt to admit?

"You're a doctor too?" She asked with an extra sparkle of excitement in her green eyes.

"I am."

"Are you my doctor?"

"No sweetie I'm not." I answered and watched her eyes drop again. "You okay, Lilly?"

"I want you to be my doctor. You're nice and really pretty – like my princess dolls."

A seven year-old made me blush. That's just ridiculous.

"Thank you Lilly. You know, you remind me of a princess as well."

"Daddy calls me his little princess." She beamed thinking about her dad. She's obviously a daddy's girl.

"Really?"

"Uh huh. He tells me I'm spoiled too. But I don't know what that means 'cause then I hear my mother say the milk is spoiled too." She said so innocently. It was the cutest thing I'd ever had a kid tell me. It was such an amazing observation – and so spot on.

"Well…when your daddy calls you spoiled he means you get everything you want. When people refer to food as being spoiled they mean it's no longer good to eat or drink."

"Confusing." She said wrinkling her little nose in frustration.

"Yes I know." I laughed as I gently tapped her nose with my finger. "So Miss Princess Lilly, what do you like to do?"

"I like going to school and I like playing with my dolls. We play school or doctor like daddy…oh Bella! Will you play with me? Will you, please? Pretty please with a cherry on top!"

"Of course." I enthused.

"Yay! Mother never plays…." she started right as her room door flew open revealing Edward and, unfortunately, Tanya.

"Oh princess!" Edward almost cried as he rushed to his daughter.

"Daddy!" She said as she wrapped her little arms around his neck.

"Don't ever scare daddy like this again, okay? Why in the world were you on the banister playing around?"

"Okay daddy. I'm sorry. And…well…see mom was in the other room with her boyfriend Keith and I well…I wanted to do something to get her attention and I…I didn't know I'd fall off and…and I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to fall off and…" She explained and started crying.

Between Edward and I glaring at Tanya, if looks could kill she should have been twelve feet under. I was livid that she would ignore her daughter that like – enough to make her slide down a banister to gain her attention. I wonder how long Lilly laid on the floor with a head injury before her brainless mother finally realized she was hurt.

If I was livid, I damn well know Edward was beyond furious with his ex-wife.

"Tanya…I hope you know that if I have to this will be brought up in the court." Edward murmured over his daughter's head.

"No need. I'm not contesting." She said but looked less than amicable about it.

Edward tilted his head back down to Lilly who was still crying and blubbering about being sorry.

"I'm just glad you're okay princess." He whispered. I heard her sniff before pulling her head away from her father.

"I'm fine and I met Bella." She looked over at me smiling. "Bella's gonna play dolls with me. Can she daddy?" She pleaded. Edward laughed, Tanya glared, and I just smiled at the little angel.

"If that's what Bella wants to do, I won't stop her."

"When can we play?" She asked me.

"Now that I don't know sweetie. Your daddy's going to have to answer that question." I said and again watched her eyes turn sad, but in the same instant Edward's were almost glowing with excitement.

"How would you like to come live with me for a while?"

"Really?" she perked up but then calmed down again. "What about Grandma and mom?"

"Mom's going away for work baby." Tanya said from behind Edward. "And grandma thinks you would really like time with your father."

"Yes! Yes please! Oh please daddy! When can I come to your house?"

"Well, I talked to your doctor and I think I convinced him to let you go home with me, right now. How does that sound?"

The only answer was a squeal of delight from Lilly and a peal of laughter from Edward.

It was the best sound I had heard in a really long time. Edward was really, honest to God, happy. Seeing him with Lilly made my heart ache. Ache for what they had. And damn-it if I just couldn't deny it anymore…I was still attracted to Edward. And that son-of-a-bitch didn't seem to be helping my attraction lessen any.

I could no longer deny it. I want Edward Cullen and it's oh so painful to think about.

How did I let this happen?

_**EPOV**_

After telling Tanya, yes _telling_ her, that I would be taking Lilly to live with me while she was off being an irresponsible mother, I couldn't get back to Lilly's room fast enough. I had felt bad about asking Bella to stay with her while I chewed out my ex-wife for not watching our daughter close enough, among many other things, but I knew I could trust Bella to be there. If Lilly were to wake up and no one was in her room, I was afraid she would feel alone and unloved, but at the same time seeing a stranger might throw her for a loop. Bella was the perfect option and I was so happy that she had been the one standing next to me when I got the phone call. She would know exactly how to handle the situation if Lilly woke up.

I'm not even going to lie, I was still reeling from Bella's comment in the car on the drive over to the hospital, however. She thought I was a man-whore. She truly honestly thought I had women coming and going like patients – not that I didn't have the offers – but I wasn't there in my life right now. Lilly was the most important thing to me and the thought of introducing a woman into her life only to risk the possibility of yanking said woman right out again was _not_ an option to me.

Tanya was a little more cavalier in this area. Another thing I was always throwing into her face.

_But I introduced her to Bella with no problems, didn't I?_

Yes I did do that, but…Bella's different. She's always been different.

Yes, back to Bella. I hated knowing that's how she saw me. I couldn't help but wonder if she had always seen me that way?

_That's a stupid ass question_. I told myself. Of course that's how she's always seen you. You were very open with her when it came to your relationships in college. She knew everything. Probably more so than she should have known.

I stopped running just shy of Lilly's room door. Did this explain what happened to us in college? Was she disappointed in me?

"Are you just gonna…" Tanya's screeching voice echoed off the halls and sent chills down my spine. But we all just froze when we heard the musical laughter coming from my daughter's room.

She was awake. And she's laughing. One of the favorite sounds. Of course Bella could get her to laugh.

Without another thought I burst through the door registering only the smile on Bella's face as well as my daughter's but then ignoring everything as I ran to Lilly.

I wasn't at all surprised to find that my daughter had managed to rope Bella into playing dolls with her. I also wasn't surprised to find that Bella honestly seemed excited about it.

And then of course to hear what she told me about Tanya being in the other room with her boyfriend Keith as Lilly tried to garner her attention. I wasn't at all surprised to catch the glare Bella was giving Tanya. I'm sure mine was just as fierce. The story Lilly just told me sealed the deal with Tanya and the living situation. In our conversation, I told her that Lilly would be living with me while she was off on tour and then for as long as she wanted. I also warned her that I would not hesitate in suing for full custody if I ever got the impression she was not being the mother she promised the courts.

I would now be suing for full custody of my Lilly. Tanya knew this and knew she would lose the battle if she tried to contest. And so I wasn't surprised when she didn't argue with my unspoken threat.

It all hinged on whether Lilly would agree to live with me.

She was beyond thrilled at the prospect of living me. My whole world seemed right. Nothing could make it better…

Or so I thought.

I was proven wrong when I looked up from my princess.

The only thing I saw was Bella who was smiling the biggest smile I had seen on her face since I moved here. And she was looking only at me.

Even though she was smiling, she had a slight hint of sadness in her gorgeous brown eyes. Sadness that I suddenly wanted to get rid of for her. I wanted to protect her.

Every part of my body warmed as an unfamiliar feeling flowed through every single one of my veins.

And then I remembered she thought I was a womanizing bastard who used women only for my needs. As her friend I wanted her know I've grown. I've changed.

No. Who am I kidding? I _need_ her know I'm not that same guy. I ache for her to know I'm not _that_ guy anymore. I'm not the love 'em and leave 'em type. I don't string women along anymore. I don't lead them to thinking we're going to have more than one night and when it's done tell them…

I was struck with an epiphany and I almost with I hadn't thought of it.

I looked up again at Bella sitting in the chair next to my daughter's bed and listened as they continued to discuss possible play dates.

There is absolutely not doubt that Bella is gorgeous. Hell she was gorgeous in college. My only female friend that I hadn't slept with.

And then it happened one night. I wasn't planning on it. We were studying all night and the next thing I knew I was kissing the amazing creature sitting next to me.

Afterwards, I freaked out. I treated her like all my other conquests. I had no idea how to act any differently even though she deserved different. I didn't know anything else, but she was nowhere near like the others. I panicked and did what I always did.

I asked for a rematch, if my memory recalls correctly.

God I was such a douche-bag.

I owe her yet another apology. A beyond_ huge_ apology.

I need to know where to start.

I know.

_Alice_.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay so I know I'm a day late with posting...I'm sorry, but I moved this weekend and of course nothing goes as planned so I do not have interet at my house yet. (Hopefully getting it Saturday though). I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!! :-)**

**As always thank you thank you thank you for all the wonderful reviews and thoughts and well...just everything. Reviews make me laugh and smile and just all around giddy. :-)**

**I can't remember if anyone asked any direct questions - so if you did and I forgot to send you an email or address them in this A/N - just let me know and I'll do that with my next post.**

_

* * *

_

_Chapter 7_

_**

* * *

**_

EPOV

To say the past week has been interesting, would not be doing it justice. It all started as soon as we got in the car at the hospital to go home. Bella was strangely quiet the whole way back to the neighborhood. Even Lilly picked up on her mood, asking her if she was all right. Of course Bella gave her a perfect smile and said she just had a slight headache.

I wasn't buying it.

Monday at the office wasn't any better. Bella all but avoided me, but she really didn't talk to anyone so I wasn't sure if it was me or if she really was just having a bad day.

However, a bad day turned into a few bad days with hardly any words outside of professional conversation and only small not true smiles.

While my work days were weird, my nights were even stranger. Starting Monday night, Jasper started coming over after dinner and spending time with me. Said he just wanted to get to know me better. I wasn't turning him away by any means, and Lilly instantly took a liking to him. Even started calling him Uncle Jazz, telling him all about her school and how her day was and what new things she learned. He loved every second of it too and anything to help Lilly with get settled was perfectly find by me.

Wednesday Emmett joined us after Lilly was in bed. The three of us sat on the back porch and bullshitted for hours and it wasn't until Rose called at midnight that we broke the little party up.

Having the guys in my life is great, but I hate not telling them about my past…the true history of my relationship with Bella. Part of me really doesn't want them to know though. It has been very clear in the conversations that we've had this week, that both of them look at Bella as a little sister. A very important little sister.

Of course I know I have to tell them at some point and when Jasper mentioned having a guys' night on Friday, I knew that that would be my most opportune time to discuss the past. Maybe even get a few tips on how to fix my major fuck up.

Going to Alice for advice was my first thought and I still think that she's my best option, but this week has been so crazy I haven't had a chance to talk to her. I tried calling her Monday afternoon but she was busy and told me she'd try to call me back and I didn't have the time later in the week to try again after not hearing from her.

And now it's Friday and I still haven't heard back from the pixie and today Bella seems to be even more out of it than the she has the rest of week. It's almost like déjà vu with the whole not talking and avoiding thing. If I screwed up again, I sure wish she'd talk about it this time instead of just ignoring me.

_Although it's not like she owes you anything…remember you're the asshole_.

Yeah, I'm the asshole but she's still my friend.

"Bella?" I asked as I knocked once on her office door Friday afternoon.

"Yes?" She answered so I opened her door and stuck my head in. "Oh, come on in Edward." She said and gave me a half smile just like the one's I'd been seeing all week.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I sat down across from her. He eyes widened slightly at my question but then she relaxed back in her chair and sighed.

"Why do you ask?"

"Uh…well it's just you haven't seemed quite like yourself this week. I'm just worried about you." I answered truthfully, a little confused by her reaction and then by the following question. Did she think I didn't notice things about her? Did she think she was hiding the fact that she was…_off_…this week.

Probably. She probably thinks I don't care about her enough to notice when she's not her normal self. Her personality is like a breath of fresh air to me so I definitely see when something's wrong with my Bella.

"Oh." She said then looked down at her desk before taking a deep breath and looking back up at me. Our eyes locked and I could clearly see that she was debating on whether or not to tell me what was bothering her.

"Bella, you know you can tell me anything." I almost pleaded. Something was wrong and it was honestly scaring me.

"I know Edward it's just that…" She started to tell me but was interrupted by a sing-song voice that could only belong to one woman.

"Well hello there my friends!" Alice said as she came around the corner and into Bella's office.

"Good afternoon Alice." I greeted nicely, but gave her a look that told her I was not happy for her interruption or that she hadn't called me back. She just smiled brightly at me and started to open her mouth when Bella interjected.

"Alice, what are you doing here?" Bella almost snapped at her best friend.

"Sounds like someone needs to get laid." Alice mumbled under her breath winking at me before turning to Bella.

_What the hell? Why did she…_

"Alice…" Bella warned but with a slight blush on her cheeks. So beautiful.

"I came to make sure we're still all set for tonight."

"You couldn't have called?"

"Nope! Okay, Bells, you're in charge of getting the dessert. Rose has got the food on lock down and I'm bringing the tequila. Other than that we won't need anything else." She said then started walking out. "OH! Wait…don't forget your 'no-guy-is-good-enough-for-me' lingerie."

I choked on my breath. Instant flashes of Bella opening her front door wearing that silk pink nightie hit my brain like a speeding train.

"You okay there Edward?" Alice asked quirking an eyebrow my direction but with a hint of mischief in her eyes.

"Um yeah. I'm not sure what that was. Er…so what are you ladies up to tonight?"

"It's a Foxes Night! I'm super excited about it. No men. No kids. Just us girls and alcohol."

Uh What? Wait? Jasper told me we were good to go with our guys' night and that Alice would watch Lilly.

"But I thought…" I started.

"You thought wrong buddy. I told Jasper that your guy night would have to be postponed until at least next weekend. He tried for tomorrow night but he knows I'm worthless the whole next day and night after a Foxes Night. I will not be watching Lilly for you tonight, although I would truly love to get to know the little angel you decided to hide from all of us…" She said then threw a glare at me. "So yeah…sorry! You boys are more than welcome to get together at my house tonight – with the kids of course. I know Emmett's going to be over there anyways since we're using their house."

"Uh okay…."

"Jazz will be calling you anytime now letting you know of the change." She said right as my cell phone rang. "See. I know these things. I gotta go. See you tonight Bella babe. And no you can't get out of it." She said then looked back at me as I answered my phone. "Chow!" And then she was gone.

"My wife just leave you?" Jasper laughed.

"Um yeah…hold on a sec will ya." I said then pulled my phone away from my ear and turned to Bella. "I guess I'll talk to you sometime later then."

"Yeah." She said almost dejectedly. I stood up to leave not knowing what else to say to her and feeling more than a little helpless and maybe even a little guilty at the chance I was the reason. "Oh hey Edward." Bella grabbed my attention again. I turned around immediately. I would happily hang up on Jasper if she was going to start talking. "Um…thank you. For noticing and for caring enough to ask."

"Of course. I'll always be here for you Bella." I said almost biting on my tongue afterwards because I hadn't always been there for her. And I'm almost 100% positive the same thought crossed her mind but being Bella she didn't say anything. She just nodded and I took that as my cue to leave.

Jasper and I made plans for me to be at their house by 6:00 for dinner and briefly discussed the hijacking of our man night but the conversation was short and to the point. Afterwards, I finished my last patient and headed to Lilly's school to pick her up.

After yet another discussion with her annoying teacher and even the school's therapist regarding our situation and how Lilly was handling the change, we were finally able to escape and head home. These talks had been a daily thing between the teacher and I and, honestly, I'm pretty much over the meddling. I have a feeling she's just trying to get as many details for the gossip mill as she can - which of course I'm not giving. I'm not letting my daughter's private life be the center of the juicy news shared between teachers and eventually passed to students. We all know how that goes. It's not like it's a huge scandal - our family drama - but kids will find a way to tease her about something.

"What's for dinner tonight daddy? When am I going to see Bella again? I haven't seen her since we got home from the hospital. I want to tell her all about my school and my teachers and my friends and…" Lilly started chattering a mile a minute, bringing me back to where I was.

"Lilly, sweetheart, remember to breathe. One question at a time please. Daddy can't keep up with your fast brain." I laughed.

"Sorry daddy." She giggled her bright green eyes sparkling. "So when do I get to see Bella? We still haven't played dolls and…"

I couldn't help but smile at my daughter. She was definitely a hyper one.

"Well I'm not sure. Maybe we can stop by her place tomorrow." I said.

"Okay!" She said bouncing in her seat. "So what are we doing tonight?"

"Well we're going over to Uncle Jazz's place for dinner."

"Uncle Jazz! I'm so excited now. Is it like a party?"

"Well I'm glad you're excited about it. Not quite a party though. His wife is going out with her friends and he has invited us to join him, his children, and another one of my friends for dinner."

"Are they my age?" she asked almost bouncing in her seat.

"No. They are all younger than you, so set a good example."

"What are their names?"

"Well let's see here, Jasper's children, twins, are Alexander and Janie. Emmett's a brand new father to a girl name Vanessa."

"Okay." She said shrugging indifferently then very quietly mumbled, "I'd rather see Bella though."

I couldn't help but think how much I agreed with that.

_But why? When did that notion start up in my mind...._

No need to consider the implications of that right now. We'll save that one for a rainy day.

Two hours later Lilly and I were walking towards the Whitlock's. Bella's house was already dark so I figured the girls had already started on their evening. This also made me think about what they might be talking about.

I had a feeling that Bella was going to be coming clean with both of them tonight regarding our time in college. Alice already knows we slept together but I'm almost 100% positive she doesn't know how big of an asshole I was. I knew tonight would was going to be the night I talked to Jasper and Emmett but knowing the girls were going to find out as well, with out me there, was almost scarier.

I think I would much rather have them all hear it from me so I can at least try to defend myself.

No, wait. _Defend myself _is not the right phrase. I shouldn't defend my actions – they were wrong. Explain my actions....I guess that's a little better, not really what I'm looking for but better.

Well I guess if I can't be there when Alice and Rose find out, I can tell the boys. This will allow me to _try _and _explain _to the boys exactly what I was feeling and how I know now I fucked up. This of course will need to be explained to the women as well.

Assuming Emmett and Jasper don't kill me when I tell them tonight.

"It's about time bro!" Emmett boomed when he swung open Jasper's front door.

"Make a habit of answering other people's doors?" I laughed as I gripped his hand.

"Eh…it's just Jazz's." He laughed then looked down at Lilly. "Well hello princess. And who might you be?"

"I'm Lilly!" She said with a great big smile earning a smile from Emmett in return.

"Well it's a pleasure Miss Lilly. I'm Emmett but you can call me Em or Uncle Em or whatever you want. Come on in and I'll show you around." He said as he offered her a piggy-back ride. Lilly, of course, didn't hesitate one second before jumping on his back. "Hold on little one!" Emmett said before he took off galloping through the house.

"Faster!" Lilly said through her laughter making me smile so hard my cheeks hurt.

Eventually I found my way into the kitchen where Jasper was standing cooking dinner.

"Hey Jazz." I said as I put Lilly's juice in the fridge.

"Hey Ed. So I hear Emmett has your daughter." He laughed.

"Yep. I think she already likes him."

"What kid doesn't?"

"True." I said right as Emmett came sliding into the kitchen with Lilly still on his back and Alex and Janie right behind him. They were all laughing hysterically.

"Okay kiddos…Uncle Em is tired." He said as he set Lilly back down. Lilly immediately walked up to Jasper.

"Uncle Jazz!" She squealed. Jasper instantly stopped what he was doing and bent down to her level and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Is that mac 'n cheese!?" She asked grinning.

"Of course sweetheart. Just for you little ones!"

"Thanks!" She said before she took off with Janie and Alex back into the living room.

"Dinner will be ready in a couple of minutes kids!" Jasper yelled after them.

"Okay!" They all yelled back.

After dinner we spent the next few hours playing games with the kids while we also took turns helping Emmett with Vanessa but by nine they were all gamed out and were passed out in random places around the house. Vanessa was sleeping soundly in her pumpkin seat and we were sprawled out on various items of furniture.

"Man those kids have the highest energy levels." Emmett said taking a deep breath.

"No joke." Jasper and I both said.

"So who's ready for some guy time?" Jasper asked.

"What'cha got in mind? We can't drink…Rose would have my ass if she knew we drank anything while we were on kid watch."

"Oh yeah definitely no alcohol, but how about at least some poker."

"I'm in." I said.

"Sounds good." Emmett said so Jasper got up and went for what I assumed was the poker chips and cards.

As we got settled around the table I couldn't help but realize this was my opportunity to tell them. Neither of them would get too loud in order to keep the kids asleep, plus they couldn't do any major harm since Lilly was with me.

It's just _how_ to go about brining it up.

As Jasper started shuffling and passing out the chips, I tried desperately to figure out a way to do this with finesse. Unfortunately as I picked up my cards I realized I had absolutely no hope in winning the hand or coming up with a good way to tell them how much I had hurt someone they considered a younger sister.

Like a band-aid.

"Hey guys can I talk to you about something?" I asked.

"Sure buddy." They both answered without even looking at me.

"Okay well…you know I already think of you two as really good friends, right?"

"Um…right…" Jasper hedged as he finally looked up from his hand.

"Okay, and you know I think of the girls in the same way and that I wouldn't purposely hurt any of them."

They both just raised an eyebrow, now looking intently at me.

_Like a band-aid_. I told myself again then took a deep breath.

"I kinda sorta slept with Bella in college." I said as fast as I could but still comprehendible.

They laughed. The fucking laughed.

"That's kinda sorta noticeable bro." Emmett boomed.

He's probably right about that but I didn't think...if the girls hadn't even picked up on it...

"Well what Emmett's saying is…its obvious there is a history there and we just _assumed_ it was sex."

That makes more sense, but that's not the news I'm worried about giving them.

"Yeah but…" I all but mumbled. I swear I heard Emmett growl.

"What did you do? I swear to God Edward if you slept with her and then ignored her and used her…" Jasper started.

"No! Well um not exactly...no that's not…all right just hear me out…before you try to kill me?" I begged and took a sigh of relief when they agreed to listen.

"So in college I considered Bella one of my best friends…probably my only true best friend. I had always been well aware of how gorgeous she was – is – but I cherished her friendship so much that I never thought about going there with her. Okay that's a lie, I thought about it, _a lot_, but never thought I'd actually followed through with it. Bella is the type of woman that you don't get involved with unless you plan on making a commitment. You know?" I said not expecting an answered and of course I didn't get one, just small nods.

"What changed then?" Emmett said.

"In college I was having way too much fun to commit to anything. I had girls lining up at my dorm room door but they were always just for sex. Always there to fulfill that part of my desires never the intellectual side. I had Bella for that. I had that relationship with a female where sex hadn't tainted anything. I loved it! I always felt connected to Bella and one night after studying for a really long time with her and laughing our way through another cram session…it just happened. I let myself do what I had always thought about doing. I kissed her and then she didn't pull away and we didn't stop it and it just progressed. I can't even explain why it happened or why I did it but I did it and I don't regret it at all." I said then took a deep breath.

This was where I showed how much of an asshole I was.

"After it happened I panicked though. I didn't know what to say or what to do. My habit was to get up and leave without any more thoughts - never going back for seconds. But with Bella it seemed wrong to just _leave_, she was my friend after all. Not just a random hook-up that I would never see again. She was my Bella...someone I cared for a lot. But I didn't want that commitment. But I also didn't want her out of my life which was exactly what would have happened if I did my typical. I had absolutely no idea what to do. I'd never _dated_ anyone and like I said I didn't want that full on commitment. I freaked out and so…I said the first thing that came to mind...I asked her for a rematch."

"A rematch!?" They both said turning red in the face.

"I regret it. I should have talked to her. I should have told her where I stood but instead I made it sound like I only wanted sex. I made…"

"You made her feel like a cheap whore." Emmett said through a clenched jaw and narrowed eyes as she stood up out of his chair his big body looming menacingly over the table.

"Yes and then _she _started ignoring _me_. And I didn't even realize she was hurting from our night together. Back then I thought she was on the same page I was. I thought she understood. She even said 'okay' after I asked her the rematch. And I mean she knew how I lived my life and she had let it happen between us even knowing I didn't date girls…

"No you only fucked them." Jasper said.

"But even then I wasn't stupid enough not to realize how different sex with Bella was. It scared the shit out of me. I freaked out. She never gave me the chance to explain…"

"Would you have told her? Would you have honestly told her that you felt more for her than just a cure for the itch that night? Would you have let her believe you would want more from her…" Emmett asked.

"No probably not because at the time I didn't want more."

"At the time?" Jasper said cocking an eyebrow.

I hadn't even realized I used that terminology until he repeated it back to me.

_At the time_? What the hell did that mean? Did that mean I wanted it _now_? I don't know. Granted I still feel that pull to Bella now that I did back in college. I still find her incredibly sexy. Her wit still amazes me…hell she amazes me period. Since the hospital I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. I just contributed that to the fact that I had realized my mistake and had been trying to figure out a way to make it right again, but maybe not. Could I possible be feeling like _that_ towards Bella?

"Edward?" I heard both of them ask, still sounding mad but not as mad.

"Um…what…" I said still slightly spaced out thinking about the fact that I did want to be with Bella.

I'm such an idiot! I'm drawn to her. I've always been drawn to her. I...want more than a friendship with the amazing creature living next door. And she hates me....fan-fucking-tastic.

"You do want more, don't you." Jasper stated. It wasn't even close to being a question.

"I think I do." I said.

"You think?" Emmett asked incredulously.

"No…I know. I can't be just her friend any more. I'm such an idiot. I have to be with her. I think I've always…"

"Well you've got a lot of shit to make up for. You hurt her…bad." Jasper said.

"No shit. I would even venture to say that you're the reason she's so gun shy of guys now. Why she's been single for pretty much…well I don't think she's ever had a serious boyfriend." Emmett said his tone a little more light than it had been.

"Not true. She had a serious boyfriend in high school before leaving Forks for college." I said.

"She did?" They both asked surprised.

"Yeah. Her first love…her first everything actually." I said and as I thought about Jacob I felt that familiar twinge of jealously seep into me. It was the same feeling I got the first time she told me about Jacob.

"Damn dude…tone the jealousy down will ya." Jasper laughed.

"Huh?" I said confused seeing as how I hadn't said anything.

"It's coming off you in waves and you only _mentioned_ her first boyfriend. I can read it on your face."

"Even I can and I'm not weird like Jazz when it comes to people's feelings." Emmett laughed finally and I felt myself calm down a little. Knowing the big guy wasn't as pissed as anymore was definitely a good thing.

"Oh." I know, lame response, but it was all I could come up with. "So what do I do now?"

"Well…this is what you're gonna do…"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Okay, a little shorter than what you typically see me post, but this is more of just an extension of chapter 7. This was written to get both EPOV and BPOV to the same exact place in the story. And to give you - well hopefully give you - a better idea of where Bella stands mentally with everything. **

* * *

_Chapter 8_

**BPOV**

"About time you got here skank." Rose shouted as I came through her front door.

"I had trouble finding a desert that would go well with Mexican food and tequila." I laughed as I walked into the kitchen. Rose was standing over the stove finishing up the enchiladas and quesadillas with Alice perched on a stool at the island sipping a margarita.

"Anything goes with Mexican and tequila!" Alice laughed. "Drink up."

I took the glass from her hand and all but chugged it.

"Whoa girl…slow it down a little bit. We don't need you passing out before we get all the dirty details of you and Edward." Rose said with an evil glint in her eye.

And that took a minute longer than I expected it to take. I knew the whole point of the gathering tonight was for me to spill my guts on the history between Edward and I, but that doesn't mean I was excited about it.

I especially wasn't excited about it since my revelation at the hospital on Sunday. It certainly made my week a little weird and also guaranteed to make the discussion tonight a little more…stressful.

Back in college when I had a thing for Edward, I found a way to deal with it and still be his friend and not act awkward around him. Somehow in ten years, I've managed to forget how to do that apparently.

The nervousness started almost instantly at the hospital and continued through the week. I had no idea what to say to him…no clue at all. I felt like a stupid little high school girl with the crush on the star quarterback. Damn ridiculous!

I thought I was doing a pretty good job acting as normal as possible. Apparently not well at all. When Edward asked me what was wrong, I absolutely panicked. I couldn't tell him that I was acting weird because, even though he treated me like shit, I still liked him and wanted to drag his ass straight to bed and fuck his brains out. Luckily Alice showed up and saved me from that conversation. Of course a second after she showed up I was wishing it was Rose instead of the pixie devil.

Either way, I didn't have to tell Edward anything….so I was happy.

"So are you going to share willingly or are we gonna have to painfully drag it out of you." Alice chirped.

"I'll share but what do you wanna know."

"Everything…do not spare a single detail. If we're gonna help you through this…whatever it is you've been going through all week…we need to know what happened then and what is happening now." Rose said.

"Okay okay…let me get some more alcohol in me first." I said as I made another margarita.

"Let's start in college." Alice said as we settled down with dinner.

"Right." I said taking a deep breath. "We met in our anatomy class…"

"Oh anatomy…how dirty." Rose laughed.

"Anyways…" I said while rolling my eyes. "We decided to get a study group together. When we realized we were on the same path for the exact same degree we pretty much became our own study group. We were always getting together and were practically with each other every day. Except when he was getting laid by some random chick of course. I would hear of the latest conquest the next time I saw him and then usually a day or two after that, I'd hear from the girl asking what she did wrong and why Edward didn't want anything to do with them anymore…"

"What an asshole…someone should kick him in his balls." Alice said.

"Yes, well I believe some girl did that to him actually." I laughed.

"Good. So even though you knew how he acted, you still fell in…"

"I was never in love." I interrupted Rose. "I was in lust and I liked him but I saw a different side of him most of the time. When it was just him and I, he was…_different_. He was everything I thought I ever wanted, but then when I saw the other side of him – his arrogant womanizing side, it kept me away from him and kept me from falling in love with him."

"But…" Both girls said.

"A girl can only take so much time alone. We were studying one night and he initiated it. I should have stopped it but once he started, I lost all will power to say no."

"Was it good?" Rose asked.

"No one's lived up to it since. The most amazing night of my life. He was so loving and it was just wonderful. I was with _my_ Edward that night – not the selfish bastard everyone else knew. Without realizing it happened, I got my hopes up that he was a changed man. That he would change for me – to be with me. I thought it was the beginning of something." I said as I caught myself from shedding the tears that were threatening to flow.

"Of course those hopes were instantly shattered. My blissful sex high was lost when instead of asking me to go to dinner or a movie or just cuddle…he asked me for a rematch."

"A rematch?! A fucking rematch!?" Alice shouted.

"Yes definitely going to kick him in his balls. What kind of person says that to a…"

"I thought I was different. We were friends after all. I was hurt that he would treat a friend like that. It was obvious then that he would never change. He would never settle down. He was always going to stay unattached. I was stupid to think for a second I could change him. I mean, I'm no body special. I was furious at myself for thinking, even for a second, that he had changed."

"First of all you are special…" Alice started.

"Obviously not special enough. I wasn't good enough for him. Tanya…you two should see her. She's beautiful. But she's the one that got him to settle down." I said then waved my hand dismissing that topic of conversation. I didn't need to think about who was good enough for him. "Anyways – so I was heartbroken and pissed. Great combination. Plus I was embarrassed that I thought I was good enough for him so I just separated myself from it…from Edward. We continued our study group but I never let myself be with him alone. I let our friendship fizzle out. I thought that if I separated myself from him I could get over him and move on…blah blah blah."

"Okay so we've established you felt used, hurt, heartbroken, pissed, and what not so you cut him out of your life. Makes sense to me." Rose said.

"Yep but then like the annoying pest that he is, he showed back up after ten years in your office to work with you..." Alice said.

"Yes, and even after ten years my body still reacted to him which I could handle. I mean a lot of guys make my body react but then he had to go and prove all my previous thoughts about him wrong. He _had_ changed and he _had_ become _my _Edward after all. Or at least he seems that way. You two should see him with Lilly. He's a wonderful father and doctor and he's just….damn him if he isn't fucking perfect. The only part of him that kept me from falling in love with him in college is gone." I said finally telling them.

"Wait." They both said holding then hands up.

"So did you just tell us that…that you're…that you love him?" Alice asked.

"I…yes I love that son of a bitch and I hate myself for it because he treated me like dirt. I shouldn't _want_ to be with him. I shouldn't want to be with someone who hurt me. And also he obviously only thinks of me as a friend – always has…"

"You don't have sex with someone you only think of as a friend…"

"Not true and you know it Rose." I glared at her.

"Well….whatever. So you love him? You're not mad at him for what he did." She said changing the subject from her sketchy past back to me.

"No I'm not mad at him. I've never really been mad at him. Always mad at myself for letting it happen. I should have known better. And as for you other question, yes I do Rosalie and it makes me beyond furious with myself. I shouldn't…"

"Why not?" Alice asked.

"Well for starters – he doesn't like me like that…"

"He does…" They both said slightly impatiently.

"So what's your other reason for not wanting to get it on with your very own personal Doctor McSteamy?" Alice asked again raising her perfectly arched eyebrow at me.

I couldn't stop the images of a wet Edward standing at my door step or the image of him trying to cook or what he looked like when he scooped Lilly up and held her tightly against his chest.

_Huh…_what was my other argument? I swear that I had another one. Why is it whenever I think about that man all my other thoughts get fried? I shouldn't want to be with him. He's…_Edward_ for crying out loud.

_Yes but he's a different Edward. He's changed._

I shouldn't go down that path again. It ended it heartbreak once, what makes me think it won't end in heartbreak again?

_Because he's changed_.

Or he's just putting on a show for right now.

_Why would he feel the need to do that?_

Am I really arguing with myself right now?

"We're still waiting." Rose said.

"Look…it's just not a smart thing to do. I've been there done that no need to do it again."

"But if it was as good as you said…" Rose laughed.

"The sex was good, yes, but I have no idea what a relationship would be like. He appears to have changed but…"

"You're scared shitless." Rose chuckled as she poured three shots of tequila.

She's right. I'm scared. I blocked myself off from commitment ever since college. I don't want to get hurt again. I _can't_ get hurt again and especially by him. I just can't.

So since I'm refusing to drop my walls, I guess that leaves me one choice.

I'm just going to love a man and do nothing about it because I'm a pussy. I'm going to pretend I'm still just his friend. I'm going to figure out how to act normal around him again.

This is going to suck.

"You're not going to do anything about it, are you?" Alice asked.

I just shook my head and downed the shot of tequila sitting in front of me.

"Hey Ali…help me make a new batch of margaritas, will ya? I think we're in need of more for sure."

"Couldn't agree more. We apparently need to have a much longer chat with our little Bella tonight." Alice said smiling at me.

They reappeared five minutes later with a fresh pitcher of margaritas and a whole other bottle of tequila.

"We're going to make sure by the end of the night you understand that pain sucks but it is so worth it when you find the one. We also are going to be giving you a self-confidence boost, because honey you're crazy if you think you're not special enough." Rose smirked.

One thing's for sure…it's gonna be a long night.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So this whole still not having internet at the house is really starting to kill me. I can't post, I can't read....it's annoying! Too bad I can't do anything about it right now b/c my car's a piece of sh*t and I have to keep taking it in to get worked on and then of course that means a rental for the day as well...grrrr.....**

**Anyways, enough about me. You're here to read about Edward and Bella. I don't blame you, they're much more exciting than I am. These two crazy kids are getting there and you know with the help of the gang, it's sure to be interesting.**

* * *

_Chapter 9_

**BPOV**

Last night with the girls was definitely a night for the record books. I can't even begin to recall the amount of liquor that was consumed between the three of us. I do know Rose passed out on her couch and Ali made herself at home on the oversized chair. I, somehow, managed to get myself home and in my house. Not that I actually remember walking across our yards – or even opening my door. But here I am sprawled out, face down on my couch. Clothes from last night still on – having refused to take any kind of lingerie with me like the pixie said – drool on my chin and a massive headache.

We're talking unbelievable headache of epic proportions. I'm almost positive no one has ever survived a headache like this and I'm pretty sure it's trying to kill me right now.

It doesn't help that there's been a steady banging from somewhere in my house since I woke up.

_What time is it anyway?_ I thought as I rolled my head to one side to try and find some sort of time telling device.

I found my phone first and after clearing out the seven missed calls and then the five text messages, I found the time. Nine. Nine o'clock in the morning. There was no way in hell I should be awake yet.

Once I got the time and realized with my headache I would not be sleeping anytime soon, I checked my missed calls – one from Rose, one from Emmett, one from Jasper, two from Edward, and two from Alice. All text messages from Alice. I only read the first one.

'_Last nite was gr8! Don't forget operation 'Take It and Shove It Up Your…' starts 2day!'_

Ah yes…the operation the girls deemed a necessity last night. I'm not quite sure I really understand what they're planning but I do know it has something to do with showing Edward what a stupid ass he was in college and throwing my "fucking awesomeness" in his face – Rose's words not mine.

I was not privy to all the details. Alice decided it would be best for me not to know the whole plan as I would pitch a fit – which of course made me really nervous about _the plan_. All I was given was that I had to pamper myself today and then we were going shopping on Sunday.

_Son of a bitch there's that banging again!....oh the door…._

"Bella!" I heard him yell through the door. Obviously sounding a little bit more than panicked.

"Hold on…" I moaned as I tried to get myself up off the couch. I'm pretty sure he couldn't hear me respond to him, especially since he banged on the damn door – again. And louder this time. I literally cringed with each bang.

"Bella! Are you in there? Are you…" He kept shouting through the door.

I finally managed to get up off the couch and shuffle my feet across the floor, eyes half open, one hand on my forehead trying to hold my brains in my skull, the other in front of me to make sure I didn't run into anything. He was getting ready to bang on the damn door again when I swung it open.

"Jesus Christ Bella, you look like..." Edward started to say but was cut off by a cute little gasp.

"Are you sick Bella?" Lilly asked as she let go of her father's hand and stepped towards me.

I only meekly nodded then stepped away from the door and back to my couch where I fell unceremoniously onto it, groaning in the process when the movement made my head split even more. I heard Edward and Lilly come inside and shut the door behind themselves but I didn't bother to look up at them.

Even if I could open my eyes wide enough to take in the expressions, I certainly didn't want to see Edward's which surely was mocking me right now. He's probably trying his damnedest not to laugh at me. Everyone knows nothing is better than making fun of someone with a hangover. Hell I've been on the other end. It's great fun!

Right now, not so much.

"Is it the flu?" Lilly asked from directly in front of me. "Daddy, can't you fix her? She's sick and needs…oh I know! Daddy, we need to go make chicken and noodle soup. It always makes me feel better. Grandma Esme…oh…she'll know what to do! Can I call Grandma and Grandpa? They're the bestest when I'm sick…"

I almost laughed. Almost being the key word there. She's just so darn cute it's not far. Edward, however; finally let his laughter out.

"Bella doesn't have the flu honey. I can almost promise she's got a headache and probably a slight tummy ache but not the flu." He said through his chuckles.

"Quit your laughing." I mumbled through my hair and the pillow my face was smashed in to.

"I'm sorry it's just you're really bad off. How much…"

"Too much." I sighed then rolled over onto my back, draping one arm over my eyes to keep the light dim. "I thinking I'm dying."

"Oh no! Daddy?" Lilly panicked. I had forgotten she was there and that she would probably take that literally instead of me just being a smart-ass baby.

"She's not dying princess. She's just being dramatic right now. She'll live. But I do need to get her some things."

"Can I help?"

"Of course. Can you run and get her a big glass of water for me?"

"Yep!" She said then took off.

"You don't have to take care of me. I'm very capable of doing it myself." I said as I sat up on the couch and then immediately collapsed backwards again when my world started spinning.

"Yes I can see that." He laughed. "Where are your washcloths or do you have an icepack somewhere?"

"Icepack in the freezer and the aspirin is in the cabinet next to the pantry."

"Be back in a second." He said and I swear I only took one breath before I felt the cold on my forehead and heard the glass on the coaster next to me.

"What's wrong with her Daddy?" Lilly asked as she took my hand.

"What Bella has is something that is common with adults only. It happens sometimes after going out with friends or partying…"

"Bella went out last night?"

"I was next door a Rose's with her and Alice." I said then remember Lilly probably no clue who I was talking about.

"Uncle Jazz's wife and Uncle Em's?"

This surprised me. Not that she called them "uncle" but that she made the connection.

"Yes." I simply said as I laid my head back down on the pillow and closed my eyes.

"Daddy…does this mean Bella won't be playing with me today?" I heard Lilly whisper to her father – or she thought she whispered it.

"I don't think so princess. Bella doesn't feel well at all and it will probably take her all day to get over it."

"Oh." She said sounding very disappointed. It made me even more upset with myself for getting so drunk the night before.

"Soon. You'll get to play with Bella soon." He said and I could imagine him smiling adoringly at his daughter. That little girl had him so wrapped around her tiny fingers, it was beyond adorable. He was so good with her and she clearly loved him more than anything else in her life. He's clearly a great father – a great person.

Here he is nursing me.

And I spent last night trashing the man with my girls coming up with some sort of plan to make him eat his words from ten years ago.

Maybe I should grow-up and move past it? I mean ten years? Who holds onto that shit for that long? Yeah, I made a mistake in college and let myself sleep with someone I knew wasn't right for me, but what college chick hasn't done that?

We're obviously not the same people we were in college. We've grown and changed. Both of us for the better, if you ask me.

I _want_ this Edward. Yeah I've gotten to the point where I can admit that to myself. I want him but that doesn't mean I'm gonna give into him. Hell he probably doesn't even want me like _that_. I did just run from him with no explanation.

_Am I no better than him? _

From the outside, it kind of looks like I slept with him and ditched him just like he used to do to all his conquests.

Never thought of it that way. Huh….that's kind of comical.

"Bella, love?" Edward whispered into my ear.

"Hmmm…."

"Are you gonna be okay if we go home?"

"Yes. I'm just gonna lay here and try to sleep it off as much as possible."

"Okay." He chuckled.

"Shove it Cullen. You just wait until you're hungover. I'm so gonna give you a bunch of sh…crap." I said correcting my language in front of Lilly. He only laughed harder.

"Whatever you say Bella. If you need anything…anything at all….just call me. I'll be home all day and can be here in a second."

"Thank you Edward."

"For what?"

"For taking care of me."

"My pleasure."

"Bye Bella." Lilly said.

"Bye sweetheart." I said.

"I'll check in on you later this evening just to make sure you're okay." He said and then I felt what could only be his lips on the top of my head.

It was the simplest of gestures. Something Emmett or Jasper would have done, but somehow it was different knowing it was Edward's lips on me. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face or the warmth that spread through my body.

_Damn-it. This plan that Alice and Rose have in store for me, better help me get over him._

Just because I want him doesn't mean I should want him. No way in hell was I doing that again. I don't care if he has changed…and is _perfect_.

_Ugh! I am so screwed…._

**EPOV**

_I am so screwed…._

According to _The Plan_ that Jazz and Emmett established last night, I'm supposed to _not_ make a move on her until the time is right, but….uh….if Lilly hadn't been with me this morning I don't think I would have been able to control myself.

I knew she was home because both Alice and Rose had called me to chew me out and both had mentioned that Bella had gone home instead of crashing at Rose's. That's when I decided to call her to find out if Lilly could come over.

She didn't answer either of my phone calls so I decided to walk over to her place. After banging on her door for five minutes and ringing her door bell countless times, I was starting to get really nervous.

She finally opened the door…and I almost wish she hadn't. Not because she was hungover but because she looked so damn cute. Her makeup was smudged under her eyes, her hair was ratted, and her shirt was twisted around her body. I wanted nothing more than to attack her lips – her neck – her collarbone – every inch of her body…._damn it._

Here I was fantasizing about a woman who felt like death run over twice.

_Real smooth Cullen_.

Okay…back to the plan. If I'm not allowed to make my move, then I can't allow myself to think of Bella in other way than professional. I can't let my mind wander to how perfect her lips are, the bottom lip just slightly bigger than her top. Or how big and open her coffee colored eyes are; letting you read every emotion that crosses them. Or how the curve of her hip….

"Jasper…" I said the second he answered his phone.

"Ed…what's wrong?"

"This plan of yours and Emmett's. It's killing me already and it's only been…not even 24 hours!"

"You've got it bad, man." He laughed.

"No shit! We went over that last night asshole." I growled.

"Clam yourself. Listen…just keep it in your pants for this week. Ali was telling me that the girls are going out next weekend and that they've got Marie to baby-sit for all of us – including you. We'll plan to go out too, just us guys."

"How's that gonna help me with the Bella situation? I'm not just gonna go off and find some strange…it won't help me. I promise that."

"I'm not asking you to randomly fuck some chick." He laughed again. "Trust Em and I here. Behave this week and then we'll go out and have our guys' night next weekend."

"All right." I sighed. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Ali and the girls are going shopping so I'll be at home with the twins. Why?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over for a cookout. I'm gonna invite Emmett too. The kids can play and we can watch baseball or something."

"Sounds good to me. Noon then?"

"Yeah noon." I said then hung up the phone.

"Daddy…" Lilly said from behind me.

"Yes darling?"

"Who's coming over tomorrow?"

"Uncle Jazz and Alex and Janie. Probably Uncle Em too."

"Okay." She said then paused. "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you like Bella?" She asked shyly. Lilly is never shy so I was pretty sure I knew she didn't mean as a friend.

"Yes I do…a lot." I said smiling.

"Me too." She smiled back. "So when are you going to ask her out? Be your girlfriend?"

"Um…I'm not sure. I…uh…don't even know if Bella likes me like that Lilly."

"Oh." She said then grinned from ear to ear. "She does."

"She does, does she?" I said trying not to laugh at my daughter.

"Yep. I know." She said then tapped her forehead before walking away from me.

My daughter is an interesting one…maybe a little crazy. Can children at 7, show signs of mental instability?

For the time being though, I need to do things to keep my mind off of Bella. Cleaning, mowing, laundry…that ought to do it.

Four hours and a spotless house later, it worked, sort of. If you count not thinking about someone every minute and just every _other_ minute successful.

"Lil…I'm gonna run over and check on Bella. Do you wanna come?" I yelled upstairs to my daughter.

"Umm…no thanks daddy. I'm in the middle of something."

"Okay. I'll be right back. Don't do anything…"

"I know daddy." She said like I _was_ the seven-year-old and she was scolding me.

She's growing up way too fast, that's for sure. It's hard to believe she's with me daily now. I know it's only been a week so I shouldn't be used to the idea yet, but it still seems so surreal.

In this week's time, I have decided to go ahead and sue Tanya for full parental custody. She hasn't even called her daughter to talk to her! Can you believe that? What kind of mother goes a week without talking to their only daughter?

_I know…a horrible, selfish woman, who never should have been a mother_.

Lilly deserves to have a woman in her life that loves her unconditionally. A mother. Tanya's never been a real mother. I have myself to blame, of course. I should have left her ass years before I did. It was obvious early on that she wouldn't care for Lilly like she should. But with work and everything, I just didn't have the time to do anything about it.

No dwelling on the past and what I should have done. It's the present and that's what I can control and damn-it if I'm gonna make _everything_ right.

Of course that's difficult when I want nothing more than to jump across this threshold and grab the woman that's standing in front of me now….in nothing but a fucking towel.

Yeah a towel…a really short towel.

"Edward." She breathed while latching onto said towel.

"Um…yeah…uh…" _Son-of-a…use your big boy words, Cullen. _"Just checking to see how you're feeling."

"Oh."

_Was that disappointment flash across her face….naw_

"Well…I'm much better now as you can see, I seem to be functioning like a human again. Sorry about this morning. I honestly don't remember much about your visit except you got me water and the icepack."

"No worries about this morning. Glad I was here to help. You really needed the water for sure." I said trying not to focus on how much of her legs were showing…or how she was more than likely completely naked under….

"Oh yeah the water helped a lot. I still feel kinda…ick…I was just about to jump into a warm bubble bath. Help relax me a little."

I think I audibly groaned at the mental image that just popped into my mind. And I can testify that my dick definitely enjoyed the mental picture.

And judging by Bella's evil little smirk she knew exactly what she was doing to me. Well two can play whatever game she's playing…

_Stick to the plan…_

I will…I can tease her back but not make a move.

_What if she's better at the game than you…_

No one is better at this than I am.

_Suit yourself…_

"Hmmm….a bubble bath huh?" I asked while I stepped toward her.

"Uh-huh." She said as she stepped a little towards me.

"You need any help with that? Maybe a nice back massage would help relax you too." I saw her eyes flash lust…this is working. She is getting just as worked up as I am. But why the hell am I doing this? It's only gonna end badly….

"Mmmm…you know something Cullen…" She said as she stepped again towards me. "You might just be right." She purred as she placed a hand on my left peck, right above my heart. I know she felt it increase in speed.

"I am?" I squeaked.

_I actually fucking squeaked? You got to be kidding me…_

"Yeah…about the massage part anyways."

"Uh…um…well…"

"And I know just the person to do it _to me_."

_Abort! I'm not gonna be able to stop this and I can't do _this_. I haven't even apologized for my past behavior. Shit shit shit shit shit…_

"You…you d…do?"

And now I'm stuttering.

She didn't answer verbally. She just bit her bottom lip and nodded while looking up at me through her eyelashes.

I almost lost it standing right here at her door. She almost made me cum with a look. This is really bad.

"Who?" I managed.

"Hmmm…well see I know this really sexy guy, who's great with his hands and he's _really_ close so it's handy…"

"Re…really…"

"Yep! Thanks for the idea. I gotta go make an appointment right now." She chirped then started to close the door.

What the….what the hell just happened! She's good…

"Wait…" I said shooting my hand out to stop the door.

"What?" She asked innocently…way too innocently.

Okay, so I obviously didn't have anything more to say to her. I mean what was I supposed to say? _'How about some help with my extremely hard problem?'_ Yeah not likely.

"Never mind." I finally said.

"Okay." She shrugged so I started to painfully walk away from her. "Oh hey Edward."

"Yeah." I grimaced as the pain that was even evident in my voice.

"Good luck with that." She said as she glanced down to my obvious erection. I was all but pitching a tent in my jeans for the love of God.

I blushed. I fucking _blushed_.

And she giggled and winked. She fucking _giggled and winked_!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I've decided I have an attention span of fly. Even though I love everything about this story, I couldn't keep my mind from wandering off to another plot line for a new story. So...just to tease every one of my great readers...as soon as this story is finished, I'll be posting another one. :-). Wanted to tease every one! **

**Hope you enjoy this installment! **

* * *

_Chapter 10_

**BPOV**

Holy shit…holy mother son-of-a-bitch...

"Alice!" I yelled into the phone when she finally answered.

"What the hell Bella…take it down a notch. I'm still…"

"I just flirted shamelessly with Edward."

"So. And your point is?"

"I did it in a towel…_only_ a towel."

Seriously, what the hell was I thinking?

_No, I know what I was thinking…I was thinking like my skank-ass friends. Damn them and their stupid ideas._

Okay…in all fairness, the whole answering the door in a towel and then proceeding to flirt with Edward, wasn't their idea. In fact their plan didn't even "start" until tomorrow when we go shopping.

I only had myself to blame for this one.

I was truly getting ready to relax in a hot bubble bath when he knocked on my door. In a rash split second decision, I wrapped my towel around me and answered the door.

As soon as he laid his eyes on me, it was obvious that he noticed what I wasn't wearing and my confidence skyrocketed and I acted without thinking really.

And then I got really bold and pointed out that I knew he was sporting a hard-on and abruptly shut the door in his face.

"You did what? Oh that's fabulous! Wait till Rose finds out, she'll be so proud of you! I had no idea you had it in you."

"_I_ had no idea I had it in me." I said then finally just let loose and laughed at the whole situation.

"And he truly reacted to you?"

"Oh yeah he did." I said still laughing.

"This is great. That means we'll be more successful than originally hoped. Payback will be yours." Alice laughed.

"Alice…I…I don't want to necessarily get payback on the man. I just…"

"You want to make him want you…well honey he already does so the next step is not let him have you. Take your bath…sleep well tonight and be up and ready to go shopping at 9 tomorrow morning. It's gonna be an exciting day!"

I wasn't sure if exciting was the adjective I would have used to describe a day of shopping with Alice and Rose. I probably would have gone with words like exhausting, obnoxious, and expensive.

Still don't understand why I need new clothes. There's nothing wrong with what I wear. You'd think since they picked out my current wardrobe too that they'd be happy with it but apparently since it's been five years it's time to update.

Whatever. I gave up trying to figure those two out ten years ago.

My only option now is to just go with it and try not to complain too much. It only makes things worse.

So go with the flow I did…until Rose tried to force me into a red micro-mini dress that looked more like a little girl's red shirt.

"Rosalie I will _not_ wear this! I absolutely refuse! No way in hell, you got that?"

"But Bella…" She and Alice whined together.

"I refuse. Absolutely refuse. You can not force me into that _dress_."

"Oh we could and you know it but we won't if…"

"If what Alice?" I asked quirking an eyebrow at her.

"If you agree to all the other outfits…shoes…accessories…and lingerie. No more arguments. Period."

"So I have to take everything else no arguments, but I don't have to wear this…this whatever the fuck this is. Right?" I asked motioning towards the dress I currently had on.

"Right." They both grinned mischievously.

_Damn._ I fell right into that trap. They never expected me to wear this hooker outfit. They're good. Real good.

After eight hours of shopping and way too many of clothes later, we were finally on our way back to home.

And not that I would ever let them know, but I was kind of excited about the new clothes and the plan for next weekend.

Apparently next weekend, we had plans to go to L.A. Something about a new club that a few of Rose's model friends opened up. I was very impressed that Alice and Rose managed to talk Emmett and Jasper into babysitting for two weekends in a row but I was looking forward to going out too much to question it.

Since Rose and Alice got married and started their family, the three of us hadn't been out for almost two years. Sure we had dinner together and had our nights but we hadn't been to L.A. to an actual cub with dancing and drinking and men all over us for two years.

I needed this. I needed a night out with them to forget about the man living next to me that had my heart and mind all fucked up. I could definitely use a night out.

In the couple of times I spoke to Edward this weekend, he never brought up our conversation at work on Friday – you remember when he asked me what was bother me and I conveniently didn't answer him. Yeah that one.

Unfortunately, I was pretty sure Monday at the office, I wouldn't be lucky enough to escape the questioning…especially after my appearing in a towel in front of him.

Yeah definitely not a smart move on my part Saturday evening.

Worrying about Monday, kept me up awake Sunday night. And lucky me, I was called into the hospital at 4 a.m. to delivery a baby. From there, I went straight to the office expecting it to be empty. Expecting to be able to think a little. Try, yet again, to get my thoughts and feelings and what I know is right and what is wrong all aligned.

It was not.

"Edward?" I asked when I saw the light on in his office. It was still two hours before the office opened and his first appointment so I was more than baffled as to why he was in.

"Bella?" He asked seeming just as confused as I was. "Why are you here so early?"

"I had a delivery call this morning. What is your excuse?"

"Oh…well…um…Lilly had to be at school early this morning because her class is putting on a show for the parents. Practice was this morning. After I dropped her off, I decided to just come on over to the office see if there was anything I could do before we opened."

"I see." I said leading into a slightly awkward silence. "So how was the rest of your weekend?"

"Good…had the boys over for a cookout on Sunday while you girls were out shopping. Speaking of shopping, how'd that go for you?"

"Fine?" I said questionably.

"Jazz and Em told me the girls are impossible when it comes to shopping. With the stories they told me, I'm surprised you survived."

"I can keep up with them better than you know." I winked then walked out of his office and to mine before the conversation could go on.

Still worried he would ask me again what was wrong last week, I tried my best to avoid him all day.

As it turned out, I didn't have to try because he did it for me.

Edward was avoiding me like the plague.

And it was absolutely driving me crazy! He went from caring on Friday, to eye-fucking me on Saturday, to completely ignoring me on Monday.

So aggravating! So frustrating! So….

Why do I let that stupid man under my skin?

**EPOV**

I slipped up Saturday evening. No denying that. It seems whenever she is around I can't control my self. I damn well knew I shouldn't tempt it, but nope…I had to go and try to get her flustered.

Yeah, that totally backfired, didn't it? The only person leaving that doorstep flustered was me.

"Jazz, man, I'm so fucked."

"What'd ya do now?" He laughed.

"Is Alice there?"

"Um yeah but she just got a phone call and went in the other room."

"Just curious because you're so gonna yell at me when I tell what I just did." I said then took a deep breath and – painfully – replayed the incident to him.

"What the hell Edward? We told you to stay away from her for a whole week. Is that really too difficult for your dumb ass to do?"

"You try to behave yourself when the woman of your dreams answers her fucking door in nothing but a short towel. What the hell was I supposed to do?"

"Act like she was fully clothed. The whole point of this week was to make her think you weren't interested! Make her want you to want her. Not pitch a damn tent in front of her."

"But she was in a towel." I whined and then realized I was whining. "Holy hell…" I groaned.

"Yeah you're whining like an idiot. Look, I understand she was in towel…I can only imagine. I've seen Bella in a bikini and I can _definitely_ understand why you…" He said and I could just tell he was picturing my Bella in her towel. A sight that was for only me to see.

I growled at him. I truly growled at the person I had started calling my best friend because he was picturing a woman who I had no claim to.

"Sorry." I said only to hear Jasper laughing at me. "Go ahead laugh it up."

"Man…I can't believe you just did that. Anyways…yeah you fucked up today, but tomorrow when Em and I are over there we'll go over the plan – again – and figure out what your next step will be."

"Yeah okay." I said then hung up.

Sunday the boys and I spent the day cooking out and spending time with the kids. We chatted a little bit about the "New Plan", which I can honestly say I wasn't too thrilled about.

They want me to all but ignore Bella all week. They want my only interactions with her to be limited to work only.

Yeah…piece of cake.

Monday morning I had to have Lilly at school early so I headed over to work right afterwards, getting me there about two hours before I typically arrived. I was hoping to have some quiet private time to collect my thoughts and get my shit together before having to face Bella.

Even though I knew what I had to do, I also knew it would be next to impossible to see her today and not picture her in only a towel – or completely naked.

And they wanted me to ignore her.

That's hard to do when the person you're trying to ignore walks into your office and starts a conversation.

However, it's easier when she's obviously trying to ignore me as well.

It was like that all week again. She was ignoring me just as much as I was ignoring her.

It pissed me off. _I_ was supposed to be ignoring _her_.

Thank God us guys are going out this weekend. I need to get out. I need to let loose and have a good time with the boys. It will be great to not let Bella enter my mind for an evening…or at least I'm hoping I can get through an evening without Bella in the forefront of my mind.

Although I highly doubt any other thought would be as wonderful as any thought containing Bella.

"Hey Em, so what's the plan here? You said something about a new club in L.A., right?"

"Yeah man. We're taking my car down there and I've got us a room for the night in a hotel a block away so we don't have to worry about driving home tonight."

"Great plan. I sure as hell don't plan on staying sober enough to drive." Jasper said as we hung around my place waiting to leave for L.A.

"Yeah, I'm definitely planning on drinking her off my mind. This week was torture not talking to her." I said.

I watched Jasper glance slyly to Emmett but didn't say anything.

"What was that look for?" I asked.

"Nothing…we're just surprised you made it through the whole week without giving in."

"Ain't gonna lie…it was tough." I laughed as I sipped my pre-drink beer.

"Yeah well let's forget about this past week and just go have some fun. Maybe you'll find yourself a nice looking piece to go home with tonight." Jasper said slapping me on my back.

"I don't want a piece to go home with unless she's five foot four inches, long brown hair, big beautiful brown eyes, with perfect curves that just…"

"Okay okay…we get it. Unless it's Bella you want nothing to do with it." Emmett laughed as we headed out the door.

"So where'd the girls go to tonight?" I asked as we drove down the highway.

"Um…uh…" Emmett started.

"Some club…not real sure what the name is. Ali told me but I forget." Jasper finished.

"Who cares anyways? Let's have some fun tonight and enjoy the scenery." Emmett laughed.

After checking in to our hotel we walked down to the club.

_Club Aria_ – apparently the grand opening was tonight and the line around the block to get in confirmed the hype of the new club. I was pretty sure we'd be in line for the whole evening, but Emmett led us right past the end of the line and up to the velvet ropes guarded by a man bigger than Emmett.

"McCarty." Emmett said.

"Um…assuming…"

"Emmett McCarty."

"Oh yes sir, here you are. Welcome to _Aria_. Enjoy." He said as he stepped aside and let us through the ropes.

The club was amazing. Two stories tall with the dance floor in the middle and open to the 2nd floor. The second floor was entirely VIP private rooms with banisters overlooking the floor. A bar on the second floor for only VIP parties. On the first floor there was an additional two bars. A wall lined with couches and random tables scattered around. The décor screamed fashion. Everything was in dark reds, purples, and gold. The DJ was spinning songs that I didn't know but they were easy to dance to but all I wanted was a drink.

"Heading to the bar for the first round, you two wanna join or find a place we can scope the place out?"

"Bar then a place." They both answered still looking around the club.

"Sounds good to me." I said then we headed that way to grab our first of many, many rounds.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Your reviews are my drug! I look forward to reading them every time I post a new chapter! You guys are wonderful! Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday weekend (if you're in America that is). I'm here in Indianapolis so it's a party from Friday morning until well after the race ends. I'm surprised I was able to get this chapter to you today honestly, but it was a very easy chapter to write. **

**Enjoy! :-) **

* * *

_Chapter 11_

**BPOV**

"So how are you girls liking the club?" One of Rose's friends asked while we sat in the VIP section that was reserved for us and watched the dance floor below.

"It's a great club Mona!" Rose enthused.

"Not to mention the eye candy tonight is amazing. " I said as I sipped my third…or fifth vodka.

"Oh honey you have no idea. There's this one group of guys that keeps coming up to the bar….and let me tell you…_damn_." She said fanning herself. "There was this one…I swear he's perfect. His hair was just, like a bronze color and the way he was dressed screamed money and high class."

_Bronze hair…mmmm….Edward…._no damn-it_. I will not think about him tonight._ I chastised myself.

I'm definitely in trouble when someone just mentions his hair color and I get lost in the images of him. Images of him shirtless, sweaty…ah hell even in his jeans that are snug in all the right places showing off his very nice ass and exactly how he reacts to me….

_Shit…_

"Must be gay." Alice laughed nervously.

"Probably. My luck I'm sure he is or an asshole." I said.

"His two friends weren't bad either but I'm pretty sure I saw wedding rings on them. Maybe they're just trying to get their friend laid for the night." She laughed. "I gotta go, but I'll catch up in a few. You should mingle." She said but mostly towards me.

And I suppose she's probably right. I mean here I am at a club in L.A. with a ton of hot men around and I'm sitting here not doing anything besides drinking and looking at them and thinking of _him_.

I'm supposed to be out trying to find someone to get my mind off of him for the night. Instead I'm sitting here and comparing every guy I see to him.

This can't be healthy.

"Hey baby…" I heard someone purr in my ear.

"My name is not baby…does this look like the set of_ Dirty Dancing _to you?" I said as I turned around to face the smooth talker.

"Okay so what should I call you?" He asked with a smirk. He wasn't bad looking…relatively tall, blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail at the base of his neck, bright blue eyes. He looked relatively harmless but something about him just screamed danger….oh well…

"You can call me Marie." I said giving a sly glance over to Rose and Alice who were sitting there watching me very intently.

"Hmmm…well I suppose it will do even though I know it's not your real name." He laughed.

"What makes you think that?" I smirked back.

"Just a hunch." He said as he handed me a new drink. "I guessed vodka. Grey Goose probably, right?"

"You are good."

"You have no idea." He winked. "So _Marie_ would you like to dance?"

I looked back over to my girls who just shrugged their shoulders but small smiles.

"Sure…." I said looking for a name.

"James. And that is my real name." He said as he offered me his hand. I took it and followed him down to the dance floor. Once he found a place on the floor that he was happy with he stopped walking and wrapped his arms around my waist turning my back to his chest.

"So what's a woman like you doing here alone?" He whispered into my ear.

"I'm not alone. I'm here with my friends." I said avoiding his actual question.

"You know that's not what I meant. Is there a jealous boyfriend I should be worried about?"

"Nope." I smiled then shoved my ass into him and laughed when I heard him grunt in response.

"Careful sweetcheeks…you don't want to get that game started."

His tone told me I should take that more seriously than he made it sound, but I was no longer in control of my actions. The vodka was. The vodka was making all my decisions.

The vodka made me stay on the dance floor with James for three more songs.

"So you wanna ditch this place?" James asked me.

The vodka made me turn to face him.

"Hmm…I don't think I should leave my friends."

The vodka made me wrap my arms around his neck.

"Aw come on sexy…they're big girls than can take care of themselves."

The vodka made me lean up on the tips of my toes.

"I don't think they'd like me leaving very much though."

The vodka made me kiss him…

Well almost kiss him.

"Okay that's fucking enough." An angry growl came from the side of me as I was jerked backwards away from my dance partner.

"What the fuck!" I yelled as I was pulled behind a tall wall…a wall shaped like a man – a _very_ familiar man.

**EPOV**

When I first saw her, I couldn't believe it was her. She looked…well hell she looked damn hot. She was wearing very tight, very low jeans with a dark blue halter top that showed off her tits and made them look absolutely delectable. Hell everything about her tonight was luscious.

She had her long brown hair down for a change and the way it hung down her back led my eyes right to her perfect ass.

Her ass that was currently walking to the dance floor with some random guy.

"What the hell." I said out loud as I watched her follow him.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Bella's here and she's walking to the dance floor with some asshole."

"Oh…huh…wouldn't ya know. What a coincidence" Emmett said flippantly.

I was not drunk yet and I definitely caught the look Emmett gave to Jasper and if it wasn't for the fact that Bella was currently grinding up on some stranger, I might have called them out on their obvious bullshit.

But all I could concentrate on was the fact that the guy was now whispering in my Bella's ear and she was laughing.

And totally shoving her ass into his dick.

For four songs I watched them dance. I watched as he got more comfortable with letting his hands roam. I watched as Bella clearly got foggier and more out of it.

_How much had she had to drink anyways?_

"Where the hell are your women? They're supposed to be watching her. She's clearly drunk and this fuckhead is taking advantage of that…."

"I dunno bro, looks like she's enjoying herself though." Emmett said.

"Because she's too drunk to know that she shouldn't."

"Why shouldn't she?" Jasper asked.

"Because he's…he's…he's bad news. He's got trouble written all over him." I finally said.

"She's single." They both shrugged.

"You told me to stay the fuck away from her!" I yelled.

"We told you to this week at work. Are we at work?" Emmett said with a grin.

"Hell no we're not." I said right as I watched her turn around to face her dance partner and before I knew what I was doing I was on my feet and on my way over to their position on the dance floor.

I think I heard Jasper yell after me something about not doing anything ridiculous and pissing her off.

But I didn't have time to really process my next move before I reached her. So yanking her away from him was probably not on the list of Jasper approved approaches, but that's what I did.

"What the hell man." The asshole said as I pulled Bella away before she kissed him.

"God damn-it Cullen. What the…wait what are you doing here?" Bella asked from behind me. I ignored her question because dickface was stepping closer to me and looking more than a little pissed.

"Step off." I all but growled.

"No way in hell…she's mine for the night."

"I don't think so buddy. She's not going anywhere with you tonight…or ever."

"What if I want to?" Bella said from me behind me. The words out of her mouth took me by surprise and I whipped around to face her.

It took me all of two seconds to see how drunk she was and that she didn't really want to go home with him she was just being stubborn because of me.

"No you don't." I said.

"You can't make decisions for me Cullen. You have no right to. You gave that right up back in college when after you fucked me you treated me like just another one of your cheap ass fucking whores instead of one of your friends." She said but as soon as the words were out of her mouth her eyes got wide and her hands flew to cover her mouth.

Apparently she didn't want to tell me how she felt back then.

But she's right I did those things to her, however; now's not the time to discuss that. We would be discussing it though.

My attention went from the shocked looking beautiful woman in front of me to the asshole behind me who was now laughing.

"What the fuck do you find so funny?" I asked him.

"Dude…are you fucking stupid? You had a chance to hit this fine piece of ass more than once and you fucked it up? Are you gay or something?" He said though his laughter.

Yeah so I fucked up 10 years ago.

I'm planning on making it right and I'm starting now.

"Yeah I'm stupid. I made a huge mistake ten years ago. I let something amazing slip right through my fingers but I'm not letting it happen again. She is not going home with you and in fact she's leaving this club with me right now."

"No I'm not." Bella said defiantly.

"Yes you are." I said.

"Hell no man…" The ponytail fag said grabbing my arm. Without thinking I turned and punched him square in his jaw. I heard my knuckles crack over the music.

And then I became very aware of the fact that I just threw a punch in the middle of a very crowded club.

"We're leaving."

"I told you…" Bella said but was cut off by me picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder. "Edward Anthony Cullen…listen you fucking asshole, you put me down right this second before I…before I…"

"Before you what Bella?" I laughed as I stepped out the front door of the club and headed towards the hotel.

She couldn't do anything and she knew it but that didn't stop her from yelling at me as I walked the block to the hotel. I only half listened to her ranting because all I could really process was that I had just punched some guy for dancing with and almost kissing a girl that I have no claim on.

A woman who just admitted to the reason why our friendship fell apart in college. I mean, yeah I suspected that to be the reason, but to actually hear it from her – it stung. She truly thought I only saw her as just another notch on my bedpost.

I wanted nothing more than to explain everything to her and even though I would have a chance to clear the air tonight. She was bound to be way too pissed at me and still too drunk to have that conversation with her.

Instead I would have to let her continue to think that she's right in her assumption about that night in college.

The conversation we would be having once we got back to my hotel room would be why I carried her out of the club like a territorial caveman.

I already know my reasoning will not go over well with her.

"Why are we in the lobby of a hotel?" Bella asked when I walked inside.

"Because you typically have to walk through one to get to your room."

"But I don't have a room." She said with absolutely no hint of anger in her voice anymore, but definitely sounding drunk.

"No you don't but I do…" I said as I stepped into the elevator. Once the doors closed and I knew she wasn't going anywhere I set her down on her feet.

The sight I was greeted with was amazing.

Bella's face was flushed from me carrying her over my shoulder, her hair was wild from the wind, and she had her arms crossed over her chest effectively pushing her cleavage up even more than it already was.

"What made you think bringing me back to a hotel room was a good idea?" She said narrowing her eyes.

"It was the best of the options at the time because I sure as hell wasn't going to let you go anywhere with ponytail boy and I had no idea where Rose and Alice were."

"Humph….well….I hope you don't think just because we're in a hotel you're gonna get lucky because there is no way in hell that's ever going to happen – _again_." She said.

"The thought never crossed my mind." I said giving her a crooked little smile.

"Oh I'm not good enough for you anymore?" She asked uncrossing her arms and moving her hands to her hips.

What the hell just happened?

"Um…that's not…of course the thought has…it's just tonight isn't…" I stumbled looking for the right thing to say.

"Relax. Jesus Edward." She laughed and then stepped off the elevator when the doors opened. "What room?"

"517." I answered then followed behind her as we walked to the room.

After opening the door and letting her walk in, I remembered one thing.

"Only one bed?" Bella asked raising an eyebrow at me. "Where were Em and Jazz sleeping?"

"They have their own room. Something about making it easier for me if I were to want to take someone back to the room…" I said then it clicked. It all made sense.

They did this on purpose.

"I hate them." Bella laughed.

"I take it you figured it out too?" I said.

"Yep and they're getting an ear full tomorrow that's for damn sure."

"Oh it's not that bad." I said.

Bella looked at me from the corner of her eye then sighed and sat cross legged in the middle of the bed.

"Look Edward about tonight…"

"Can we not talk it about right now? I don't want to have the conversation when you're even slightly drunk…." I said then held up a finger when it looked like she was going to interrupt. "You are drunk don't even try to lie. I have a lot I need to say to you…"

"I have a lot I need to say to you too."

"Okay but let's not do it tonight. It can all wait, right?"

"Yes it can wait." She nodded.

"Good…I'll sleep on the couch. You can have the bed." I said as I dug into my suitcase to find something for her to sleep in. "Here are some sweats and a t-shirt you can wear…those jeans are way to tight to be comfortable enough to sleep in."

"Thank you." She said blushing as she took my clothes from me and disappeared in the bathroom.

We would definitely be discussing everything in the morning. That I was sure of. I need to let her know that I didn't mean for everything to happen the way it happened.

Could I make up for the past? Could I make her see that I wanted her now…that I did want her then but was too stupid to realize it? Or would she never forgive me and would I always only have her in my life as friend?

It's not like I couldn't handle being just her friend. I could totally do that…would it suck? Fuck yeah it would, but if that's what she wants, then that's what she'll get from me.

Having her in any capacity is better than not at all.

What's that saying? You never know what you've got until it's gone? Yeah that's the one. I never knew how true it was until she came back into my life. I always felt like my life was missing something but I had the job, the wife, the daughter so I figured I was just weird.

I figured out what I was always missing when Bella walked into Seth's office.

I was missing her.

I understand that all now. And of course it's probably too late.

"Edward?" Bella's voice interrupted my inner thoughts. I looked up to where the sound came from and went blank.

She looked perfect. She had to roll my pants a few times at the waist to get them to fit her right and the t-shirt was miles too large so she had tied it in back to fit snugger revealing a sliver of her creamy white skin. Her hair was still down but she had swept it all to one.

Yes she looked absolutely perfect.

"Edward?" She asked again.

"Huh?" I managed.

"I said thank you." She laughed.

"Oh no problem. I've got plenty of clothes…"

"Not for that." She said then looked down at her feet.

"For what then?"

"For tonight. For not letting me do anything with James."

So the asshole has a name now. _Great_.

"There was no way I was going to let you kiss him and I certainly wasn't going to let you go home with him."

"Why though?" She asked as she crawled into bed.

Yep…there's the why question.

"Because he looked like trouble." I answered honestly…not the whole truth mind you but I did not lie.

"Is that the only reason?"

"Um…not the whole reason." I said but didn't offer anymore. She just sat there looking at me expectantly. Waiting. "He didn't deserve you Bella. Nobody in that club tonight was good enough for you."

There I didn't lie again.

"Nobody?" She whispered.

"Nobody." I responded again.

"I see." She sighed. "Good night Edward." She said then turned off the light next to the bed.

"Good night, love." I whispered back then settled down on to the couch for what was promising to be the worst night's sleep in the history of the world.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Here's the talk that everyone's been wanting! It's not a long chapter but I think you'll enjoy! :) **

* * *

_Chapter 12_

**BPOV**

Worst sleep ever. I don't think I've slept more restlessly in my entire life. I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened at the club. Not just Edward swooping in and saving me from doing something stupid, but the fact that I so ineloquently spilled how I felt about what happened ten year ago.

He knows now why I was hurt. He knows everything…

Well not everything. He doesn't know how I was madder at myself in college than him. He doesn't know that I wouldn't change anything about that night. He doesn't know that I fell for him all over again that day in the hospital with Lilly.

I know we need to talk this morning, but I'm dreading it so much. I wish he would have let me talk when I was still working with some liquid courage.

Now all I'm working with is a raging headache and the nasty club smell…with no way to shower and no medicine.

_Unless the hotel has a shop…_

With that thought I headed out the door quietly so not to wake Edward and went down to the lobby. I was sure I looked a mess but I seriously couldn't have cared less. I just needed a way to brush my teeth, my hair, and some serious headache medicine.

"Excuse me, do you have a store or anything that would sell travel items?" I asked the clerk behind the counter. After thoroughly checking me and earning a not so subtle glare from me, he pointed the store out to me. "Thanks pig." I said under my breath then walked away.

In this store I found everything I needed, including a pair of shorts and t-shirt which I was not expecting but was grateful for anyways. It's not like Edward's clothes weren't comfortable, in fact I really didn't wan to take them off, but I couldn't very well go out in public wearing clothes ten times too big for me.

It took me longer down in the lobby then I expected and when I got back to the room, I walked in to find Edward standing in the middle of the room in only boxer-briefs.

Only after I was finally able to take my eyes off his body did I notice how frazzled he looked. As soon as our eyes met though he took a deep breath and sat down on the end of the bed.

"Are you okay Edward?" I asked.

"Yeah…" He sighed running his fingers through his already more than usual messy hair. "It's just…when…I thought you had left me…left without talking. I thought you were mad or something and…"

"I am not leaving this hotel until we talk. That's a promise. I needed bathroom items and headache medicine. I got some clothes too." I smiled. "I'm gonna hop in the shower real quick. When I get out…you wanna get breakfast and talk?" I smiled at him.

I was rewarded with a brilliant smile in return and a nod of his head in return.

"Okay. Be back in a minute." I said then walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind before letting the image of Edward in his underwear attack my mind.

The conversation we were going to have this morning was going to be hard enough without picturing him practically gloriously naked.

When I got done and stepped out of the bathroom, Edward was already dressed and sitting on the bed watching ESPN waiting.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Yep. Just want to eat at the restaurant in the hotel?"

"Yeah that's fine. How long do you think we have until the other four wake up?"

"An hour or so probably." He shrugged then mumbled something else that sounded almost like 'not fucking long enough', but I couldn't be for sure so I acted like I didn't hear anything and kept walking out the door.

Once we were seated at in the restaurant, an awkward silence took over. I know I should not have been nervous, but I was definitely nervous. Food suddenly didn't even should all that great.

I still hadn't been able to figure out exactly what I was going to say to him. How much was I going to tell him? Were we only going to discuss the past or would the present be brought up into the conversation?

I'm not prepared for him to tell me he's always only wanted me as a friend. I'm almost positive that if he goes that far with the conversation today, I'll break down. I can't handle exposing my feelings and having him tell me I'm not what he wants.

_I'll beat him to the punch. I'll tell him I only want to be friends first. Yeah…._

With my little pep talk I started. Unfortunately he started at the exact same moment.

"Um…you go first." Edward said giving me a half smile.

"Okay…first you have to know that in college I was upset with how things happened, but I was not angry with you…"

"Then why…"

"Because I was mad at myself. I was mad because I knew better than to fall into bed with you. I knew, probably better than anyone else, your _pattern_. I knew somewhere in my mind that you would just treat me like all the others. I let my heart tell me that I would be different because we were friends. I understand now that I should have just talked to you about it in college, but I was afraid. I was embarrassed that I let it happen…I'm not anymore and I certainly don't regret it…except that it's made things awkward between us as adults." I said quickly then took a deep breath. "I really just want you to know how I felt that night…I need you to know how it felt."

"I think I know..."

"You know how it feels to be used? You know how it feels to be betrayed by someone you cared for and considered a friend? You know how it feels to have to tell _yourself_ 'told you so'? You know how it feels to not be able to talk to your best friend because you're embarrassed you let yourself fall for them and they didn't return the feelings – not even a little bit? When things started that night, I was in the mindset that it would only be a one night thing, but then when it was over you actually held me. That's what broke me. You didn't run off immediately, you stayed. But then you became distant almost as soon as I let my guard drop and you became the Edward I knew deep down you were. You became the man only out for a quick piece of ass…no matter who it hurt in the process…"

"Bella…you need to know something…"

"No…" I said trying desperately to keep myself in check and not lose it in the restaurant.

"Yes. It's my turn and I have a lot more to say." He said then took a deep breath before looking straight into my eyes. "Bella, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let this go on for too long. I'm sorry for the way I acted in college. I'm sorry for not making you tell me what was wrong. I'm sorry for what I said to you. There is no excuse for my behavior. All I can tell you is that after it happened, I panicked. I had never felt the way I was feeling while holding you so close. I had no idea what to do. I had no idea what it meant. I'm sorry for not loving you in college…or at least not admitting that I did. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to admit what was truly in my heart. I wasn't ready for anything more and I knew you would be all or nothing. If I could go back and change it all, I would. I would change everything except us making love. I will never be sorry for that and I will never be sorry for loving you now."

_Wait what?_

"Edward?" I choked out.

I was not prepared for that. I was prepared for him doing the whole 'just friends' speech. I wasn't expecting a confession of love…_what the hell do I do now?_ Do I tell him how I feel? Am I ready for him to know? Is a relationship with Edward what I want?

Of course it's what I _want_ but is it what I _need_? Is it the right thing to do?

Does he really mean it or is he just reaching out to someone familiar and close?

What will happen when Seth comes home and Edward goes back to L.A.?

"Bella I know you don't return the feelings and I'm okay with that. I understand that what I did is probably unforgivable and I won't blame if you hate me, but I had to let you know. I had to let you know how I feel about you. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I'm aware this will probably make things awkward for us and if you can't work with me anymore, I understand. I'll even understand if you don't feel like we can be friends anymore…but please don't tell me we can't be friends anymore…I need you in my life someway or another. I can't be without you…again. Please Bella, not shut me out again." He pleaded with me.

This is too much information to process. He thinks I don't care for him? He think I hate him? I just told him I wasn't mad at him for what happened between us? I all but drool over him every time I see him and he thinks I don't return his feelings in even the slightest bit?

_Not the point right now, Swan…_

I have absolutely no idea what to say to him. I think I believe him. I think what he's saying is how he truly feels…but what if it's not and I get hurt again? What if I let someone back in and I get hurt?

"Edward…I just…I need time to process everything."

"Time? I've got a lot of that." He said with a half-smile as a booming voice from across the restaurant interrupted us.

"There they are!" Emmett shouted.

"Oh good…I can yell at them now." I said smiling and taking the opportunity to change the subject. Edward chuckled a little as he nodded his head, whether agreeing with me about yelling at them or if he knew what I was doing with the subject change. "Watch and learn." I whispered.

"Emmett Michael McCarty! Jasper Thomas Whitlock! Get your asses over here, I've got a bone to pick with you two." I said and watched as they both hung their heads then shuffled quietly over to where Edward and I were sitting. They both looked like they had just gotten caught with their hands in the cookie jar right before dinner.

It was all I could do to keep a straight face.

"Impressive." Edward whispered.

"Bells…let us explain please." Jasper said.

"Let me guess…Ali and Rose were the masterminds and told you that you had to assist?"

The both nodded their heads furiously

"I figured this much. You two are not that devious to set Edward and I up at a club and somehow manage to set it up so I would end up in his room last night."

"That wasn't part of the plan, honestly." Emmett said.

"Bella! What are you wearing?" Alice yelled from across the room as she and Rose walked in.

"The only thing I could find…I certainly wasn't wearing the club outfit again today and I wouldn't walk around all day in Edward's clothes. I don't have anything here…remember?" I said then noticed they both had fresh clothes on and their hair and makeup was perfect. "You packed us clothes?"

"Yep! Your stuff is in the room we got last night. We weren't expecting you to go back to Edward's room…" Rose said narrowing her eyes at me.

"I wasn't expecting it either. Nothing happened. He slept on the couch. I slept on the bed." I said then tapped my chin eyeing all four of our friends. "What exactly was the plan last night?"

"Well…basically the plan was to get you and Edward at the same club. Make him insanely jealous and want you so bad he couldn't stand it anymore then you were _suppose_ to stick with our original plan and not let him have what he wanted. You were suppose to come find us after Edward's caveman exploits and we were supposed to leave the club and come back to this very hotel. We just needed Edward to realize how much he really needed you and you needed to make him beg for it. Ya know?"

"No. That's the stupid thing I've ever heard." Edward said crossing his arms over his chest.

"He's right. Look...we talked this morning. We're…" I said trailing off looking for the right word. I looked up at Edward's face and saw his bright green eyes sparkling at me and I couldn't help but smile. "We're okay now."

And then there was a squeal from Alice, an 'about fucking time' from Rose, and a couple of 'hell yeah' from the boys.

"We're not together. But we've gotten everything out in the open." Edward corrected their assumptions.

"What the fuck do you mean you're not together? He likes you, you…" Rose started.

"I don't know what I want." I interrupted her before she could say anymore. Unfortunately Jasper at least caught what she was going to say. No one else seemed to be paying much attention to her.

"Well…this was definitely a weekend for the record books." Emmett laughed.

"Yeah…and I'd love to sit around and chat about it all…again in detail, but we need to get back home. I'm on call again and I'm sure Maria is about to go crazy with all the kids she's watching." I said smiling with the thought of the kids and just how the whole weekend played out.

I went to L.A. thinking I would get my mind off a man who hurt me in the past but yet somehow I couldn't get out of my heart.

Instead I end the weekend with that man pledging his love and wanting to be with me.

And I'm afraid to do anything about it. I'm scared shitless to get hurt by him again…and yet i want nothing more than to be with him.

My heart is torn in two very different directions.

One part of me wants to avoid all pain.

The other part wants me to throw caution to the wind and risk going through the pain all over again…only possibly worse pain this time.

I'm never gonna be able to sort through this fucking mess.

I liked it better when I thought I would be dealing with him _not_ returning my feelings.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: - Sorry for the delay! I know it's a week later than I typically post but we had a girl walk out on us at work so I've been crazy these past couple of weeks...plus I finally got internat at the house and then there was a problem with it. Yeah fabulous I know. But it's all fixed now and I expect to be back on track to one posting a week. **

**As always your reviews are great...I love knowing what my readers are thinking. :-) Oh...one more thing...I tried to proof read this one, but I wanted to get it posted as quickly as possible so if it's a little rough around the edges, I apologize for it now. **

* * *

_Chapter 13_

**BPOV**

"Hey Rose…" I said when she answered her phone. I tried to sound cheerful and happy…not pissed off and stressed to the ends of my sanity. We had all gotten back from L.A. about three hours ago and I have been trying to control my temper ever since then. I have successfully kept my mouth shut and opinions to myself back in L.A. but only because I didn't want to go off on them in front of the guys.

But now…now I'm planning on telling them exactly how I feel about what they did.

"What's wrong?"

I should have known better than to think I could hide anything from her or Alice.

"Um…nothing. Can you come over?"

"Sure let me just make sure Em can watch Ness…Vanessa for me." She said slipping up calling her daughter the obnoxious nickname she had yelled at him about just a month earlier. "Stop your fucking laughing Swan. I can't help it…it's growing on me."

"Whatever…see ya in a few." I said then hung up. I decided the best option with contacting Alice would be a text as oppose to calling her. She would see right through me in less time than Rose and unlike Rose, Alice would not shut-up about it until I lost my hold on what little sanity I still possessed and completely ripped her a new asshole right over the phone.

_911 – meet at my house in 5_ _– B_

Not surprised at all to receive her response almost instantly.

_K…evrythng ok? – A_

Really? Did she really just ask if everything was okay? Who calls a 911 meeting with her best friends for the hell of it?

_Stupid question…just called a 911 meeting. Here in 5 – B_

I no sooner hit send on the last one when Rose came barreling into my kitchen.

"What the hell is going on?" Rose demanded.

"Living room now. We'll wait until Ali gets here. I have a few bones to pick with you two girls." I said glaring at her. Rose's eyes got wide for a brief second before she narrowed them again.

"Listen here Swan…what we did was for…" Rose said as she sat down on the couch.

"For my own good? Yeah so you think. We'll be discussing this in detail once Alice gets here."

"I'm here…what's wron…" Alice yelled as she ran in the front door and around to the living room. She stopped in her tracks when she took in my stance, arms crossed over my chest and glare, and then Rose's facial expression. "Oh…"

"Yeah, oh. Sit your pixie ass down. We've got some things to talk about." I said as I motioned for Alice to sit down next to Rose on the couch.

"Bells…we…" Alice started.

"Let me talk first please." I said then took a deep breath. "Okay here's the deal…I know you both thought I wasn't mad at you for what you did this weekend but I am. You had no right to do that. I can't even begin to imagine what you were thinking when you thought it would be a good idea set us up like that."

"We didn't set that up…" Alice said and I just cocked an eyebrow at her. "Okay well…we set up the whole club thing."

"We only planned to get you two at the same club the rest of what happened was completely unplanned." Rose said.

"Not so unplanned that you didn't forget to pack me clothes for the next morning."

"We were planning on staying…" Rose started.

"But weren't planning on tell me that we were planning on staying? I had no idea. I thought we were going to the club to help get my mind off of Edward…have a few to drink and then drive home. Instead I ended up trashed, thrown over _Edward's_ shoulder, _and_ passed out in his hotel bed. What the fuck you guys? I ended up in the one guy's bed who I wanted to forget about! And now everything's more fucked up than it was just last week!" I huffed as I started pacing the room.

"We really are sorry. We didn't expect all of that to happen. All we wanted was for you two to see each other at the club. You were supposed to realize that no matter what you did, he was always going to be the one you wanted and he was supposed to realize the same thing." Alice said.

"Well shit…I guess in your own little crazy ways…you succeeded." I sighed then sat down on the floor in front of the girls.

"What the hell happened in that hotel room?" Rose asked.

"Nothing happened…we didn't do anything except talk and even then that wasn't until we got up this morning."

"What did you talk about?" Alice prodded.

"God…I'm so freaking confused! I don't want to want him and he wasn't supposed to want me…it made everything so much easier when I thought he didn't return the feelings! He wasn't supposed to…" I said finally sobbing; all fight towards the girls gone.

"Honey?" They both said as they sat down next to me on the floor.

"I told him how I felt in college and why I cut him out of my life. I told him everything except how I like him and I want to be with him."

"Why didn't you tell him that you care for him now?" Rose asked.

"Because I didn't think he returned the feelings and I don't know if I want to be with him…I mean I want to…I mean I don't know…what if he's lying to me and he's just turning to me because I'm familiar and I'm close. What if it's just like college again and he gets what he wants from me and leaves…"

"What are you saying? Are you saying that he told you that he…" Alice trailed off waiting for me to finish.

"He told me…that he was s…sorry for how he…he acted in college. And that he…loved me…me then and that…he loves me…now." I sobbed.

"What? He said what? That's great…wonderful even. Why are you crying?" Rose said.

"Don't you understand? I don't want to want him. I don't want him to want me. Everything was so much easier when I thought it was a one way street here. I could deal with lo…liking him and not having him return the feelings. I've been dealing with rejection for ten years. It's something I know how to deal with. But…but…"

"Get a grip woman!" Alice laughed.

"Wow…you're afraid of commitment and getting hurt." Rose said.

"Fuck yeah I am! Where the hell have you been these past seven or so years? Of course I'm afraid of commitment and getting hurt…especially by the only man I've ever truly loved…."

And now I had officially admitted it.

I mean I had sort of told them that I cared for him and that I wasn't over him and what happened in college, but I had yet to actually come out and tell them that I still loved him…hell I still hadn't totally admitted it to myself until just now.

"Shit…." I whispered.

"Yeah shit. So you love him. Always loved him. That explains why everyone you ever dated since then hasn't been good enough for you…lord knows no one can compare to Mr. Perfect Doctor Edward." Alice laughed.

"This isn't funny. What the hell am I going to do about this situation?" I said annoyed with my so called friends.

"It's really quite a simple solution." Rose said.

"What? Move far far away and try to forget about him."

"You already know you can't forget about him. You tried that."

"And then I tried again and ended up in his hotel room. It's only a matter of time before I end up in his bed again and it won't be alone. I don't have the will power…"

"Then quit fighting it!" Alice said. "Why can't you just realize that you two are meant to be together? Fate brought you two together in college. Fate brought you two back together again now. Why can't _you understand_ what's happening here?"

"Alice is right. A gorgeous man has just professed his love for you and you're running scared because of his idiotic past. He's grown up. It's been ten years for crying out loud Isabella! He's matured. He's a father now. A great father at that. He's a great man and he loves you."

"Quite being a pussy and go get your man."

"I just don't know you guys. What if I do change my mind and let him in again and then he decides he doesn't love me? What do I do then? Huh? Sit there and suffer again? Suffer while the man I love goes off and fucks every other girl on campus…"

"This isn't college Bella! Jesus Christ! Just think about everything. Really think about it." Alice said as she stood up.

"Oh sweet beautiful Bella…can't you see the great happiness that you could have with him? You deserve that happiness. More than anyone else I know. I love you Bella." Rose said as she grasped my hand. She gave me a sad smile then stood up.

As I watched Rose and Alice walk out of my house, I broke down into heavy sobs. I couldn't even catch my breath.

What was I going to do?

I knew I couldn't cut him out of my life again. There was no way I'd survive that. But in what capacity do I want him in my life?

I love the stupid asshole. As much as I don't want to, I do. And as much as I think he's crazy and lying, he says he loves me too. But is love enough?

Can I really forget the past enough to be in a healthy relationship with him and no go every day worrying that it will be the day when he realizes I'm not what he really wants and he's not ready to be tied down.

What if after this many years of being single, he realizes just after a short time with me, that he'd rather be single? What would I do if I got rejected again?

Would it all be worth it in the end? Would the brief seconds of happiness and knowing what it could be like be worth the heartache?

_Jesus…I'm such a pessimist when it comes love_.

What if it works out and he's my everything and – as cheesy as this sounds – what if we live happily ever after? What if Alice is right? What if this is fate? What if we've been brought back together because we're meant to be together for forever?

He's a ready made family and minus the heinous bitch we sometimes call Tanya, it's perfect.

Perfect for me.

So why am I still not sure if admitting everything to Edward is the right way to go?

I wonder when Edward wants an answer from me…hope it's not tomorrow…

_Shit…tomorrow! What the hell am I gonna do about working with him? _

This just keeps getting more complicated. I'm beginning to think that if I were to write down my story, I'd have a number one soap opera show.

Great plot…small town girl, daughter of the chief of police, gets scholarship to medical school where she falls desperately in love with the campus playboy. Eventually falling for his charms and into his bed – he leaves her heartbroken and used. Ten years later – and some massive twists in fate – he reappears in her life as her medical partner. She scared shitless, he's in love. Can love prevail?

Ha! See…got daytime Emmy written all over it.

"Bella?" Angela greeted me when I walked into the office on Monday.

"Morning Angie." I smiled half-heartedly.

"Cheer-up buttercup. You have a special delivery." She said grinning as we walked past Jessica sitting at the front desk.

"Morning Jess." I said.

"Doctor." She nodded curtly.

"What's stuck up her ass this morning? I mean I know it's Monday but damn…" I whispered to Angela.

"I think it has something to do with your special delivery." She whispered back right as the flowers came into view.

"What…who…" I said even though I had a pretty good idea.

I hadn't seen Edward yet this morning, but I had been called into the hospital pretty early and was getting to the office about three hours later than I normally would have. He was probably already in the middle of his appointments.

"He brought them in this morning with him. Jessica thought they were for her so she was very upset when he walked past her and placed them in your office."

"I don't understand? Why would he…" I said trying to gather my thoughts.

"My first guess would be because he's smitten with you. There's a card." She said pointing out the little white envelope sitting in the middle of the lilies and white roses.

_Dearest Bella –_

_I wanted to make sure you knew I am not planning on pressuring you about what was discussed over the weekend, but I do want to make sure you understand, that everything I said was completely true. Everything I said, I meant. I'm sorry it has taken me 10 years to come clean with you about my feelings, but honestly I wasn't even sure of them myself until very recently. _

_I'll be here waiting always._

_Forever Yours – E_

"So what's it say?" Angela bounced next to me.

"It says he loves me and he'll wait until I decide what I want." I sighed then flopped down in my chair.

"So he finally told you?" She asked.

"What?"

"I've only known since day one." She laughed.

"You could have phoned a friend."

"I thought you knew." She shrugged. "Look, Bells, I know you're scared but he loves you and I know you love him too. I can just tell it. Sometimes you have to risk the pain for something amazing. If you never risk anything, you'll always live life on the sideline – and what fun is that."

"I know Ang…I just…"

"I understand. Trust me. I've been there. And I know what's going through your mind right now. Which means I also know I can sit here and try to talk some sense into you but only you can make a decision, and only when you're ready to."

"Love ya girl."

"I know." She smiled then walked out of my office and closed the door behind her.

**EPOV**

"Do you think the flowers were too much?" I asked Jasper.

"Nah dude." He shrugged as he took a long pull from the beer bottle he was holding.

"Then why hasn't she spoken to me all week?" I said and I honestly could hear myself whining.

_Its official, I've grown ovaries_.

"Fuck man…when did your balls retreat into your body and become ovaries?" Emmett laughed.

"When I admitted I loved Bella and she flat out turned me down."

"We've been over this too…she didn't turn you down. She told you she had to think about it. Huge difference Ed." Jasper laughed.

"You told her you'd wait however long she needed…so you better be prepared to wait. She's got a lot to get over." Emmett laughed.

"But it's been ten years since then…"

"And she never got over you. She's never let herself get involved with anyone else because she was still in…"

"Shut up." Jasper interrupted him.

"No…no…you gotta tell me. Are you telling me what I think…"

"Damn-it Emmett. The girls only told us what Bella said because we told them we wouldn't tell Edward."

"Right like that was smart. When have any of you ever known me to keep a secret."

"True…you couldn't even keep your own secret about surprising Rose with asking her to marry you."

"That's because _someone_ got me drunk and then asked me questions about it."

"Well if…"

"Would you two shut-up…you're trying to change the subject here. What the hell do you know?" I roared.

"Calm down…look…shit, they're gonna kill us for telling you." Jasper said.

"She loves you dude. She loved you in college and she loves you now."

And with that, I went speechless. She loves me? But if she loves me then why am I sitting here on my deck with the boys sucking down beer on a Friday night with no Bella next to me.

"Daddy?" Lilly's sweet voice came from the door before I had a chance to say anything back to the boys about their information.

"Yes sweetie?"

"There's someone here to see you."

"You answered the door?" I chided her playfully.

"Well…yeah…she doesn't look like a scary person and she's got a baby with her…"

"Wait…huh?" All three of said.

"The lady at the door. She seems nice enough and her little baby is cute…she says she's a friend of yours?"

"Edward…" Jasper all but growled under his breath.

"Uh…" I nervously said glancing at my friends then turned back to Lilly. "Did you get her name Lilly?"

"Nope! But she's in the living room waiting." She said then turned around and walked back into the house.

"Okay asshole…" Emmett said standing up out of his chair. "You better come clean really fucking quick here. You told us that…"

"And I wasn't lying! I haven't been with anyone since the last time I was with Tanya. I don't know who is in my house and whatever kid she's got with her, is not mine. I only have one child and her name is Lilly. I swear on everything I own that it's not what it seems like."

"Hmm…okay. Well let's go inside." Jasper said in his slow southern drawl as he stood up and headed in.

This was not good. I honestly have no idea who could be in my house…and what they want.

I do know that this woman better figure out quickly that I don't want anything to do with her and she better not screw things up with my Bella…

"Eddie!" She shouted as soon as I walked into the living room.

"Lauren? What are you doing here?"

"To see you of course! Silly!" She laughed then launched herself into my arms placing a big wet kiss on my cheek.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: No notes really needed for this one. **

**Just one thing to say...ENJOY!**

* * *

_Chapter 14_

**EPOV**

"Edward…_who_ is this?" Emmett asked through clenched teeth. Even though I had just told them that there was no way I was the father and that I had no idea who could be knocking on my door, the second she jumped into my arms, everything I had just said went right out the window.

"This is Lauren." I said motioning towards her. "Lauren this is Emmett and Jasper."

"Nice to meet you. So how do you two know Eddie?"

"Well…_Eddie_ here is in business with our best friend Bella…." Jasper said glaring at me.

"Oh the doctor you've got the hots for?" She grinned towards me while making her eyebrows dance around suggestively.

"Yes that would be her…and I don't just have the hots for her Lauren. We've discussed this."

"Yeah whatev." She laughed as she made herself comfortable on my couch.

"Um so why are you here Lauren?" I asked again because I damn well knew she didn't drive all the way from L.A. on a Friday night, baby in tow, just to see me.

"First things first…inquiring minds want to know what the hell is going on here? How do _you_ know Edward?" Emmett asked.

"He was sort of like my mentor back in L.A. when I was a stupid kid. I got knocked up by some asswipe who ended up leaving as soon as he found out I was expecting. My parents wanted nothing to do with me so I turned to a shelter. Eddie here happened to be volunteering the day I showed up. Told me he was helping out at a place that would help me and that they would provide discounted health care for me and my baby. He ended up basically saving my life. I owe him everything."

"You're like the sister I never had." I said trying to stress the relationship I had with Lauren. "Which also means you need or want something."

"You've got me. I just need a place to crash for the night. I'm on my way out of town to meet Brian upstate. Got a late start and I'm dead on my feet. I'll crash on the couch…no problem. Just let me sleep for a few hours and then I'll be out of you hair."

So with that, the boys left me with Lauren and her screaming kid. Luckily Lilly was all about watching Lauren's little brat – Brie or something like that. Anyways – with the boys gone my depression settled in big time.

And even more unfortunate for me, Lauren noticed.

Three hours later, I was pulling one of my shirts out of my closet to let Lauren sleep in, while I collapsed into bed.

Man that woman can talk. All I had to say was that I finally told Bella I loved her and that she didn't return the feeling. From that moment on I was stuck listening to Lauren's thoughts on the subject for three hours.

Granted she made some pretty good points. Points like I've done all I can do without scaring Bella away so I just need to be patient. And she also pointed out that unless the flowers ended up back on my door step in a million pieces that she probably really enjoyed them and the distance this past week was just her thinking everything over.

Of course she also made me feel like a complete ass for waiting so long and for fucking it up in college. Which I deserve, and will continue to deserve until I die. If Bella accepts my apology and wants to try a relationship, I will spend every day making everything up to her. If she doesn't accept my love but still wants to remain friends, I'll still try to make it up to her every day of my life. Of course at this point, I'm leaning to the third least desirable outcome of all of this – Bella will never feel comfortable around me ever again and I will lose her in my life forever.

I really hope the third option is not what is happening, although I don't think I could ever do anything to make her forget how I treated her in college. And will not be surprised when she says she can't forgive me and never wants to see me again after everything I've done to her. I still can't believe the way I treated her in college all because I was a horny little bastard afraid to look at what was right in front of my face. The worse part was that I _knew_ in college she was the settling down one. The one you take home to mom. The one you shouldn't let get away.

And yet, I let her get away. I all but made her run away.

And that makes me want to kick my own ass.

_Why haven't Emmett and Jasper done that yet?_

I must have fallen asleep finally, because the next thing I remember is waking up to the sound of the door bell.

Groggily I rolled out of bed, making sure my pajama pants were on and I wasn't sporting anything embarrassing and headed downstairs completely forgetting Lauren was asleep on the couch and therefore would hear the doorbell and reach it before I could. I could hear her get up and answer the door as I continued to make my way down the stairs.

"Hi. Can I help you?" Lauren answered cheerfully – too cheerfully to have just woken up.

"Lauren who is it?" I asked through a yawn and as I got to the bottom step.

I should have been more prepared for this. I should have thought this through, but how was I to know she'd pick this morning to come knocking on my door.

Neither Lauren nor the guest answered my question. However I got my answer myself with the distinctive sound of a sniffle. The sniffle that only comes with tears.

I jerked my head up just in time to see her turn around.

"Bella!" I yelled as I ran towards the door. I only caught a quick glimpse of Lauren's face – wide-eyed and obviously panicked.

But my only concern was the fact that Bella was still walking away from me and in a hurry.

"Bella please." I pleaded as I finally caught up to her. I made the instant mistake of trying to grab her arm to stop her from walking because I just couldn't let her walk away from me again. The second my skin came in contact with hers, she stopped, but it wasn't a calm stop. It was an all of a sudden stop and whip around to glare at me kind of stop. The kind of stop that makes a grown man shrink away and pray for his safety.

"What the fuck do you want Cullen!" She yelled at me right there in the yard between our two houses.

"Please just listen…"

"So you can explain? So you can explain why you have some two-bit whore in your house, in your shirt – _only_ your shirt – answering your door. Well I don't want to hear it." She yelled. The amount of fury in her eyes was unbelievable. But what was really heartbreaking was the amount of sadness in them as well.

"Yes so I can explain. It's not at all what it…"

"You're just full of the cliché lines this morning aren't you! 'I can explain', 'it's not what it looks like'. What's next? 'She's just a friend'?"

"But she is…she is just a friend. A friend from L.A. who needed…"

"What a bunch of shit. I can't believe I fell for all those bullshit lines about you waiting for me to make a decision. I _knew_ you really could never change. You'll always be _that _guy. The guy that uses women for his own pleasure and doesn't care about the amount of pain he may cause them. This is exactly why I was hesitant to open my heart back up to..._anyone_…but especially you! Fool me once – shame on you. Fool me twice – shame on me."

"Bella please…"

"No. Never fucking again. Never. Again. I'm done Edward."

"I beg of you…just please listen to me."

"No."

"Okay if not to me, will you listen to Jasper and Emmett? They know everything. They can back up everything. She's just a friend. She slept on the couch…she's not…I didn't sleep with her. I've never slept with her! I love you. I'll always love you, only you for the rest of my life. No one will ever erase my feelings for you." I said as I took her hands. A small amount of relief flooded me when she let me actually touch her. "I want to spend the rest of my life you. If not you then no one. Please." I begged one final time.

I watched as she slowly closed her eyes and let the silent tears fall, but she didn't say anything for what seemed like an eternity.

"Do you know what I came over this morning for?" She said with her eyes still shut.

"No." I whispered.

"I had come to a decision." She said then slowly re-opened her eyes. When her normally so full of life eyes met mine, I was greeted with emptiness instead. Deadness and pain. "I came to tell you that I forgive you for what happened to us 10 years ago. I came to tell you that I'm tired of going through life without taking chances. I came to tell you I wanted to take a chance for the possibility of an _us_. I came to tell you that I love you too…that I've always loved you." She said then paused as she tried to collect herself before continuing to deliver my own personal hell to me.

"I came over because I believed in you and then I was greeted at your door by a half-naked girl. I want to still believe you. I do. But I…I just can't."

"Please…" I continue to beg. I couldn't let her get away. I'll die if she walks out of my life again. I don't think I'll ever be able to truly live with out her. "I can't breathe without you anymore. I need you by my side…"

"Please find another place to practice. I want you out of the office as soon as possible. I can't go to work every day and see you. My heart won't be able to take the abuse. I _love_ _you_ Edward and I _hate_ _myself_ for it. I want you as far out of my life as I can get you." She said then walked away from me.

She walked away and I had no choice but to let her go. Not because my mind was telling me stay put but because my legs wouldn't work. My mouth wouldn't work. I collapsed to the ground and watched as the only woman I truly ever loved walked away from me without one single glance back towards my crumpled body.

I was crying.

I was numb.

I was dead.

"Edward?" Lauren hesitantly asked from what seemed like a good distance away proving I wasn't actually dead.

I _wish_ I was dead. Death would be better than this pain.

"Leave Lauren. Pack your shit and leave." I said as I slowly got up and walked back to my house.

"Edward…I know you're mad at me right now, but how is this my fault? It's not my fault she wouldn't let you explain. It's not my fault…"

"Shut up. Just shut the _fuck_ up! It is your fault. This whole fucking mess is your fault. Who the hell answers someone else's door? Who? And in nothing but a god-damned t-shirt? This _is_ all your fault. Now grab your shit and your kid and the get the fuck out of my house!" I roared at her.

"Daddy?" Lilly's scared little voice came from behind me.

"WHAT?" I yelled and turned around to see my daughter shrink behind the corner and start to cry.

_Son of bitch…can't I do anything right today?_

"Lilly baby…Daddy's sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that. You didn't do anything wrong princess." I said as I kneeled down in front of her. "Please come here."

She nodded and walked over towards me but was still trying to calm her tears. In the background, I sort of remember hearing the front door shut signaling Lauren's departure.

"Come here." I said motioning for Lilly to come closer.

When she did finally get close enough to me, I grabbed her tight and engulfed her into a hug and then just like that, broke down like a little baby.

"Daddy…why are you crying?"

"Because I'm sad sweetie."

"Is Bella mad at us?"

"No honey. Just me. She still loves you." I said choking up even more on the word 'love.'

"She loves you too daddy. She said so." Lilly grinned. I couldn't tell her that I fucked up yet again and that it was different now. I couldn't tell her that she would probably never see Bella again. I couldn't hurt her. I couldn't hurt my little girl.

"Lilly?"

"Yes daddy?"

"How would you like to go spend some time with Grandma Esme and Grandpa Carlisle?"

"Oh please! Pretty please with a giant cherry on top!"

"Okay – get your stuff packed and we'll head over there right now." I said as I patted her butt and sent her upstairs to her room leaving me alone downstairs to try and collect myself enough to drive the hour to my parents' home.

**BPOV**

You never wake up in the morning thinking 'hey I think this day is going to be the day when I will experience complete and total destruction of my heart'. No one ever wants that to happen, but of course if it's going to happen, it's going to happen to me.

I spent all week going over the pros and cons of everything to do with Edward Anthony Cullen and trust when I tell you there are just as many cons as there are pros. But after logically trying to figure it out, I threw logic out the window and for once….okay for the second time in my whole life, followed my heart's true desire.

Yep. Followed my heart and now look where I am.

I'm sitting on my couch at ten in the morning, crying my eyes out, tequila bottle in hand. And ignoring my phone every time it rings which has now happened at least twenty times since I slammed my front door and bolted that bitch shut.

No this morning I had rolled out of bed happy. Honestly happy. Today I was set to tell Edward that I wanted to be with him that I wanted to love him until the day I died.

But instead of being met at his door by him or his daughter, I was met by a dirty blonde slut…wearing his mother fucking t-shirt. And then he appeared on the stairs in only his pajama pants.

I wish I could tell you what my exact thoughts were in the moment, but I'm petty sure all mental function ceased to exist. All I registered was that I had to get out of there before it was too late.

Unfortunately it was too late. I started crying before I could turn my body around and make a run for it. Of course Edward had heard me and was instantly after me.

It wasn't until I felt him touch my arm, I'm assuming to try and stop me, that my brain turned back on.

How could I let this happen again? How could I let him in again? Just like the first time – the second I started believing I was different to him – that he was different – that we could really be something special, he reminds me of who he will always be. And why do I seem to always fucking fall for it!

What is it about Edward Cullen that makes me forget all common sense?

_You should have let him completely explain_.

No I shouldn't have.

_He could have been telling the truth. He did seem pretty sincere about everything._

Great now my conscience is going stupid just like my heart.

Of course now I'm actually carrying on a conversation with my conscience.

_Half a bottle of tequila by yourself in just over an hour will do that to you._

Yes but I'm trying to forget the pain of what _he_ just did to me.

_But he said Jasper and Emmett knew about it and they wouldn't have let him hurt…_

I suppose that's true…

"Isabella Marie Swan!"

"AH!" I yelled as I was startled by the booming voice right next to my ear. "Fuck Emmett…wait….where'd you come from?"

"The door."

"No shit Sherlock but I bolted the shit out of that door before I…" I said then took in the empty bottles of tequila sitting on the table in front of me. "Did I drink all of that this morning?"

"Um…Bells honey…its Thursday. We've been in and out of your house the whole week making sure you're still breathing. Even Alice and Rose have come over. You haven't said a word to us all week until just now. Did you not realize almost a whole week had past?" Jasper asked from somewhere on the other side of me.

"No…I've been…what are you saying? That I've been…comatose?"

"That's a good way to put it." Emmett snorted.

"Well I know I locked my whole house so how did you get in?" I asked choosing to ignore what they had just told me. There was no way it was Thursday. It was just yesterday that he…

No I can't think about it. Even with just the beginning thoughts of Saturday morning I can feel my whole body ripping apart starting with my heart.

God I'm such a fucking idiot for trusting him!

"We picked the lock on your back door and we're here because we just came from talking to Edward…well he didn't do much talking. More like drinking and grunting and nodding and hanging his head and sobbing and…he's been pretty much like you except he's just been drunk this whole time…uh well I guess that's pretty much like you too."

"I get the picture Emmett. Can we please not discuss that asshole? The less memories I have of him the better…in fact…can one of you go pick me up another bottle of tequila? When I was drunk I didn't think of him once. It was marvelous."

"No we will not let you drink yourself to oblivion." Jasper said as he sat down next to me on my couch.

"Why not? It makes me feel better and I get to forget the pain in my chest. It only hurts in my head now."

"It's like déjà vu except instead of a brooding bastard we have a whiny stupid girl." Emmett said as he sat down on the other side of me.

"You know, you two really suck balls at this try to cheer-up the heartbroken girl thing. Where are my girls? I need my Ali and Rosie."

"They can't help you this time." Jasper said.

"Why not?"

"Because they don't know what we know."

"Oh. Well please enlighten me oh wise ones?"

"We know you're stupid. We know you're so sure all love ends in pain that you wouldn't even let this thing with Edward have a chance before you found a way to end it." Emmett said.

"You two didn't see what I saw this morning…er Saturday morning I guess." I said remembering it was supposedly somehow Thursday.

_Wonder what happened at the office all week? _

Who the fuck cares about work. I don't care if I ever go back. He can have the fucking practice. I'll move somewhere else.

"We do know what you saw. You saw a blonde chick answer his door wearing only a t-shirt. You saw what you expected to see and not what was truly there. If you had truly looked you would have seen the fact that the couch was made out like a bed. You would have seen Lauren's baby in her play-pin while Lilly played with her. You would have seen that Edward was trying to tell you who she was." Jasper said.

"If you had let him explain he would have told you that Lauren is one of his mentored kids from L.A. He would have told you that her father was abusive and that when she got pregnant they kicked her out. He would have told you that the baby's father walked away from her. He would have told you that she's like his sister. He would have told you everything. But oh not stubborn Isabella Swan had to make an appearance and not let him explain." Emmett fumed.

"I…he…they…look it doesn't matter. I know what I saw. Get out." I said as I stood up and walked up to my bedroom, slamming that door as well.

I knew they were telling me the truth. But only because I damn well knew neither one of them would lie to me about anything…especially something like this.

I just couldn't tell them that. Thinking back to Saturday and Edward's face. His eyes. His reaction.

They were telling the truth. Edward was telling the truth.

And I over-reacted again.

Why do I insist on pushing people away? Even someone I love more than life itself.

Why?

After everything…I was so quick to jump back to believing that Edward could hurt me again.

Why?

Why can't I let myself believe in love? Why am I so afraid to be in love with him?

And more importantly how am I going to fix this newest mess I've gotten us into it?


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Wow! The reviews after the last chapter were wonderful! I respect every point of view of all my readers. Knowing how all of you view the story is great (even if it means knowing you don't like the way the story is going). I wrote this story from knowing how it feels to be rejected. It's hard to deal with it and it's even harder when you finally realize you've got hidden issues you've got to deal with before you're truly ready for a relationship. I wanted to write something with older characters because as much as I like the younger characters, it's hard for me to write youth drama - I avoided it like the plague in high school and therefore don't have a lot of personal experience to go on. It wasn't until I got out of high school and into the real world that I realized what true heartbreak and problems were. Those issues I know and I can write about them. It's also nice to see not everything is perfect for a change with Bella and Edward. **

**Side note - Eclipse was great! Loved it! It was nice to finally get some humor in there on top of everything else. And...umm...I really wish they'd let that bed scene heat up a little more. I'm petitioning for a rated R Breaking Dawn. hahaha. **

**For my American readers - HAPPY INDEPENDANCE DAY! Enjoy our freedom and remember all the fallen men who fought for it and all our troops who continue to fight to this day to defend that freedom. If it wasn't for all their sacrafices we wouldn't be here right now (and you certainly wouldn't be reading fanfiction).**

* * *

_Chapter 15_

**BPOV**

"I think I need a shrink." I said to Rose and Ali. I was serious. I was very serious. Those bitches just laughed at me.

It's been two weeks since that fateful day. The day I went to tell Edward how I felt about him but instead got an eye full of Lauren. Two whole weeks of avoiding him.

Two weeks of taking personal time away from work.

Two weeks of some deep serious soul searching and meaningful talks with not just Rose and Alice, but also Jasper and Emmett.

I even broke down and called my mom. The mother I hardly spoke to. Not because I didn't love her – it's just things were difficult for us. When she left my father heartbroken and then only called to check on me every six months – it hurt. It made me feel unwanted.

She was who I had to talk to in order to figure this all out.

I spent three hours on the phone with her. The longest conversation I've ever had with her. There was yelling and blaming but more importantly there was crying, understanding, apologies, and forgiveness.

It helped to get it all off my chest and tell Renee how I really felt about her and how she treated me and my father.

It helped a lot, but I still was broken. I still had issues I knew I needed to work through.

I still thought I could – should – trust Edward, but I still couldn't. I wasn't there yet. I wasn't even sure when I'd get to that point. Pretty sure I was never truly there like I thought I was. If I was, then I would have let him explain – actually I wouldn't have jumped to conclusions when I saw her at the door. I would have trusted him that nothing happened.

"Why do you trust us but you can't trust Edward?" Alice asked.

"I dunno." I shrugged.

"I'm calling bullshit on that one. If you really think about it, I bet you can come up with something."

"It's different…we all have a different relationship."

"Yeah…you're not in love with us." Alice said.

"It's the truth. Plus you guys have never given me a reason not to trust you."

"Ah! See there…right there." Rose said.

"What?"

"You can't forget the past with him. You said you did but you really didn't. He's different now. Truly different. Do you really think the guys would like him like they do if he was truly a player? If he was out fucking everything with a pussy…"

"Wow…blunt Rose…"

"Whatever…if he was, can you honestly say that Emmett and Jasper would be his friend _and_ support you two getting together?"

"No…"

"No they wouldn't they'd fight him to the death before they let him get to you. You're their sister."

"Rose is right. If you can't trust him…at least trust our judgment. Give the man a chance to tell you everything face to face. Give him a chance to be with you and show you how much he loves you." Alice said then took my hand before continuing. "Look Bella. I love you like a sister and so I feel obligated to tell you this."

Insert pause for dramatic effect. Alice always did everything to a dramatic extreme.

"What Alice?" I asked.

"I think you're being completely stupid about the past anyways. I understand that it hurt for him to dismiss you like he did…but he didn't really totally dismiss you. He wanted to do it again. He cared enough to not throw you away like the others. Sure it would have started out like friends with benefits, but it could have grown into something special. He was already in love with you, he just didn't know it. Well he knew it, he just wouldn't admit it to himself, because he was a horny bastard…but I digress. I think if you hadn't been such a whiny bitchy drama queen, you two would already be married and Lilly would be your daughter. I think you're totally afraid of giving someone else complete control of your heart. You're scared shitless to let someone else have even the slightest bit of control over you and everything else is just an excuse for you. An excuse you use to hide behind."

She was right of course. In the past two weeks, that was definitely one of the many things I discovered about myself while doing my soul searching. I was afraid. I was afraid I'd end up hurt like my father. I was afraid my daughter would have to go through what I went through. If none of that…I was afraid I was more like my mom than I thought. I was afraid I'd do exactly what she did to her family. I was afraid I would leave.

I couldn't trust anyone with my heart, because I didn't _want_ to trust them. It's not that I couldn't trust them. I just didn't want to.

Maybe she was right about college too. If I hadn't totally freaked out on him, it is very possible our friendship would have grown into something more over time.

I could have been happy like my friends. With a husband who loves me unconditionally and with at least one kid. I could have had that. All of that.

And once again the flood gates opened up and I was bawling like the baby that I am. Like he whiny drama queen that I am.

"D…do you…you think…" I tried though my tears.

"Calm yourself before you try to talk to us." Rose said with a grin.

After a few deep breaths I tried again.

"Do you think I had my _issues_ back in college and that's one reason I freaked out so bad on him?" I asked.

They both just nodded.

"It's obvious your mother's actions made more of an impact than originally thought and those feelings would have settled in before…I would think even high school. It probably explains why you even avoided relationships in high school too…aside from Jacob which from what you tell us was just awkward from the get go. You didn't realize it, but yeah I think you were afraid of either becoming your mother or being in a relationship that mirrored your parents'." Alice said rubbing my back soothingly.

"I still am. What if I get what I think I want and then I find out I really don't want it…"

"You're thinking of inseminating yourself…you want a family Bella." Rose said harshly. "You will never be your mother. You could never just up and leave your family and then never call unless it was a special occasion or every six months just so you could ensure your kid would always have you in their mind. Your mother is one of the most selfish people I've ever known existed. You are nothing like your mother. You're loving. You're giving…to the extreme most of the time. You are polar opposite of your mother."

Now would probably be the perfect time to tell them the only decision I made these past two weeks.

"I need to tell you two something." I said staring at my floor.

"What?" They both said nervously.

"I'm no longer _thinking_ of getting inseminated." I said then chanced a look at their faces. Both were perfect masks of calm and neither were showing emotion. They were scary looking. "I have an appointment on Monday to see a doctor. We're going to discuss the process and run some tests to make sure I have a hospitable body. With what happened between Edward and I…the way I acted, I'm pretty sure no matter what I do, he'll never want to be with me a crazy insane woman who can't trust him so I've decided to go through with it. I want a baby. I want to be a mother. I want someone to call me mommy."

"You're fucking stupid." Rose said.

"Rosalie…" Alice snapped.

"Well…I knew you two didn't really support the idea but wow…"

"It's not that." Alice said still glaring at Rose. "Rose said that not because of your decision, but because of how you arrived at it. You truly think Edward doesn't want you anymore?"

I just nodded, because how could he? I went crazy on him in college. I went crazy on him in his front yard. I'm not stable. I'm broken.

Why would Edward want to be with someone who is broken? Someone who can't believe in herself or love. Even though I want nothing more than to be in love…I can't seem to let myself. And that's not normal.

"He loves you Bella. He is willing to give you all the time you need to figure everything out and to realize he's not going anywhere. He will never leave you. He doesn't have the strength to leave you." Alice said.

"Do you know what he's doing right now?" Rose asked. I shook my head slowly not looking at either of them.

"He is sitting over at Alice's with Jasper and Emmett crying. The man has been crying for two weeks straight. He took Lilly to her grandparents'…"

"Esme and Carlisle?" I interrupted.

"Yes…?"

"Good people. I always liked them."

"Random but okay." They both laughed. I just shrugged.

"Anyways…he took her to their place for a whole week and spent that whole week drunk. Drunk to the point where he doesn't remember anything for whole the week. He was drunk and crying and a pitiful wreck. I've never seen a man more helpless than what Edward was. Hell…he still is. This past week was a little better in the fact that he actually got his ass out of bed and made it in to the office, but it hasn't been pretty. He hasn't shaved or slept for god knows how long. He probably shouldn't be working, but he is because he says it's all he has now besides his daughter. He says the only reason he's still breathing is Lilly and hope." Rose said.

"Hope?" I asked.

"Yeah…hope that you'll come back to him and let him explain. He thinks this is his fault. He is blaming himself for this situation and your alienation. He's beating himself up because you're…_weird_." Rose said then smiled slightly at the end as she and Alice stood to leave. It was closing in on midnight and the time I knew they both wanted to be home.

"I want to be with him girls…I do…but…"

"No buts Bells. If you want to be with him, be with him. That's all there is to it. Everything else will work itself out." Rose said.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but I know how much you love him and I know how much he loves you, and if you can just trust yourself and the relationship then you two will make it through everything. You're meant to be with him. I can see that. You just need to realize it and believe it. I always thought you were the strongest of all of us. Always thought you were the most fearless…"

"Don't do that Alice."

"It's the truth. You put up one hell of a front Bells. Even I…all knowing Alice…didn't see through it. All these years…you never fell into a relationship, not because the guys weren't right, but because you've been chicken shit to face what might be forever. I'm a little disappointed."

And with that, the two of them left.

Damn that was hard to hear from them. Tough love though I guess. They're right however. I am just scared shitless.

And I have been lying to them all these years. But I've also been lying to myself.

Time to face the facts and demons of my life. I can face this head on. I can be better than what I'm afraid I'll be.

I can do this.

As soon as I figure out how to do it.

**EPOV**

I was in the middle of yet another complete breakdown in front of the guys when Alice walked in the door. I was on my feet and in front of her faster than humanly possible.

"Is she okay? How is she? Is she…"

"She's fine Edward." Alice laughed at me. "She was at least sober this evening."

"Not funny Alice." I said disapprovingly.

"It's the truth. She's been just as drunk as you…more so since she didn't go to work this past week and you somehow managed it. She's got a lot of shit to work through Edward, but I think…_I think_ everything will better soon. Give her time. She's got a lot of demons to clear out of her head."

"What?" I asked confused.

I was pretty sure we were in this mess because of me. Not her. Well…not even me, but Lauren.

Okay – so I take some blame there. I should not have let her stay. I should have been smart enough to think about what might happen and how it might look to an outsider.

But damn-it all to hell…who the fuck answers someone else's door in just a shirt? Someone who doesn't really care, that's who.

I've since apologized to Lauren for yelling at her, but I made sure she understood how pissed I was at her for the problem I was in. I haven't heard from her and honestly, I don't expect to.

"We made her cry tonight again, but we got her to admit it finally."

"Admit what?" Jasper asked.

"She's afraid of becoming her mother or being the other side of something similar to what her mother put her father through. This also creates trust issues. She wants to trust you though, which is great….I probably shouldn't be talking to you about this. This is all stuff for Bella to tell you."

"But she won't talk to me."

"She will. Give her time."

"I'll give her eternity."

"I don't think she'll need that much time."

"Should I try to talk to her or wait for her to come to me?"

"Umm…maybe give her one more week."

"I can do that for sure."

"Good. Now leave. I want some alone time with my hubby while the twins are asleep." She said then winked as she pushed me and Emmett out the door.

"Freakishly strong pixie." Emmett said as the door slammed in our faces.

"No shit." I sighed.

"Look man, I know this is hard for you, but I know Bella and I know you and it will work out."

"Do you promise?" I laughed.

"Yeah dude…I promise. I know I've only known you for what…like three months? It's crazy to think that, but I feel like you belong here. You belong in the group. You belong with Bella."

"I want to believe in that so bad, but how can we work now?"

"You didn't do anything bro. Sure you made a bad judgment call, but we all do. I love Bella like a sister, but this current situation in 99 percent her issues right now. She's gotta work some shit out."

"Yeah I understand but…it's hard. Relationships are hard." I said as we approached his house. Rose's mom was in town, thankfully, and had agreed to watch both Vanessa and Lilly for us.

I felt bad leaving Lilly with someone again and tonight would be the last time I did so for a while. I felt better than I had in the past two weeks and I needed to spend time with my daughter now.

After all her mother sure as hell wasn't.

She wasn't even calling.

"Evening fellas." Rose greeted us when we walked in.

"Hey Rose." I said with a tight smile.

"Everything will work out in the end." She said.

"Is Lilly asleep?" I asked Rose's mom – who I can say I never got officially introduced to.

"Yes. She's a doll Edward."

"Thank you." I said as I headed towards the bedroom to get Lilly. When I came back out to the living room carrying my daughter, I was met with looks of concern.

"What?" I asked the three of them.

"Mom, was just telling me that Lilly talked about her mother not being around much." Rose said.

"Oh. Yeah Tanya…she hasn't even called once since she left on tour. Lilly's pretty tore up about it. I'm running out of reasons to give her as to why her mother hasn't called her." I sighed.

"What a horrible woman." Rose's mom said.

"I'm so close to just saying screw it and suing for full custody – no parental rights at all for Tanya. At this point, I don't think she'd put up a fight. She sure as hell doesn't seem interested in her own daughter's life."

"Poor Lil." Emmett said as he moved her hair off of her face.

"Yeah…it breaks my heart." I said as I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I'm gonna head on home. I'll see you all soon. Thanks again for watching her tonight. I really appreciate it."

"No problem Edward. She's a wonderful little girl. So smart."

"I know." I said smiling. She was definitely the shining star in my life right now.

As I walked back to my house, I couldn't stop myself from looking up at Bella's bedroom window. I didn't expect to see anything; I just felt the need to look up. It wasn't even a decision…I just did it. I couldn't have stopped my eyes if I wanted to.

I certainly didn't expect to see her sitting there with the window open staring out of it.

And I definitely didn't expect her to look down at me and smile slightly.

I smiled back but kept walking towards my house, before I could convince myself that was some sort of invitation to stop.

It gave me hope though.

My hope started disappearing though, when another week passed by.

She still hadn't come back to work. We still hadn't spoken to each other, even though I saw her almost every day outside running or doing landscaping of some sort.

Lilly had gone over and talked to her though and Bella seemed to welcome it, but she also seemed distracted even from a distance. I caught her looking at me a few times, but she never smiled again.

It was Saturday again, and I had officially given it the full week I told Alice I would. Today I would be walking over to Bella's and talking to her. I had absolutely no idea what to say or anything but I was going to do it.

"Lilly!" I called out for my daughter.

"Yeah daddy?" She said as she rounded the corner in the living room from her play room.

"I'm going next door for a minute. Will you be okay here by yourself for a few minutes?"

"Yes daddy. Are you going over to Bella's?"

"Yes princess."

"Good. I want you two to be friends again." She said then disappeared again. I just laughed at my daughter then headed for the front door.

When I opened it though, I wasn't met with empty space.

"Tanya? What are you doing here?" I gritted out.

"I came to see my daughter and tell her some good news."

"You can't just show up without letting us know you're coming. We were just on the way out. You'll have to come back…"

"You can't keep me from my daughter." She said as she pushed her way inside my house.

"Why all of a sudden do you want to see her? It's been a month since you've even called her. What the hell Tanya? She's your daughter." I said forcefully still trying to keep my voice down so Lilly wouldn't hear us.

"I've been busy with the tour and some other things. I'm here now and that's all that matters."

"No that's not all that matters. Our daughter needs a mother Tanya."

"I'm here aren't I?"

"Yeah you're here…what do you want?"

"I just want to see my daughter and tell her something." She said as she waved her hand around.

That's when I saw it.

"You got married?" I fumed. Not because she re-married, but because she got married and Lilly wasn't a part of it.

"Yes that's why I'm here. Keith and I got married while we were in New York."

"You got married?" I repeated because that's all I could think at the moment. "How could you do that to her?"

"To who?"

"TO WHO! Are you fucking kidding me Tanya? Lilly! Your daughter. This will devastate her so much. She would have wanted to be a part of that. Help you pick out your dress…the whole nine yards. How could you do this to her?"

"It's not about her. It's about me for a change. It's time I think about me. It's not always about her! Sometimes I wish I wasn't a mother."

And then we heard the back door slam shut.

"Lilly!" I yelled after her but she was already out the back door. I turned and just stared at Tanya with as much hate as I could project. "She's your daughter Tanya…how dare you say that about her." I said then walked around her to go find Lilly. I was pretty sure I knew where she went though.

"Where are you going?"

"To find _my_ daughter."

"Where do you think she ran to?" Tanya asked as she followed me out the front door.

"Now you care?" I hissed as I walked over to Bella's front door.

This wasn't exactly how I wanted to talk to Bella today, but at least it solved the problem of how to begin the conversation.

The only problem? No one answered the door when I knocked.

But I knew she was home. I just knew it. So I headed around back. Tanya following closely.

"Who's house is this?"

"Bella's." I answered shortly.

"That homely pitiful looking woman that was at the hospital?" Tanya said snottily.

"Bella is far from homely. She's gorgeous…a hell of a lot prettier than you ever could possibly dream to be." I said turning on Tanya before we entered the back yard. "She a better person than you. She's everything I wish Lilly could have in her life to look up to."

"You love her."

"Fucking yeah I love her. I've loved her for 10 years. I loved her when I was married to you…I just didn't know it." I said then walked around the corner of Bella's house and came face to face with a heartbreaking scene.

Bella was sitting on the ground with Lilly curled up in her lap crying her eyes out. Bella was rocking her back and forth as she rubbed circles on her back. I couldn't hear what she whispering in her Lilly's ear but I could see her lips moving.

What got to me the most was how tight Lilly was clinging to Bella's neck and how Bella was holding just as tightly to Lilly.

And then I realized Bella was crying too.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Posting early this week...this is because with it being my birthday on Sunday - I've got a pretty busy schedule for the weekend. I wanted to get this up though, so I made a promise to myself that I would get it out tonight before I went to bed.**

**Again - you guys are awesome! The reviews are amazing! I love logging in and seeing I have multiple to read. The response to this has been beyond wonderful. :-)**

**ENJOY! (our lovely couple _might_ just have a breakthrough this chapter...hmmm...)****

* * *

**

_Chapter 16_

****

BPOV

Another week. Another week of me trying to sort through my shit-tastic life. Another week of me not going to work, of not talking to him, of not knowing what the hell I'm supposed to do next.

After Rose and Alice left me on Saturday night, I did a lot more thinking. A ridiculous amount of thinking. Thinking that made me cry – again.

I thought more about what Alice said than anything else. She was right. I am scared to let someone have any type of control over my heart. Hell maybe she was even right about college. Maybe I made more out of what happened between Edward and I back then to give myself a reason not to get close to him. I made up a reason not to fully let him in my heart.

God. Am I really that broken? Am I so broken I over-reacted subconsciously to give myself an out? Not even knowing I did it?

And if that's the case, why would Edward want to be with someone who's so…so…there's no other way to put it but broken. I'm a broken mess.

But I wanted to be with him? Why would I make up an excuse to run from him if I wanted to be with him?

_Because you knew he didn't want to be more than friends…yeah with possible benefits…but that was going to lead to nothing but heartache…pain…disappointment_

It would have been Jacob all over again. In a way it was. I repeated the same mistake. I trusted a boy because he was my friend.

Edward of course. I thought he was different. I thought I would be different because we were friends first and foremost. I was wrong. He didn't treat me any differently than the nameless girls he shared a bed with.

But before Edward, there was Jacob. Only Jacob before Edward.

I dated one person in high school. A family friend. It seemed like a natural step for us. We were always together and we had a good time when we were hanging out. He knew my history and I trusted him not to hurt me.

I thought I loved him, but things never felt _right_ with us. Like I told the girls, it always felt awkward. It felt forced between us and that wasn't right, but I continued to try and then eventually I truly did end up loving him. And I believed him when he told me he loved me as well.

And I thought it was true right up until the day I found him in bed with a blonde bimbo.

A blonde who Jacob professed he loved more than life itself.

I kicked him in his exposed dick then walked out of his house never to look back.

I hear they're still together and expecting their third child.

Now Edward didn't cheat but he sure made me feel like a useless slut. So pretty much the same feeling with Jacob.

So I resigned myself to meaningless things. But even those were few and far between. I did it to keep from experiencing _that_ pain again. I became College Edward and I did it without really even realizing I was doing it.

In ten years I've managed to avoid feeling like a cheap useless piece of meat – used by people I thought were friends; men I thought I could trust with my heart.

The only problem with that is I still managed to get hurt – to be heartbroken without even knowing I was hurting.

Damn that stupid man for showing back up in my life.

Before he showed up, I was blind to my unhappiness. Before he came back, all I thought I was missing was a child to call my own. A little one who clung to me for their life and called me mommy. That's all I wanted.

As it turns out, I'm missing a hell of a lot more. I want more. I _need_ more.

And the only time I feel even slightly complete and happy is when I'm with him. Talk about scaring the living shit out of someone who always thought herself to be independent and not in need of any other human being. How can I need someone so much when I can't trust them?

_Has Edward ever given you a real reason not to trust him?_

No…stupid voice in my head…

_Did he ever pretend to be something he wasn't? Did he tell you that you two would be something more than friends with benefits in college? Did he lead you on?_

No…

_Has he done anything now to make you question his trustworthiness?_

Well there is the whole…_Lauren_…thing…

_Bullshit. Calling bullshit on myself. You damn well know nothing was going on. Emmett and Jasper would have kicked his ass into the next century if that had been true. Plus you saw his eyes when he _tried_ to explain._

Yeah okay – so no he hasn't ever given me a reason not to trust him. One of the very few people actually.

_So what the hell is your problem?_

Huh…lord knows he's had plenty of opportunities to lie to me about things. He's never given me a reason, not a single one, to truly say I couldn't trust him.

It's in his eyes. When he confessed his feelings…I didn't see it then because I didn't want to, but…but he truly would never hurt me.

"What is my problem?" I said out lout – still to myself, but out loud. An improvement from my inner monologue.

I have to talk to him. I have tot tell him everything. I have to let him know what's been going through my mind, where I stand with everything. He has to know that, although I have major issues, I want to try to work through them all – and with him by my side.

I was on my way out the door to come face to face with what I hoped was a part of my future, when my phone rang.

My house phone. On a Saturday.

_Shit…_

"Hello?" I asked when I answered.

"Bella?" A familiar but not quite familiar enough female voice echoed through the receiver.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"Lisa Johnston…"

"Oh of course Lisa." I said and laughed nervously. My doctor was calling me. On a Saturday.

"Yes, I'm calling with the results of your tests from Monday."

_Definitely 'oh shit'._

"Before I go into the results, I just want to tell you that there are ways…"

"Lisa, please cut the chit-chat. As a doctor myself, I know house calls on a Saturday are never good news."

"No, they aren't." She said after a long pause. "I'm afraid your body doesn't produce enough of the hormones needed to assist in carrying a child. This can be treated with hormone medicines and shots…"

"Yeah so what's the real problem?" I choked out, because I knew that previous issue was very treatable and wouldn't warrant a call over the weekend.

"Your body just isn't made to carry a child. Your eggs don't produce correctly all the time. Both we tested were not healthy. And if for some reason you do produce one that's capable of possible fertilization, the odds of it being able to travel down and in to your…"

I couldn't hear anymore.

"Thank you Lisa." I interrupted then just hung up the phone and started almost instantly hyperventilating.

I needed air.

Before I realized it, I was in the middle of my back yard on my knees with my head in my hands, crying my eyes out.

My life was a total mess. Just when I thought I had it figured out. I was going to tell Edward how I felt and how much I wanted to try to make things work with him, the one thing I wanted more than him was revealed to be unattainable.

I would never be a mother to a child of my own. I would never know the feeling to give birth to something I created.

My only options now were adoption or marrying someone with a child already – which let's face it, at my age was more the rule than the exception.

Hell this is probably just another strike against me that will make Edward run the other way.

_You know you have Edward no matter, you just need to go to him right now. He is who you need right now. He can comfort you. You know he can. He and Lilly are all you need_.

As soon as I thought it, a blur of pink collided with my body – hard.

A hysterical seven year-old was clinging to me for her life.

"Lilly, honey?" I said trying to calm myself so I could calm her. "Is everything okay?"

All I got in response was a frantic shaking of her head.

"Is you daddy okay?"

A nod of her head confirmed her father was indeed not dead somewhere.

"Are you okay?"

I didn't see any cuts on her body, well what I could see of it anyways, but something was definitely wrong with her. I've never had someone cry so hard on my shoulder before. Her whole body was literally vibrating and shaking with the force of her tears.

As expected, she shook her head no.

"Sweetie, you have to tell me what's wrong otherwise I can't help."

That didn't help at all. All it did was make her cry harder if that was even possible. I was doing everything I could think of to sooth her. I was rocking, rubbing her back, nothing was working.

"Come on princess, let's get you home I'm sure…"

"NO!" she screamed bloody murder and clung tighter to my neck.

"But Lilly…"

"I don't want to go back. She doesn't love me. She doesn't want me."

"Who?"

"Mommy." She sobbed.

Are you kidding me? You mean to tell me that that stupid woman doesn't want her child? And she told her? The one thing I would sell my soul for and _Tanya_ is throwing it aside like it's nothing. How could a mother not love their child?

"Do you love me Bella?" Lilly asked out of nowhere.

"Of course sweetheart." I said fighting tears of my own. I did. I loved that little girl.

"I love you too. I wish you were my mommy."

And my heart swelled. Music to my ears, but at the same time still painful to hear. In that moment, she was my savior. She didn't know it, but she was.

I never wanted to let her go. I needed to hold her as much as she needed to hold me. I just squeezed her tighter and cried right along with her.

That little girl gave me another reason to try and make things work with Edward.

I wanted to be her mommy. I wanted to make her wish come true….

I felt him as he got closer to Lilly and I, but I didn't acknowledge him. I just continued to sooth Lilly while she unknowingly did the same for me.

But maybe if I had spoken first, _she_ wouldn't have.

"Let my daughter go." Tanya demanded. At the sound of her voice, Lilly's grip got tighter yet again letting me know she was not going to be letting go of me any time soon.

Fine with me.

"No can do." I said as I made eye contact with her – somehow managing to overlook Edward.

"She's my daughter and I want your hands off of her."

"But she doesn't want me to let her go. She came running to me and until she tells me to let her go, I won't."

"Listen here you…"

"No you listen. I don't know what you did or said to your daughter, but you devastated her. She was hysterical when she came running back here. I can't understand how you could possibly hurt such an angel. Its women like you who make me sick. You somehow managed to get everything I ever wanted and you want nothing to do with it. You're nothing but a selfish piece of crap who now has exactly 30 seconds to remove itself from my property before I call the cops."

"I'm not going anywhere without speaking to _my_ daughter!"

I didn't have to be looking at him to know he was clenching his jaw with his fists tight. I could just feel the anger rolling off of him.

"She's _my_ daughter. I filed the papers yesterday suing you for full custody. Of course if you just sign over all your parental rights, you'll avoid the humiliation of the court date which will air all your dirty little secrets. Oh and now your _husband's_ since that factors into the court's decision now too." Edward said.

At the mention of a husband my eye brows shot up but I didn't say anything.

I might have just gotten my answer for the hysterical girl in my lap.

Tanya stood there staring at him gaping for a good minute (passing her 30 second time limit I gave her, but Edward had just done something fabulous and I wanted to see her response). She finally spoke and it was actually quiet. I was prepared for an all out fight.

"I'll sign. Send the papers to my lawyer." She said void of all emotions then actually turned around and walked away.

I hated that Lilly heard everything that had just went down, but at the same time she needed to hear it. She needed to know her mother was gone and out of her life.

"Lilly? Your daddy's here. Do you want to let go so you can go home with him now?"

"No Bella. I want to stay with you." She mumbled into my tear stained shirt.

"Well hold on tight, I'm gonna try to stand up."

"Let me help." Edward said as he gently helped me stand up while I still held onto Lilly. We stood looking at each other awkwardly for a while. I was about to say something when his cell rang.

"Doctor Cullen…yes of course…get her settled and I'll be there in 10 or so…yes…okay."

I knew what that phone call was.

"Go. I've got her. Don't worry about anything." I smiled.

"Thank you." He said then kissed Lilly's barely exposed cheek. "Love you princess."

"Love you daddy."

Lilly and I went over to her house where we proceeded to play all day. One delivery turned into a bunch more emergencies and regular deliveries. Edward made sure to call to keep us informed, but at 8 he was still at the hospital so I got Lilly ready for bed.

"Story?"

"Sure. Which one?" I asked as we got comfortable in her bed.

"Um…Cinderella."

"No problem little one." I Said then dramatically cleared my throat earning a giggle form my audience.

"Once upon a time…."

**EPOV**

The universe hated me. It knew I wanted nothing more than to be home right now. My daughter had just gone through something no child should ever go through and then I left her. Granted I left her with Bella so I wasn't worried about her but I still felt I should be the one with her.

For crying out loud, her mother just left her. Then as soon as Tanya was gone, I had to take off for the hospital.

Like it wasn't painful enough to see my little girl crying so hard she couldn't breathe, but Bella was crying too.

But, no, here I was stuck in this cold hospital while the only place I wanted to be was at home with my girls. Comforting them. Holding them tightly.

_I like the sound of that. My girls. Hmm…I wonder what they're doing…_

"Cullen!"

"What?" I snapped.

"Go home. You're done." The lead nurse said smiling at me. "Man…you've got it bad."

Yep. Can't even begin to deny that one. So I just shrugged then took off running for the door.

11:00 at night. Odds were Lilly was asleep and Bella was probably there as well, but maybe not. Maybe I'll get a break today and she'll be awake on the couch waiting for me. We could talk. I could find out what the past three weeks has meant. I could find out why she was crying this morning.

Unfortunately, my living room was empty. As was the kitchen and every other room downstairs.

_Maybe she found her way to the guest room…which isn't finished but…_

So I headed up stairs, but stopped at Lilly's bedroom door.

They had fallen asleep together on Lilly's bed. Bella holding Lilly like a caring mother. And Lilly still holding tightly to Bella like she thought she would disappear.

They both looked so peaceful. So comfortable in their positions. So perfect.

It _was_ perfect.

I did the only thing I could think to do.

I grabbed my camera and captured it. I would cherish that photo for my entire life for this is how I always wanted to find my family when returning home from a long day at work.

After taking the picture, I carefully extracted Bella from my daughter's arms and picked her up to carry her to a bigger bed. As soon as she was in my arms, she snuggled into me and sighed as a smile played on her lips.

Her absolutely kissable lips…

Yep…putting her down in my bed now…

I gently laid her down in my bed and watched as she instantly turned onto her side to get comfortable. Her dark brown hair splayed out over my pillow, her skin glowing in the moon light.

Yes, this is how my life should have gone.

"Good night sweet Bella." I whispered as I bent down to press the softest of kisses to her cheek.

"Mmm…night Edward." She sighed.

I hesitated but said what I wanted to say to her. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She said back immediately and so clearly, I thought she was awake. I couldn't do anything but stand there and stare at the beautiful woman sleeping in my bed.

Yes this is the life I should have had all along. This is where I belonged. This is where she belonged.

And I don't care what her excuses are. I'm going to change her mind.

I'm going to get the life I…_we_…deserve.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hmm...nothing really to say this time around. As always the response from the last chapter was amazing so thank you for that! :-) Looking forward to the response on this one! Enjoy.**

* * *

_Chapter 17_

**BPOV**

Sunday morning…I know its Sunday morning because the sun is shining ridiculously bright through the window. I'm ready for this morning. I'm ready for the future. I can do this.

After Lilly feel asleep half-way through the story last night, I stayed with her, mainly because she had a death grip on me, but also because I was comfortable. I was comfortable and happy with her tiny hands gripping my shirt like she thought I would leave her too. I could never leave this little girl.

And that's bad. That's very, very bad. I'm attached to her and more so now than I was just a week ago. The pain I could see in her eyes all night even through her laughter reminded me a lot of the pain I was feeling.

The pain of loss.

She had just lost her mother…granted a mother who was never truly there but her mother none the less. She was a child without a mother.

I had just lost a child…granted a child who was never mine but the hope for a child none the less. I was a mother without a child.

Together we were part of a whole and it felt like it as I read the story of a child without a true mother to her. It didn't escape my attention that she chose that story. I'm not even sure she did it on purpose, but the hidden fear behind it didn't go unnoticed.

Hell I could even sympathize with her on the whole no mother thing. Our situations were slightly different, but not so different that I couldn't understand what she was thinking. She needed to be reassured that she's not the reason any of this happened. She needs to understand at a young age that none of this is her fault. I can't let her go through life afraid of relationships – not that she would cause let's be honest, I'm just really fucked up, but it's still a possibility that through this experience she'll gain the fear of commitment.

Her father needs to make sure she understands how much he loves her and how important she is to him. That's the most important relationship in their world right now. Father-daughter.

I wonder if I can convince him to focus on that and not us. That could help me get use to us…

_What the hell am I thinking? _Us?_ There is no us…of course there could be._

Yes there could be – if I ever wake up and talk to him.

I _can_ get up out of this bed and find Edward and talk to him. Talk to him about what happened yesterday, because I still don't know, and talk to him about what's been happening the past three weeks.

Yes. I'll get out of this amazingly comfortable bed…

_Wait, I totally don't remember this bed being this comfortable, warm, and big. _

Definitely not in Lilly's bed because Lilly's bed didn't smell this much like Edward. I would most certainly remember the smell of Edward surrounding me while I tried to fall asleep. Mainly because I more than likely wouldn't have been able to fall asleep.

Ever have that feeling you're being watched? Yeah pretty sure I'm being watched but surly he's not here with me? How in the hell did I end up here?

"Just open your eyes Bella." He chuckled.

"What the hell Edward?" I asked as I sat straight up in the bed. "What the hell am I doing in your bed? And more importantly, why in the hell are you in it _too_?"

It came out harsher and more panicky than I really intended. I wasn't really upset that I was sharing a bed with him. I was but I wasn't...ugh…this is so fucked up.

"Relax. I came home form work and found you asleep in Lilly's bed. I figured you'd rather be in a bigger bed so I carried you to my room and put you here…"

I think I vaguely remember being carried somewhere – thought it was a dream. In the dream after I was carried to bed, the mystery man kissed me gently before ravishing me like a caveman.

_Oh no…_

Okay fully dressed. We're okay, right?

"But why are _you_ here with me? Wasn't aware sharing a bed was the next step after not talking for three weeks."

"I _was _asleep on the couch when I woke up to the sound of crying. At first I thought it was Lilly but it was you, so I came in to try and settle you, but you were stone cold asleep. I sat down on the edge of the bed and took your hand. It was the only thing I could think to do. You immediately calmed so I started to leave, but you wouldn't let me. I tried to pull my hand away from you and you started freaking out again, so I stayed. I apparently feel asleep as well."

"Oh." I said lamely. I was crying in my sleep? What else did I dream besides the steamy sex dream? Why can't I remember?

Well, I probably don't really need to remember to know what it was. But it'd be nice to know what I was thinking so I could know what I might have said in my sleep.

"So…we didn't do anything then, right?"

"Jesus Bella. No. I wouldn't take advantage of you. You were asleep for crying out loud. Although there were times I swore you had to be awake." He said kind of looking off into space like he was thinking of something completely different than the conversation at hand.

"Yeah I talk in my sleep." I said then blushed causing him to laugh.

"I figured as much."

And then it got quiet. Neither of us said a word and for the first time in a while it was awkward silence.

I knew I had to speak up. It would probably be the only time I would have to talk to him and I had a feeling I only a little while until a little girl was awake.

"Thank you." I said as I took a deep breath.

"My god…for what? I should be thanking you. With everything that happened yesterday, you were there and that was perfect for Lilly…you were perfect for Lilly. She needed somebody and I don't think a daddy was exactly the item needed at the time…"

"No. Thank you for the past three weeks."

Good he's speechless. That means I should get through most of this before he interrupts me.

Or not.

"I don't understand." He said right as I was starting.

"If you'll let me talk and not interrupt I'll try to explain the best I can. No promises that any of it will make any sense to you, but I want you to know exactly what it's been like for me the past three weeks."

He nodded showing me he was going to listen.

And I started. I began with how I felt when he shared his feelings with me in L.A. I told him how it was everything I wanted but at the same time not what I wanted. I tried to explain to him how much I wanted to be with him but how it took me the next week to understand that I could be if I was willing to just trust him and try.

I told him about my list of pros and cons and how in the end I decided to just trust my heart for a change instead of my over-analytical brain. I told him about my mother and my feelings towards her that I didn't even realize I was harboring until all this shit went down.

I told him the entire story about Jacob – which got the first real sign of emotion from him. He was pissed that Jacob cheated, but he didn't say anything. He didn't interrupt.

After I attempted to explain where my trust issues were steaming, I told him about the morning I decided to tell him everything. The morning I was greeted with the sight of Lauren.

Even though deep down I knew I could trust him, to me it was just another example of why I couldn't trust anyone with my heart. My first thought was that, even though Edward isn't mine, I had been cheated on. He had only just pledged his love for me and patience for me to think it all over and then I find a strange woman in his house.

I closed myself again. I refused to get hurt yet again. I was not going to be that weak girl again. Of course I was weak, just in a different way. No I wasn't exposed to heartbreak, but I was drowning myself in sorrow and liquor. Not to mention alienating my friends.

And then I told him why I was crying.

"Edward…" I said as the tears started falling. I had been talking for almost an hour at this point and I was just now getting to the part I knew would tear me up.

And this was the first time he spoke.

"Shhh…" He said as he pulled me into his side and held me close. "What is it, love? Please tell me what's wrong. Please tell me why you were crying yesterday and in your sleep and now. Please. I want to be able to help you through whatever's wrong. I want to work through whatever it is together. Please."

"You can't help me Edward." I sobbed.

"How can you know that?"

"How can you know that you can?" I asked as sat back up and looked at him. "I had a doctor's appointment on Monday."

"An appointment for…oh I see." He said slightly dejected. "So you were really serious…"

"I was yes. In the two weeks prior to the appointment, everything just seemed so shitty that I made my decision. I was going to go through with it. It seemed like the only way to make my life whole and complete. The only way I ever really felt I could be whole."

"And?"

"And…I was on my way over to you yesterday when my doctor called me." I said as I wiped more tears off my face then watched as understanding dawned in his eyes. "I can't have children. The doctor all but told me it was impossible. I'll never have a child. I'll never have the only thing I ever wanted more than…" I started but stopped. I didn't stop because I was crying too hard to talk but because I was about to admit I needed him.

"More than what?"

I'll ignore that for now.

"I was in the back yard trying to collect myself when Lilly came running out to me. It was so hard but so wonderful at the same time. She was saving me as I saved her. I don't think I could have asked for something better to happen in that moment. And then I got to spend the whole day with your princess. She's amazing Edward. You have no idea how precious she is." I smiled.

"Trust me I do know and I thank God every day I get to spend with her. She is what got me through the times I didn't want to get through. Trust me, I know how precious she is." He said. "She's everything to me…well she kind of has to share the spotlight now but I'd never be able to do what her mother did."

"Speaking of which…Lilly never could tell me. She didn't offer and I didn't want to ask. What happened?"

"Her mother went and got married without having Lilly there and then she yelled that she sometimes wishes she wasn't a mother. I just can't understand it. And Lilly heard it. She heard her mother say she didn't want her. I can't even imagine the pain in my little girl's eyes. I think if I would have seen them I would have killed the bitch. I truly think I would have…and I was on the verge of it as it was until I saw you with Lilly." He said then caressed my cheek.

_Here it goes…he's going to freaking do it again. I'm ready this time though._

"Bella, seeing you with my daughter…seeing you comfort her and then finding you two asleep when I got home from work…I know you're not ready for anything, but it was just everything I ever hoped my life would be. You're exactly who I want in my life…who I want to be a part of Lilly's life. I hope this isn't freaking you out, but I truly can't see me…_us_ being happy with anyone but you. Lilly and I both love you. At the risk of sounding like a cliché overused movie line…you complete me. You complete my family. And what really gets to me is now that I've admitted it to myself – I've always known it was true. And I couldn't be more upset with myself for that. We could have had forever ten years ago but instead I threw it all away to be young and free…."

"But you got Lilly out of it." I said interrupting him. "If things had worked out differently in college – you wouldn't have Lilly. Things wouldn't be the same. You know it. I know it. We weren't meant to be together back then. The stars were written differently for us. Everything happens for a reason Edward. I strongly believe that."

I wasn't lying. Looking at it now, knowing I can't have children – Edward and I weren't meant to start a relationship in college. If we had, he wouldn't have the angel who is sleeping down the hall from us. We'd probably be miserably despondent and disappointed with our lives.

But we _did_ go our separate ways in college. He ended up with his family and even though he didn't consciously know it, he craved more. I got my best friends – my family – but for slightly unknown and misunderstood reasons, I wasn't happy.

We were brought back together and my family helped his family and his family helped me. We came back together to help each other feel whole.

I know I should be mad at him. I know I should be leery of him, but I can't be. I've had ten years to move past him – and I've tried but when you know you're just meant to be with someone, you can't fight it.

I've had ten years to get over it. And I am. I'm finally past it. I can't hold the past above his head. He's proven he's a changed man…he's the man I always knew deep down he is.

He's what I need. He and Lilly are my life-line. And I'm okay admitting that to myself, but not to him…_yet._

"If you hurt me, I'm ripping your balls off and feeding them to you." I said out of the blue.

"Um okay?"

"I'm serious Edward. I can't be happy without you but damn-it to hell if you hurt me I'll kill you. I don't care how much it hurts."

"Bella, I could never hurt you…" He said but I cocked and eyebrow. "Okay…I couldn't hurt you on purpose. I'm obviously the stupidest man in the world who needs to think shit through before I do or say anything."

"At least you know it. That's the first step." I said then sighed. "Edward – you have to understand that I'm broken. As much as I trust you and want to trust you, I still have little doubts that will flare up. You have to have patience with me. I'll try…I'm really going to try here, but I don't want you to think just because I told you I wanted to try this that I'm immediately going to get serious with you. I want to take this slow…_very slow_. I don't want to jump head first into something. I'm just not ready for it, but I want you."

"You're not broken."

"Is that all you heard?"

"No. I heard everything you said and just like with everything else you've said, I understand and I'm willing to move at the pace you're comfortable with."

"Even if that means cold showers for you?" I said while smiling coyly.

"I've been taking cold showers for almost three months Bella." He winked and I just smiled as the silence settled back in on us.

He sat back on his bed with his head resting on the headboard so I curled up to his side and snuggled in close to him. He immediately wrapped his arms around me to hold me even closer and we just sat there.

"This is so perfect." He whispered into the quiet house.

"It is pretty nice." I whispered back. I felt his body vibrate with a quiet laugh but he didn't say anything. "Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

But I didn't answer. I did the only thing that seemed like the right thing to do. I tilted my head up and place an ever so soft kiss on his lips. It wasn't a deep sensuous kiss but it was absolutely wonderful.

"I've been wishing for that to happen since the first day you walked into your office and proceeded to lean over me to get a piece of paper."

This only caused me to laugh.

"Pretty sure thoughts of me kissing you didn't enter my mind until….oh hell….damn it. I thought it the second I saw you at the hospital that same day."

This caused him to laugh.

"Daddy? Bella?" Lilly shouted from her bedroom sounding on the verge of crying.

I've never seen Edward move that fast. In a split second he was running down the hall.

"What's wrong princess?" I heard him ask.

"Where's Bella? She promised not to leave me…and…I woke up and she wasn't here and I thought she loved me but she…"

"She's still here princess. She's just in the bathroom right now…"

So I guess we're not telling Lilly anything yet and I suppose this means I should get my ass up out of bed and into the bathroom then.

I had just got in the bathroom and turned on the water when Edward walked in carrying Lilly.

"See...she's right here." Edward said.

"Morning Lilly." I said as I held my arms out to her and of course she quickly climbed over. "You know it's a good thing you're such a tiny little thing otherwise I wouldn't be able to hold you like this."

"Thank you for not leaving."

"I told you I wouldn't. I'll never lie to you honey." I whispered then kissed her forehead as she nodded. "Now let's get ready for the day and I say we head over to Aunt Alice's and Uncle's Jasper's."

"Are Uncle Em and Aunt Rosie gonna be there too?"

"Of course."

"Yay!" She smiled so I put her down to let her get ready for the day leaving Edward and I alone.

"So I take it we're not telling your daughter anything."

"I panicked…I didn't know what to tell her. She's just so attached to you and until we're sure everything's going to work…not that I don't think it will, but you know just in case…I didn't want her to get her hopes up and have it smashed down because I screwed something up again…which is the only way I'm gonna let you get away from me again and I…"

"Edward…" I said as I placed a finger on his mouth. "Shut the hell up. You're rambling. I get it…we're keeping this under wraps for now. I'm okay with that it's probably better to keep people out of our business, but sneaking around is going to be hard especially with Lilly. She's smart Edward, she'll figure it out. And don't even get me started on Alice and Rose….they'll probably figure something out today as soon as we show up at Alice's at the same time." I laughed.

"I know…it's not like I thought this through. I told you I panicked. We'll get it figured out…"

"I'm thinking we should just tell everyone. I'm not feeling the whole sneaking around like high school kids do."

"But that could be exciting." He said with an evil grin…a sexy evil grin as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him.

"Edward Cullen, we are 35 years old…well one of us will be 36 in a month." I winked before continuing. "I'm pretty sure we're too old to be sneaking around."

"We're only as old as we feel and honestly I feel like a high school kid again…feeling things I haven't felt in a long ass time." He said then squeezed my ass.

"Damn-it Edward…not moving at my pace." I said as I swatted at his hand and stepped away from him. "Besides if you're serious about keeping this…whatever it is we're doing…under wraps, you better step off since I hear little feet running down the hall as we speak."

"Okay I'm ready!" Lilly bounced into the doorway.

"Great! I have to go home and change…how about I meet you two at Alice's and Jasper's." I suggested thinking not showing up together would raise less suspicions. Edward caught on…unfortunately Lilly wasn't having any of that.

"Why can't we go together?" She said with a frown and those damn Cullen eyes. "Please Bella."

And even though Edward knew what I was thinking he was not helping me at all here. He was just standing there smirking.

"Okay Lilly. I'll meet you back here at your house in a few minutes." I said then slipped out of the bathroom making sure to give Edward an evil eye. It was his damn idea to keep this thing a secret – I try to do that for him and he leaves me hanging.

'_Sorry'_ he mouthed sheepishly.

'_Whatever'_ I mouthed right back then headed home.

After running cold water…a bunch of cold water, on my face I threw on a clean pair of a jeans and just a plain white tank-top. I threw my hair in a messy ponytail, grabbed my sunglasses and walked back out.

Today was going to be interesting. We wouldn't get five feet into the house before the shit hit the fan.

And Edward didn't seem at all concerned about it.

_You still coming? –A_

I received a text as I was walking out the door.

_On my way right now. –B_

_K. Hope it's fine, boys asked E to come. –A_

I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked as he and Lilly met me on the sidewalk.

"Alice just asked me if I was still coming and warned me you were going to be there."

_Yeah Ali that's fine. See ya in 5 –B_

"Let's go." I said as I took Lilly's hand earning a grin.

"You realize what happens next is totally your fault." I whispered to Edward.

"I know but I couldn't say no to her with those eyes…it's both a curse and gift." He smirked.

"Yeah I know that feeling." I mumbled then looked back down at Lilly who was still skipping down the sidewalk holding my hand.

The rest of the walk was silent which I was fine with. I needed it to collect my thoughts about how I was going to handle the situation that was sure to develop.

"You ready?" Edward asked right as he started to knock on the door not really giving me any choice in the matter.

"Well I guess I have to be now." I laughed as the door swung open.

"Edward!" Alice cheered then noticed me standing there right next to him. "And Bella…" She said cocking an eyebrow up at us.

"Hi Ali." Lilly said.

"Hi sweetheart. The twins are out back playing in their pool. Why don't you go join them."

"Okay." She said then skipped into the house. Alice watched her and then as soon as she was out of sight she turned back to the two of us.

"I told you." I said to Edward.

"You did…"

"Aaahhhh! I'm so happy!" She said then bounced into me for a hug.

"No Alice it's not…" I tried but it was too late.

"Rose! Get your ass in here right now!"

"What…" Rose started as she came around the corner but stopped when she saw Edward and I standing together and Alice's face. "Holy shit! Guys!"

"No…no…we're trying to keep it from…" Edward said.

"Well fuck me sideways." Emmett boomed.

"Classy Em." Jasper responded.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I'm back! Took me a little longer than I had hoped to get this posted, but I was fighting some serious writer's block. Beyond frustrating! So while I was away...I had all the excitement of two weddings, a baby shower, a friend having a baby, the class reunion, a friend's birthday party, a roommate moving in, my computer breaking, buying a new computer (which kicks ass by the way - I love this thing!) and becoming a new mother myself...to a six week old grey kitty! :-) I named her Graycie Lou. OH you know it's cute. But I did have a point in telling you that - see Graycie likes to walk on my keyboard and chew my fingers while I'm typing. I tried to find all the little mistakes she made me do, but if I happened to miss some, I apologize. I'm huge on grammar mistakes and spelling what not and I usually proof-read my chapters at least twice before posting, but while proof-reading she still attacked me. Vicious circle. **

**Refresher - we last left our happy couple right after becoming a happy couple. The drama filled Saturday is now past them and they've recently arrived at Alice and Jasper's place for a Sunday BBQ with the familes. **

* * *

_Chapter 18_

**EPOV**

"I knew it!" Alice squealed while resembling something like a pogo-stick.

"You knew what?" Bella eyed her suspiciously.

"I just woke up this morning and I told Jazz that something great was going to happen today. Of course…I also knew that this was going to happen the second I met him. Something about him I could just tell…"

"Excuse me, I'm right here." I said.

"Oh I know silly. Okay girl time! We have tons to talk about and we need details!" Alice said as she grabbed Bella's arm and started dragging her out of my eyesight.

'_Help'_ Bella mouthed with a pleading look that only made me laugh.

"Thanks a lot ass!" She said before I heard a door slam shut down the hall. That only made it worse and by this time Jasper and Emmett were both laughing as well6.

Standing there knowing Bella was going to be getting the third degree made me extremely thankful I was not a chick. I sure as hell knew I wouldn't have to go through the Spanish Inquisition with the boys…they just don't care about details…

"Sit your ass down and quit your smirking…you're not getting out of it either." Jasper said snapping me out of my wonderful thoughts about _not_ talking to them about this shit.

"What the hell? Guys don't talk about this kind of shit." I whined.

"They're not supposed to whine either so I guess you're okay." Emmett snorted eyeing me. "Seriously…tell us what the hell happened. One day you're telling us how miserable you are because she's still not talking to you and then the next thing we know you're showing up together looking all kinds of happy and shit."

"Looks it's more than a little fucked up what happened. I'll tell you two but you have to promise not to tell Lilly that Bella and I are dating…"

"Wait so you two are sneaking around like teenagers…but from your daughter instead of your parents? Oh that's just hilarious." Jasper said.

"Why are you two not telling Lil?" Emmett asked.

"It's all part of the story. Plus, she's already really attached to Bella and if for some reason Bella and I don't work out it would devastate Lilly and neither Bella nor I can handle hurting her anymore than she already is."

"Wait? Why is she already hurting?" Jasper asked.

"Ah yes…the story begins here." I sighed before going into it. "Saturday morning I was literally on my way out the door to go to Bella's and talk to her, when Tanya showed up."

"Whoa." They both said.

"Yeah well it gets worse. She showed up sporting a brand new wedding band." I said and it was at the point both their eyes bulged out of their head. "Yeah the whore went and got married without even telling her only daughter. We fought about it and then Tanya all but said she wished she wasn't a mother. That she didn't want Lilly."

"That fucking…" Emmett growled.

"Lilly heard her." I interrupted him.

"Oh please tell me you're kidding." Jasper said sadly.

"I so wish I could…more than you know. I knew Tanya was a complete bitch but I never thought she was capable of that. I just…I can't even imagine what Lilly felt…feels."

"I don't think any of us can. So what happened after she heard Tanya?" Emmett asked.

"She ran. I mean took off like a bat out of hell. Of course I knew immediately where she was. And of course Tanya followed me over to Bella's. I found them in her back yard holding each other for dear life. It was wonderful and heartbreaking all at the same time. And what really got me and confused me…Bella was crying almost as hard as Lilly was."

"Why?"

"Not my story boys. You'll have to run that question by Bella."

"What could make Bells break down like that? She's the strongest…" Emmett began but then stopped himself.

Bella was not the strongest – she was the most guarded but not the strongest. She had put up a front for everyone including herself. I was just glad she finally let it down even if it was just a little bit.

"She is strong Em, she's also just a woman who has been hurt in the past – by a boy and by her mother…and me." I said. "She is strong but she's also got a lot to deal with right now. She can only take so much before she just can't anymore. She hit her breaking point on Saturday. And that's all I can say about it." I said then continuing with the rest of how Saturday played out.

"So Tanya's out of your life then?" Jasper asked.

"As far as I'm concerned, yes. Obviously there will be a court hearing, but yeah she's gone. My biggest concern is for Lilly. I just don't know how to handle any of her questions that are sure to come up. I mean even though she heard what Tanya said, she's still going to want to know why right? And what happens if she blames herself for her bitch of a mother leaving?"

"You tell her the truth. You tell her that her mother just wasn't cut out to be a mother and it's not that Lilly did anything wrong – stress that part. She really has to know that it wasn't anything she did. Let her come to you with her questions though, don't bring it up." Jasper said.

"Man, I can honestly say I'm so glad I'm not you right now." Emmett said.

"Thanks for the support." I jabbed.

"That's what I'm here for." He grinned mocking my sarcastic remark. "So what are you doing with Bella? You said you carried her to bed Saturday night but…"

"We didn't do anything. In fact I was on the couch until I heard her crying in her sleep. We're taking everything very slow and at _her_ pace. I'm not going to put any pressure on her about anything. She's got a lot of stuff to work through within herself and I'm going to be there for her and be patient for her until she tells me what the next step in our relationship is. I have a lot to make up for, even though she tells me I don't, I do. And that will come in time as we move forward…"

"So just to be clear then, you're not fucking her." Emmett just blurted out.

The next thing I knew Emmett's head fell forward accompanied by a resounding smacking sound and it happened out of nowhere. I didn't even see all three of them appear behind him and how I missed Bella standing there is beyond me. But what I do know is that Rose had hit Emmett so hard upside his head, he'd be feeling it at least for a day or two.

"I can not believe you." Rose chided.

"Baby you know I was just messing around…"

"No you weren't. You're really just that crass." Rose said but smirked at the same time.

"I'm use to it Rose." Bella laughed and the sound of it made me smile. She seemed so happy and carefree – a huge change from this morning when she told me that her dream of being a mother would never happen. In that moment, she had looked so hopeless and sad I wanted to hold her forever and keep the pain away.

And even now I could see the ever slight hint of the underlying pain she was dealing with and I knew she was putting up that front for all of them – for me – again. But she was also truly happy at the same time.

Even through her sadness, she was beautiful. Beyond beautiful actually.

And it is painfully obvious to me that I love her more than anything in the world…beside Lilly of course. I love her to the point where, even though she's not even close to being ready for a strong commitment, I'm there. I know I'm there and I know I will never ever love another woman. If things don't work out between us, nothing will ever change how I feel and therefore…I'm in this for the rest of my life. For eternity…whether she is or not. And that is the scariest thought I've had.

"Edward?" Bella called my attention back to the room I was currently standing in.

"Huh?" I asked turning to look at her only to see her smirking with one eyebrow raised.

"Whatcha thinking about lover boy?" Rose asked.

"Nothing concerning you Rose." I laughed.

"So…" Emmett dragged out dramatically.

"Can I just say how pissed I am at that…that…ugh no word is mean enough for her." Alice finally said.

"I can think of a lot." Rose mumbled.

"None of which are appropriate with children around." Bella said.

"Yeah well my favorite one rhymes punt and I can say that and not worry about the kids hearing."

At this point we all cracked up. Leave it to Rose to find a way to say what she wanted to say without saying it.

"Daddy? What's so funny?" Lilly asked as she and the rest of the kids came walking into the living room.

"Aunt Rose was just telling us a story."

"Oh." She shrugged then turned to Alice and Jasper. "Aunt Ali? Uncle Jazz…can we go swimming in the big pool?"

"Of course." They both said smiling at her.

"Yay!" All three kids shouted.

"Jane go get one of your suits for Lilly and then wait for us to join you outside before getting in though." Jasper instructed but it was all for not. All three kids were already taking off down the hallway away from us.

"I'm so glad my daughter asked _me_ if she could go swimming." I said.

"Oh honey…she didn't ask because she knew you wouldn't say no to her." Bella said as she hooked her arm with mine. "You never say no to her."

"And she knows her Aunti Alice loves her! Oh and by the way Edward…"

"I don't think I like the sound of that." I interrupted her.

"Because you don't." Bella leaned up and whispered in my ear. The feel of her lips brushing against my ear sent shivers down my spine – in a good way.

Or in a bad way depending on how I want to look at it. It was definitely making me feel things I didn't want to feel, well I definitely want to feel them just not yet anyways. I told her I was willing to take it slow with her, and I am. I will never ever pressure her to more our relationship forward, but I'm royally screwed if only after less than twelve hours of being together I want to throw her over my shoulder and carry her off to my bedroom before having my way with her.

I'd start by laying her down and worshiping every inch of her body while she moaned out my name…

"…so make sure Lilly's available next Saturday from about seven till…"

"The end of fucking time." Emmett laughed.

What the hell did I miss?

"Shut it." Rose demanded. "We need a girls' day and that includes Jane and Lilly. Especially Lilly."

"So do you think it'd be alright Edward?" Alice asked me directly.

"Um…I dunno…" I said trying desperately to try and clear the fog of Bella's naked body out of my head and try to remember what Alice had been talking about.

"Oh come one Edward. Please." Alice started pleading with her puppy dog face. "It's only a spa day and shopping…"

"It's never _only _a spa day and shopping with you Alice. Do not lie to the man." Bella laughed.

Well at least I finally knew what she was talking about.

"Is it safe to send Lilly with her?" I staged whispered to Bella.

"I'll be there too…unfortunately." Bella said rolling her eyes but smiling.

"Oh you need this day of pampering too so just shut your damn mouth missy." Rose said.

"Yeah I don't see a problem with that, as long as Lilly wants to go. You will not force her to go with you though."

"Go where?" Lilly asked appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

"Would you like to spend the day next Saturday with the girls?" Alice asked.

"Doing what?"

"Spa and shopping…all day." Rose said. "Jane's coming too."

"Are you coming Bella?" Lilly turned to her with a hopeful expression.

"Of course I am sweetie. Aunt Alice won't let me not come along." Bella smiled brightly at Lilly before glaring at Alice.

"You act like we didn't agree upon terms." Alice huffed.

"Terms? You placed terms on your day out?" I questioned.

"Ed there's something you should know about my Alice…she's a shopping freak. It's scary. I don't think I've actually been shopping with her except for the one time – the only time. We spent eight hours – I shit you not – in one mall. One mall Edward. That's a hell of a long time, especially if you're like Bella." Jasper said.

"How you're really a girl I'll never know. You're just not right." Alice said looking at Bella.

"It's not that I don't like shopping. It's that I don't like shopping with the Clothes Nazi…and her right hand bitch."

"Give it up…we agreed to your terms. You win..._this round_." Rose said with an evil glint in her eyes.

"I get three outfit vetos…one pair of heels all day and nothing that costs more than $100 an item. Unlimited number of new jeans."

"I can't believe I agreed to that nonsense." Alice mumbled as the stamped of kids came barreling back down the hallway.

"Okay we're ready!" Jane, Alex, and Lilly all screamed at the exact same time which woke Vanessa up. "Oops. Sorry Aunt Rose."

"It's okay kids. She needs to eat anyways."

"So who's ready to get wet?" Emmett boomed then proceeded to pick all three kids up at once and head out towards the backyard.

"I'm going to go check on the food." Alice said then took Jasper's hand and pulled him out of the living room towards the kitchen.

"They're not very subtle are they?" Bella laughed.

"Not really, but why do they feel we need alone time…"

"No just Alice feels we need it."

"Why?"

"My guess would be to possibly discuss what I told the girls…or how much I told them and how much you told the guys."

"I didn't tell them about you don't being able…that's your story to tell. I just didn't think it was right for me to tell the boys that. I just skipped over that part. They obviously know there's something more so prepared for them to ask…"

"They won't. They'll wait for me to tell them. That's one thing good about the guys. Well I told the girls…that's one of the reasons for the girls' day next week. In fact it was the original reason and then when I told them about Tanya it grew to include the little ones as well. So it's my fault Lilly will probably come home with a whole new wardrobe."

"No she won't, I just won't send her with any money…" I said but stopped talking when I took in Bella's facial expression. "It won't matter will it?"

It was a rhetorical question. I had pretty much figured it out with her expression.

"And she won't let you pay her back either. I've tried. I even snuck money into her bank account with the help of Jasper…it all mysteriously reappeared in my account two days later. I don't even want to know how she was able to deposit money into _my_ account. With Alice, less questions is better."

"I've definitely figured that part out. So…are the girls okay with us…."

I'm not even gonna lie, I've been worried about how everyone will take the idea of Bella and I being together. They're very protective of her and with our history, I just wasn't sure if they'd be okay with her trusting me again. And as much as I was worried about Emmett, I knew Jasper would understand and would help with Emmett if it was needed.

Luckily it seemed I didn't have to worry about the boys at all – minus the one comment from Emmett about whether or not I was sleeping with Bella yet. I don't even want to think about how he would have reacted if we actually were already…

_And now my thoughts are right back to imagining Bella naked…and this is going to be harder than I thought controlling myself._

"They're okay with the idea but wanted me to warn you that if you hurt me, they will sneak into your house while you're asleep and castrate you."

And that's definitely something Rose would do.

"Well then, you tell them that they'll never have to worry about it since I'm never going to hurt you. In fact, I'll give them each a key to the house so they won't even have to _sneak in_."

"Um…while the thought is good, I probably wouldn't be advise giving a house key to Alice. You'll come home one day and everything will be redecorated and you will have a whole new closet full of clothes."

"I think I might like that idea though. Free decorating? You've seen my place, I'm still unpacking things and the guest room doesn't even have a bed yet…it has a sleeper sofa."

"Good point." She laughed but then she sighed.

"What?"

"The girls brought up something else that I hadn't really considered."

"What's that?"

"Telling Lilly."

"But…"

"Listen to their points, please. They completely understand where we're coming from, but they brought up the fact that Lilly is probably feeling betrayed by her mother right now…which I should have picked up on myself. But their point is, if we hide this from her now and then she either finds out on her own some time down the road or when we finally tell her, she might feel as though we lied to her and then she will feel betrayed by you – by us. She will feel like she has no one left she can trust. I can't do that to her. I can't let her feel that way. So although I don't want her to get hurt if this…" She said motioned between her and me. "Doesn't work…more to the point, if I can't make it work because let's just be honest here, I'm the hold up…"

"Bella…"

"You know if I wasn't so…messed up we would have been together a month ago and we'd probably already be fucking." She said looking almost angry about something.

What the hell could she be mad about? I'm the one that seems to be in a permanent state of arousal when she's around. I'm the only one that should mad about anything.

Especially since it just got a shit ton worse. Bella said fucking…talking about her and I actually doing it. Yeah that's not helping me at all.

"I think we should tell her…sooner rather than later."

"Okay I see their point, I do. But I just don't want her to get the wrong idea and think we're more serious than we are and…"

"You don't want her to think I'm the mommy replacement. I get it. But we can talk to her about it and explain everything. That problem is more easily solved than if she loses her trust in you." Bella said then kissed my cheek while taking my hand

"Okay…within the week we'll sit down and tell Lilly."

"Tell Lilly what?"


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Better late than never! I'm really trying to get back on a schedule but it just doesn't seem to be happening yet. Life keeps getting in the way of what I'd rather be doing...writing and reading. So, sorry for the delay (again). Thank you for all of you who are still reading faithfully and reviewing. Your reviews are wonderful as always. The amount of support for this story is amazing. You are all fabulous! I have a ton of people following through story alerts as well as quite a few of you have added me as a favorite which is good because (since I can't seem to ever shut my brain off) I have another story line brewing in my head. Not sure exactly the direction it will go but it's definitely up there. :-) **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter 19_

**BPOV**

The day had been going surprisingly well considering the circumstances. I had even caught myself forgetting what had happened the day before.

Everyone seemed to be onboard with the idea of Edward and I which didn't necessarily surprise me per say but was definitely a relief. I was nervous when the girls drug me into the bedroom for our chat, though. Not because they wanted details of how everything transpired, but because I knew I would have to tell them what had happened Saturday morning before Lilly came running into my back yard.

I wasn't sure I was ready to tell them yet. Tell anyone yet really. I wasn't even sure telling Edward already was the best idea. But I also knew I couldn't keep it a secret seeing how he was there for the aftermath.

But being nervous about telling the girls was stupid, because telling them was the best thing I could have done. They knew exactly what to say to make it better…well that was before Alice suggested – no _demanded_ the shopping trip. Little psychotic pixie.

Rose reminded me that there were other options for me. Adoption being her number one suggestion. I told her that it wasn't the same and what I really wanted was a child of my own. A child which was actually a part of _me_.

That started a whole new discussion about how that was the most ridiculous thing. Even though DNA played a part of who a child was…the upbringing and love of the parents was what truly made the child. Of course they made perfect sense and it helped me a little.

And then Alice opened her big mouth.

"You know since you and Edward are going to get married, that will mean you will be Lilly's new mom."

"Mary Alice!" I screamed.

"What? It's the truth. All of it. You and Edward will get married and then that will make you Lilly's mother…"

"Step-mother Alice." Rose reminded.

"Na…mother. You're already a better mother than the witch Tanya could ever hope to be and you just started dating her father….oh I bet Lilly is just thrilled that you and her father are…"

I had just given her a look.

"You two aren't telling her?" They both asked at the same time.

"No we think that, with what just happened to her, telling her would get her hopes up and then if it doesn't work, we'll have to break her little heart again. I can't do that to her and I sure as shit know Edward can't do it. Sooo…we've decided until we're for certain this _thing_ between him and I will work we're not going to tell Lilly."

"That is so the wrong thing to do." Rose said very sternly.

"Rose's right. She needs to be told and I would think the sooner the better. Plus there's really nothing to worry about since you two are going to get married." Alice smiled brightly.

That's when they went into their explanation about why we should tell her. And, once again, my friends made perfect sense.

I'm really starting to hate that they've somehow managed to get smarter than me.

And Edward actually agreed with me on the subject.

Together we decided to tell Lilly within the week. I'm almost positive this plan would have worked out perfectly except we had an unexpected visitor while discussing the situation.

"Tell Lilly what?"

"Uh…" Edward stuttered.

"Tell me what?" She asked again, this time a little more impatient.

"Well honey, see…um…" He said then looked to me with a pleading look.

_Men are so helpless sometimes_.

"Lilly, sweetheart, your daddy and I have something we need to talk to you about." I said as I sat down on the couch and motioned for her to join me.

"Is everything okay?" She asked nervously.

"Of course. Everything's…wonderful actually." I smiled at her then glanced at Edward who was still standing awkwardly next to us. "Sit Edward, you're making me nervous."

"Daddy's what's going on?"

"See this morning before you woke up, Bella and I discussed something and we've decided to start spending more time together."

"More time together?" She asked quietly, more to herself than us.

"If it's okay with you." I added.

She was quiet for about a minute as she looked from her father to me and then back to her father.

"Question." She said looking only at Edward.

"Anything princess."

"Are you talking about alone grown-up time?"

"Well...yes…" He said but I knew that we needed to tread softly there so I quickly amended his statement.

"And sometimes together with you. I don't want to spend all my time with just your dad…_boring_." I said as I exaggeratedly rolled my eyes for only her to see. This caused her to giggle but then go quiet again.

She was clearly pondering something but we didn't want to ask for fear of what it was.

And then all of a sudden she jumped up off the couch and started jumping up and down screaming.

"Ahhh! Aunt Alice!" She said then took off running towards the backyard.

Edward and I quickly followed.

"What's wrong?" Alice quickly asked.

"Nothing! Everything's PERFECT! It all worked just like you said it would!" Lilly said. Her smile was so big I'm not sure how it didn't cover her whole face. She was so happy with what she had just found out and that was great. I was so relieved to get that kind of reaction. Edward clearly was as well, but none of that was what I was really thinking about.

"What is she talking about Alice?"

"Yes Alice, what is she talking about right now?" Edward asked.

The other three were laughing but clearly trying to hide it.

"What did you do Alice?" I asked again.

"Nothing bad…it's just one day I was watching her and we got to talking about everyone. She's a very inquisitive little thing, you know. And she _might_ have asked if you were seeing anyone Bella. And I _might_ have told her no because you were in…because you still had your eye on one particular guy. She then asked if I thought her dad could make you forget about this other guy…."

At this Edward and I narrowed our eyes.

"And then I _might_ have told her to wish upon a star…or two…or three…"

"I did! And look…it worked! So are you like boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

"I'd like Bella to be my girlfriend if that's what she's want."

"It is what she wants." I smiled.

"Yay! This is so awesome!" Lilly screamed. "I was about to give up on the wishing thing like Aunt Alice told me about and go with what Uncle Em wanted to do…"

"Oh Lilly…" Emmett groaned as Edward and I both looked to him with raised eyebrows.

"Oops." She giggled then hugged my legs. "I'm so happy right now. Thanks Bella."

"You don't have to thank me honey." I smiled as I bent down and kissed the top of her head. "I'm really happy right now too."

"I'm glad to hear that." Edward whispered in my ear as we watched Lilly take off back towards the pool where Jane and Alex were oblivious to what had been going on.

"Okay so….Emmett…." Edward said.

"It's nothing. I had suggested to the kid one day that we strategically plan something to get you two crazy kids talking again. What was I supposed to do? The little angel came to me crying on day while over at our house asking how to make her daddy happy again and why he wasn't talking to Bella anymore."

"You send her back to her father." Edward said but without any harshness in his voice.

Obviously Emmett wasn't in as much trouble as we all originally thought he was going to be. With Emmett it's hard to tell sometimes where his ideas will lead. This one had the potential to have been horrible, but lucky for all parties involved it never got to be fulfilled.

"If I wasn't so damn hungry right now…I'd want to go home to just spend some time with you and Lilly." Edward whispered in my ear.

"Do you think we can get them to hurry it up?"

"Nope. They're gonna want us here as long as possible to get as many details out of us as possible." He laughed.

"Good point." I smiled up at him. "Speaking of details…I know that Saturday morning had to have come up with the guys while I was trapped in the bedroom with the girls…did you tell them why I was…"

"No. I didn't tell them anything about that. I figured that was your information to tell them when you are ready to tell them. They know you were crying when I found you and Lilly but I did not tell them why."

"Thank you." I said then kissed him ever so gently.

"Ooohhhh." A chorus of sounds and wolf whistles quickly followed.

"You guys are so childish." I said as I threw a towel at Emmett who was being the loudest.

"It's just great to finally see you two happy and together. It's been forever." Jasper said.

"It's been like four months since I moved here." Edward reminded everyone.

"Exactly!" Alice and Rose both said throwing their hands in the air. "From the stories we've heard from both of you…Edward via Jasper and Emmett mostly…you two have been dancing around the subject since the first weekend Edward was here. Pathetic I tell you." Alice continued.

"Pixie's got a point. Plus the sexual tension between the two of you is unreal." Rose added.

"And the jealously that radiates…" Emmett threw in as well.

"No shit! Remember the incident in the club? I thought Edward was going to rip that poor dude to pieces." Jasper said.

"I almost did." Edward mumbled.

We spent the rest of the day just hanging out watching the kids swim and playing with Vanessa. It was about as perfect as I could have hoped it to be.

As I sat at the table with my friends, I did more thinking than I did talking though. It was the weirdest but greatest feeling I'd ever had. For the first time in probably my whole life, even with the disappointing things, I was happy with where I was and I couldn't think of anything I'd change in that moment.

Don't get me wrong, I could think of things I wanted to change – eventually. And I would be working on those things. Adamantly working to get things exactly where I wanted them to be. But right now, in this place, there is absolutely nothing I'd change.

Sitting here with Edward next me, holding my hand while rubbing circles with his thumb on my palm, was absolutely perfect. I knew he was serious when he told me he wasn't going to rush things between us and that everything would happen on my timeline, and for just that confession, I wanted to give into him.

_Oh man I wanted to give into him and my desire so bad...maybe we could…_

No. I knew no matter how much I wanted to go there with Edward, I was not ready emotionally yet – hell probably not mentally ready for it either.

But I sure as hell wanted it physically.

The man was driving me crazy and he wasn't even trying! That's the worse part I think.

He had been driving me crazy the second I saw him that first day, but that's neither here nor there.

And this is where my stomach drops and I think of a reason why I can't be happy.

Edward's only here filling in for Seth…he's not staying. He'll go back to Los Angeles and leave me here. Alone and heartbroken – again. I can't do this…I can't do this to myself. I can't…no…

"What's wrong Bella?" Jasper asked being the first to pick up on my dramatic and quick change in demeanor.

I'm going to fall further in love with Edward and then he's just going to leave and go back to the life he longs for in L.A. He's not meant to stay in this small town with a private practice. He misses his crazy hectic life in the city. He'll never stay.

"Bella?" They all asked this time.

No matter what I do or how much I love him, he'll never stay for me. I'll never be enough for him.

How could I be? I'm broken, remember?

"Babe…you're scaring me. You need to calm your breathing before you hyperventilate." Edward said.

I didn't even realize I was that far along into my panic attack, but I need to get out of here. I need to get away from everyone. I have to think…

"I have to leave." I said abruptly then all but ran back into the house and out the front door.

**EPOV**

We all watched Bella leave us at the table without any kind of explanation. I was dumbfounded. I have no idea what to do…mainly because I haven't the faintest idea why she just took off.

We were all just sitting around the patio table watching the kids and talking, laughing, and then all of sudden I watched as Bella paled, her eyes widen, and her breathing picked up.

And then she just got up and left.

"Why are you still sitting here?" Rose asked.

"What should I do?" I asked completely lost.

"Chase her. Something is clearly wrong with her." Alice said.

"But what if she doesn't want to talk about it?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah…and what if she just wants to be alone right now with her thoughts? I'll just upset her if I intrude on her." I asked.

"When women are alone with their thoughts, it usually ends in over thinking things – especially with Bella. Go." Alice said as she stood up and started pulled me up as well.

"Trust us." Rose said as she started helping Alice.

At this point I really didn't have much of a choice…those two are freakishly strong.

"What about Lilly?"

"We'll watch her. She doesn't seem too eager to leave the water yet anyways." Jasper said.

"You sur…"

"GO!" Alice and Rose screamed again.

"Hell she's probably already made it to her house by now...not good Edward. You should have been behind her before she even got out my front door." Alice scolded me.

"If I get there and she's mad…I'm blaming all of you."

"Why us?" Emmett asked pointing to him and Jasper.

"Because you didn't try to argue against them."

"_That_ would have been stupid." Jasper laughed.

I nodded then took off after Bella even though I still had no idea why she was no longer with us. Which of course meant I have no damn idea what I was going to say to her when I finally got to her.

Shit…I didn't even really know where she was. I knew where to start trying to find her, but if she isn't there, I have absolutely no freaking clue where to look next.

And who's to say that if she is home, that she'll even answer the door when I knock. If she doesn't want to talk to anyone she'll just ignore the door. And then I'm royally screwed.

_Well here goes nothing…_

"Go away Alice. I don't want to talk about it. Just leave me alone." Bella answered my knock through the door. I didn't say anything, I just knocked again.

"Don't you get it? I don't want to talk about. I thought I was happy, but I should have known it couldn't be possible."

_What the fuck?_

"Bella it's me." I finally said.

No reply came from inside the house. I stood there for another thirty second without hearing anything before I lifted my hand to knock again. But I didn't have to.

I stopped mid-knock as I heard the slightest sound of a sniffle on the other side.

"Bella, I know you're standing there. Please talk to me. What's wrong, love?"

I still didn't get a verbal response, but the door did open.

"Edward?" She asked.

"Of course." I said confused as to why she would be confused to see me.

"You followed me?"

"I'd follow you anywhere."

It wasn't a lie, but she didn't have to know it took some convincing to get me to follow her this time.

"Do you expect me to follow you anywhere?" She asked.

"What? I'm so lost right now Bella. What's going on?" I asked as I all but pushed my way into her house. I know I should have waited until I was invited but I just couldn't. I had to know and I was going to get it out of her no matter what.

She didn't protest and then actually shut the door behind me and sat down next to me on the couch.

"Did I do something?" I asked.

"No…you didn't do anything. It's me. It's always me. I'm always freaking out about stupid shit…but this isn't really that stupid. It's valid. I think."

"Please…"

"You're going to leave aren't you?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not leaving…"

"Yes you are. You just haven't thought about it like I hadn't thought about it until fifteen minutes ago."

What is this woman going on about? Why in the world would I ever leave? Lilly's settled. I have a house. I have great friends. I've finally found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have a job….

_Oh…_

"Oh."

"See. You hadn't thought about it either. You're only here filling in for Seth. When he gets back, you'll go back to your fancy position at the hospital in Los Angeles and leave me. We'll spend the next eight months building this between us and then you're just going to pack your shit and leave. You know I can't leave this town. My life is this town. I need this town. I need my friends. I won't follow you to L.A. and if that's the case then_ this_ should just end now. I knew we shouldn't have told Lilly. She's going to be devastated. We haven't even been together for a day and we've realized it won't work…"

I truly hadn't even thought of that. It never crossed my mind that my life here was a temporary setting. I'm so perfectly content here in this town that it was easy to forget and get permanently comfortable here.

And of course she would panic about this situation.

"Bella I…"

"I don't need your excuses or reasoning or the 'I'm sorry' speech. I get it. I'm small town California and you're big city California. And I supposed we could to do the commute thing. It is after all only about an hour drive. That's not too bad but you and I both know we'd get tired of that after a while."

"Please, Bella, you need…"

"The only thing I need is for you to make this as easy as possible and as drama-less as possible."

What she needs is to let me finish a damn sentence.

"Bella I think you need to let me say a few things."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Can't lie...this chapter could probably be classified as a fluff chapter. A filler chapter. A stepping stone for the plot. But we all need those, right? :-)**

**Thanks as always for reading and reviewing! Love you all the support from eveyrone!**

* * *

_Chapter 20_

**EPOV**

"Bella I think you need to let me say a few things."

Well she finally stopped babbling, but now I had no idea how to phrase what I wanted to say.

"First, I think you're being extremely dramatic here. Ridiculously dramatic. You're freaking out before you even know what's going on…"

"I already know how it's going to go. You're going to tell me that you hadn't even thought about the fact that your current situation wasn't permanent and now you're going to have to go back to L.A. Go back to the life you had before me. The life you really want. You're going to tell me that we can still have fun but come next year you'll have to…"

"Would you just shut the hell up." I all but growled at her.

Her eyes went wide but then narrowed at me.

_Talk fast Cullen…_

"Bella…you're right. I hadn't even once thought about what would happen when Seth came back. I hadn't once thought about L.A…"

"See…"

"I wasn't done yet. Don't you see what that means?" I asked her as I took one of her hands in mine. She didn't say anything so I continued. "It means, I hadn't once thought about L.A. The town never crossed my mine. I was never for a second thinking about L.A. because I finally found where I belong. Where my family belongs. I want what I have here for forever. You are my forever. I wish you could see that. Understand that._ Trust_ that…shit…_trust me._"

"I do trust you Edward I just…"

"No you don't…not fully anyways. If you need we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. Please understand that I want to be here with you. I want to live in Montecito. I want the small private practice. You've made me see that. Hell everyone here has made me see that. My friendships with Jasper and Emmett are better than anything I've had with any other guys. Even my friendships with Rose and Alice are special to me. Lilly's happy here. I'm happy here. I don't want to ever move away."

"So you mean you're not going to go back to L.A. and asked me to go with you?"

I had to laugh at her.

"Yes, that's what I mean. I'm not going to go back to L.A. which means I'm not going to ask you to go with me. I know L.A. isn't your style and honestly, I don't think it fits me anymore. I'm not sure it ever truly did. I belong here with you."

"I don't know what to say…I suppose I'm sorry would be a good place to start. I'm sorry I overreacted. I can't believe I ran out of the house without explanation. Everyone must think I'm absolutely bat-shit crazy." Bella said with a slight chuckle.

And again, I had to laugh at her because she was right, everyone did think she was crazy. Even I was wondering if she was slightly crazy. She was definitely dramatic and had major trust issues, but maybe she was also just crazy.

"I love you Bella, but yeah, you acted more than a little crazy back there. You just went from happy to looking like you were going to pass out and then out you ran. Nothing said, not a damn thing. You were just gone." I laughed.

"Yeah…maybe I should see a doctor about my mood swings." She said with a genuine smile.

"Are you good then?"

"Yeah we're good. I promise not to do that again. If something like that enters my head I'll talk to you before I go into panic mode and shut down."

"Well as much as I'd appreciate that, I'm kinda hoping that thoughts like that don't ever enter you mind ever again. I'm completely serious when I tell you I never want to leave you. Ever. It would take an act of…nah not even the big guy could get me to leave you."

"You mean I'm truly stuck with you." She deadpanned but then cracked a smile. "Can we go back to the Whitlocks' now?"

"We can do anything you want. Whenever you want." I said as I helped her off the couch.

"Can I get a piggy-back ride then?" She giggled.

"Did your mood really just do a 1-80 like that? I'm a little scared of you right now." I said but gave her the piggy-back ride anyway.

**BPOV**

"So…what do _you_ want?" Alice asked as we stood in line at Starbucks.

"Tall mocha like always." I said not taking note of her facial expressions or tone which if I had been would have told me she was not asking me for my drink order.

"No shit Sherlock. I meant what do you want from your relationship with Edward?" She said rolling her eyes at me.

"Alice…" I quickly scolded looking around for Lilly and Jane.

Sure Lilly knew that her father and I were in a relationship of sorts, but the type of answers Alice was wanting are not something Lilly…or Jane should hear.

"Jesus Bells, where has your head been the past five minutes?" Rose laughed. "The girls took off and are playing right over there."

"Oh." I said as I followed her line of sight to the play area behind us across the corridor in the mall.

"Serious where were you?" Rose asked again but not so rhetorical this time.

"No way bitch, my question first." Alice huffed.

"Could this line move any slower?" I asked ignoring both of their questions.

I didn't want to answer Alice because I wasn't totally sure on my feelings yet…okay I knew my feelings for Edward. Those had never really changed, I just buried them. I wasn't sure how I felt about the direction or the route we were taking. I wasn't sure about my issues.

And let's be honest that's exactly what Alice wanted to know.

She wanted to know where our relationship was physically. Where I was mentally with the whole situation. She wanted the _other_ dirt not if I loved him…she knew that already.

I just wasn't admitting it to him yet…again. I know I told him that day in the yard when I _meet_ Lauren, but I haven't said it again. I haven't confirmed that those are my true feelings to him.

I didn't want to answer Rose because to answer Rose, I would have to admit that I had been daydreaming about him and that would just play right into Alice's line of questioning and why I'm stuck in this mall listening to endless chatter about designer this, designer that…

The shopping trip that was originally (or supposedly) planned as a day out with the girls as a healing method for both Lilly and I had somehow turned into, or finally showed its true colors as, a shopping trip to get me a whole new wardrobe that would entice Edward even more and a whole new wardrobe for Lilly because 'Edward has no sense of style for a little girl and obviously her mother is shit' according to Alice.

I was not happy with them right now so I tuned them all out and thought about the past week with Edward.

Monday morning I walked into my office to find a bouquet of flowers on my desk along with a note telling me not to plan anything for lunch – for the whole week.

I tried to talk to him about keeping up professional appearances at the office on Tuesday, but was cut off when he stole a kiss. Which continued for a good five minutes.

Angela walked in on us making-out on his desk on Wednesday. I thought she was going to bust from excitement. We explained to her that we didn't want to make a huge scene over it. She understood that it was a professional office building and there was no reason to tell the world.

Thursday was a day to remember. Jessica asked Edward out on a date while I was standing there looking at a file. Facial expressions like the one Edward had are the definition of 'priceless'.

He tried, unsuccessfully, to turn her down professionally all the while not telling her about me. Each time she had some comeback for his excuses. It wasn't until I couldn't contain my laughter any longer that Edward had lost control.

"Jessica…I'm fifteen years your senior…in some cases that makes me old enough to be your father! I am not interested in you…never will be!"

"But you're not seeing anyone. You haven't since you moved here. Just one date…I know you won't be sorry." She said flirty as she trailed her hand up his thigh and was dangerously close to an area that I hadn't even explored since college.

"Whoa…" Edward said grabbing her hand. "Dr. Swan is standing right behind you, you know."

The way Jessica had tensed up, no she didn't know I had been there, even if I had been laughing.

"Well…I'm sure she understands my attraction to you. She is after all a woman. Now back to…"

It was at that point I walked up to Jessica and started speaking in a hushed tone so no one else would hear.

"Miss Stanley, having been here for this whole display of inappropriate office behavior…and as much as I enjoy the entertainment of watching my _boyfriend_ sweat it out with you hitting on him…you are dangerously close to a sexual harassment charge being filed. Not to mention my foot being firmly shoved so far up your ass that you'll have to have it removed surgically. I had hope for you…pack your shit and scamper on out of here."

And with that I had walked away and back to my office fully expecting Edward to follow. He was practically on me before I even got the office door open.

Friday we hired a new receptionist who promptly walked in on Edward and I making out on my desk.

"Whenever you two are finished, both of your 3:00s are here." She said smirking at us. "Oh and Dr. Swan…I have cover-up in my purse for that beauty on your neck. Dr. Cullen…I'm impressed."

And with that she shut the door.

"I think I'm gonna like her." Edward laughed.

"Heeellllooooo…..Earth calling Bella." Alice said waving her tiny hand in front of my face.

"Oops." I laughed.

"You were gone again. You've got to spill now." Rose demanded.

"That loving must be something amazing…"

"We're not doing that." I quickly interrupted that thinking.

"WHAT!" They both screeched earning about 30 pairs of eyes.

"It's only been a week."

"But it's not like you just met him." Rose said.

"No…well in a way I have. He's a different person now. We've been through that. Plus I'm not ready for it. I'm still working on some things in my head. I still need sometime…"

"He's not going to ever hurt you. Hell…if it was up to him you'd already be married." Alice laughed.

"Maybe, but taking the next step is huge for me. If I go there with him again I'm officially fully letting him _again_. I don't know if…"

"You're stupid." Rose said.

"I know." I sighed.

"Bella!" Lilly called as the three of us appeared at the play area where she and Jane were. "Check this out!" She yelled again as she did a cartwheel.

"Wow! Very cool. Now let's get going so we're not here until the stores close….even if Aunt Alice thinks that's what's going to happen. Your daddy will be worried about you if we're gone all day."

"Okay." She shrugged then the five of us proceeded to continue our journey through the mall.

"Bella?" Lilly asked on the car ride home….four hours later.

"Yes sweetie?"

"My class is putting on a show next week…will you come?" She asked almost nervously.

"Of course. When is it?"

"Thursday at 6. Daddy can give you the details." She perked up with my answer.

"I'll ask your daddy when we get back to Aunt Alice's then."

We knew the boys would be spending the day together at Jasper's since we took all the girls with us, including Vanessa so that's where we headed to from the mall.

What we weren't expecting was for them to have made dinner for everyone. Of course they weren't expecting us come walking in with a total of about 30 bags either.

"Holy mother…did you girls leave anything at the mall?" Edward asked.

"Only the ugly stuff." Alice laughed.

"Daddy! Guess what?" Lilly said as she set down the one little bag she carried in.

"What princess?"

"Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose and Bella bought me a whole new wardrobe! It's pink!" She beamed up at her father.

Edward choked on his drink.

"A whole new what?"

"Wardrobe silly. New clothes…duh Daddy." She laughed. "Aunt Alice said you didn't know one thing about dressing a seven year old girl so she was going to make it impossible for you to mess it up…but she didn't say mess it up. She used a grown up word and it made me laugh, but Bella yelled at her for saying it. And we played and we went to Starbucks and a spa and Bella agreed to come to the show next week and I got new shoes…"

Well she just snuck that right in the middle of everything. And Edward caught it judging by the raised eyebrow and quick glance my way.

_Why would she do it that way? Tricky little thing. Did Edward not want me to go?_

"Hmmm…all that sounds wonderful sweetie. Now what was that about Bella agreeing to come to the show next week?"

"Oh well…I really want her to go and see my show. I thought she could be like your date or something…she said she wanted to go. Please Daddy she can come can't she?"

"If it's really what Bella wants…"

"I want to go Edward." I spoke up. "I just need details so I know what it's all about."

"Well it's a 50's themed show so they'll all be dressed the part and singing the songs."

"That's really cool for them to do something like that for the community…"

"It's for the parents only."

And now I understood why he wasn't sure about me going and I now also understood why Lilly wanted me to go so bad and why she lit up like the north star when I agreed.

"Oh."

"If you're not comfortable with going because it's for the parents then I completely understand…and so will Lilly." Edward said looking down at his daughter, who actually looked a little sheepish, yet still hopeful.

I also took this time to notice we had been left alone in the living room.

"If you both want me there, I'd love to go to the show and watch you dance around in a pink poodle skirt." I smiled.

"THANK YOU BELLA!" Lilly said hugging my waist. "I love you." She said then ran off to where I assumed everyone was.

"Bella…" Edward said once we were alone again.

"Edward don't. I don't mind, truly. I'm thrilled she wants me but I'm worried about what she really thinks us dating means. I know we tried to explain to her that it wasn't serious and that we weren't…do you think even though we tried that she still managed to get it in her head that we are going to…that I'm going to replace…shit. I don't know how to say this."

"Then don't say it. I know what you're thinking and what you're worried about and I totally understand, but I don't think we need to worry about anything. If this past week hadn't gone down like it did, she still would have wanted you there. I know this for a fact. She idolizes you. It's the damnedest thing really." He chuckled. "And I want you there. I want to share this with you, but if you don't…"

"Would you stop. I want to go. I just want to make sure you're okay with me going to a parents' function on Lilly's school."

"I'm more than okay with it. You have no idea how okay I'm with that." He said then kissed me deeply.

The only thing that stopped it was that we needed to breathe.

"So…" I said trying to catch my breath.

"So…how many of these million bags are yours and Lilly's?" He said nervously.

"Hmmm…probably about 20 of them with the majority of them being Lilly's because unlike her, I say no." I said then laughed at his expression. "Don't worry…I'll help you get it all straightened out and what not."

"I'm not worried about that. You guys spent way too much on Lilly. You have to let me pay you back."

"Alice won't take it and neither will Rose. And I sure as hell won't take it from you. Your money is my money in a sense anyways. My practice pays your bills as it is." I smirked then walked away.

"Our practice…I'm acting partner remember." He said chasing me down.

"Yeah but until that sign on _my_ door reads 'Swan and Cullen M.D.s' it's _my _practice and Seth's." I said as he caught up to me finally. He turned me around to face him and then walked me backwards into a wall.

"Why is your name first?" he whispered.

I leaned up on my toes to whisper in his ear but on my way up to his ear I trailed my lips along his jaw line earning a marvelous shiver from him.

"Because…I'm the better doctor." I finally said then ducked out from under his arms and into the kitchen where everyone else was standing around.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hello! Talk about hitting a road block...my creative juices have all but quit flowing for this one. This chapter was horrible to write. Leaving on vacation tomorrow so I felt like I had to get something out tonight since it's been so long between posts and I knew I wouldn't be able to write or post for the rest of the week or weekend. I'm sure the fact that I put a deadline on myself is why I had trouble writing it and I'm hoping that after vacation my mind won't be so frazzled from life and I'll get back into the swing of things and get this story wrapped up. We're getting close now which is sad. But if you know me (and if you've been following me from my first story I'm sure you do), I already have another idea. I'm really excited about it too. I haven't read anything like it on this site before so I'm hoping to make it one for the record books. Of course, I will not be revealing anything about the next story until the end of this one. Just like to tease you all! :-) **

**Don't hate me too much on this one. It's shorter than my others and if I'm being honest - I don't feel like it's good enough, but I needed it here to lead into the next couple. Be kind. LOVE! **

* * *

Chapter 21

**EPOV**

As much as I love my daughter, I can confidently say I really kind of dislike her right now. Honestly, I was hoping Bella would say no to the invitation to attend Lilly's school's program.

Not because I don't _want _her there, but I just don't know if it's the _right _thing to do so early in our very new and not exactly concrete relationship.

This little show the school was putting on is for the parents of the students. Bella is not a parent and it worries me that Lilly has taken it upon herself to invite Bella to this.

I know we've just discussed this briefly but I'm still not sure about it. I know I told Bella not to worry about Lilly's motives or mind set, but the more I think about it the more I worry about it – which I know is ridiculous.

I also can't shake the feeling that Bella is fibbing to me about being comfortable on going. I know what she _said_ to me, but did she only say because she knew it's something Lilly really wanted?

I don't want her to feel pushed into something she's not truly comfortable with.

But she's a big girl and if she doesn't want to do something she's not going to do it, no matter who wants her to…

Or would she? She adores Lilly and you can tell just by looking at how Bella interacts with her that she would do anything for her or to keep her from hurting.

_Like a mother should…_

"Is she asleep?" Bella asked as she cuddled up next to me on my couch.

"Yeah she's out like a light. Eyes closed as soon as her head hit the pillow." I grinned as I put my arm around her.

"One good thing about spending time with Alice and Rose at the mall…definitely sleep soundly that night."

"That is so very true." I smiled relishing in the comfortableness of our current seating arrangement.

But I knew I needed to ask her how she truly felt. Now that we were officially alone for the first time all day, I needed her to tell me exactly how she feels about going.

"Bella…" I began before she cut me off.

"Edward, I know what you're going to ask. I don't know how many times I can tell you this, but I really want to go to her program next week. She seems really excited about me going and I don't want to let her down. Plus I think it'll be really fun."

Okay so she admits she's going partially because Lilly wants her to go and she doesn't want to hurt…but what about the whole situation it will throw us into? Has she even thought about that?

"Right but about it being for the parents of the students…is that going to make you feel weird being there?"

"Not even a little bit. I can almost bet you I will not be the only girlfriend in attendance."

"Are you sure? I really don't want you to feel uncomfortable…"

"Quit worrying. If I thought it would be awkward of any reason, I wouldn't go. I promise I don't feel pressured about attending and I promise it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable." She smiled and kissed me – hard.

"Well I can't argue with that." I smiled back.

"Hmmm…I am worried about something though…"

"Shit…"

"No it's nothing bad…I know you said not to read too much into why Lilly wants me there so bad but I can't help it."

"Me too and I'm the one that told you not to read too much into it. I don't want to say anything to her and then get her mind thinking that way. I believe maybe we should wait and see where this goes with her and if she does anything else." I said then tightened my grip around her.

"Maybe you're right." She said through a yawn.

"You need to sleep." I stated then began to pick her up and carry her upstairs. I was a little surprised when she didn't argue with it, but I sure as shit wasn't going to say anything.

Monday morning at work was slow for me and allowed for thinking and that's never a good thing.

After getting everything reassured with Bella, another worry entered my mind and this one I couldn't shake for anything.

Tanya.

She had said she was going to give up her parental rights, but as of today she had not returned the signed papers back to my lawyer yet.

I was dealing with a major case of "bad feelings." I just had that gut instinct that something was going to happen soon and I knew it would involve Tanya and/or her mother

Ah yes…Midge. She was being very insistent, that even though her daughter was obviously a horrible person, that as Lilly's grandmother she wanted to still be able to see Lilly.

I couldn't deny her that even though I really wanted to, so I promised her that she would still be able to see Lilly. This made Lilly happy – very happy. It made me a nervous wreck.

Since Midge wanted to see her granddaughter, Lilly had told her about the show her school was putting on for the parents.

Did Midge tell Tanya?

Would Tanya show up at the show? Would she do such a thing?

_Of course she would…she's a bitch_.

Okay, so she could do it, if she didn't value her life at all. I know I still have more than a few choice words for her and something tells me that, when it comes to Tanya, Bella hasn't even scratched the surface of her feelings towards my ex-wife.

Bella could slaughter her with just words…

_God that would be hot…and now I'm not going to be able to concentrate the rest of the day._

"Excuse me, Doctor Cullen?" Angela said as she poked her head into my office.

"Yeah Angie?"

"Sorry to interrupt you, but you have a visitor in the lobby?"

"But I don't have any patients until later this afternoon?" I asked confused.

"No sir. It's not a patient. She said it was urgent though."

"Who is it?"

"She refused to give me a name, but she's tall, blonde, a real bitch…"

"Fuck…oh sorry Angie." I apologized for my language but only earned a chuckled form her. "Can you show her back here to my office?"

"Of course…may I ask…"

"I believe you just described my ex-wife. Oh and Angie if at all possible, can we try to make sure Bella doesn't see that Tanya is here? I really don't want to bail my girlfriend out of jail today." I laughed.

"I'll try Edward." Angela smiled before she ducked back out of my office.

So my gut wasn't too far off…a little off on timing but still Tanya has decided to show her face.

Now I have to figure out why Tanya is here at the office and what the hell she wants from me. I had hoped that I'd never have to see her again and all communications would go through our lawyers.

Maybe though, if she's here today then she won't show on Wednesday night.

That would be a huge relief.

"Hello Edward."

How did I ever live with the sound of her voice? It's worse than nails on a chalkboard.

"Tanya." I said curtly not standing up from my chair or offering her a seat across from me. She took it anyways.

"I have something I believe you want." She said fanning herself with a giant manila envelope.

"For your sake those better be signed custody papers."

"They aren't signed…" She said then paused long enough to make me think she was done with her sentence which also gave me time to have an emotional breakdown. "…yet." She finally added on.

Now I was just madder than hell.

"What do you mean 'yet'?" I asked narrowing my eyes and standing up leaning against my desk gripping the edge to keep myself from strangling her.

"I talked with my lawyer and with his expert advice, I've decided I have a few demands before I sign these papers."

"Demands? Like what?" I asked still mad but a little more nervous.

"Hmm…well first off I'd like to request a form of monetary compensation."

"You want fucking money!" I yelled. "You want _money_ to stay out of my daughter's life!"

"If you want to look at it that way…sure. I also want…"

"You'll _need_ the number to the local mortuary if anything else comes out of you mouth."

Well I suppose having Bella tell Tanya off here is better than in the middle of the gym at Lilly's school.

"Sorry to interrupt, but when I asked Angela who you were in a meeting with and she looked everywhere but at me, I figured the whore was here." Bella said then smiled sweetly at me.

"Who are you calling a whore?" Tanya screeched.

"Ladies…please…" I said trying to defuse the situation. As much as I wanted to tell Tanya to fuck off, I knew Bella would and seeing how we were currently in our place of business, I wasn't so sure it was appropriate.

I knew the attempt would be in vain…but hey.

"Shut up Edward." Tanya said to me then glared back at Bella.

"I really don't know what you're about to say but you probably better not. I want to remind you everything I've been witness to since Edward stumbled back into my life. You were too busy with your boyfriend to watch Lilly and she ended up in the hospital. Against prior court orders you went off on tour and left your daughter with Edward to care for. You all but disappeared during this time without so much as a phone call. You reappear after months of being M.I.A. only to reveal that you're now married to said boyfriend. And then have the audacity to demand you see your daughter but that was before you basically said she was a mistake that you wanted nothing to do with. Your _husband_ is a drug addict…"

"You don't have proof of that…"

"Don't I?" Bella asked in defiance raising an eyebrow at Tanya. "Edward's not going to agree to monetary compensation or whatever else you were going to try and bargain with. Go ahead and refuse to sign the papers. We'll see you in court when Edward sues you full non-visitation custodial rights."

"I'll do it Tanya. My lawyer is only a phone call away." I threw in there because even though I truly thought Bella never looked sexier, I felt kind of worthless letting my girlfriend fight my fight with my ex-wife. "I will not pay for you to stay out of Lilly's life, but I will pay my lawyer to keep you out of it."

Tanya pulled the papers from the envelope and signed them and I thought she was going to leave without any other words.

That was stupid of me to think that.

"You'll never be her mother." Tanya hissed at Bella.

"I'll never _try_ to be her mother, but I can promise you that whatever I end up being to Lilly, I'll be better at it than you could ever hope to be a mother to her." Bella retorted as she opened the door and motioned towards it.

"You know, he'll just get what he wants from you and move on. I'm not stupid, if it wasn't for Lilly he would have left me years before we actually split. He's a player Isabella…always will be. You're not woman enough to change him…I wasn't so what makes you think you are?" She said then chuckled.

I could tell just by looking at Bella's eyes, that even though her facial expression gave away nothing, hurt and self-doubt were abundant.

_Say something Cullen…damn-it…_

"Tanya…_you_ weren't woman enough because Bella's always be the _one _for me. You're right, if it wasn't for Lilly I would never had married you. I can promise that. I can also promise that nothing she can ever do will ever make me leave her. One other thing I can promise you…as of the second you walk out of that door, you will never see me or _my_ daughter ever again." I said then slammed the door in her face.

"I know you've said it before, but it's the first time you've said it to someone else. Did you mean that?" Bella asked me wide eyed.

"Of course I meant it. I've told you. I love you, whether you're there or not, and I plan on spending the rest of my life with you. You're it for me." I said then kissed her forehead. "Oh and Bella, one other thing…I have told others that, just not in front of you."

"The boys?"

"Actually the girls." I laughed. "Are you okay?"

"Of course? Why wouldn't I be?" She asked.

"I know you better than you think. I know exactly what emotions ran through you when she spouted that bullshit…and you knew it was bullshit but you believed it for just a split second."

"I'm sorry." She sighed.

"Don't be sorry, just tell me what I need to do to make you never doubt yourself or my feelings for you."

"You're doing it. I promise. It's just me and my issues but even just in this past week…I think I've got it handled…" She said as she wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned up on her tip-toes to kiss me.

"I love you." I said as I deepened the kiss.

"Edward I…" She said as she pulled way from me.

"I understand if you still aren't there. I know you care and that's all I need…"

"Why must you always interrupt me?" She smirked. "You totally ruined my moment."

"Uh?"

"Edward, I love you too."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I do exsist! I promise! :) Sorry for the delay here. I've been saying it the past few chapters, but I just don't have the creative juices flowing right now. Plus I'm insanely busy at work so when I get home I just want to crash which means all my house chores get pushed to the weekend, leaving me no time to even attempt to write something. **

**With the holiday I was finally able to just sit down at my computer all day and crank something out. It took me 2 complete days of sitting here but I got something to you. **

**Thanks for sticking with me while I'm push through this "dry spell". It's greatly appreciated. **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Much love~**

* * *

Chapter 22

**BPOV**

"Damn-it Alice Whitlock!" I yelled at the tiny annoyance but she still just continued to throw things out of my closet without even acknowledging the fact that I yelled at her.

"Bella, you know it's absolutely pointless with her." Rose laughed.

"Yeah well you're no fucking help…just letting her go through my shit."

"I've learned…"

"Oh stop pretending that if you weren't changing Nessie right now you wouldn't be throwing shit around either." I glared.

Her response was to simply smirk and shrug.

"I thought you were my…" I started again but was cut off when Alice let out a high pitched squeal.

"I found it! It's perfect for tomorrow night." Alice said as she pulled out a simple summer dress. It was a light yellow silk material that would hang effortless to my curves. It was beautiful. "I knew when we got this for you that you'd need it soon."

It was too much for a year end school program.

"Alice, I already told you. I'm wearing jeans and a nice shirt. I'm not wearing a dress to this. That's just making it more formal than it really is. I promise Edward is probably wearing jeans."

"You have to wear this." She whined.

"No I don't. I'm wearing jeans. Now find me a shirt to wear with my black skinny jeans."

"Oh…the really tight pair?" Rose asked and I nodded. "I like the way you think Swan."

I just rolled my eyes because I was _not _thinking the way Rose was. I just really liked those jeans – okay fine…they did make my ass look fantastic but that wasn't my original idea.

"Fine." Alice huffed then turned around a grabbed the shirt at her feet. "If you're insisting on jeans – at least wear this."

"Hmm…think it's too much for…"

"NO!" They both yelled as Alice threw the red halter top at me.

"You'll pair it with those cute red shoes I bought when we went shopping with the girls. They'll be perfect for this event." Rose said.

"I'll fall on my ass. I can't walk in four inch stilettos like you two can."

"Ever more the reason for Ed to hold on to you all night." Rose winked.

"You two are…"

"Perfect?" Alice threw in there with a grin. "He won't know what to do with himself when he sees you…"

"But it's a school program for crying out loud. It's not a date!"

"No but…you will be staking your claim publicly for the first time, correct?"

Alice might have actually had a great point there. I hadn't even thought of that before. Every woman in this town was well aware of Edward and his status of single father. Hell…I had been an unfortunate witness to a few occasions with patients – and of course the whole Jessica debacle.

"Not that you have to worry about Edward straying. That man is hopelessly in love with you. It's written all of his face. It's no wonder he's willing to wait until you get over this born again virgin shit you're going through." Rose smirked.

"I'm not going through a born again virgin thing." I said narrowing my eyes at her. "I just want to take things slow with him…"

"Why? You've already fucked him once…"

"_Ten years_ ago Alice. We've been through this too."

They weren't giving up on this topic. Every time we'd been together just the three of us, they found a way to bring up that fact that I wasn't sleeping with Edward yet. They could just not believe I wasn't jumping his "fuckhot ass" every night.

In my own crazy mind it all made perfect sense. I felt that starting fresh with Edward was the only way to go and to do that I had to forget that we had already had sex once.

Forgetting sex with Edward Cullen though is like forgetting your own birthday.

Impossible.

_Gotta stop thinking about it though…gotta stop thinking about Edward naked and ready for me to…_

"Oh…she's totally picturing him naked right now." Alice giggled.

"Fuck."

"Why deny it any more. His birthday is coming up right?" Rose asked.

"Yeah actually…June 12th so like a week or something. He'll be 36 I think…"

"Plan something special with him."

"That's a great idea Rose." Alice chirped. "I can see the whole scene now…you'll surprise him with a home cooked dinner and then…"

"Alice…stop…_if_ I do anything for his birthday, neither of you are helping me plan anything. Not involved at all – not one single detail. I will do it all without your help. _If _I do something." I said sternly. "Now…I have to get ready to meet Edward and Lilly before the show."

"We get the hint. Have fun tonight. You'll look great. Tell Lil 'good luck' from her aunts and we'll want a full report tomorrow."

"Whatever Rose." I said as I kissed Vanessa on the top of her head and then hugged my friends. "I'm serious girls. Nothing…don't even hint to your husbands that you might want to try and get something set up for us on his birthday. I know you both too well and you dropped that subject too quickly. Please don't do anything."

"Okay we promise." Alice said then they left.

I still didn't believe them and even if they didn't do anything they were going to bug me until I made my decision on what I was going to do for his birthday.

I was definitely going to do something, but I had no idea what. I did know it was coming up and it was on Saturday.

The problem…wait….no not a problem because she could never be a problem. How would I work with Lilly on this? Would she be a part of the celebration?

_That's a stupid ass question Bella…_

Of course she'll be a part of it, but if I want any alone time with Edward, I won't feel right with Lilly in the house. Not that I'm even sure I'm ready to take it to the next level with Edward. We haven't even had a date yet.

How messed up is that? We've both told each other we love each other, but he hasn't taken me to dinner or anything.

Why must any relationship I get in be completely fucked up from the very beginning? No wonder I'm a total spaz. I make everything more complicated than it ever should be.

Than it ever needs to be.

I love him. He loves me.

What else should I think about?

Oh yeah…how sleeping with him will push us up to that next level.

_But you're basically already there just without the good part._

"Argh!" I screamed to only myself. "I over think everything. It's a flaw of mine." I sighed then went to get ready for the show.

After getting ready for the program, I walked over to Edward's to meet up with him and Lilly.

Edward answered the door and I literally licked my lips. The first thing I noticed was the scent…pure Edward. Only one man smelled like that he was a damn Adonis.

For some reason Edward's hair was crazier than normal – looking more like he just rolled out of bed after a rough session in the sack. It was gorgeous and made me want to grab it.

After I was able to tear my eyes away from his hair and face, I got stuck on the way his shirt fit just right to show off his muscles in his chest and upper arms. The dark blue – almost black button-up shirt succeeded in making me want to rip it right off of him.

And don't even get me started on the jeans. I hadn't even seen his ass yet, but I could promise you that it looked amazing in those.

You know the fit I'm talking about, right? If the front view is this wonderful then you damn well know the ass view is even better.

_Oh well hello there…_

Yes the front view was beautiful.

"You look…." Edward breathed and that's when I realized that I had been standing on his front porch ogling the poor man for a good minute or so, of course with that front view I could pretty much tell you that Edward had been doing the same thing to me.

I didn't even think I looked that special. Yeah okay, the jeans were supper tight and the halter top amped up the cleavage but it wasn't disturbing or slutty. Of course the shoes made my legs look about four inches longer than they truly are and we all know that men can't seem to control themselves when it comes to sexy shoes on a woman.

"Those shoes are…"

See.

"Do you have a shoe fetish Edward?" I teased because if I didn't I was going to jump his bones in the doorway with Lilly in the other room.

"Fuck…I didn't think so but…"

"Bella!" Lilly yelled as a blur of pink and white attacked me.

"Hi sweetie." I said as I returned the hug. "I love the poodle skirt."

"Thanks! You look pretty tonight Bella. Doesn't she daddy?"

"You are so right princess." Edward smiled. "Are my two favorite girls ready to go?"

"Yep!" Lilly chirped before running towards Edward's car.

"You do look absolutely…sinful…tonight." Edward lustfully whispered in my ear then kissed my cheek as he somehow managed to close the door behind him.

"I could say the same about you." I said breathlessly. His response to my obvious difficulties was a cocky smirk.

In the car Lilly talked nonstop about the practices leading up to the show tonight and how many more friends she was able to make since it involved the whole grade and not just her class. She talked about the music and how she was beyond excited about getting a solo.

That earned an eye roll from Edward. He's obviously not thrilled that his daughter inherited his ex-wife's singing talent and passion.

"You can sing too, remember?" I whispered to him.

"Yeah but she's got the drive that her mother has for it."

"Is that really a bad thing? So she likes singing. It's not the end of the world. She's nothing like that…_woman_. Except for a few traits I know aren't from you, she's your clone. It's wonderful." I smiled.

"…and I'm super excited about tonight too because Grandma Esme and Grandpa Carlisle are coming to town to watch me sing. And Grandma Midge will be there. I wish Aunt Alice, Uncle Jazz, Aunt Rose, and Uncle Em could come too, but I could only invite direct family….and of course that includes you Bella since you're daddy's girlfriend. Tonight's going to rock!" She finished right as Edward pulled into the parking lot at the school.

I glanced over at him and he looked nervous and like he was about to puke.

"You okay?" I asked as I gently touched his arm.

"Are _you_ okay?" He asked peering over at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay?" I laughed because I obviously knew what he was worried about, but I thought it was too much fun to see him worried about it.

I'll be honest though, until Lilly mentioned the grandparents, I hadn't even thought of the possibility of them...any of them…being there.

I know that's what Edward's currently worried about, but I don't know if it's more because of Esme and Carlisle or it's because of Midge.

I haven't got a problem with any of them being there. In fact I'm happy they're going to be here for Lilly.

"Sorry I didn't tell you that my parents would be here…or that Midge would be here. I wasn't even sure until right before you showed up that Midge was going to be there. I had to make sure she wouldn't bring _her_ with her though and that might have been Midge's hesitation. But I knew Esme and Carlisle would be here, I know I should have told you but I thought if I told you, you wouldn't come with me and that would have devastated Lilly."

"I love your parents Edward and it's been so long since I've seen them. I excited about the reunion actually. And Midge – well…just because her daughter is someone I wish I could hire a hit man for doesn't mean I don't like her. From the little interaction I've had with her, see seemed okay. Of course that was before her daughter turned over all parental rights to Lilly and I started dated you." I said and then started chewing on my lower lip.

"Midge already knows about you and me. I told her but I have not told my parents about us or the fact that Lilly no longer has a mother – from a legal point of view."

"Oh fabulous Edward." I sighed but smiled to let him know that everything was truly going to be okay.

"Are you two freaking coming or what?" Lilly asked with her hands on her cute little hips as she stood beside the car.

"What have I told you about using that word?" Edward asked.

"That it's a bad word and young ladies don't use it. Sorry daddy." She said which seemed to appease Edward. He turned his back to lock the car and as soon as he did, Lilly rolled her eyes, which made me laugh and then of course made her smile widely.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked me smiling.

"Nothing. You wouldn't understand." I said as I took Lilly's hand and we started walking towards the door.

"Thank you for not telling on me Bella."

"It'll be our little secret. But your daddy is right. That is not a pretty word and since you're so pretty, you should only use pretty words."

"Okay." She smiled.

As the three of us walked inside, Lilly was in the middle of use but was only holding my hand. She was still chatting about the program and how good it was going to be so I was trying to pay attention to her, but I couldn't help but notice all the looks we were getting.

I knew we would get some stares, but this was pushing going into ridiculous.

"Why are people staring at us?" Lilly asked looking up at her father.

I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted to stop walking and bend down to her level and tell her that people were staring because they're nosey busy-bodies who don't have anything better to do with their time besides look at the woman who is dating the most eligible bachelor in town and who has apparently been introduced to his daughter.

It was stupid. We're just another couple. There is nothing odd about our situation. He's a divorced single father. I'm single as can be. We're neighbors. We started dating. It's expected, right?

I wanted to tell Lilly that they're just jealous because I got the "fuckhot" doctor in town from L.A. that has the cutest daughter. I wanted to tell her that they're jealous because we're obviously happy and they're not.

"They're just jealous sweetie because you're so adorable in your 50's outfit." A melodic smooth voice said from behind us.

It may have been roughly 10 years since I'd seen her but I knew who it was. It took Lilly less than half a second to drop my hand and turn around.

"Grandma!" She squealed as she gave her a huge hug causing Esme to laugh which of course was a perfect laugh.

"Hello Edward." Carlisle said shaking his son's hand.

They were exactly how I remembered them. Edward's hair was clearly from his mother's side. His eyes as well. But his stature was definitely from his father.

Esme is a petite woman, probably about the same size as Alice, but with the bronze like hair and bright green eyes. She is absolutely timeless. It wouldn't matter what year it is, this woman will always look like she belongs.

Carlisle was the older man every woman fantasized about. The Sean Connery of the surgical world. At any age, woman would fawn over him. He stood about six feet with grey hair. Last time I saw him, it was still blonde. His blue eyes hadn't changed at all and he was still charming as ever.

If this is what Edward was going to look like at sixty, I wasn't going to complain at all…

_Whoa…wait…did I just acknowledge that Edward and I would be together in thirty years?_

"Mom, dad, you remember Bella from college, right?" Edward said bringing me back to the hallway of Lilly's school.

I smiled and looked at both of his parents extending my hand to Carlisle first.

"Well of course. It's so good to see you again." Carlisle smiled back as he accepted my hand.

"You too Mr. Cullen."

This of course earned me a raised eyebrow and shaking of the head. "Carlisle."

I nodded in response, knowing I'd never do it. I then turned to Esme only to see her beaming from ear to ear with a wonderful sparkle in her eyes. Her green eyes brighter than they were just a second ago.

I went to extend my hand to her as well, but instead was met with a wonderful motherly hug.

"Oh dear, it's great to see you. I'm so happy he's found you again." She said in my ear.

"Thank you Mrs…." I didn't even get it out before she was shushing me.

"Don't you dare. It's Esme…or by the look in my son's eyes, feel free to start calling me mom." She said then pulled out of the hug leaving me completely silent.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: What better way to start the new year than with a new chapter! Umm...yeah sorry, yet again, for the delay in postings. I promise to try harder on getting the next one out to you. I had a four day weekend for the holiday and I had every intention of posting this Thursday and then Friday came and I spent most of my day at a car dealership buying a new car (woohoo!) and then of course Friday night was spent out for the New Year celebrations. And then...poof! It's Saturday. But I've got it up and it's longer than the past few I've posted!**

**I'm still hoping to get at least a really good start on the next chapter tomorrow. I'm obviously not out on the town tonight as it's 11:30 here and I'm home...haha...so I should be able to get an early start tomorrow. My football team doesn't play until 4:00 tomorrow so yeah...it's looking good for at least a nice start on the next one.**

**I've gotten more love on this story each time I post and I'm hoping everyone stays with me for all future stories (there's plenty more craziness in my brain). Adore you all! I hope everyone has a wonderful 2011 and it brings you nothing but happiness and love. **

* * *

**Chapter 23**

**EPOV**

I had no idea what my mother had just whispered to Bella, but if Bella's current state of shock was any indication – I don't think I like what was said. My mother has no filter and most of the time I wish she did.

"Um…well…" Bella stuttered.

"It's a gift. I know my son and I know I'm right."

"Grandma what are you talking about?" Lilly asked. I watched as Bella stared wide-eyed at my mother looking like she was trying to convey something to her. My mother faintly nodded then looked down to Lilly before answering her.

"Grown-up talk dear." Esme said kindly.

"I hate it when adults do that. I can't wait to be a grown-up so I can know what everyone is always talking about." She said crossing her arms.

"Oh dearest little one…you wish no such thing. Being an adult comes with so much drama and responsibilities and…I wish I could be seven years-old again." My father said as he picked his grand-daughter up.

"Will you tell me what they were talking about Grandpa?"

"I wish I could, but apparently I'm not even old enough to get in on this one." He laughed.

About that time I glanced up and spotted Midge walking into the school. I knew I needed to fill my parents in on the situation before Midge approached but I wasn't sure if having Lilly around to explain everything was the best option.

I jerked my head towards the direction of Midge hoping to get Bella's attention. It only took her a second to catch on to what I was pleading her to help me with.

"Hey Lilly, let's run to the bathroom real quick and I'll touch up your hair." Bella suggested.

"Hmm…okay!" She said cheerfully as my father set her back down.

As soon as I knew the girls were out of ear shot I turned to my parents.

"Okay what's going on?" My mother quickly asked. I glanced up to see that Midge was only about a hundred feet away.

So this would be the Cliff Notes version.

"Quick and nasty – Tanya signed her rights away to Lilly. She no longer has anything to do with _my_ daughter. Midge is still coming tonight because I don't feel like I can punish her because her daughter is a complete and total selfish bitch." I said in one long breath.

"I need more details that that Edward Anthony." My mother chided.

"And I promise you'll get them later…trust there's plenty to discuss." I said hushed as Midge approached. "So glad you could make it tonight." I greeted her.

My father raised his eyebrows silently telling me that we would in fact be finishing that conversation later.

"Thank you for letting me join you tonight Edward." She said then acknowledged my parents. "Nice to see you again Esme, Carlisle."

"Likewise." Both my parents answered.

"How'd you manage to get here without Tanya knowing?" I asked before I could stop myself. I had a feeling it was probably a mistake.

Midge narrowed her eyes and I watched as her features turned icy as she stared me down.

_Yes the question was definitely a mistake._

"I'm not happy about this situation anymore than you are Edward. I will never be able to forgive my daughter for what she pushed you in to. But I have never had to lie to my daughter in order to see my grand-daughter…before tonight. Tanya believes the program is tomorrow night and she was planning on crashing it and attempting to make a fool out of you. I wasn't going to lie but once she told me the only reason she was planning on coming I felt I had to do it for Lilly. Our little girl has been through so much as it is, I didn't feel she needed a scene to unfold at her school."

"I appreciate your concern towards Lilly." I said trying to defuse the tense atmosphere.

"I'm only here for her. I understand why you did what you did Edward, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

"I understand Midge. I truly do…"

"Do you Edward? Do you know what it's like to choose between your daughter and your granddaughter? Because that's what I did tonight. That's what I'll do anytime I go to something for Lilly."

"Midge…" My mother started to say but was interrupted by a blur of bronze hair and pink poodle skirt.

"Grandma!" Lilly happily sang out as she hugged Midge around the waist.

"Hi sweetheart." Midge said glancing at the rest of us before smiling down at Lilly. "I'm very excited to see you perform tonight."

"Me too Grandma! Thanks for coming." She said then looked up for the first time since she grabbed Midge.

With no delay at all between her looking up and the image reaching my brain, I could tell my daughter had been crying. Her eyes were slightly redden and puffy, but not so noticeable that anyone besides myself might see.

It appeared that she was also wearing just a touch of makeup now, which might explain why the redness was dulled.

I chanced a glance at Bella who had just rejoined our group and saw nothing but concern on her face.

Yes my daughter had been crying. But she was currently grinning and excitedly explaining the whole program to Midge for the hundredth time however her green eyes still showed something sad in them.

"Go get seats. I have to go backstage now." Lilly grinned at us as she practically shooed us into the auditorium.

"Good luck sweetie." My mother said hugging her.

"I know you'll do wonderful, princess." I said to her before taking Bella's hand and following Midge and my parents.

"I love you Daddy." Lilly said as she latched onto my legs keeping me from walking any further.

"I love you too." I said to her, anxiety lacing my tone, as she released me and then took off in the opposite direction.

What had happened in that bathroom? She left with Bella the cheerful seven year old that brightens every single one of my days, but returned a sad girl hiding behind a mask.

"She broke down on me as soon as we walked into the bathroom." Bella whispered as she tightened her grip on my hand. I quickly snapped my head in her direction waiting for further information. "Edward, she's not as strong as she's putting out to everyone. I didn't know what to tell her."

"So what did you tell her? You obviously said something as she's put up that infamous Swan defensive wall to hide behind."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that." She said as she jerked her hand out of mine.

I didn't mean to _say_ that. I shouldn't have even thought it. I knew better than to think it. But that's the thing, I wasn't thinking straight and before I could stop, it spewed out of my mouth.

"Bella…" I said as I desperately tried to fix my error.

"Edward, we are not discussing this here. This is neither the time nor the place for this."

"But we _need_ to. I didn't mean it…"

"No you meant it; you just didn't mean to say it." She sighed. "Look, I'm pissed you said it, but I understand you're worried about Lilly. It doesn't excuse that you've just totally been a complete asshole to me… for you to think that I would tell your daughter to 'suck it up and put on a brave girl face, pretend like her mother isn't the scum of the earth' hurts me. Hiding has done nothing but hurt myself and I see that error. I would never tell Lilly to hide her emotions."

"So what happened? What did you say?" I was now full on worried about Lilly again. Something had my daughter upset. Something that made her cry and I hadn't even asked what yet. I had a pretty damn good idea what it was, but I had to make sure it wasn't anything else in addition. The fact that she hadn't broken down – aside from the day in Bella's back yard secretly had me concerned. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't kind of expecting the emotional crisis.

I knew we should already be in our seats, but I had to know and if she didn't tell me now we wouldn't get another chance until after my parents left and Lilly went to bed. I was not waiting that long.

"What…" I started to ask what she said, but stopped when she rolled her eyes at me.

"I just told her that everyone here tonight loves her dearly and will never leave her. I told her nothing would make any of us leave her. And then I dried her tears and calmed the redness. Good thing Ali dressed me and insisted on the purse otherwise I wouldn't have had the makeup." She chuckled. "The conversation is not over though. She needs for you talk to her. Tonight if at all possible."

Of course she was right but I have no idea how to have a conversation like this with anyone.

What if she doesn't believe me and is still worried we will all leave her and that everything is her fault? What if she thinks I'm lying to her?

"She won't think that you're lying." Bella said as we walked through the doors to find my parents and Midge.

"Did I voice that concern out loud?" I questioned thinking I was losing my mind.

"No, I could read it on your face." She said as she took my hand. I was relieved to find that she had seemingly forgiven me for my accusing her of something she would never do, but that was short lived. "Don't think you're off the hook for your little comment though. I've not quite said what I want to yet." She said with an evil glint in her eye right as we got to where everyone else was, making it impossible for me to say anything back to her.

"Bout time you joined us in here. I was beginning to think you two snuck out for some quick…" My father said but couldn't finish it before my mother slapped him upside the head.

The production was wonderfully put together for considering it was 2nd graders. They had put together dance sequences as well as the songs.

Lilly's solo was the highlight of the evening…and not just for me, but for everyone it seemed. She did a cover of _Jim Dandy_ which was hilarious yet shockingly amazing. I had no idea my daughter could sing that way. She belted out that heavy rhythm like it was written for her – or like she was a young black woman.

She received a huge round of applause when she finished and I could see the joy finally overpower the self-doubt and sadness. She was happy on the stage and there was no denying it. No uncertainty what she would be doing with her life.

"She's a natural." Bella whispered in my ear as we gave the final round of applause.

It was the first time she had spoken a word since we had sat down.

"Kind of scary in fact." I laughed.

"Better get used to going to lots of plays and choir shows." She finished before we left to find Lilly outside the backstage area.

Once we found Lilly, Midge told her how wonderful she was on the stage before leaving us for the evening.

I couldn't hide my slight relief to have her leaving for the evening. I know she didn't do it on purpose, but her being there had made the whole atmosphere intense – part of that was my doing, but as it was, I felt a huge relief when she walked away from the five of us.

"Can we go get pizza for dinner?" Lilly asked me as we started out towards our cars.

"In celebration of your performance, we can go anywhere you'd like." I smiled down at her.

"Yay! I want to go Giovanni's, please Daddy!"

"Is that okay with you guys?" I asked my parents.

"Yes. We're planning on following you home anyways." My father responded. This was his way of reminding me that we all still had a lot to talk about. I knew my parents deserved more detail and before Lilly had her breakdown, I was fully prepared to give them the details they were wanting. Now I just wanted to have a heart to heart with Lilly.

She deserved that more than my parents deserved details. At least that was my thought process.

"Maybe they'll leave early enough that we can have some alone time." Bella whispered in my ear as she got in the car.

The combination of her warm breath on my skin and her words sent my brain spiraling out of control down to the gutter. The one place it should not be right now.

This woman was trying to kill me right now. She knew I needed to talk to Lilly tonight. She knew I needed to talk to my parents tonight.

_Did Bella mean that she was ready to…_

I should not be picturing Bella in my bed begging me to just take her anyway I please.

This was bad…but it was good – very good. Or at least on a certain level it was good. I shouldn't be thinking about sex right now though. I should be thinking about how to handle the situations ahead of me tonight.

Damn that woman for getting me all flustered.

"Edward?" My mother's voice broke into my disturbing thoughts, which gave me the chills again. Sex thoughts being interrupted by your mother? Not something you ever want to happen.

"Huh?"

"Are you going to get in your car and drive to the pizza place or should Bella take your car keys and drive?" She asked laughing. It was then I realized I was standing outside of my car after shutting the door for Bella.

Bella, of course, was sitting in the passenger seat turning red from holding in her laughter.

Lilly was oblivious in the backseat, just chatting away to Bella about the show.

My mother and father were both looking at me like I had lost my mind.

"Yes. See you there." I said quickly before jogging over to my side of the car and jumping in. "Sometimes I think you're a vixen disguised as an innocent doctor." I whispered to Bella.

"Who told you I was an innocent doctor." She whispered back as she licked her lips before gently biting into her lower one.

Apparently she's gotten over being mad at me completely now.

"These mood swings are making me dizzy." I mumbled to myself, then prayed didn't hear me.

She seemed completely oblivious to it so in response to her I just narrowed my eyes.

What the hell had changed from the beginning of the show to the end of the show?

"Daddy!" A little voice whined from the backseat. "Go Daddy. I'm hungry."

"We're going princess." I said then took off towards the restaurant.

Dinner was, thankfully, uneventful. I was thoroughly distracted as it was so I definitely didn't need anything else on my brain.

By the time we were done eating and back in the car, it was well past Lilly's bedtime. In fact she crashed in the backseat before we even got out of the parking lot of the restaurant.

"Guess you'll be talking to her tomorrow." Bella laughed.

"I can honestly say I'm relieved about that. I have no idea what to say to her." I sighed.

"Let her lead the conversation. She'll ask you want she wants to know." She said as we pulled into my driveway. We got out and I was in the process of getting Lilly out of the car when my parents pulled in behind me. "And ideas with how to handle these two?" I asked her.

Her response was a beautiful but teasing laugh.

"Edward Anthony." My mother said as soon as she got out of the car.

"Mom…please wait until we get in the house." I said as I opened the front door.

"Well chop chop." She said with a smile. My father just shook his head.

"I'll take Lilly up to bed." Bella said.

"Can you carry her?" I asked before handing my sleeping daughter off to Bella.

"Of course I can. She's a freaking twig." She responded as she easily took Lilly from me. "I'll hurry back down. I promise."

And then she was up the stairs leaving me with my parents.

"Um…let's go to the living room." I suggested then showed them the way.

"I'm ashamed of you." My mother said out of the blue. I turned on her with my mouth wide open in shock. I had no idea how to respond to that. "Your house is barely decorated and you've been here months. No child of mine should have an undecorated house."

Relief washed over me. She was only talking about my lack of interior design. She would of course be sidetracked by my bland motif.

"I've sort of had other things to worry about since moving in. My first concern has not been whether or not to paint my living room." I said as we sat down.

"Esme, if I know our boy, I'm sure he was hoping he wouldn't be in this house much longer." My father said.

"I'm not moving back to L.A. when Seth returns if that's what you mean." I quickly corrected his assumption.

"I know that son. That's not what I was referring to. I'm well aware that you're not leaving Montecito any time soon – never if it's left up to you. I was thinking more that you would be moving into a different house."

My mother laughed in understanding.

"Maybe one just right there." She pointed to Bella's house.

"The thought has crossed my mind." I said knowing there was no point in lying to my parents.

But why are we discussing Bella? I thought they wanted to drill me about Tanya?

"How does Lilly feel about Bella?" My mother asked.

All I could do was smile. The first memory that flashed in my head was the hospital when Lilly first met Bella and they made their play date plans. The second was my picture.

I stood up and walked over to a drawer where I kept the picture I snapped of them sleeping in Lilly's room. It was the only way I could think of to start everything.

"She adores Bella." I said as I handed them the picture.

My mother actually started tearing up.

"When was this taken?" My father asked.

"The night that really started the whole Tanya thing." I said as I flopped back down on the couch.

From that I told them everything. I started with the hospital, although I'm pretty sure they had heard the story before. I ended with the day Tanya showed up at our office.

At one point Bella came back down stairs and joined me on the couch. She helped with the details I couldn't give about the day Tanya showed up unannounced at the house, and she offered details about why she herself was crying in the backyard already.

When Bella told them she couldn't have children of her own, my mother glanced back down at the picture which she was still holding and got teary eyed yet again.

This action caught Bella's eye and then she insisted on seeing the picture.

And then we had two crying women on our hands.

After it was all said and done, my parents were furious to say the least at how the whole situation went down. I was caught off guard to find them mad at me as well.

Mad for keeping them in the dark from the get go.

My mother more than my father, but that's her nature. I didn't let it get to me. I knew she would be upset with me. She wished I would have called her the day Tanya showed up married.

Her embarrassing words were "you came immediately to us when Bella sent you into depression, why didn't you come to us for this?"

This started a whole new conversation that enlightened Bella to a few things that happened when we were in our not speaking phase for weeks due to Lauren.

My response…"because I love Bella."

That got a wonderful reaction from mother.

I'm pretty sure if Bella hadn't mentioned the fact that she couldn't have children, my mother would have started picturing more grand-children. I could see the conflicting emotions in her eyes.

The four of us sat around until well after midnight talking. Not just about Tanya and Lilly, but about life. About everything.

I felt like a family again.

My parents never liked Tanya, so family gatherings were tense to say the least. Just relaxing with them at my house with Bella curled into my side, was nothing I had ever experienced previously.

I had only ever let two girls meet my parents. Tanya only after we found out she was pregnant. Bella, because I just wanted her to.

The signs were all there for me in college.

"I'm sorry again." I said to Bella after my parents left. We had just said goodbye to them and shut the front door.

"Sorry for what?" She asked with concern in her eyes.

"I know I've said it many times over. But I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. I messed everything up in college and I seem to have a problem doing things right now as well. I'm sorry I let you go in college…"

"Edward. You did not really _let me go_ in college. I shut you out, remember?"

"I could have tried harder."

"You could have, but I would have pushed you away harder. I'm putting the past behind me, I really wish you would too."

"I'm trying. But it's constantly staring me in the face."

"Only because you're looking at it too." She sighed. "Edward, we both fucked up ten years ago. We've forgiven each other, but we aren't forgiving ourselves. We need to do that. I need to forgive myself for shutting you out. You need to forgive yourself for hurting me. In doing this we'll truly leave it behind us."

"I know." I said as she took my hand.

"Then please try to do it. That little comment you made at the show tonight about me telling Lilly to hide her emotions, hurt me. A lot. I'm not going to pretend it didn't. But you had a right to say it. That's what I thought about during the show. I would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed. I can't be mad at you for something I would have done too." She let out a humorless laugh.

"I shouldn't have…"

"Forgive yourself Edward. I've forgiven you." She said again. "If we can't move past things that, in the big picture, don't mean anything, we'll never work."

"But I hurt your feelings…_again_."

"But you weren't you when you said it. I'm sure I'll hurt your feelings sometime too. We're not perfect Edward. We make mistakes…us more than most it seems." She said then moved closer to me. "I love you Edward and that means all of you, even your mistakes."

"I love you too Bella." I said right before she surprised me by kissing me. Passionately kissing me. Her hands were in my hair and mine somehow found their way to waist where they were gripping her tightly, holding her to me.

I needed to breathe, but I didn't want to stop the kiss I had needed all night.

I'm pretty sure I would have just let it go on until I passed out from lack of oxygen, but Bella moved her lips from my mouth to my ear.

"Take me to bed." She breathless whispered.

I needed nothing else.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I'm currently iced into my home...that's right not snowed in...iced in. Ridiculous I tell you. But what that means for you is that I got a chapter written! **

**WARNING!: Lemon ahead. :)**

* * *

Chapter 24

**BPOV**

What am I doing? Okay, I mean I know _what_ I'm doing. I'm letting Edward carry me up the stairs to his bedroom. But why am I letting him do this? Am I ready for this? Are _we_ ready for this?

Physically, hell yeah I'm ready for this. But emotionally? Am I ready for this emotionally? Am I ready to take this to the next level?

What will happen if Lilly wakes up? Can we do this with her just down the hall?

Is this the right time for this to happen?

"You're thinking again." Edward said in my ear with a slight laugh as he managed to get his bedroom door closed, me still in his arms. I hesitated to look up him knowing that my eyes would reveal everything, but as I took a deep breath I glanced up into his eyes.

And in that second, I saw everything I needed to see. All my questions were answered or rendered pointless.

We were there. We were ready for this step.

"Bella? Is everything okay?" He spoke again, but this time with a slight worry tone. He set me down on my feet at the end of his bed and took my hands. "Please tell me what's going through that head of yours."

"Nothing." I smiled.

"Something was."

"Yes, something _was_, but now it's not." I said as I leaned up on my toes and kissed him.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked as he broke the kiss.

"Yes." I said then kissed him again as his hands worked their way to my waist and snaked under my shirt to the bare skin of my sides.

"May I?" He breathed against my cheek before nibbling on my neck effectively rendering me speechless…well except for the moan that escaped my mouth. "I'll take that as a yes." He finished as he gripped the hem of shirt and pulled it over my head leaving me standing there in my black lace bra and jeans.

"Edward…" I sighed as his hands once again found their way to my waist and his lips to my shoulder…collar bone. My mind was turned to complete mush with the combination of his warm kisses and his cool breath that I didn't even notice that his hands had made their way to the button and eventually the zipper of my jeans until I felt him graze my bare thigh with his fingers as he gently began sliding my pants off.

I heard his breathing speed as he continued to reveal more of my body to him. The fact that his reaction to me was that evident made my confidence swell.

Once again I was thanking Alice for insisting I ware the matching bra and panty set. At the time I told her she was insane, but now I see the pixie knew what she was doing.

"My God Bella you're so…perfect." He said as he stared at me. "I've never seen anything more beautiful than what I'm seeing right now. My memories, my dreams, haven't even come close."

"Mmmm…let's see what my memories have left out, shall we?" I said as I started unbuttoning his shirt, kissing his bare skin as I exposed it, moving slowly down his upper body, eventually ending up on my knees in front of him. I looked up him from my place before reaching for his button on his pants.

In the process I grazed him through his jeans which earned me the most magnificent sound I had heard in 10 years. A sound I didn't even realize I was longing to hear again until I heard it.

Edward moaned my name.

"Say it again Edward." I said as I worked his zipper slowly down. "Say it again." I said again as I started pulling his pants down – with his boxer briefs.

My memories definitely were lacking…or he had gotten bigger since college.

I needed him. I needed to taste him. So before I even had his pants to his knees, I had him in mouth.

And it got him to say it again.

"Ugh…Isabella…baby…" He moaned as he wove his fingers into my hair. "God…shit…fuck. You need to stop." He finally made a whole sentence but it made no sense. "If you don't stop now, we'll never get any further than that."

I smiled up at him from my position in front of him before kissing his head one more time making him growl. I ignore the growl and continued to work his pants to the floor allowing him to step out of them.

"Now come here, you vixen." He said as he effortlessly picked me up off the floor and over to his bed. "You have far too many items covering you still."

He made quick work of the bra and underwear, finally making us both naked in front of each other for the first time in 10 years.

As he openly stared at me, I returned the favor by appreciating what hovered above me. I let my hands trace what my eyes couldn't see and every inch of his body was amazingly beautiful.

I couldn't wait any longer than I already had and I had a feeling if I let him, he'd spend the entire night just starting at me. So I gently brought my hands up his back and into his hair pulling him down to my lips. Instead of kissing him though, I traced his lips with the tip of my tongue before gently sucking on his lower lip.

"Please Edward. I need you now." I whispered.

He didn't respond with words but instead with actions. He broke from his staring trance and started peppering my skin with kisses as he worked his way down to the only place I needed him in that moment.

His fingers slowly circled as his tongue did the same applying just enough pressure to drive me insane, before he thrust one of his fingers inside unexpectedly.

The moan that escaped me probably should have been embarrassing but I really couldn't have cared in that second.

"You're so wet for me Bella. Are you ready for me?" He asked as he inserted another one of his long fingers.

"Fuck…yes…" I said as I brought my hips forward to meet his hand. "Please…"

He worked himself back up my body, pausing briefly for the first time at my breasts, before he made it back up to my lips and gently kissed me. My hands found a place in his hair again and we continued kissing until he abruptly stopped and rested his forehead against mine.

"Bella…I…" He said then stopped and closed his eyes cutting off my view of what he was feeling. Before that though, I saw the fear. "I want this to be perfect for you…for us…but I…it's been so long for me."

"Please don't worry about something like that. We're together and that's all that matters." I said then kissed him quickly. "Make love to me Edward."

He returned my kiss and continued it as he slowly guided himself in. Once he was fully sheathed inside he stopped all movement.

He was already breathing heavy so I knew he needed the moment to calm himself. I myself needed the second to adjust to him but now I was ready so I moved just a little bit.

This caused what sounded like a moan mixed with a growl to escape his chest.

"Damn Bella…"

"Please…" I begged yet again and moved. I needed friction and thankfully he finally gave it to me.

He started out slowly and like his body had the magic key to mine, I was pushing the edge in a matter of seconds. My legs wrapped tightly around him, heels digging into his ass, my hands gripped his upper his arms.

Maybe it was because I was going on almost a year of no sex, or maybe it was simply the fact that it was Edward, but I was there and found myself falling over that proverbial edge.

"Shhh baby…gotta be quiet." He grunted out. I nodded my head and bit my lip to keep from making any more noise, but apparently this action caused Edward to have a hard time keeping quiet. "Fuck Isabella…"

"Ugh…faster Edward."

"I can't…any longer…"

"So close again….come with me baby." I whispered and then watched as he let go completely.

I thought Edward was perfect, but Edward while he orgasms is the most perfect thing in the world. His neck muscles tighten, his eyes darken to almost black, and the moan…the moan almost made me climax again.

We stayed connected, while he stayed above me supporting his weight on his arms, neither one of us wanting to break that bond just yet.

"I love you Isabella." He finally whispered between breaths and kisses.

"I love you too." I smiled but that turned to a frown as I felt him pull out. I instantly felt like something was missing. Like a part of me had been taken from me.

"Shit…" Edward said as he all but fell to the side of me. "Umm…we forgot to use…"

"We're both clean and it's not like we're going to get pregnant." I sighed trying to not let the thought upset me too much. Edward didn't verbally say anything or try to comfort me, all he did was pull me close to him and hold me.

And as much as I wanted to stay just like for the night, we had a seven year-old just down the hall that could come busting through the door at any point in time so after a few minutes of him holding me, I started to remove myself from his grip.

"And where do you think you're going? I know you don't think you're going home." He said as he gripped me tighter.

"Clingy much?" I chuckled. "I'm going to put on some clothes just in case Lilly wakes up and decides to barge into your bedroom." I said as I stood from the bed.

"Are you sure you can't just always be naked?" He asked as he watched me go over to his dresser.

"Pretty sure." I said as I pulled out a pair of his gym shorts and an old football jersey. "Mind if I wear these?"

"Not even a little bit." He replied as he watched me get dressed. As soon as I was fully covered he found his boxer briefs and pulled them on then climbed under the covers waiting for me to join him again.

Once I did, I curled into his side with my head resting on his chest. He protectively wrapped his left arm around and held me. It was the safest I'd felt in my life.

We fit together and it felt like nothing could tear us apart. I was here for life and my heart knew it as well as my brain. I was finally where I was meant to be.

It all made sense to me at last. I thought Edward and I were supposed to be together in college, but that Edward wasn't the same Edward that held me now. Even though he was different with me back then than with any of the other girls, he still wasn't _this _Edward.

Him holding me now felt different than him holding me years ago. Now was our time. Then was not our time. We were fated to spend that evening together but now we were fated to spend our lives together.

My heart was ready to fully take this relationship on. He finally held my everything. As of that moment, Edward fully held my heart. My walls had all finally fallen at his feet.

As I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face I snuggled closer to the man that held me knowing that I was home safe.

**EPOV**

She wasn't talking, but her actions spoke a thousand words. I don't know what went through Bella's mind that helped her make her unknown decision as I carried her to my room, but whatever it was it had made my life unbelievably ideal.

I'm not talking about the sex…although that was definitely a perk of the evening. No, I'm talking about how the feeling of our relationship changed. Something intangible, but I felt it nonetheless. From the second she told me she was sure, I'd never felt more connected to her…to anyone…ever before in my life.

This evening confirmed one thing for me. Isabella Swan was my forever. She was where I was meant to be. Wherever she is and where I have to be.

My memories of the night we shared so many years ago are crystal clear. When I remember it, I remember everything there is to remember about. The way she smelled, the way she felt, the way she moaned. Absolutely everything.

But tonight – tonight I felt love. Tonight would eclipse all past memories of the time we'd shared. We started over tonight. Tonight was our fresh start.

"I will make you my wife someday." I whispered before gently kissing her forehead and falling asleep.

After only a few hours of sleep, I woke up later that morning to a very sullen girl standing next to my bed.

"What's wrong Lilly?" I asked as I tried to wake myself up completely. She didn't answer she just climbed up in bed sitting next to me. I glanced over at Bella who was now also awake and staring like a deer caught in headlights. "Are you okay with Bella staying the night?"

"Yes." She quickly answered.

"What's wrong then sweetheart? Bad dream?" Bella asked and received a nod of agreement from my daughter. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I dreamt that you left us and then daddy left me too." She sniffed. "I don't want you to leave us Bella. I love you. My daddy loves you too. And I can't lose my daddy too. My mother doesn't love me…she doesn't want me. Am I bad girl? Do you not want me too?"

"Oh Princess." I said as I took her into my arms and held her trying to calm down the crying fit. I exchanged a glance with Bella trying to communicate that now was the time that Lilly and I would be having our conversation.

And like the angel she is, she knew exactly what I needed.

"I'm going to go downstairs and start your breakfast before school." She said then stood up from the bed and quietly made her exit.

"Princess…look at Daddy." I pleaded and luckily she did, but her tears all but tore me apart. "I love you more than anything in this world. I couldn't leave you for anything or for anyone ever. I am never letting you go. Your mother…"

"She's not my mother." Lilly said sternly.

"Okay. Tanya has always been a very selfish woman and the only good thing that came out of her being in my life, is you. You are the greatest daughter anyone could ever hope to have. Nothing that has happened is your fault sweetie. You've done nothing wrong and you could never do anything to make me leave you and not love you anymore. Please understand that."

"I do Daddy." She nodded with a slight smile. "Can I ask a question?"

"Anything." I answered. I should have known that my daughter would never ask a question I was prepared for though.

"Is Bella going to be my new mommy? I want Bella to be my new mommy."

"Well…we love each other very much, but we'll have to wait and see what happens between us. Adult relationships are very complicated sometimes."

"Aunt Alice says it's only complicated because you two are making it that way. I'm not sure I understand why she thinks that, but that's what she says." She said then hopped off my bed and walked towards the door. "I love you Daddy."

"I love you too Princess." I said as she walked out the door and down the hall to her bedroom to get ready for school. I pulled on a pair of shorts and headed down to the kitchen.

I turned the corner to the kitchen and had to stop and stare for awhile. Bella was standing at the stove making pancakes, slightly moving her hips to some unknown song that was apparently playing in her head. My shorts which had to be rolled at the waist to stay on her, were dangerously short now and my last name was spelled across the back of the jersey.

It was the sexiest thing I'd seen…even more so than the matching bra and boy shorts she was wearing the night before.

"See something you like?" A voice I was not expecting to hear before 8 in the morning on a weekday said behind me.

"Holy crap Jasper what the heck are you doing here?"

"Bella called and wondered if we could take Lilly to school today. I guess you two need to get to the office pretty early and since we're headed that way anyways…"

"You had sex!" Alice staged whispered as she came bouncing into the house behind her husband who was now slack jawed. "I can tell…you're both glowing!" she finished quite a bit louder.

"Jesus Alice…why don't you get a yard sign and advertise it to everyone in the neighborhood." Bella whipped around from the stove to glare at her best friend and actually caused Alice to cringe a little.

"Sorry." She said sounding like she really meant it. "I'm just so excited for you guys. I mean it's about time…wait until Rose knows."

And just like that she was bouncing back out the door with her phone in hand. Rose was outside within a minute. I was too embarrassed to say much of anything so I just stood there, red faced.

"Okay…well on that awkward note thanks to my wife…we'll be going now. Lilly!"

"Uncle Jazz!" She yelled as she flew down the stairs and into his arms. "Are you taking me to school today?"

"Sure am."

"I haven't had breakfast yet so can we stop and get McDonald's on the way? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Of course we can. Let's go. Ali is waiting for us outside."

And just like that Jasper, Alice, and Lilly were gone.

Rose however was now in the house wanting details. Much to her dismay though Bella dismissed her with the excuse of us needing to get to the office. After Rose left though, I was treated to round two in the shower.

And she didn't have to be quiet this time.

After the morning though, I wasn't able to see Bella until the weekend. It seemed every woman who was pregnant decided to give birth on Thursday and Friday leaving us both in and out of the hospital for the next two days. When I was there after hours, she watched Lilly for me, but it's not like we got personal time.

After only two days, I was craving her again which was a sign of a dangerous situation. With Lilly, the amount of alone time Bella and I were going to get was going to be very little. I was going to have to start attempting to control myself around her. Not starting this weekend though. This weekend would be our first official date.

But I had no idea what to do or how to pull it off. I needed a plan. An assistant.

"Alice Whitlock." Alice answered her phone – a sure sign she was with a client.

"Alice I need your help planning something for Saturday night."

"I was waiting for your call." She said with what I can only imagine was an evil grin. "I've got the perfect idea for you."


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Sorry for the time between posts yet again. I'm really trying to get them to you quicker. I hope you enjoy this one! Remember this story has an 'M' rating for a reason. ;-)**

**As always thanks so much for the support and the reveiws have been awesome! LOVE YOU GUYS!**

* * *

Chapter 25

**EPOV**

Saturday afternoon, I called Bella and told her that I was taking her out to dinner. Our first real date. I would be picking her up at 7:00 to make our reservations.

With Alice's help I was able to secure last minute reservations at Bella's favorite Italian restaurant in Montecito. We were able to get a private table on their patio in their garden. I'm not sure how Alice worked it, and honestly I really don't care how she managed it. All I knew was that I had to make sure this night went completely perfect.

Of course, Bella can't just let someone run the show. She had to ask a hundred questions about where we were going, why I was picking her up; "Why can't I just walk next door and meet you?" was her reply to me picking her up.

"Could you have given me any shorter of a notice?" She complained. "I have no idea what to wear; I need to know where we're going, what we're doing…"

"I've got it all figured out for you." I answered right as I knew Alice was walking in her front door. "See you at seven, love."

I didn't get a response from Bella. I got a response from Alice. "She'll be waiting."

And then the line went dead.

I was beginning to worry that maybe even if the date was perfect, that Bella would never forgive me for sending Alice in as reinforcements.

At 4, I took Lilly over to the McCarty's only to find Emmett, Jasper, and the kids there.

"Rose was commandeered to assist in your master plan." Jasper smiled as he took a long pull from his beer.

"I see…so she'll probably hate me even more so than when it was just Alice." I sighed.

"Nah…she'll hate you the same." Emmett laughed. "What is your plan anyways? Alice wouldn't tell us."

"Because she knows you can't keep a secret." Jasper laughed.

"I'm just taking Bella out for dinner. No big deal." I shrugged.

"The nicest Italian restaurant on their garden patio is a big deal." Jasper said smiling.

"She told you!" Emmett whined. "This is totally unfair."

"You'll get over it big guy." I said before giving Lilly a kiss on her head.

"Are you leaving now daddy?"

"Yes. I have to go and get ready for my date with Bella."

"Okay. Have fun!" She enthused as she hugged me tightly. "I'm so happy for you daddy." She finished before she took off to find Janie and Alex.

"I'll see you guys sometime tomorrow then. Have fun tonight with the kids." I waved as I walked towards the front door.

"Don't do anything that you wouldn't want to explain!" Emmett shouted as I started out the door. "Ow Jazz!"

"Kids Emmett." Jasper scolded.

I just laughed at my two best friends as I continued on back to my house to try and settle my nerves.

Tonight is not only a huge deal because it's my first official date with Bella, but it's my first date since I dated Tanya. Basically eight years out of the dating scene? Might as well be a century.

I know I shouldn't be nervous. It's Bella for crying out loud. It's not like there was that chance of awkward silences. But what if I did something to royally fuck everything up – _again_?

What if this restaurant thing is too over the top for a first date? What if she thinks I'm trying to hard?

What if she would have rather stayed in for the night?

For the next two hours, I busied myself with cleaning the house…I felt like I was on speed with all of my nervous energy.

The restaurant isn't formal by any means, but it's definitely nice and I had absolutely no idea what to wear. I felt like a chick standing in front of my closet trying to figure it out.

"Oh why didn't I get Alice to help me instead of Bella…?" I sighed as I went through my clothes for the hundredth time. "This fucking su…"

"Good thing I'm here then." Alice's musical laughter filled my bedroom from behind me causing me to jump. Not only had I not heard her enter through the front door, I never heard her come up the stairs. "Didn't mean to scare ya there Edward." She grinned as she laid down a clothing bag.

"Well then you should have knocked on the front door like a normal human being." I said disapprovingly.

"What fun would that be? Plus I'm in a hurry so I didn't have time to wait for you to answer the door. Its 6:30 and you're not ready yet. Wear this…try to tame your hair although I'm sure it's impossible…and grab your black dress shoes."

"Alice…" I started to berate her for buying me clothes but of course was cut off of by the pixie.

"No need to thank me! I'm out of here. Have fun and don't do anything we wouldn't approve of." She winked then as fast as she appeared, she was gone again, and before I could try again to deny the clothes.

Of course denying them would have been pointless, I knew I'd still end up with them, plus it was obvious I was absolutely helpless in the situation. Hell I hadn't even realized it was getting so late.

I took the clothes out of the bag and smiled. Alice had put together the perfect outfit, complete with black slacks, dark purple button-down shirt that might as well have been black, and a black skinny tie. I'm not sure I want to know how she knew what size to get me, but everything fit perfectly.

When they had told me that Alice had a knack for fashion and clothes, I just assumed she really liked them and shopped all the time. It was clear in only knowing her for a little more than 4 months, she truly did have an aptitude for the whole scene.

_What in the world was she doing selling houses? _

I shook that question out of my head, because right now I had more to worry about than why Alice wasn't some famous fashionista. I had fifteen minutes to get ready for my date with Bella.

I hurriedly got dressed, not even trying to do something with hair, and then headed over – _drove over_ – to Bella's house.

I felt like a nervous nerdy high school student getting ready to knock on his girlfriend's door. I'd been on my fair share of dates, and I had never felt like this before. _Never_.

_What the hell is your problem!_ My self-conscience yelled at me as I watched my hand shake trying to knock on her door.

_Gotta pull myself together…this is ri-god-damn-diculous._ _Deep breaths…1 2 3…_

I finally knocked and then waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

I was getting ready to knock again when the door finally slowly opened.

I was no longer nervous, but not because she put me at ease, but because my brain couldn't focus on anything except what was standing in front of me. And even that was hazy because I couldn't come up with words for that either.

My eyes started at the bottom taking in every single inch of her. The shoes were just basic black pumps, but they had to have at least a four inch spike heel on them, which led my eyes right up her seemingly never ending legs. The dress ended just above her knees and was a light purple. The dress fit her so perfectly, like it was molded for her only. Hugging every single one of her curves.

It wasn't overly revealing but with the way her chest was just peeking over the top of the squared neckline, had me all but drooling like a damned fool.

She had left her hair down but had given it slightly more curl than it typically held. And was just begging for me to run my fingers through it.

But what made my breath hitch was her face. Her eyes were wide and sparkled with mischief and yet somehow also held a slight twinge of embarrassment. She just looked beyond anything I had ever laid on eyes on before…she was a goddess. _My _goddess.

"Say something Edward." She whispered just barely audible.

"You're gorgeous Bella." I responded, also barely above a whisper. "That's not even good enough…what's better than gorgeous? Stunning?"

She laughed and blushed. "Thank you. You too…I see Alice got to you."

"Huh?"

"We match." She said gesturing towards my shirt and then her dress.

I hadn't even noticed that. In fact I was still trying to will my brain to start working again.

Luckily she decided to take my hand and the electric shock I received from her, jolted me back to life

"Are you ready then?"

She nodded in response so I led her to my car, completely spacing that I wasn't driving my "every day" car for the date tonight and that she probably hadn't ever seen my special car.

"What the…Edward! That car is…"

"That's my other baby." I laughed as she took in the black Bentley Continental GT. "I don't typically take it anywhere and in fact until this morning it was in storage. I had it delivered to the house and stored in the garage until tonight. I might be a little over protective of her actually."

"I would be too. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt it with these heels!" She said as I opened the door for her. "When did you buy this thing?" She asked after I get and shut my door.

"This was my gift to myself after the divorce was final." I chuckled thinking of how I had celebrated that day. I look back on it now and even though I had fun, a weekend trip to Las Vegas and purchasing a $200,000 car might have been over doing it just a little, but I was free of Tanya.

A fact that I couldn't be happier about as I sit here and admire the woman sitting next to me. I was even freer of her now; something I would be celebrating for the rest of my life.

"So where are we going?" Bella inquired as I pulled out of our neighborhood.

"It's a surprise."

"Edward, I hate surprises." She whined.

"You'll get over it and besides, you'll find out in less than ten minutes."

She narrowed her eyes, but never said another word. The short drive to the restaurant was quiet. At one point I looked over at her to see what she was doing that had her so quiet…she was exploring the interior of my car with her hands. I just laughed at her and let her continue to molest my car's interior. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye and then blushed but never said anything.

"My favorite Italian restaurant?" Bella asked even though she could clearly see that that was where we were. I took her arm in mine and smiled as I headed in the front door.

"Dr. Cullen, welcome to the Milano Inn. Your table is ready. Please follow me." The maitre d' welcomed us as soon as we walked in the front door. He led us through the restaurant towards the back patio area. The longer we walked, the more confused Bella's face got.

As soon as we walked on the back patio which was lit by a ton of white twinkle lights, Bella's expression went from one of confusion to awe.

"Do you like it?" I whispered in her ear.

"It's perfect Edward." She answered then sweetly kissed me.

"Your waiter will be right with you. This entire area is yours for the evening. Enjoy." The maitre d' interjected before bowing slightly and disappearing back into the main restaurant.

"How'd you manage this?" Bella asked as I pulled her chair out for her.

"Well…as much as I'd like to take credit for getting this planned…." I said bashfully not really wanting to admit that I had to ask for assistance on planning the perfect first date. She already knew I had got Alice's help on getting her ready, but she didn't know that Alice all but planned the whole thing.

"You don't need to say anything else." She smiled while she laughed at my expression. "I can't say that I'm all that surprised to find out that Miss Alice assisted on this. She sold the owners' their house and was able to get them a great deal on it so she's got connections. The maitre d' is their eldest son. I'm sure he was informed of who we are before we arrived."

"Small towns. I'm still getting used to everyone knowing everyone. In L.A. no one knew you unless you were their doctor. It was kind of nice to just blend into the crowd, however; this knowing someone and saying hello to someone every time I step out my door, is definitely growing on me."

"I'm glad you feel that way about it." She grinned.

Why I was nervous for this date, I'll never know for sure. It was just totally pointless to be nervous. I was with Bella. Everything was perfect. We mainly spent the time catching each other up on the personal details of our lives during the ten years we weren't in each other lives.

She told me about losing her grandmother, she told me about what her life was like right after graduating med school. Her residency and all the people she met. She told me what it was like when she first met Rose and Alice and how they changed her life. I got more detail on those two. I found out that Rose quit modeling to be with Emmett and that Alice wasn't in fashion because she fell in love with Jasper and unexpectedly got pregnant with twins. She is currently in the process of trying to get back in it.

I learned that the dress Bella was wearing was in fact made by Alice and that she had actually had it for awhile waiting for the right time to give it to her.

I apparently was the right time and I have to say considering how I reacted to her, I'm certainly thrilled to know that no other guy has had the privilege to see her in the amazing piece of fabric.

I found out that I would probably be punching a cocky disc jockey if Tyler Crowly didn't stay away from my woman. Although Emmett and Jasper were already hot on his trail for hitting on their wives numerous times.

Bella shared that she could relate with Lilly more than she had previously told anymore. It seems Renee had remarried without telling Bella as well. In fact she had a step brother that she refused to acknowledge even though he seemed like a halfway decent boy.

I shared mostly my career highlights. I didn't feel the need to rehash my doomed from the start marriage. She knew it all pretty much anyways. I caught her up on what my parents had been doing but mainly I listened to her.

I listened and watch as she would get a little more excited when talking about the time spent with Rose and Alice before the guys. I watched the sadness seep in when she would talk about her dad and how much she missed him. And even though she bitched about some of the things her friends forced her to do, I could tell she enjoyed the time spent with all of them.

I saw how much she glowed when she talked about how much she enjoyed spending time with Lilly.

"I love you Isabella Swan." I said randomly as we sat and finished off our last glasses of wine for the evening.

I had caught her off guard that much was obvious, but she smiled lovingly in my direction before taking my hand in hers.

"I love you too Edward. Are you ready to leave?"

"If you are…" I said but trailed off at the end as she stood up.

The ride home started out just as quiet as the ride to the restaurant until I caught her grinning about something but without any words spoken, I knew it had to be in her head only.

"What are you thinking about?" I inquired and then watched her blush when she realized she had been caught. I had just pulled into her driveway to drop her off – not wanting to presume she would want to go home with me. After all, this was technically our first date.

She didn't respond to my question immediately, instead she seemed to be thinking about something. I was getting ready to press her for an answer when she slowly turned her body to face me from the passenger seat.

"I was just thinking how hot it would be to get royally fucked in the back seat of this car." She said with no facial expression; just like she was reading a patient's chart.

My mouth popped open and I dropped the keys from my fingers. She just laughed.

"You asked." She shrugged as she started to get out of the car. I couldn't stop her and by the time I came to my senses she was standing at the front of the car looking at me expectantly.

I fumbled for my keys, readjusted myself because I was enormously turned on, and got out of my car.

"You can't something like then walk away." I mumbled as I locked the doors.

"I can when I know it won't ever happen." She said as she intertwined our fingers and walked towards her front door. "Stay with me." She said as she opened her door.

"Of course." Was my instant response and I closed the door behind me.

"Good because I have a surprise for you too…birthday boy." She whispered in my ear before turning away and walking up the stairs towards her bedroom.

I stood there at the foot of the stairs like an idiot watching her hips sway as she walked away from me. All I could do was stand there and watch. As she walked, her arms came around her back and she started unzipping her dress. When she got to the top of the stairs she turned around and instantly found my eyes.

"Aren't you _coming_?" She asked and before the whole sentence was even out of her mouth, she dropped her dress to the floor allowing it to pool at her feet.

I'm sure I looked like a cartoon. My eyes bugged out of my head, my tongue fell out of my mouth, and my heart felt like it was beating out of chest.

_Yeah I'm coming. _I thought to myself as I took her in.

Under her dress she had been wearing what could only be describe as the sexiest piece of lingerie I had ever seen.

It was a lacey corset with matching g-string – both in the same color as her dress. The corset had garter belts that weren't attached to anything since she hadn't been wearing any stockings. The corset was why her chest kept distracting me all evening.

She cocked her finger towards me and motioned for me to follow her as she stepped out of the dress at her feet, showing me that she still in fact had her heels on.

I followed like I was on a string and she was pulling it. There was nothing else for me to do. If I had known what she was wearing under that dress all evening, we never would have made it to dinner…and in fact that car fantasy of hers might have actually happened. Damn-it-all to hell how much the car costs. If it's going have a chance of getting ruined at least I would have had a story like that to go with it.

By the time my ass made it up the stairs, she was already in her bedroom. I walked in and found her in the middle of her bed, propped up on her elbows, legs crossed at her ankles. Waiting for me.

"I thought about putting a bow on myself but it kind of interfered with the dress." She said as she got up on her knees. She beckoned me closer to her and like a helpless man I did as I was commanded. When I was close enough for her to touch me, she grabbed my tie and pulled me as close as possible to the bed without falling onto it.

She pressed her body against mine and started placing open mouth kisses on my neck, working her way up to my ear.

"Fuck me Edward." She whispered huskily as I felt my tie loosen and fall from my neck and she lightly bit my earlobe.

That shredded my last hope of restraint.

I gripped her waist and lightly shoved her backwards telling her where I wanted her to go. She did exactly what I needed her to and I followed hovering over her. I kissed her mouth feverishly before starting my descent down her body

"Now Edward." She moaned as she arched her back. "Undress me."

I didn't want to sound like a dumbass, but how was I supposed to take a corset off? I'd never actually had a girl wear something like for me. Not even Tanya did stuff like this for me. I had absolutely no idea how women even got in corsets let alone how to get a woman out of one.

Bella chuckled lightly and then arched her back a little more. "It's a zippered one."

"Thanks." I laughed lightly before slipping my hand under her and continued my kissing along her shoulders and exposed collarbone. As slowly as I could manage I unzipped her corset.

Apparently it was too slow.

"Too fucking slow Edward." She growled causing me stop completely. "I want you to _fuck _me Edward. I want it fast and hard. I don't want to be quiet tonight. I want the neighbors to hear us." She finished as she ripped my shirt off.

We're talking full on ripped my shirt off of me. I heard buttons hit the floor.

But when I felt her warm little mouth start sucking on my right nipple, I was done. The corset was off in half a second and her g-string ripped right off of her.

"I liked that one." She pouted.

"Well I liked the shirt." I said then shut her up with another kiss as her hands worked at getting my pants unfastened. I knew she had gotten them when I felt her high heels snake up the sides of my body to assist her in the removal of my pants.

It was taking too long though so I took my lips away from her skin long enough to rid my body of my pants and underwear.

I slowly let my fingers trace up her legs and draw circles around her core. She was withering with need and whimpering for release, so I gave it to her. I had wanted to taste her and tonight I let myself finally do it. I watched as she came undone at the seams for me.

Watching her climax pushed me even closer to my own release. And there was no way I was going like that.

"Are you ready for me, love?" I asked as I positioned myself at her entrance. She moaned and nodded her answer so I started to gradually enter her not wanting to set myself off too quickly.

"Edward…too slow…" She said and she pushed her hips forward effectively causing me to fully penetrate her.

I lost all control to the animal side of me. I pulled her legs up and put them on my shoulders so I could leverage against them. My thrusts were forceful and fast.

It would be quick for me but I couldn't help my reactions her sounds and actions. I watched as her breasts bounced with each of my thrusts, her hands bracing herself against the headboard.

I was lost. Her hair was matted against her face and neck. Her eyes watching my every move, begging me for another release.

"So close Edward." She moaned.

I pushed her legs down so that they were closer to her making her tighter for me and allowing me a deeper angle.

"Shit Bella…damn…you're so tight." I groaned out not even sure it was understandable.

I was quickly approaching my peak but I wanted to make sure she hit hers first so I tried to go deeper for her.

"FUCK!" She screamed out as she gripped my biceps and dug her fingernails in. "Ugh…so good…so close…"

"I can't…come with me baby. Please come with me." I begged as I felt my orgasm start to build.

Right when I knew I couldn't keep going, I felt her walls clench down on me and the moan that I would be able to remember a hundred years down the road echoed in the room.

Watching her hit her climax sent me over the edge as well. I tried to hold myself up but as soon as her legs dropped from my shoulder, I collapsed over her. I could feel her heart beat against my chest as well as my own.

We were both out of breath, hot, and sweaty, but we both just laid exactly where we were. I was brushing her hair off of her face while she did the same for me. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. And I'm pretty sure I could have stayed like that all night, but I needed to make sure I hadn't hurt her with my roughness.

"Are you okay?" I asked her finally still not taking my eyes away from hers.

"More than okay." She smiled.

"I wasn't too rough?" I asked and just shook her head no still smiling. "I will be making love to you tonight though."

"As long as you promise to do that again at some point…I'll even keep my heels close by for you." She said as she kissed me deeply and ran her nails down my back while running her heels up my legs.

With no effort on my part, I was instantly ready for round two.

"Hmm…it's gonna be a fun night." She said then kissed me again.

The woman was going to kill me on my birthday.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Yet again I am amazed at the response this story is getting. I'm still getting story alerts from new people almost every day! The reviews are wonderful and I look forward to reading them and received opinions from you. Thank you so muh for all the support. We'll be wrapping this one up in a few more chapters though. It's sad, I know. But even as it is, this story is longer than my original outline planned it out to be. I had originally planned on 23 chapters. Can you imagine? **

**Anyways - Chpater 26 is kind of a filler, but I hope you still enjoy it. **

**I'm going to vent right now...feel free to skip this part. I've been unable to update my story for the past 3 weeks...yes that's right I've had this chapter written for 3 weeks and can just not post. I started sending emails to my readers who have set up alerts to let them know and the POOF! I can now update...grrr...I have so many cuss words flowing through my head right now it's not even freaking funny. **

* * *

Chapter 26

**EPOV**

I was awakened the next day with Bella tracing an unidentified design on my stomach. I hugged her closer but kept my eyes closed, unwilling to acknowledge we would have to get out of the bed eventually.

"Morning." She sighed.

"Did you sleep okay?" I asked finally opening my eyes. She wasn't looking at me though. Her head was resting on my chest but she watching herself draw the design on my stomach.

"More than okay. You wore me out." She laughed.

"Ditto…pretty sure we're going to have to have a repeat of last night very soon." I said and even I noticed how husky my voice sounded as the scenes replayed in my mind. From the bed to the shower, to not even making it out of the bathroom and using the counter, and then me sneaking up on her when she went down to her kitchen for a late night snack.

"I especially liked our kitchen romp. Which reminds me…I will have to clean today."

"I can help since I'm the cause." I suggested but got no response. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She shifted within my grasp so she was more on her stomach and could look at me. I didn't see any sadness in her face, but that didn't mean something wasn't wrong. And if something wasn't wrong, there was still definitely something going through her brain.

"I'm perfect. I'm just so happy. I had no idea I could be this happy…I've never been this happy before and I can't believe it's really real. I thought for sure I'd wake up this morning to find it had all just been a dream. I'm afraid I'm going to end up doing something that causes me to wake up and I'll be right back where I was just 4 months ago." She laughed. "Things like this don't happen for me. I've always been the girl who's life has never been what she wished for and now…I've got just about everything I ever wanted in life..."

"Bella I…I wish I could give you the one thing you're missing." I interrupted.

"I'm okay with not being able to have a child of my own. I've come to terms with it already. I tossed around the idea of a surrogate but I don't think I'd be able to handle that so that I'm just going to live vicariously through my best friends." She smiled.

"So what is your life missing now?" I asked as I place a gentle kiss on her lips.

"All the superficial stuff that doesn't matter when it comes right down to it; I've always wanted a red sports car," she said then winked at me before continuing, "and I want to take a trip to Italy before I can't enjoy the carb loaded food anymore."

"I do believe we can take care of both of those items."

"Only if Lilly comes with us to Italy. I wouldn't have it any other way." She smiled then shifted again and started to get out of bed. "Come on let's get up and shower off the smell of sex or we'll never hear the end of it from Emmett."

I laughed but followed her lead and joined her in the bathroom for one more round before cleaning up.

We had just gotten dressed and were starting to straighten up the mess in the kitchen when the whole gang walked into Bella's. Without knocking.

"Edward Cullen you've been holding out on me!" Rose yelled from the front door. I had no idea what she was talking about and apparently my facial expression showed my confusion.

"Your car." Bella whispered. "Rose is a huge car fanatic."

Well that was a shocker. Jazz? Yeah I could see that. Emmett? Definitely see the possibility of a car freak there. But Rose? No way.

"What else don't I know about these people?" I chuckled.

"Not much more than that." She said as everything appeared in the kitchen, Lilly announcing their arrival.

"Am I old enough to ride in the car yet daddy?"

"No." Rose quickly answered but at least then looked bashful for answering Lilly's question so haughtily.

"I think that we can probably make that happen…you will be 8 in a couple of months." I smiled at my daughter.

"I know! Can we go watch TV?" She asked pointing to Alex and Janie. I laughed at how grown-up my daughter sounded and nodded my okay for them to go ahead and then watched as the 3 kids ran out of the kitchen.

"So…did Bella get to _ride_ in the fancy ass car last night?" Emmett asked wiggling his eye brows. Jasper snorted a laugh but quit when he got smacked.

"If only we'd tell you." I said as we finished straightening up the kitchen.

"Smells like sex in this kitchen." Alice said out of nowhere causing everyone to laugh out loud.

"Eh it's clean. You'll live." Bella smiled. "And don't even try to stand there and act like you and Jazz have never gone at it in the kitchen at 3 in the morning."

"It's how the twins were conceived actually." Alice said straight faced but then cracked a smile. "We brought over everything for a cookout if you're up for it." She continued like we hadn't just been talking about kitchen sex.

I had to laugh at the insanity that was my life now. I knew exactly how Bella felt about happiness. I had thought I was happy with Tanya and at the beginning I was happy, but not happy like I am now. Life was perfect...well almost perfect.

I knew there was only one thing that would make life absolutely perfect but it was too soon to go there with my relationship with Bella, even though that was exactly where I wanted it to go and where I knew it was going.

"So Bells…Chuck called me last night." Emmett said smiling.

_Who the fuck is Chuck?_ My thoughts began racing. Bella had never mentioned a Chuck before. Was he an ex boyfriend that still called Emmett cause they were friends? What did he want? It would just be my luck that an ex would show back up into the picture trying to win her back.

"If he ever hears you call him Chuck he'll shoot you and then say he was disrupting a criminal act and create evidence to support it." Bella laughed.

"I'm his favorite! He would never do that to me."

"Actually…I'm his favorite." Alice chimed in as she danced around the kitchen getting things ready to barbeque.

"That's true. I'm pretty sure if Jasper wasn't in the picture and he was twenty years younger he'd try to get Alice to date." I laughed.

"If your father was twenty years younger and I didn't have Jasper, I would date him! Charlie is the rugged outdoorsy type…a real man's man."

"I suddenly feel less than adequate." Jasper mused with a lopsided grin.

"Oh your father." I laughed out loud finally catching up with the conversation.

"Must have been some hella good sex if your brain cells are that dead." Rose quipped.

"Phenomenal sex if you must know." Bella chimed in and winked at me. "So…since my father calls my friends more than me, how's he doing?"

"Great! He'll be here in about…two hours." Emmett said checking the clock on his phone.

"WHAT!" Bella panicked.

"That's why we've decided to have the cookout." Rose shrugged. "I can't believe he didn't call you first."

"That's just Chuck." Jasper laughed as he used the new nickname.

I was still stuck on the fact that Bella's father was on his way to the house for an unannounced visit. I didn't have anything to worry about meeting the parent but it didn't' change the fact that I suddenly became very aware of the fact that the woman I was dating's father was on his way over and I still looked like I had spent the evening having sex. Sure I didn't smell like sex anymore, but I was still wearing my clothes from the night before – minus the shirt since it wouldn't button now.

"Lilly, I've got to run home for a little while. Stay here with Bella and everyone." I called to my daughter as I turned to Bella. "I have to change…I'll be back soon. Love you." I said as I kissed her.

"Uh…okay. Love you too." She said as I quickly made my way over to my house.

**BPOV**

As I watched Edward sprint out of my house and next door to change, I couldn't help but laugh at him. He had absolutely nothing to worry about with my father and yet there he was freaking out about meeting him for the first time.

Watching him walk away also made me think of something else.

"Hey Jasper…what's the market like for houses right now?" I asked thoughtfully as I helped Alice get the food ready. I wasn't looking directly at everyone, but I distinctively heard a small gasp come from one of my best friends. I chanced a quick glance out of the corner of my eye. She had stopped chopping vegetables and had her tiny mouth slightly agape but wasn't saying anything, which both scared me and made me smile.

"Market's not bad right now, not great, but not bad. Why?" He asked nonchalantly having not picked up on what his wife had.

"Just wondering how much luck someone would have selling right now, that's all." I shrugged stealing another glance at Alice who hadn't moved a single inch and then Rose figured it out.

"You selling or is he?" She asked as I turned from away from the counter and Alice did the same.

"Well…we haven't discussed it actually. It's just watching him leave this morning just seemed wrong. I didn't like it." I shrugged.

"I think we could sell Edward's house quicker than yours and there wouldn't be as much work to get his house ready as it there would be to get yours. You've personalized so many things plus you've been here 7 years and he just moved in. You're more settled. It'd just make more sense to put his house on the market. Now…having just moved though, he won't make any kind of profit on selling – he'll be lucky to breakeven on the mortgage."

"Right." I said as I nodded.

"Your house is bigger than his…more room for Lilly to have her own space." Rose said.

"I'm sure Lilly will be okay, but you should ask her before asking Edward. We know Edward won't mind, but Lilly might. She should have an opinion on this as well. Make her feel part of a family again. Make her feel like her opinion matters." Alice suggested.

"That's a good idea." Jasper said.

"I have to agree…are you sure you're ready for this step?" Emmett asked.

I didn't even really have to think about his question or my answer. I knew it immediately. No. I wasn't sure if I was truly ready for that step. I mean hell we've only been actually dating for two weeks. It was crazy to ask him to move-in with me. It was stupid. It wasn't logical. It wasn't the right thing, but damn-it if I didn't want to wake up next to him every morning.

You know for someone who was afraid to get involved I sure as hell fell hard and fast for the thing I was trying to avoid.

I never do anything half-assed. All or nothing that's my motto apparently.

"Do you guys think I'm crazy for wanting this already? I mean am I truly ready for it? Just a month ago I was freaking out over the thought a relationship and now I want him to move-in with me. What the hell is my problem?" I laughed.

"We can't make the call on whether you're ready or not. Only you know that for sure, but you better make damn sure you are before you ask Lilly what she thinks, because if you ask her what she thinks and she loves the idea she'll get her little heart broken if you decide you're not ready for that yet." Alice said with a certain tone I knew all too well.

"You don't think I'm ready." I said. It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

"Honestly, no. Give it another month or so. You're relationship with Edward is anything but typical so it's not odd for it to run a different course than most relationships, but that doesn't mean things should be rushed. I think this whole moving-in together will happen gradually anyways. And it will include Lil." She smiled.

Alice made perfect sense of course.

"You're right. Thanks." I smiled right as Edward reappeared in the kitchen carrying, not only a case of beer, but what appeared to be an overnight bag. Alice raised one of her eyebrows at me but didn't say anything.

"I brought some beer…wasn't sure what kind your dad liked though, so if New Castles aren't good, I'll get something else."

"Dude…have I ever told you you're like my best friend." Emmett said as he grabbed the case from Edward. "Plus New Castle is Chuck's favorite."

"You guys better cut it off with the nickname before he gets here." Rose laughed.

"Who's Chuck?" Lilly asked from the doorway of the kitchen.

I was beginning to think we were going to have to get a bell or something for her. She had a tendency to sneak up on us and that might lead to overhearing conversations that she shouldn't. Fortunately this one was okay for her to hear.

If I am being completely honest with myself, I'm excited to introduce my dad to Lilly. He'll adore her and she'll have him wrapped around her little finger instantly. Charlie would never say anything to me, but I know he's wondered if he'd ever get to be a grandpa. And sadly this would be the closest he'd get to it.

"It's Bella's dad." Edward smiled at his daughter.

"Cool! When will he be here?"

"Soon squirt." Emmett chimed in looking at his phone again before opening one of the beers. She nodded then turned to leave again before stopping and turning back around.

"Can we watch a movie?"

"Of course. You know how to work my TV and DVD player?" I asked receiving a nod of the head. "Okay, you know what you can and can't watch right?"

"Yes." She sighed and rolled her eyes, which earned a narrowing of the eyes from Edward, but a laugh from everyone else.

"Make sure whatever you watch that everyone wants to watch it." Edward said as Lilly disappeared again. "I can't wait until she's a teenager…" He sighed sarcastically.

"She won't be too bad." Alice laughed but then stopped and got a serious look on her face.

"Oh no…" Rose and I both said.

"So when is Lilly's birthday?"

"August 23rd. Why?" Edward cautiously replied.

"No reason." Alice sang then went back to getting the food ready ignoring the question looks from Edward.

We all busied ourselves with different aspects of getting the lunch ready, but mainly the women stayed in the kitchen and the men worked the grill out back.

The kids stayed in front of the TV watching their movie, but as soon as it was finished, Alex made his way out back with the guys and Janie and Lilly joined us in the kitchen area. We spent our time talking about Alice's designs that were a hit with a big name designer. They had originally wanted her to just sell them the designs and they would put the clothes out under their label, but Alice decided against that and now they were in the process of creating a separate line specifically for Alice's designs.

Rose instantly wanted in on some of the modeling action as did Lilly and Janie. I refused to be her living pincushion for fittings and whatnot, which earned a disapproving glare from every single one them.

I was put on Vanessa duty and I was carrying her around the kitchen while Rose and Alice messed with Lilly and Janie's hair, when my doorbell rang. It was about 1 in the afternoon and based on the timeline given to me, I knew it was Charlie.

"Hey pops!" I greeted when I opened the door.

"Forget to tell your father something?" He grinned looking at Vanessa before giving me a half-hug and gentle kiss on the forehead. "Hey Bells."

"This little beauty if Vanessa and she belongs to Rose and Emmett. Come on in, I'll have one of the guys get your bag and take it to the guest room so just leave it right there. Us girls were just gossiping in the kitchen."

"Lead the way then." He said then started heading towards the kitchen.

"Charlie!" Alice and Rose both exclaimed and then attacked him with hugs while he laughed.

"So good to see you girls too." He smiled as he hugged them back and then glanced around the kitchen spotting the other two.

"Charlie, you remember my girl, Janie. She's a bit bigger than when you were here last." Alice laughed as she pulled her shy girl close to her. "Janie, you remember Bella's dad?"

A nod of the head was all she got in response.

"I remember you too, little one." He chuckled. "And so who do you belong to?" He asked as he turned to Lilly. "I don't remember anyone having a teenager."

"I'm not a teenager yet! I'm only seven and three quarters. My name is Lillian Claire Cullen. But you can call me Lilly. My dad's name is Edward and he's a doctor. He works with Bella and they're dating." Lilly said and then gave a huge grin to my dad who was obviously shocked at either Lilly not being shy or the fact that she just introduced herself as my boyfriend's daughter. I wasn't really sure and before any of us could talk anymore, Lilly continued. "So can I call you Grandpa Chuck? Uncle Emmett said I should ask you."

I'm positive if my father had been drinking, it would have spewed out of his nose. I was shocked but trying not to laugh as was Alice and Rose. Only Emmett would turn a little girl against my father. It was the only way anyone would ever get the okay to call my father Chuck.

"Lilly Cullen, you can call me Grandpa Chuck all you want." My dad smiled down at Lilly.

"Yay!" Lilly said then hugged him around his waist. "Let's go out back so you can meet my dad." She said as she started to drag my dad out of the kitchen. I reached for a beer out of the fridge and started to follow.

"Yes, let's go meet your dad." My dad said as he looked over his shoulder to me. I gave him a sheepish grin but handed him the beer, hoping for some sort of peace offering. He just shook his head at me, but gave slight grin.

I turned around and motioned for Alice and Rose to join for support, but almost ran into them since they were right behind me.

"No way we're going to miss this!" Rose exclaimed.

"It's going to be epic!" Alice laughed as my dad stepped out the back patio door.

"Chuck!" Emmett yelled throwing his arms up over his head.

"Emmett, my gun is in my car." My dad said tossing a glance to Edward who visibly got paler and swallowed hard. Charlie shook hands with Emmett and Jasper who were just laughing at the exchange before turning completely to Edward who hadn't moved an inch since my dad appeared.

"Grandpa Chuck…" Lilly whined as she pulled him towards Edward. Her name got chuckles out of Jasper and Emmett but they too were trying not to laugh anymore than they already were.

"So you must be Edward."

"Yes sir." Edward managed as he stuck his hand out for my father to shake. Surprisingly my father did just that.

"Lovely daughter you got here." My dad finally said cracking a smile and then ruffling Lilly's hair with the hand that wasn't still gripping Edward's.

"Thank you sir." Edward said then watched the only buffer he had disappear down in to my yard off the deck with Janie and Alex.

"You know who else has a lovely daughter?" My dad asking raising an eyebrow in challenge. Edward just nodded his head knowing that my dad meant me. "Good. Remember that because that gun is loaded."

"Dad!" I said then slapped his arm as I rolled my eyes. "Enough of the tough guy act."

"I have to! You're my only kid." He laughed loudly which relaxed Edward. "I had to scare the kid at least a little."

"Kid?" We all scoffed.

"You're all still younger than me…therefore kids." He said as he took another drink from the beer. "Now, who do I have to thank for the beer?"

"Edward." Jasper said tipping his bottle towards Edward.

"Hmph…damn that means I _have _to like you now." My dad said with a roll of his eyes but a smile.

"I planned it that way." Edward said taking a sip as well.

"Well that wasn't as dramatic as I thought it was going to be." Rose sighed. "Very disappointed Charlie."

"Sorry Rose…I can put the tough guy act only so long before Bells reads me the riot act. Now, how about you girls leave us be so I can get to know him better without female interruption."

"Behave." I said before the three of us disappeared back in to the house.

**EPOV**

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Charlie turned back around to me with a look on his face that I couldn't describe, but I knew I was in for the Spanish Inquisition.

"Pull up a chair Edward…let's chat." Charlie said as he took a seat around the patio table. I followed suit even though my brain was telling me I should probably be prepared to run if needed. "I have a few questions for you."

"We all went through this, just so you know, and we weren't even dating Bells." Emmett stage whispered.

It didn't help me feel any more relaxed. I didn't want to slip and reveal that I had caused his daughter a ton of pain in the past.

"So…you're a doctor. Where did you go to school?"

_First question right out of the box…_

"I went to UCLA." I said not offering that I knew Bella back then.

"Big school…did you and Bella know each other then? You look about 35."

At this point Jasper and Emmett turned their backs on the conversation.

"Yes, I knew Bella in college. We had a majority of the same classes together. We even put a study group together."

_Might as well get it all out there now_. I thought as I all but chugged the remnants of my beer.

Charlie eyed me for a second but then continued calmly. "I'm not blind son. You and my daughter have a history…this relationship is relatively new since I know Seth didn't leave the practice until March, but the look you both hold in your eyes for the other suggests something that's been around for at least a few years. I don't want to know what happened in college to make you go separate directions, but I do know I have not seen my daughter this happy in her entire life. There will be repercussions if you hurt her."

"I understand sir completely."

"You're smart Edward. You've raised a beautiful girl so I know you're not all bad and I kind of like you so don't make me follow through with my threat." He smiled. "Now tell me about your Lilly."

The rest of the day went without any problems. We all sat around and talked; Charlie regaled us with stories of a young Bella and some of his comical police stories. The children kept themselves busy in the back yard as we all kept an eye on them. Charlie was an instant hit with Lilly as well as Vanessa and Charlie was loving every minute of it.

As well Bella, but the joy of watching her father play with Vanessa and interact with Lilly was tainted with the sadness that was still haunting her. She would get over it eventually, but no matter what she had told me earlier today, she was not over it yet.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Sorry for the delay folks! **

**I was feeling a bit citrusy for this one...so just a little lemonade for you. :)**

**Thank you for reading! **

**~Enjoy**

* * *

Chapter 27

**EPOV**

After a long day, everyone finally started leaving Bella's well after night fall. I had offered to stay and help her clean up; I think she saw through my offer though. She knew I wanted to stay because I wasn't ready to leave her yet.

In fact I would never be ready to leave her. If it was up to me, I would be staying the night with her. I even brought a bag containing a change of clothes for both Lilly and I and Lilly's school stuff when I ran home earlier in the day.

When I did that though, I had clearly not factored in Charlie.

"Dad, the guestroom is all made up for you if you're ready to call it a night." Bella said as she finished up the dishes from the last minute gathering.

It was in that second I realized even though I had prepared to stay, I would have to walk across our yards to my own home where I would sleep in a cold bed by myself. There was no way I was sleeping with my girlfriend while her father slept in the same house.

Not just any father of course because that I might have actually considered a possibility. Oh no, I had to go fall in love with the woman who has a Chief of Police for a father. A man who can legally carry a concealed weapon.

Yeah. Thanks but no thanks. I'm good.

Don't get me wrong. Charlie and I got along just fine today. We actually have a lot in common. We laughed and really just enjoyed each other's company. After the initial shock of meeting him and getting the standard threats out of the way, I really liked Charlie.

"Thanks kid." Charlie said as he finished off his last beer of the night. "I'll be out of here pretty early tomorrow. I've got to be in L.A. to help on a cold case that just became warm."

"That's fine. We'll have to get up pretty early to get Lilly to school, it's her last day so we don't want her to be late, and then we have to go into the office." Bella responded.

Charlie huffed and narrowed his eyes at me.

I was totally confused as to what I had done seeing as I hadn't said a damn word for the past hour. I had just been silently helping Bella.

"Doesn't he live right next door?" Charlie asked like I wasn't standing ten feet from him.

"Yes." Bella said challenging him to further their discussion.

I desperately tried to catch up to the conversation. For someone who has a doctorate you'd think I'd be better at keeping up with conversations between adults. It was like they had a completely silent exchange that somehow irritated Charlie.

I began replaying the proceeding five minutes in my head trying to find the clue that put me in the loop.

Bella offered the guestroom. Charlie thanked her and told her he was leaving pretty early. Bella said that it was fine because we'd…

_Oh…well son of a bitch. Guess Charlie and I are back at square one in the getting along department._

"Charlie…Edward and I are both adults. In fact last I checked he's 35 and I'm damn close to it. If I want my boyfriend to stay with me – regardless of where he lives – then he stays. And he will be sleeping in my room with me." Bella said with a tone allowing absolutely no arguments. Not even from me.

"How do you know the boy even wants to stay? He hasn't said a damn thing." Charlie said with a hint of a smirk.

"Let's ask him directly then." Bella said turning to me, but before she could open her mouth again I finally spoke up.

"Sir, with all due respect, I love your daughter and even though I live next door, the thought of being that far away from Bella makes me uneasy. If she wishes me to stay then I'm staying because not only can I not deny her anything she desires, I can't deny myself what I need."

Bella looked at me with what I can only describe as relief and love all rolled together. Charlie looked contemplative but he eventually cracked a smile and then laughed.

"I'm just giving you shit you guys. You two are too easy. Just no hanky panky, no horizontal mumbo, no knocking…"

"Dad!" Bella said as her face turned bright red.

"Alright kiddo…I'm hitting the sack. Thanks again for today and letting me crash. If I don't see you in the morning, I love ya Bells." He laughed as he kissed her forehead.

"Love you to pop." She smiled.

"Edward, it was nice to meet you son." He said as he offered his hand to me.

"Likewise sir." I said as I shook his offered hand.

"Call me Charlie." He said before leaving us alone in the kitchen letting us get back to cleaning, although we did more smiling at each other than we did cleaning.

"Daddy? Bella?" Lilly's very tired voice carried into us from the living room not too long after Charlie left.

"Yes sweetheart?" We both answered.

"The movie is over. I'm tired." She said as she suddenly appeared around the corner.

"Do you want to sleep over here tonight?" Bella asked as she dried her hands.

I would think on a typical night, Lilly's excitement would be uncontainable. Tonight she just yawned and nodded her head.

_Crap!_ I'm a horrible father. I hadn't even thought of where Lilly would sleep since Charlie was in the guestroom.

"Follow me. I've got you all set up in the bedroom just across the hall from mine. I use it as my study, home office whatever, but it's got a couch that turns into a bed. Is that okay?"

"Yes." Lilly said through another yawn.

"Well come on let's get you to bed before you fall asleep standing here." Bella laughed as she led Lilly upstairs to the room I had no idea existed.

_How had I missed the extra room last night?_

Oh yes, I had tunnel vision. The only thing I could focus on was Bella and the way she looked in her heels and lingerie. The way her hips swayed when she walked away from me. The way her voice lowered letting me know she was just as turned on as I was. The way she moaned out my name when she came undone.

_And now I'm incredibly hard with no solution available._

"She's already out. I didn't even have a chance to look for something for her to sleep in. She just laid down and instantly fell asleep." Bella whispered when she reappeared in the kitchen. When I turned to look at her, my breath caught in my throat. She had changed out of her jeans and t-shit and was now wearing tight cotton shorts and a tank top. I mentally groaned at the problem that just kept getting bigger, but tried to ignore it – and her creamy skin.

"Uncle Em sure knows how to tire out the little ones." I nervously laughed recalling all the running around that Emmett did with the kids this afternoon and trying to get my mind out of the gutter.

"He loves it. And Jasper is just as bad, he's just not as rambunctious as Emmett, but he still loves playing with the kids." Bella smiled at me.

"You certainly did find yourself the best group of people to call friends, love."

"Family. They're my family and you know they all consider you a part of it too, right?"

"I think I knew that."

"I consider you my family too." She said then gently placed her lips to mine.

Apparently though, we're both hormonal teenagers again and can't control our bodies. Her hands found their way into my hair as she pulled her body incredibly closer to mine. My hands instantly made their way to her ass and grabbed it, lifting her off the floor. Her legs wrapped around my body as she kissed me harder.

I desperately needed to either stop this or finish it – quickly and quietly. While I was pretty sure quickly wasn't going to be a problem tonight, quietly definitely was because we hadn't even done anything and Bella was moaning in my mouth while grinding slightly against my body and I knew I wasn't going to be coming silently.

"Edward…" She whimpered. "I need you."

I couldn't deny that I needed her even if I wanted to; she was pressed against the evidence.

"I need you too baby, but your dad? And Lilly?"

"I can be quiet." She said then nibbled my earlobe.

"Shit Bella…" I groaned. "I don't think I can be quiet." I chuckled.

"Take me outside?" She asked looking at me and biting her lower lip.

I knew exactly where I wanted her.

"Come on baby…we're going to break in my car." I said as I set her down on her feet.

Her eyes got impossibly wider and darkened with lust. I had to admit, defiling my Bentley in any other way seemed wrong, but this way…this way seemed the perfect way to do it. I had never even let a woman _touch_ _me_ in the Bentley let alone fuck me in there.

"That's so fucking hot. I'm so wet for you right now." She said as she sauntered away from me and towards the front door.

Bella just received permission to do whatever the hell she wanted to do in that car. If it inflicted any damage – that was fine with me. I'd leave it there too, because every time I'd see it, I would be reminded of this night.

I quickly grabbed my keys off the table and followed her. When I got outside, in the moonlight, I was able to see Bella leaning against the hood of my car. Hands back behind her holding herself up. She had her head tilted up towards the sky. She looked like a car model – modeling only for me.

"You gonna stand there and stare all night or are you going to unlock the doors?" She asked without looking at me.

I couldn't say anything so I just hit the unlock button letting the little beep announce it for me earning me a smirk from the beautiful woman under the moonlight.

"I uh…not sure how we're going to work this." I managed as I finally made it close enough to the car to touch her.

"Hmm…well…I think the only way is for you to sit right here in the passenger seat while I ride you like you've never been ridden before."

I gulped – _audibly_.

"Uh...um..shit…wha..foreplay?" I squeaked. I sure as hell didn't need any. I was flying at full mast already.

"I'm past that point Edward." She said as she opened the door to my car. "Now Edward." She said as she leaned in to kiss me again. I wrapped my arms tightly around her body before releasing her lips and sinking into the passenger seat.

Like the fucking goddess she is, Bella leaned in the car and pulled the lever to send the seat all the way back and then also the one to lean it all the way back all while climbing in on top of me, straddling my legs before closing the door securely and locking it from the inside.

I ran my hands up and down the insides of her exposed thighs teasing her with the nearness of where I knew she wanted them.

When I almost had them under the hem of the shorts but pulled them away again, she growled before attacking my lips again.

I was so wrapped up in kissing her I didn't realize her hands had worked my jeans open.

"Lift." She commanded so I did as I was told and she worked my pants down just far enough to get what she was going for. Even though I was ready she moved down my body and somehow managed to get on the floor between my legs where she proceeded to take me in her mouth.

"Son of a…!" I yelped causing her to chuckle and hum in appreciation of my appreciation. I could only let this go on for a few seconds. "Baby…I want to be inside you."

She let go of me with a pop and made her way back up to straddle me again. It was then I realized she had got her shorts off while she was sucking me.

"When…how…shorts…" Was my brilliant way of asking her.

Instead of responding though, she smirked and then lifted herself up and started to lower down onto me.

"Shit…" She moaned as she slowly – achingly slow – lowered herself all the way down onto my dick. "So good Edward."

My response? I thrusted up into her.

She leaned forward just far enough so she didn't hit her head on anything and began riding me. Hard.

I thought about ripping her shirt off so I could have my play things, but my hands seemed perfectly content to grip the hell out of her hips and follow her movements.

Not to mention, this really was going to be a record time for me. I was so wound you wouldn't have thought that we had been going at it the night before like crazed rabbits.

I could feel her movements quicken just slightly as her breath got heavier, and I had never needed a woman to climax more than I needed Bella to in the second.

"Bella…" I groaned trying to hold off as long as possible, but it wasn't looking like it was going to be much longer.

"I'm so close Edward." She said right as I felt her walls tighten around me and that was all it took for me.

"Fuck!" We both shouted at the same time. It was the most intense orgasm I had ever had. I continued to thrust into her has her walls continued to spasm around me, taking everything I had to give. We stayed in that position for a little bit longer, my hands on her hips, her hands on my chest, just staring at each other.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was actually only a few seconds, she finally lifted herself off of me and then climbed into the driver seat, leaning her head against the headrest trying to catch her breath.

"Amazing." She mumbled.

"Beyond that." I mumbled back as I found her shorts and blindly handed them to her.

"Thanks." She laughed. "Guess I better get these on before I make a mess on your driver's seat."

I knew she was being sincere about the mess, but I really didn't care. They were leather, I could wipe it up. I was too blissed out to care about anything.

After our breathing calmed down and we were both fully covered again we looked at each other and laughed.

Full on laughed.

"I can't believe we just went outside to have sex because my father is inside." She said between giggles. "So high school!"

"I never did anything like that in high school." I laughed back. "You must have been more of a wild child than I was."

"Psh…whatever Mr. Hot Stuff." She said then leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Come on, let's go inside before one of them wakes up and realizes were not in the house."

I groaned and reluctantly removed myself from my car and Bella did the same. I locked it behind us as she walked to my side, took my hand, and curled into my side.

"I love you Edward." She smiled looking up at me.

"I love you too." I said then kissed her nose.

"I don't want to move too fast or anything and I know that it seems like we are. I mean just a month ago I was scared shitless to trust and now we're…"

"I know." I sighed. "I still feel like I'm dreaming most of the time."

We were quit the rest of the way inside the house. Everything was pretty much taken care of so we decided to call it a night. On our way to her room, we stopped to look in on Lilly. She was laying in the middle of bed, taking up the whole thing, snoring lightly.

"She's just like you." Bella chuckled.

"I don't snore." I said placing my hand on my heart and faking being insulted.

"How would you know! You're asleep!" She laughed then wrapped her arm around my waist. "She's wonderful Edward. I know I've told you this before, but I love her."

"She loves you too." I said tightening my grip on her.

"You know Alice is going to be planning her birthday party and so there is no way either one of us will be able to put a say in on it." She said still gazing at Lilly.

"I wondered if that's what that was all about." I sighed. "How bad will it be?"

"It will be the best party any 8 year old will ever have. But it takes away some of the gift from us." She said then got quiet and bit her bottom lip nervously.

"What are you thinking sweetheart?" I said as I place a finger under her chin and lifted her eyes to meet mine.

"What would you say to me…us redecorating my guest room and making it Lilly's room?"

The look on Bella's face told me that she was nervous I would deny her this. But how could I? First it would be wonderful for Lilly to have a place of her own at Bella's since it was my plan to always either be at my place or her place. It would allow Lilly to feel at home no matter where we were sleeping.

Second, it made my heart swell to the size of the state of California thinking about Bella wanting to make Lilly a place of her own. It gave me hope that maybe we were closer to where I wanted us to be than I had originally thought we were.

I had previously decided I'm not going to push this relationship forward any faster than Bella was willing to take it.

This room for Lilly being Bella's idea is a huge step for us.

"I love that idea and so will Lilly." I said then place a quick chaste kiss on Bella's lips. "You're so perfect for us."

"You both are perfect for me." She said back before we walked into her bedroom to get ready for bed.

Before I laid down, I went and opened her bedroom door earning a questioning eyebrow raise from Bella.

"Just in case." I said shrugging my shoulders.

I didn't want Charlie to wonder upstairs and come across a closed door. He might get the wrong idea.

Bella just laughed at me.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter. :) I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think.**

**Thank you - as always - for reading and for those of you who review, a special thank you goes out to you for letting me know how you feel. Good and bad. I enjoy them all. **

**~Tiff**

* * *

Chapter 28

**BPOV**

"Alice…DAMN-IT! NO!" I yelled in a tone I hardly ever used with her. She instantly stopped what she was doing and dropped her head hiding her eyes from me.

It was the night before, well technically it was the morning of Lilly's 8th birthday party and I was putting the final touches on her room. It was one of many gifts from her father and me. We had spent the majority of the summer months collecting items and getting ideas from our friends, but had just actually started remodeling the guest room a week ago.

It was taking longer than we had planned; hence why I was there at 3 am with Alice trying to get everything perfect with only 10 hours before her party was to start. I still had to sleep and it was looking like at least another two or so hours before Alice and I were finished; especially if I was going to have to stop every five minutes to yell at her for trying to complicate things.

In the time she'd been here, she'd tried to say we had time to change the walls, add book shelves, change the way we had arranged her furniture, and pile in additional clothes and shoes.

The girl was only 8 and she already had two wardrobes. She had her closet filled to the brink of explosion at her father's house and now because of her Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose, she had a second closet stuffed full of clothes.

My latest outburst came courtesy of Alice wanting to install a brand new LCD/HD TV.

"I'm sorry…" She mumbled still looking down at the floor.

"Alice, I'm sorry I yelled but it's already 3 in the morning the day of her party. Not only do I think a TV is overdoing it but we _can't _do it now. It's too late…"

"No it's not we can get it at Wal-Mart…"

"Alice…you never shop at Wal-Mart. Ever. I don't care what it's for. Why do you keep trying to add things to her room? It's perfect the way it is. We've painted the walls a pale pink…everything is pink in fact…even the area rug is a darker pink shag carpet. We've given her a place for her dolls, which I'm sure she'll out grow here soon. We've given her a top of the line stereo with karaoke capabilities, a desk with her very own computer preloaded with every song known to man, a vanity for her to do her hair at and even – against my better judgment and Edward's protesting – you've managed to supply her with nail polishes and lip glosses. You and Rose spent an absolute fortune on clothes and shoes for the girl, and this is just her room not what you've wrapped for her as well!" I said while pointing each item out in the room we stood in the middle of.

"I just want Lil to be comfortable and happy here." She shrugged but finally looked up at me. "And by here – I don't mean in your house. I mean with us. She's permanently with us and this is her first birthday without her mother being with her. Edward told Jazz that he's not even sure Tanya's mother is going to show. How sad is that? No child should have to deal with that and I just want to make it a happy day for her so she doesn't focus on the bad things. It's been so touch and go for the past few months."

Alice was right on that last point. The summer had been stressful for everyone. After Lilly's school was out for summer vacation, she started spending time with Rose and Alice during the day while Edward and I worked. For the first few weeks she seemed to really enjoy everything. She was helping Alice with the fashion line and helping Rose by watching Vanessa while Rose helped Alice. She always had stories for her father and I, but before the end of June she had a breakdown.

Edward had dropped her off with Rose early one morning so he could get to the hospital to deliver a baby. Halfway through the day he received a panicked phone call from Alice.

Rose had taken Vanessa and Lilly over to Alice's just like a normal day, but as they sat down for lunch Lilly had started throwing things and screaming at the top of her lungs. Rose had finally gotten her to calm down and quit throwing things and yelling, but now she was crying inconsolably. Rose had her in what they call a therapeutic hold trying to soothe her. It wasn't working so she had Alice call Edward.

Once Edward got to Alice's, Lilly refused to tell him what had happened. She refused to tell any of us.

I had suggested calling a therapist that I had been seeing secretly for about two weeks. I had decided on speaking to someone when I realized I couldn't live without Edward in my life, but was still nervous about letting him have that much of me; also known as the weekend I realized I wanted to live with the man.

After considering the options and a long talk with Jasper, Edward decided to call Dr. Irina Bromke's office and set up with her partner, Dr. Kate Willis, for Lilly.

Lilly's sessions started immediately after the incident at Alice's and at the 4th session they had a break through. Kate was able to figure out what had caused Lilly's breakdown.

Janie had burnt herself on the hot stove and started crying. Alice instantly stopped doing what she was in the middle of and took care of Janie. Janie sobbed and hugged her mother tightly then mumbled 'mommy.'

That was all it took. That one word broke Lilly's façade of happiness. It was the flood of emotions and anger we had all been waiting for since April when Tanya all but abandoned Lilly with Edward while she toured the country.

Lilly knew she had her father to take care of her, but she was aching from the loss of a mother. Every little girl needs a mom and Lilly didn't have that. The only thing she had that was close was me but I wasn't her mother and no matter how much I loved her and took care of her…or how horrible Tanya was…Lilly still didn't have someone in her life to cling to and sob a broken 'mommy' to when she was hurt.

I knew how she felt. And even though Lilly had once said she wished I was her mother, I had to remind myself that I couldn't be that. As much as I told myself to not take it personally, it hurt when I realized I didn't - _couldn't_ - fill that void for Lilly.

But how could I? She was old enough to realize that her biological mother didn't want her. Willingly gave her up. No matter how many people were in her life, loving her, taking care of her, her mother _still didn't want her_. That rejection was still there.

My situation mirrored Lilly's to a point and this was something Dr. Bromke found absolutely hilarious and educational. Before the end of July, Lilly and I had had a combined session with Dr. Bromke and Dr. Willis. This was a secret from Edward though as I still hadn't told him I was seeing anyone.

Can I just tell you its damn near impossible to hide something like that from your medical partner and boyfriend? He's a smart little shit and discovered my secret about a week after our combined session. I had left a picture Lilly had drawn for me of us sitting together holding hands in Kate's office.

It made me cry when she gave it to me and then I cried again when Edward found it.

He had calmly asked me about it and in defeat I had explained everything to him. I should have known that it wouldn't have mattered to Edward. He comforted me and told me that he would support me in whatever I felt I needed to do in order to be fully invested in our relationship.

And that was how we ended up in a session – all three of us – at the beginning of August. Dr. Bromke and Dr. Willis both had thought it would be beneficial to see how Lilly was truly handling her father and I being together.

As it turned out, Lilly hadn't been lying when she told us she supported the relationship and that she had always wanted us to be together.

In my next single session I had discussed the remodeling of the room for Lilly at my house for her birthday. Dr. Bromke had supported the idea completely and told me that it was a huge gesture and that Lilly would see it for exactly what it was meant for. Lilly would see it as me offering her a piece of my personal space. A piece of me.

Even with the doctor's reassurance, I was nervous about Lilly's reaction – another reason I was tightly wound up and snapped at Alice. Sure I was upset that she was trying to change everything in true Alice fashion, but that was just it; _she always did shit like this_. I was just at my edge of sanity. It was late, I was tired, and I was stressed.

I was also sex-deprived.

Since Lilly started with the therapy, the doctors suggested that Edward and I limit our _alone time_ and try to spend time with Lilly as much as possible. They wanted us to reinforce with Lilly that just because her father and I were in a relationship that we were not going to start ignoring her – leaving her too.

We'd been on one grown-up date and it was only because Lilly asked to spend the night at Alice's with Janie.

That was July 4th weekend.

It was now August 23rd.

_Yeah…_

It was one thing when I went 6 months without sex because I didn't have someone. It's different now…I have someone and he's very good at what he does and he's _right there_ all the time. I see him every day at work, we spend practically every night at his house, and nothing.

We tried a quick hook-up at work once, that didn't work due to both of us being paged right as we locked ourselves in his office.

We tried after Lilly fell asleep one night, but right before we hit the point of no return, she called for Edward.

We considered a revisit to the car once or twice, but we knew that it wouldn't work because if Lilly woke up and needed Edward for some reason and he wasn't there, she would freak out.

Self-gratification just wasn't cutting it for me.

It wasn't just me that was having a difficult time with the new situation. Everything I did seemed to be a trigger for Edward. The man was suffering and if I tried to _help_ him quickly he would deny it and say that if I started and we didn't finish due to some interruption, it would make it worse for him.

I'm sure he was right about that, but I could tell he was on the brink of sanity. He was a ticking time bomb and even though I felt for him, I was secretly excited for the day when we would finally be able to release the pent up energy.

I was going to be in for one hell of ride.

"Bells…I think we're done." Alice spoke softly afraid she would send me off again. She was lucky I heard her since I was off in another land fantasizing about sex with Edward.

I was exhausted and barley standing on my feet. Five in the morning. I had 9 hours before the guest started arriving at Edward's. Nine hours to sleep, get ready, and then help decorate.

"I'm sorry I yelled earlier Ali." I sighed as I rubbed my face to try and keep myself up for just a little longer.

"I understand. I do."

"Thank you." I said and hoped that she understood it wasn't just for her understanding why I yelled earlier but to thank her for helping with the room, helping me through my feelings for Edward, and listening to me when I needed someone to talk to after I had a session.

After Edward found out I was seeing a therapist, I told everyone and they were all supportive. I started opening up more with Rose and Alice and even with Emmett and Jazz. I talked about everything with them.

It helped me tremendously.

And since Edward and I were not getting "quality alone time" he and I talked about the future. _A lot_.

We had even made a plan. One in which we were going to be sharing with Lilly after her birthday party.

"I have to get home and try to get some sleep before I need to be over at Edward's setting up for the party."

"I know. You'll be there about noon right?" I asked through a yawn.

"Yes, but don't worry about being there to help. You need your rest. Tonight's going to be big and you need to be awake for it." She said then chuckled as I yawned again.

"I'm going to set an alarm for 11 but no promises. I'll see you as soon as I can."

"Deal." She said then gave me a hug and disappeared out of the room.

She had no sooner left when my phone buzzed alerting me to a text message.

'_I see the light still on…go to sleep babe. She'll love it no matter what condition it's in – E'_

Why was he awake?

'_Ali and I just finished. Why r u up? – B'_

After I sent that I started cleaning up the trash from the final touches to the room.

'_I haven't slept well after leaving u. I'm worried bout 2nite – E'_

'_Me 2 but I think it will b ok…Ali said so and we all know what Ali says is truth. – B'_

'_haha…that is true. When can we expect to c u here – E'_

'_aiming for noon. No promises tho. Ha. – B'_

'_K. Love u. – E'_

'_Love u 2 – B'_

After that I finally laid down in my bed and immediately fell asleep.

I dreamt of Lilly's reaction to her room, to our plan, to everything. It was all happy. It was peaceful. I didn't want it to end and wake up in reality again where there was a possibility of it not going smoothly.

I somehow made it by noon and was greeted by a very eager newly turned 8 year-old as well as a 36 year-old. Lilly had been helping Alice and Rose set up but when I showed to help, she sort of stopped that started playing with Vanessa.

Esme, Carlisle, and Charlie all showed up 1:00 to help. I was still surprised to see my dad there; it's not like a trip down from Forks, Washington was a short one. If he drove it, it would take him 20 hours.

My confusion was cleared up though when I found out after he arrived that he had met a woman in L.A. while helping on the cold case and that he was considering moving down and that stopping by for Lilly's birthday bash was the first stop of a month long vacation in L.A. with his new girlfriend, Sue.

Needless to say, this information not only excited me but everyone else as well; especially the birthday girl.

Alice had outdone herself to the tenth degree on the party. She had placed a canopy to the left side of the back deck at Edward's where the presents were all being placed. To the right side of the back deck, she had put up another canopy for the food – which she catered from Lilly's favorite pizza joint. The cake was one of those fancy ass things that you don't even want to take a knife too.

In the middle of the yard, directly off the steps from the deck, we had set up tables for everyone to eat; four round tables with eight chairs at each.

She had set up a section of the yard that had games for the kids – all girls as it turns out. The games ranged from a piñata to pin the tail on the donkey to some game she dubbed the 'Nail Polish Birthday Spin Game'.

And everything was pink. Not just one color of pink though…I counted at least six different shades that blended effortlessly with each other.

When Jasper showed up with Janie and Alex, he looked almost horrified by the amount of pink. As did Alex, who immediately disappeared back into the house to play video games that his Uncle Edward had put out for him.

Emmett was on pizza duty so he showed up right before 2:00 and announced exactly how he felt about the pink.

"It looks like a hundred bottles of Pepto exploded in your backyard Eddie!" He boomed as he set the six pizza's down on the table.

"Hush!" Alice chided as she hung the final bit of streamers.

"I love it!" Lilly said bouncing up and down from her spot on the deck.

"And that's all that matters so Uncle Em can just keep quiet, right?" Charlie said.

"Yep Grandpa Chuck!" She enthused then bounced off in the other direction leaving me shaking my head at the name she's bestowed on him. He, of course, was grinning from ear to ear.

Since Alice had all but taken complete control of the decorating, Esme, Rose, and I were sitting on the deck sipping lemonade watching her flit about the backyard making sure everything was as perfect as it could get before the real guests started arriving.

Ten girls total ended up showing. Since the mothers – or in a few cases the fathers – stayed it gave us a chance to get to know new people.

Unfortunately, as much as Lilly enjoyed her friends, it was clear that none of us would be best friends with any of the parents. A line clearly divided my family from everyone else.

Some of the looks Rose, Alice, and Esme shot me across the yard after a mother would turn their back were hilarious.

And as much as Edward wanted to stay outside for the party for Lilly's sake, she sent him inside with the rest of boys not long after it all started, and he couldn't hide the expression of slight relief on his face as him and the few other males disappeared into the house.

The party only lasted two hours and then all the girls and their snooty ass parents were gone.

And my anxiety went through the roof. I was distracting myself from the pending list of things by going over all of the gifts Lilly received from everyone and writing down the items so she could send out thank you cards.

The girl had more stuff than she would ever use. Majority from her family and not her friends. Her grandparents – Charlie included – had given her just as much crap as her aunts and uncles.

Edward and I had given her a present each during the party, but the rest of it and the biggest were to be opened later.

At my house.

_Our house_. I thought to myself then swallowed thickly at the thought that it might actually be happening. It was part of the plan we were going to be discussing with Lilly tonight.

It took us only an hour to get Edward's backyard back to normal, which meant everyone else went home.

"Can I go play with some of my new stuff, now?" Lilly asked after we said goodbye to everyone.

"Actually, princess, Bella and I still have a few more surprises for you." Edward smiled.

"Really! Yay!" She said clapping her hands and bouncing up and down, much like Alice when she's excited.

"I think she's been spending too much time with my pixie friend." I whispered under my breath causing Edward to chuckle and nod his agreement.

"Well come on…let's go!" Lilly said as she grabbed our hands and started dragging us towards the door.

"Alright missy…there is no need to drag us. We're coming." I laughed as I shut the door behind us.

After walking into my house, you could tell by the look on Lilly's face she had except something to be there when she opened the front door. She pouted when she didn't see any wrapped presents in the doorway or living room.

"Follow us." Edward said as we headed down the hall towards the guest room. The door was shut so when we placed her front of the closed door, she looked up at us with a raised eyebrow and tilted head.

"It's inside." I laughed.

"Your guest room?" She said confused and we nodded, urging her to open the door.

I don't know what I was expecting, but silence wasn't it. She was standing there with the door knob still in her left hand, mouth wide open.

"Lilly?" Edward finally asked. Because I was too nervous to find out what she was thinking.

"What is this?" She finally asked looking back at us.

"It's your room." He explained and that's all it seemed to take.

"YAY!" She yelled before she was off like a crazy woman checking everything out. The only time she slowed was when she hit her closet. "Wow…this is great! So can I like spend the night over here whenever I want to now? Can we have sleepovers and stuff?"

I looked over at Edward hoping for some sort of advice on how to enter the subject of the future, but he looked as lost as me.

"We'd like to talk to you sweetheart." I finally said and watched as her face fell and she instantly looked so broken. "It's nothing bad…we don't think so anyways." I smiled hoping to ease whatever worry just entered her mind. She bit her bottom lip and nodded slowly, obviously still not sure about what was going on.

"Let's go back out to the living room." Edward suggested and then headed that way. Lilly stood there for a second so I offered her my hand, which she took, and we walked out together.

"Did I do something? Are you two breaking up because of me?" She asked just above a whisper as we sat down on the couch.

"No!" We both said quickly.

"No, I didn't do something, or no you're not breaking up?"

"No to both." I said as I hugged her to my side.

"Then what's so big that you too are nervous to talk to me about?" She inquired tilting her head up to me.

"I never said she wasn't observant." Edward laughed but Lilly just sat there. "Lilly, Bella and I have been talking about the future, _a lot. _We know what we want but we want to know what you want."

"I want to be family." She said then paused and looked down at her hands. "I want…I want to be able to say Bella's my new mom. Or at least Momma B." She shrugged like we should have known this already.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah."

There was definitely a silent 'duh' in that response.

I tried my hardest not to tear up but I did and Lilly just hugged me.

"Dr. Kate and I talked the other day and I told her that I was mad that my real mother didn't want me, but I was happy that it meant I could have a new mommy that did want me. I told her I wanted you. She cried too. She said I made a breakthrough, whatever that means, and said something about not coming to see her as often. I'd like that, though I'll miss Dr. Kate. She's nice and we play dolls together. She gives me candy and…"

"I'll have to talk to Dr. Kate and see what she's suggesting." Edward cut in when he felt he had the opportunity. She nodded then sat there looking at him expectantly. "So back to the future…"

And even though it was a serious discussion, I chuckled and had the sudden urge to call him 'McFly'; he glared at my interruption but laughed at the same time. Lilly looked confused, which made sense seeing how the movie came out long before her time.

"A movie. It's classic. When you get a little older we'll watch it." I said which made her happy.

"Anyways…" Edward sighed. "Lilly, Bella and I have been thinking about…"

"The future, daddy. I got that part." She interrupted.

"Okay well…see your birthday present is kind of part of the deal. It started as a place for you to stay when we had sleepovers, but the more Bella and I talked about the future and stuff…the room well…" He struggled.

"Would you like it if you and your dad moved in with me, here in my house?" I asked.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Everyone's been waiting for Lilly's response to the question about moving in with Bella...not that it should surprise you what it is. :-) **

**It's sad but true, we're slowly closing in on the end of the story. There is probably only about another 3 chapters and then an epilogue. I haven't started writing any of them so there might be a slight delay between postings (more so than usual) and so this is me apologizing in advance. **

**Thank you for reading and reviewing as always! Love ya**

**~Tiff**

* * *

Chapter 29

**EPOV**

Bella had just asked Lilly how she would feel about actually moving in with her and was smiling sweetly waiting for a response. I on the other hand was about two seconds away from a panic attack settling in due to the silence of my usually very verbal daughter.

She had been excited about her room, but that was before she knew it was possibly a permanent place. The thought of sleep-overs with Bella had made her giddy but now I wasn't as sure as I had been because she was just staring down at her hands. Her hair had fallen forward and covered her face from both Bella and I.

"Bella…" I whispered nervously.

"Give her a minute to process it Edward." She all but laughed at me.

I wanted to listen to Bella, I did honestly, but I was still concerned. Lilly's summer hadn't actually been much of a summer vacation. She came face to face with the reality that her mother – biologically speaking anyways – didn't want her. She had been blocking the emotions of rejection and pretending like she could get that relationship from someone else. The pain finally hit her in June and I had made the decision to start her in therapy.

Therapy seemed to help her a lot. She talked to Dr. Kate easier than any of us and for that I was grateful. I believe the greatest good was done with the combined session that she and Bella had and then also the one that I was invited to as well.

I had been shocked to say the least that Bella was going to therapy – not because I didn't think she needed it, but because she hadn't told me. I knew she had been acting oddly the weeks prior to me discovering the picture Lilly drew, but I just figured she was trying to work through some additional things. It had bothered the shit out of me, but I figured if she wanted me to know she would tell me. The trust I have in Bella never let me consider that she was doing something shady, I just would have liked to have known what she was disappearing to twice a week.

When I brought my discovery to her attention, she seemed scared and nervous to admit it, but finally did and then apologized for not including me in her decision to start seeing Dr. Bromke. I had scoffed at her and then had felt the overwhelming need to kiss her in a way that would have led to more than kissing.

_More than kissing…_I thought with a heavy sigh.

I hadn't gotten more than kissing since Lilly started therapy – and this would be the reason I'm _not_ grateful for Dr. Kate.

Don't get me wrong, I understand the logic behind the request. That, however; doesn't mean I have to like the request made by the 'Therapist from Hell', as I refer to her in the depths of my blue-balled brain.

What makes it worse is that we weren't told we _couldn't_ but that we should limit our one-on-one time, and let me tell you – our one-on-one times were few and far between to begin with and now when we think we've stolen away for a quickie, we're reminded that we're either at work or that Lilly is down the hall. We'd get so far and then have to stop.

My hand just wasn't cutting it for me anymore.

And Bella – God love her – she's tried to offer her oral services, but it's just not the same so I've turned that down too. Plus what the hell would happen if she was in the middle of that and we got interrupted again?

I'm pretty sure I would go berserk on some unsuspecting person and in all likelihood, rip their fucking head off their neck.

So needless to say not only was I excited at the prospect of moving in with Bella because…well because it represented a huge ass leap in our relationship and her trust in me and what we have, but because it also meant the one-on-one time opportunities would increase dramatically.

Like tenfold and I was all for those odds.

But I've been trying to keep my hopes at bay just in case Lilly was opposed to the idea of living with Bella. She seemed to be making huge strides with Dr. Kate and coming to terms with everything. Hell what she told us five minutes ago about wanting to be a family. She wanted Bella to be that female figure in her life. She even hinted at calling her Momma B or something equally emotionally stirring.

And then that whole part of her telling Dr. Kate that she was mad at Tanya but happy because it meant she could have a new mom and she wanted Bella.

In order to keep myself from crying, like Bella was, I focused on the fact that Lilly had mentioned the idea of cutting back on her sessions.

I was brought back to the uncomfortable tension in Bella's living room when I heard a small sniffle.

I knew it wasn't Bella who was crying because I was looking at her waiting for Lilly to either agree or disagree to the idea of moving into Bella's.

"Lilly, sweetie, what's wrong?" I asked her as I got off the couch from beside her and kneeled in front of her to try and get her to look up at me. When I got down in front of her and tilted my head down even further to see her face, I was graced with a site I didn't exactly expect to see.

She was grinning from ear to ear.

And in response to seeing this, I sighed in relief and felt every muscle in my body relax. The tension instantly gone.

The next thing I knew, I was flying backwards from my crouched position with a little red headed girl clinging tightly to my neck. Lilly had jumped up from her place on the couch to hug me and hit me with so much force that it sent us both back, me landing on my ass.

I was laughing, Lilly was laughing, and Bella was laughing.

"Best birthday EVER!" She squealed as she released me and then turned around to face Bella. "I'm so excited! This is going to be so awesome! I can't wait to tell all my friends." She said then hugged Bella as well.

"Thank you." Bella whispered to Lilly, but I happened to catch it. I knew what Bella was thanking my daughter for, but Lilly did not.

"Thank you for what?" Lilly asked as she pulled away from Bella, revealing her scrunched up face and wrinkled brow.

"For wanting to live with me. It means so much to me. I can't wait to have you and your father here with me every day of every week. Thank you for liking me enough to want this and thank you for…just thank you Lilly." She said then smiled through teary eyes.

"Thank you Bella. For wanting us. For wanting me." My daughter said back and smiled then placed a kiss on Bella's cheek. "I love you Bella."

"Oh sweetie, I love you too. So much." Bella said then they hugged again.

I watched my two favorite girls in the whole world hug it out while letting the tears flow from my eyes.

We might not be a conventional family, but it's clear that's exactly what we are.

I managed to get up off the floor and walked over to the couch. I bent down and hugged them both the best I could from their position and then placed a kiss on both of their heads.

"I say we move in as soon as possible." Lilly said looking from Bella to me and then back to Bella.

"You two can move in whenever you want to. You both have clothes over here already – so it can officially be tonight if you want." Bella beamed.

"REALLY!" Lilly yelled then bounced from the couch to the floor and started jumping up and down.

"Of course." I laughed at her reaction.

"Okay! I'm going to go back to _my room_ and check out some of the stuff now!" She said and then just like that she was gone around the corner.

"I think that went well." Bella laughed.

"I don't think it could have gone better." I smiled then planted a kiss on her gorgeous lips. "I love you Bella."

"I love you too."

By the end of the weekend, Lilly and I had completely moved everything over to Bella's. It helped that I didn't move any of the big items since Bella already had all of that stuff and what I had was not really worth moving anyways.

Alice was thrilled because it would help her stage the house for renters – a process that started as soon as we confirmed that Lilly had been all for the idea of moving in with Bella.

It was easy to fall into a routine with Bella. We would wake up, she'd get ready while I woke Lilly up for school, and then Bella would get Lilly breakfast and make her lunch while I got ready for the day. When I was done getting ready, Bella would kiss Lilly goodbye and head off to the office while I took Lilly to school and then went to work as well.

Alice or Rose would get Lilly when school let out and then when we were done with work Bella and I would head home. Once home we'd walk, together, to pick up Lilly.

If Lilly had an appointment with Dr. Kate, then I would leave early, but with the way Lilly had progressed with everything, we were down to one session a week. Bella was also down to one day a week, so on that day, I was the only one to get Lilly from Rose's or Alice's.

This routine only changed if one of us was called to the hospital.

Which actually happened when Angela went into labor while she was assisting Bella with a regular appointment the first week we established our routine.

We were now down an assisting nurse. Bella refused to hire someone to replace Angela full-time and only took on part-time assistance.

While I understood why she didn't want to hire someone full-time for only a few months, it made her stressed to keep up with everything. This in turn made her tired at night, which meant I was still using my hand to take care of myself.

I was pulling my hair out of my head. I had officially been sharing a bed every night with Bella for basically 3 weeks and still nothing but heavy petting and cuddling. No sex.

"You need to get laid." Emmett casually said the Saturday before Bella's 35th birthday. We were sitting around his place drinking and chatting about the upcoming party in a week. The girls were over at Bella's with the kids doing whatever they wanted while we were _allowed_ to have a boys' night.

Apparently, even though I thought I had relaxed and lost my attitude after my fifth New Castle, I was still grumpy.

"No shit genius. Bella and I haven't had sex since June." I said and then watched their eyes bug out of their heads. "Yeah, you're telling me. 3 months. I've been without for 3 months. I think I'm going to kill someone here soon if it doesn't happen."

"How…why…I don't understand." Jasper said.

"Well Dr. Kate suggested we put a limit on our time alone…well limiting our time alone pretty much meant no time due to the lack of it to begin with. And now she's lifted our restriction since Lilly seems to have pretty much gotten it all straight in her head and is my happy little girl again, but now Angela is on maternity leave and Bella is doing more work so at night she just wants to cuddle. She's killing me with it." I said then took another pull from my beer.

"That just won't do. I'm thinking for her birthday…after the party she's going to be pissed about…we take Lilly for the night and you two get some alone time." Jasper suggested.

"If Ali doesn't agree, Rosie and I will take her for ya. Rose will definitely sympathize with ya on the 3 months. Hell she didn't even go that long when she was pregnant with Nessie." Emmett laughed while wiggling his eyebrows.

"Bella isn't doing it on purpose. She wants it too, it's just not happening right now. If I think it's about to happen, something interferes. The other night I got paged to the hospital. Lilly yelled for one of us another time." I shrugged.

"Sounds like it's time for us to step in for sure then. Let's just hope neither of you get paged next Saturday night…" Emmett said.

"We actually both took ourselves off call. If one of our patients goes into labor or something, they will get the on-call doctor at the hospital instead."

"Biggest problem already solved then." He said then popped another top of a beer.

"You know you're shit at lying right?" Bella chuckled as we drove away from the restaurant the night of her birthday.

I had been put in charge of taking Bella out for a quick dinner while everyone else, including the kids, got ready for the party. Then take her back to Jasper's on the premise of picking Lilly up.

Apparently I'm not very good at keeping secrets.

"No idea what you're talking about, love." I said trying hard to play it off.

"I asked what if we were doing anything after we get Lilly and you completely acted like you didn't hear the question, but the slight widening of your eyes gave you away." She said then sighed. "I hate surprises Edward…"

"Well technically since you know about it, it is no longer a surprise." I tried to reason which got a laugh but also got a smack across my arm as I drove. "Hey watch it; if we crash and I'm late getting you there, I'll never hear the end of it."

"Whatever. Who's house?"

"Whitlock."

"Mastermind behind the whole thing I'm assuming."

"Of course. Her and Rose wouldn't let it go. I tried to talk them out of it, but all I managed was to get them to cut the guest list to only us and few others – Angela and Ben, my parents, Charlie's even driving in with Sue…"

"Still too much." She interrupted. "Plus I know Alice and even if it's a small gathering of friends, she went overboard with it."

"Probably but can you please act surprised…I'd like to stay in one piece this evening." I said smiling thinking of the one additional surprise for Bella that I hadn't ruined yet.

She had no idea Lilly was staying with Alice and Jasper after the party.

"I'll try but I'm bad at lying too so I'm sure they'll know I figured it out." She said then winked as we pulled up to the house.

She played her part well, but Alice knew immediately that I had spilled the beans which earned me one hell of a stink eye.

As I told her, Angela and Ben were there with their little edition and therefore only stayed long enough to wish Bella a happy birthday and then were gone again. My parents were there as were Charlie and Sue, whom I assumed, was the woman with black hair and piercing black eyes with obvious Native American in her blood, and in fact I believe she could be related to Seth. I'd have to ask her later, because if she is then that's just going to be weird.

Anyways, apparently my mother and Sue are getting along just fine. By the time we got there, they were both a little more than happy off the wine that Sue had brought with her.

"Happy birthday Bella!" My mother greeted the guest of honor while embracing her in a massive hug and then planting a kiss on her cheek. "Have you met Sue yet?" She asked then grabbed Bella's and pulled her away from me and over to Sue, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you! Charlie hasn't shut-up about you…although he neglected to mention how much of a looker you are. You're beautiful dear, but I'm sure your hunk of man candy tells you that all the time huh? He's just yummy." She giggled then waved at me.

Bella's face blushed a deep red but was clearly trying to hide her smile.

"EW! That's my dad Sue!" Lilly said from the other side of the couch, hiding behind Emmett.

"Sorry munchkin but you have to know how good looking your dad is. He gets it honestly from your grandfather…some mighty fine doctors in the house…"

"Okay…I think Sue's had enough to drink." Charlie interrupted but laughed as he put his arm around his girlfriend. "Not the first impression I was hoping you'd make dear." He stage whispered.

"Let her have her fun Chuck!" Emmett boomed.

"Emmett…I warned you about calling me that. The only people who can get away with it are under the age of 10. You sir, are definitely not…"

"Only if you're counting maturity level." Rose mumbled which caused us all to laugh except Emmett.

"Aw Rosie, you hurt me." Emmett fake pouted.

"So…can I have some of the alcohol you've all apparently have partaken in?" Bella spoke up.

"I'm sober Bells!" Alice announced as she bounced up into the conversation – literally. She jumped up from the couch and grabbed Bella's hand to take her to the kitchen for a drink.

"New Castle's in the fridge. Help yourself son." Charlie said to me after Bella left with Alice and Rose, Esme and Sue following shortly behind them with the kids.

"Thank you Charlie, but I think I'm going to stay sober this evening…let Bella have as much fun as she wants and then I can make sure she's taken care of properly…"

"I bet you will." Emmett laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"There's something seriously wrong with your head. I think that helmet didn't do as much good as they thought when you were playing ball." Jasper laughed.

"It's the truth, you know with the alone time we're helping them get tonight…"

"La la la…not listening…not listening…" Charlie started chanting.

"Ditto here with Charlie…I don't want to know about the sex life of my son and a woman I consider a daughter." My dad threw in there as he sipped his beer.

After everyone else returned from the kitchen, Alice brought out the cake which was more for the kids than anyone else. Except maybe my mom and Sue who really liked the idea of cake.

After cake Alice announced that it was present time.

"I told you no presents." Bella eyed me.

"None of these are from me." I swore. And I was telling the truth. My present to her was at home and I was starting to get a little anxious.

But not because she was going to kill me when she realized what I had actually gotten her a gift that is wrapped, no I was anxious to get her alone – finally.

Not long after the presents and a few more drinks, it became evident that Charlie and my dad needed to get their women home. After thank you's and goodbyes were exchanged we spent a little more time hanging out until we realized that the kids had disappeared and were being eerily quiet.

We found them in Janie's room asleep.

"Guess it's time we get Lilly home, huh?" Bella said as she looked at my sleeping angel.

"She's staying here tonight." I said as I bent down and placed a soft kiss on her exposed neck then walked into the room to say good bye to Lilly. After kissing my girl on the cheek I turned around to see a slightly stunned Bella but a happy Bella.

"Best present of the night." She said as she grabbed my hand and led me back out to the living room where the other four were sitting.

"I think we're going to take off now." I said to them.

"Not surprised." Jasper laughed.

"Thank you guys so much for the party and presents. I really did have fun tonight." Bella said as she hugged everyone.

"There is no way a birthday goes uncelebrated in this group." Alice said. "Have fun tonight. Enjoy the grown-up time."

"Oh we plan on it." Bella said then winked at me and then we headed out to the car. The drive home was just around the corner, which was good because the way Bella instantly attached her hand to my body, I wouldn't have survived anything longer.

I felt like a damn hormonal teenager, more so than usual around her. If I didn't have to shut the car off, I would have been out of it before it stopped just in hopes of getting her in the house quicker.

We still made it through the door pretty damn quick and I had no sooner shut-it behind when she shoved me against it.

The look in her eyes told me everything. This was going to happen right here against the front door and I was okay with that, for the first round.

As she attacked my lips, I switched our positions and now held her against the door. We made quick work of our clothes, throwing them anywhere and everywhere.

"I don't want to hurt you." I mumbled as I gripped her ass in preparation to lift her.

"You won't. I want this just as bad as you do Edward." She said then arched herself off the door, pressing her stomach into my rock hard dick.

"Fuck baby…" I moaned and then in one swift movement, I lifted her and sheathed myself inside. I used the door to support her but kept my hands on her waist to help me keep a grip on her

"SHIT!" We both screamed out at the same time.

"So good baby…" I mumbled against the hot sweaty skin of her breasts as I thrust into her over and over again.

"Ugh…Edward…so close already…" She said as her hands found their way from gripping my shoulders to my hair and then she pulled – hard. At the same time, her head fell forward to my ear. "Cum with me."

Not a problem to grant her that request.

"Son of a bitch." I growled as I felt my release hit me the same time I watched hers hit.

It was quick, it was hard, it was messy and yet somehow absolutely perfect and still felt like we had just made love and not had a shameless "against a door" fuck.

"I love you so much." Bella whispered into the dark house.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Hello everyone! This one is shorter than the last few, but not by too much. I think you're going to enjoy this one, but it comes with this sad point - we're down to two (maybe three) chapters and an epilogue. I know, I know...**

**I do have a couple of stories in the pipeline though. They're currently in the outline/prolgue stages; I just don't know which one I want to fully take-on after Lonely Doctor is finished. So...I'm recruiting you, my friends/readers/fans, to help me decide which one to work on.**

**First choice is: all characters are adults in NYC. This is drama and angst. Eventual cannon pairings, but everything starts off very _interesting_ to say the least. I got the idea from a Jimmy Buffett song. ha**

**Second choice is: Younger characters but not in high school, LA for the main setting. We will have cops, bad guys, undercover work. Again eventually we'll have our cannon couples. Definitely drama filled with some humor. **

**Thoughts? :-) **

**~Tiff**

* * *

Chapter 30

**BPOV**

So I had been hoping to at least it make it upstairs to my bedroom before attacking Edward, but that was shot to shit before we even were in the house.

My front door would never be the same for me. Every time I would look at it, I would remember how amazing it felt to have Edward holding me against it. How perfectly we fit together and moved together.

After we both caught our breath, he swept me off my feet and carried me upstairs to our bedroom.

_Our bedroom_.

It still makes me smile to think of him and Lilly living with me. It's been absolutely perfect having them both with me all the time. Our schedule is still a little crazy but with Lilly in school again that has helped a bit.

When we walked into the bedroom, my eyes immediately zoned in on the wrapped package in the middle of the bed.

"What is this Edward?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him. He had already done enough for me on my birthday. The party had been wonderful, even though I wasn't happy at the beginning, I definitely enjoyed myself. He and Lilly gave me a combined birthday present of a card which conveyed their love and made my heart melt.

It was all more than enough for me.

But this package was small and square. And it made me nervous.

"Don't fight me on this. I promise I didn't buy you anything." He said as he set me down on the bed still in all my naked glory.

"I don't care..." But trailed off when he set me down because I got a great view of him in all _his_ naked glory and it distracted me.

"Let's put some clothes on or we'll never get anywhere with this." He sighed as he pulled a pair of boxer briefs on and tossed me one of shirts.

After we were both covered again, he sat down next to me and handed me the box.

"Edward, I told you…"

"And I told you I didn't spend any money on that." He said pointing to the box I was holding. So with a reluctant sigh, I opened the box.

Inside was a miniature figurine of The Leaning Tower of Pisa and a toy car.

"What is this Edward?"

"It's a promise. I promise next year during Lilly's summer vacation that we're taking a trip to Italy and while we're there, we are going to get you that little red sports car that you want. I'm thinking a Maserati GranTurismo S would suit you just beautifully." He grinned.

I was speechless.

He hadn't spent any money on the gift, but what he was promising was going to be so much more than what I _thought_ was in the little black box.

"You're not buying me a Maserati Edward or paying for a trip to Italy for all of us." I scolded.

"We'll see, love." He said then kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday."

"We'll discuss this later." I said.

"I'm sure of it. But right now, I don't want to talk about anything." He said as he removed both the tower and car from my hands and then slowly started leaning me back into the pillows.

The end of October usually only means one thing for me; getting a ton of candy to hand out.

This year, however; it means a few things: getting a ton of candy to hand, helping Lilly with a costume, finding something for Edward and me to wear to the McCarty's party the weekend before Halloween, and trying to count backwards to figure how late I really was.

Two weeks as I found out.

I called my doctor and scheduled an appointment to meet with her. I had to do it while I knew Edward would be preoccupied with something so I had to wait another two days until the Friday before Rose and Emmett's party. I knew I didn't want to go by myself, but Alice can't keep quiet to save her soul.

"Huge favor to ask you." I said as soon as Rose picked up her phone.

"Okay…" She hesitated.

"Is there any way you can come pick me up at the office and take me to take care of something real quick?"

"Umm…I have Ness with me. Is that okay?"

"Yeah that's fine. I just don't want to be by myself."

"Are you okay?" She quickly asked and I quickly laughed, nervously. "Bella?"

"I hope so." I sighed. "Can you be here in a half hour?"

"I'll be there in five minutes." She said then hung up the phone.

I was desperately trying not to get my hopes up seeing as the doctor told me I wouldn't be able to carry a child so even if by some miraculous thing I was pregnant I wasn't even sure I would carry full term. Something that would absolutely rip me apart.

But at the same time, the fact that I actually conceived would be more than what the doctor thought possible – especially since I haven't been on any kind of hormone therapy regimen.

My only sign that this was a possibility was being late and that could also just mean I was stressed about something or that my diet had changed or so many other things could contribute to that.

I was in my office going from pacing to sitting but bouncing my leg uncontrollably when Rose busted through.

"Explain now." She said as she shut the door behind her.

"I can't here. Can we please just leave and I'll tell you when we're in the car. I don't want anyone else to possibly know. I'm only trusting you because I know you won't say anything to anyone…"

"Are you fucking dying?" She whispered with wide eyes.

"Way to be dramatic Rose." I chided. "No I'm not dying."

"Well you sure as hell seem like something's wrong."

"It's…well…I could…" I said then stopped when Angela poked her head into my office. She was the only other person in the office at the time and I felt bad about not telling her what was going on, but if it turned out to be not true or if something happened, the fewer people who knew would be best.

"Sorry to interrupt boss lady but I just had a patient call asking if she could get squeezed in today? She doesn't care what time, but she thinks she might be pregnant and she wants to get a test done." Angela said. I tried to control my facial expression so as not to show any kind of emotion and while Angela didn't seem to catch any kind of change on my face, Rose choke on her own spit.

I chanced a side glance to Rose who quickly recovered herself before turning back to Angela. "I have an errand to run with Rose here and then depending on how long that takes, I might not be able to get back in here. Tell her to come on in though; you can perform the test without me here. I trust ya."

"Ok sounds good." She said then turned back around and let the door shut behind her. Luckily she had returned to work because I would not have asked the temp I had in there to do the test and then that would have meant I would have had to plan to be back in the office. Which would be okay if I got good news from the doctor. Not okay if my news was less than stellar.

"Car now." Rose demanded and all but pulled me down the hall and out to her Mercedes. She strapped Vanessa in and then quickly joined me in the car. "Spill."

"What do you think you know?" I asked tipping my head back against the headrest and then closed my eyes.

"I saw it in your eyes in that office. That certain flash of something more than just running a routine pregnancy test. Are you?"

"I'm two weeks late and I've never been late. Ever. It's the only _symptom_ I have but if I am then I need to start seeing the doctor immediately. So…"

"Super sperm." She snorted.

"We don't know that yet Rose. It could be anything." I sighed. "Can we head that way?"

"Sure." She said then pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the other side of town to my doctor's office. Lisa was waiting for me in the reception area when we arrived.

She ushered me back to an exam room with Rose and Vanessa in tow. After getting into the room she handed me a cup and pointed me in the direction of the bathroom. And then five minutes later I walked back into the exam room and sat in one of the chairs.

Rose and I didn't say a word to each other. The only interaction we had was when she placed her hand on my knee to keep it from bouncing.

Ten minutes after that Lisa walked back into the room and this time she had supplies to take blood, a mobile ultrasound machine, and a cautious smile on her face.

"It would seem that you are pregnant." She said and I instantly started crying. My head dropped into my hands and I just sobbed.

So many if's started running through my mind. So many questions. So many concerns. So many emotions.

I was beyond thrilled, I was terrified, I was nervous, I was unsure of anything.

I have no idea how long I sat there crying into my hands before I felt Rose start rubbing my back.

"How…" I hiccupped finally.

"Well honey, see when a man and woman…" Rose started which got me to chuckle.

"There is much to discuss but first let's get some blood to test hormone levels and then I'm going to do a quick ultrasound just to see if I can get a look at everything. Maybe a conception date and due date. Depends on what I can see of course. Hop on up here." She said as she patted the bed.

I did as I was told and looked at Rose for the first time since the doctor came back in. She was crying as well.

After the blood was taken, Lisa started the ultrasound.

A month and half roughly along.

Conceived on my birthday.

Due date early June.

After the ultrasound was finished and everything seemed to be okay, Lisa started going over the blood work.

I was going to need to not only take prenatal vitamins, but also hormone pills. I was also going to have to go into the doctor once a week until I hit the magical 3 month mark.

The 3 month mark that fell a week before Christmas.

"I can see it in your eyes and can tell your brain is working overtime. You're not planning on telling him are you?" Rose asked as we sat in her car at the local park. I told her I didn't want to go back to the office but I also wasn't ready to go home yet.

"I'm torn. I don't want to tell him because if I do and then he gets his hopes up and…I…loose it then he'll be devastated and I don't want that to happen, but I want him to know because not only will this be damn near impossible to hide, but if something does happen, his support will be needed." I sighed.

"He should know. You don't have to tell anyone else. I'll keep my mouth shut, but Edward should know. End of story. I don't fight you on many things, but I will fight you on this one and in fact if you tell me you aren't going to tell him, I just might do it myself."

"That doesn't surprise me one bit." I said with a chuckle and smile. "Rose I'm so scared. What if something happens…what if I can't carry and…" I said as my eyes began to fill with moisture again.

"You can't think that way. You've got a good doctor and you're excellent so you know what you should and shouldn't do. You're doing everything you can and so far the doctor said everything looks great. The hormone pills will keep your levels where you need them and with the weekly appointments…you'll catch any fluctuation in time and then you'll fix it."

"Right. So tell Edward and don't think about the sad stuff." I laughed.

"You know what he's going to do when you tell him, don't you?" Rose said quirking an eyebrow in my direction.

"Yes." I sighed then fastened my seatbelt as her cue to head back to the office.

"Just thought I would remind you." She laughed.

"No need." I smiled then we fell back into silence as we drove.

So many thoughts started running through my head, most of which I instantly pushed out of my head as soon as they entered. Things that I was going to keep myself from thinking about until after we hit the 3 month mark.

Things like names and colors, how Lilly will react to the news, how _everyone_ will react to the news.

Occasionally things would slip through and I would get a glimpse of what I thought it would be like and I would smile.

But hope was something I was trying desperate to keep at bay.

The drive back was only about a twenty minute drive and went too fast. Before exiting I turned around and said good bye to Vanessa who waved and smiled then turned to Rose.

"Thank you for coming with me today. I wouldn't have been able to do it alone."

"Well…Edward probably should have been the one, but I'm glad you turned to me. That means more to me than you probably know." She said then hugged me. "Congratulations. No one deserves it more than you." She whispered in my ear then kissed my cheek before pulling away.

"Thank you." I said then wiped at more tears.

I went into the office and grabbed my stuff before heading back out, avoiding as much personal interaction as possible. I was hoping to get back home before Edward did with Lilly. I needed time to think about how and when I was going to talk to him.

Unfortunately, he was running early and got home about an hour before I was expecting him.

Meaning I hadn't been able to collect myself completely.

"Bella! Guess what I did today!" Lilly said as she bounced into the kitchen, her father closely following.

"Hmmm…I don't know sweetie. What?"

"I learned my multiplication tables through six!" She said then showed me her chart showing that she'd in fact had mastered the multiplication tables through six.

"Well congratulations! Are you excited to learn seven through ten now?"

"Yes." She smiled.

"Do you have homework tonight?" Edward asked and Lilly nodded her head. "Why don't you go and get started on that while Bella and I figure out what we're doing for dinner tonight. Something tells me it might be a delivery kind of night so what sounds good to you?" He said to Lilly but looked at me questioningly.

My emotions written all over my face apparently.

"Hmm…can we order Chinese tonight? I want some of the chicken and rice stuff again. It was really good."

"Is that okay with Bella?" He asked me.

"Of course." I smiled.

"Cool." She said then took off to her room leaving Edward and I alone in the kitchen.

I knew if I hesitated or danced around what was bothering me I would start crying and then he would start getting nervous, that was obvious so about all I had been able to decide on was to just blurt it out and see what happened.

"What's wrong?" He asked as soon as I opened my mouth effectively stopping me mid-blurt.

I stared at him for just a second before taking a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant." I whispered never moving my eyes from his face. If it is truly possible for jaws to hit the ground, then Edward's did. But he didn't say anything.

I decided to give him a minute to process everything, but he wasn't blinking. He wasn't moving. He was doing anything. "Edward please say something." I begged.

"How?" He asked causing me to smile at the memory of Rose when I asked the same question and then went with her less than lady-like response.

"Super sperm." I laughed but then stopped when I saw his face go white. "What's wrong?"

"Are you going to be able to carry? Is this really going to happen? God Bella…there's so many questions." He said then started pulling on his hair as he paced the kitchen.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat this. There is still a chance that I won't carry to term. Our first hurdle is the 3 month mark. I'm on medicine to increase my hormone levels and I have a standing appointment with my doctor for every Friday until that date comes. Until we hit that 3 month mark, I don't want to tell anyone. Especially Lilly. She's too young to try and process something like this if I don't carry. Rose is the only other person who knows giving us a grand total of 4 people knowing."

"When is the 3 month mark?"

"The week before Christmas." I said and then watched the math start up in his head. "My birthday." I smiled at him.

"This is so unbelievable and wonderful and scary and…" He sighed.

"I know." I snorted.

All of a sudden he stopped walking and just stared at me and I knew.

I knew what he was thinking. I knew what he was going to do. It was exactly what Rose had said in the car. It was something that was going to be coming eventually, but I didn't want him to do it because I was pregnant.

And while I knew it wasn't just because I was pregnant it still felt like he was only going to do it at that exact moment because of the news I had just told him.

But as I watched him walk out of the kitchen without a word spoken, I started wondering if Rose and I had been completely wrong about what was going to happen. What if we had been so totally wrong about his reaction?

I heard him run up the stairs and heard him in the bedroom but he never spoke a word.

Then before I could control myself, I was crying.

"Please don't cry." Edward said tipping my chin up with his right index finger and then wiped my tears with his thumbs.

"You walked away…" I sniffed.

"I had to get something." He smiled and then dropped down to one knee as he pulled a red velvet box out of the pocket in his scrubs.

And I started crying again.

This was what I thought was going to happen and it was what I wanted but I was still worried about the timing of the whole thing. Was he rushing into this because of the pregnancy? The only thing that eased my mind was the fact that he had a ring already. This wasn't something completely unplanned, out of blue. He had planned enough already to have a ring.

"I was planning on doing this for Christmas, but I think now is the perfect timing." He said then opened the ring box revealing a beautiful oval diamond. The band was platinum and had diamonds lining it. A gasp escaped my lips involuntarily.

"Isabella Marie Swan, will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

"Of course." I said then squealed with delight as he slid the ring on my finger and then lifted me up to spin me in circles.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Okay so this one is much shorter than I usually post so sorry for that, but life has decided to remind me that it's not always butterflies and rainbows so the chapter is shorter than I wanted and later getting posted than I wanted. Hope you still enjoy it...it's Edward's point of view of the last chapter with a little bit additional at the end. **

* * *

Chapter 31

**E****POV**

When I got back to the office after being at the hospital pretty much all day, I expected to find Bella there taking care of general stuff around the place. Instead I found only Angela, a very confused and worried Angela.

She hadn't been back to work for very long but it was still long enough to get accustomed to the improved working environment in the office. I was the first to admit that the office was a damn cesspool of lovey dovey feelings ever since Bella and I figured everything out and Lilly and I moved in and it had rubbed off on everyone we worked with.

So to find Angela upset and worried about something caused me to worry. Especially since Bella wasn't anywhere to be found and Angela had no idea where she was.

She had told me that Rose stopped by around noon and the two of them left. Bella gave Angela no indication when she would be back; in fact she told her she might not be back. Bella had stopped back by the office but avoided eye contact with Angela and went in to her office, retrieved her stuff, and then immediately left again telling Angela only that she could leave for the day as well.

Luckily for me Angela had not left but stayed hoping I would come back to the office before leaving to get Lilly and go home.

Having talked to Angela gave me a little prep time for what might have been waiting for me when we got home.

I picked Lilly up about an hour earlier than originally planned, which thrilled Lilly even more than she already was. She talked nonstop about what she had done at school and I tried to pay attention, I really did, but all I could think about was what could have been bothering Bella. I had no idea. No clue whatsoever.

Lilly bounded into the house when we finally got there and seemed oblivious to the clues written all over Bella's face.

She had been crying. Recently.

She also seemed scared, an emotion that I didn't typically get from her. She put on a smile for Lilly which didn't surprise me one bit, but when she glanced at me for just a second it faltered and I knew something was wrong.

Or at least something was definitely up.

My only concern was figuring it out and since Bella had put on a smile for Lilly, I assumed it was something we wouldn't be discussing in front of her so I got her out of the kitchen as quickly as possible.

I had been prepared for everything I could think of. I was prepared for her to tell me that someone had died or was very ill. I was prepared for her to tell me that she was offered some sort of position that she just couldn't pass up. I was prepared for her to tell me that one our friends did something stupid. I was prepared for absolutely anything except what she told me.

Two little words that rang in my ears.

Two little words that changed everything I had planned for us.

Two little words that made everything absolutely perfect.

"I'm pregnant." She whispered to me and I had no idea how to respond except to stare at her just long enough for her to start to worry about my reaction.

My reaction was shock but pure joy. Joy that I hadn't expressed to her yet and which my brain seemed unable to do, however; it didn't take me long to snap into doctor mode though.

She had never explained to me the details of why she couldn't carry, but I remember it being a pretty certain condition. This set off a ton of warning bells in my head.

She had conceived but could she carry to term? What did we need to do in order to ensure a full pregnancy? Were there any concerns for Bella's health during this? Would carrying this child cause harm to Bella?

I was worrying about all the things she had already considered of course, which is why she looked like a person in complete turmoil. Part of her wanted to be thrilled and excited while the other part was scared, nervous, and cautious.

We had a lot we had to think about; a lot to talk about but all I wanted to know was when the 3 month mark would be. That was the first hurdle we had to make it to and I knew this all too well.

Of course also knowing when the 3 month mark was going to be would tell me the due date and when we conceived.

I really wanted to know both of those.

Finding out it was her birthday that we conceived was again perfect. We had managed to find alone time after her birthday but not much and they were not romantic situations at all.

The horny teenager in me hoped it happened when we attacked each other against the door, but the romantic side of me hoped it was one of the many times I worshiped her body properly.

In the end it doesn't matter. All that mattered was that the woman I love more than anything is pregnant with a baby that she was never supposed to be able to even conceive.

The woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was pregnant with my child.

It was a no brainer what I was going to do. It was going to happen eventually anyways; I had just originally planned to do it at Christmas. I already talked to Charlie and got his permission, which he thought was hilarious.

I had the ring already. In fact I had actually purchased it after Lilly and I moved in with her. I had hid it in the back of a drawer, hoping she wouldn't find it when she put laundry away and headed upstairs to retrieve it as soon as I made the decision to ask.

The only problem was that I took off up the stairs without informing Bella that I would be right back, so when I came back down she was tearing up again.

What she could have possibly thought I was doing was beyond me, but as soon as I dropped to my knee she started crying again only this time she was smiling as well.

The smile gave me everything I needed to continue.

When she said yes to my question, everything in the world just stopped. It was just she and I in the kitchen hugging, spinning, crying, and kissing.

Nothing else mattered.

"We need to tell Lilly. She needs to be the first to know." Bella said as I set her back on her feet. I nodded in agreement before kissing her nose.

"Only about the engagement though, right?" I mumbled.

"Yes only about the engagement. When the time comes we'll tell her about the other thing and she might be mad at first that we kept it from her or she might not even realize that we didn't tell her when we found out because she'll be so excited otherwise. But either way, we'll deal with it because if I can't carry to full term Lilly shouldn't have to deal with that."

"I agree." I said and I did agree. I completely agreed with that. Not telling anyone else, not just Lilly, before the 3 month mark was perfectly fine by me.

A lot of people wait until that time to announce it to everyone else in their lives.

Alice was going to be upset though. That I knew for a fact.

"Let's go tell her now." Bella smiled as she grabbed my hand and started walking back towards Lilly's bedroom. "Lilly?"

"Hmm?" She said as looked up at us from her book.

"Can we talk about something really quick?" I asked her.

"Sure." She shrugged.

"Well we wanted you to be the first to know…" I started and watched as she started smiling bigger. "I just asked Bella to marry me and she said yes."

The sound that came out of my daughter was ridiculously high pitched.

"Oh my god! I'm so excited! Yay! I can't wait to tell everyone…can we tell everyone now? Can we? Can I help you decide on stuff Bella? Please! I promise I won't get in the way. Please. Pretty please." She said while bouncing around the room.

Bella just laughed at her but nodded her head.

"Of course you can help me decide on things, like color and what dress I should buy. And of course you'll have to decide what dress you want to wear because you'll want to make sure you look wonderful standing up there next to me…"

"Ahhh!" Lilly yelled then ran at Bella and wrapped her arms around her waist. "You mean that?"

"Of course I mean that. I'll want Rose, Alice, and you standing next to me. You're very much a part of this celebration." She said smiling down at Lilly with tears glistening in her eyes.

"Thank you." Lilly said and hugged her tighter before releasing her and then turning to hug me. "Thank you daddy."

The sentiment caught me off guard to say the least.

"Why are you thanking me?" I asked as combed her hair with my fingers.

"For loving Bella and for making her officially my new mom. Everything's just how I wanted it to be." She said then looked up at me with tears in her eyes too.

I did what any father would do when his little girl was as happy as my little girl was.

I cried and hugged her as close as I could get her.

"We're going to be a real family now." Lilly whispered in my ear as she hugged me back just as tight as I was holding her.

"We sure are baby girl."

"So…about telling everyone…can we invite them over tonight for Chinese with us? Do you think they'll come?" Lilly asked me and then looked over to Bella questioning if it was okay.

"I'm almost positive they'll be able to come over." Bella replied as she got out her phone to make a phone call. "I'll just call Rose really quick."

"Have you ordered the food yet daddy?"

"Not yet honey…we got sidetracked." I chuckled.

"Rose…if you and Em don't already have plans…" Bella said into her phone but was cut off by a squeal very unlike Rose. "Rose, Rose, ROSE!...Okay see you soon."

"Are they coming?" I asked after she hung up the phone.

"Of course they are. Alice and Jasper just _happened_ to be over there for last minute dinner plans and they hadn't ordered yet so…" She said then rolled her eyes and sighed.

I stifled a laugh because it was clear that Rose was expecting me to do what I did so she invited Alice and Jasper over in the hope that we would announce it tonight.

The door bell rang less than five minutes later and the whole bunch filed in. Judging by the looks on Emmett, Jasper, and Alice's faces though, Rose had not given away anything about the last minute dinner invite. How she had explained her earlier outburst of excitement when Bella called was a mystery to me.

What wasn't a mystery to me or a surprise, was how quick Alice noticed the addition to Bella's left hand.

"OH MY GOD!" She screamed before we even said our hello's.

"I know right!" Rose said just as excited and then Alice immediately stopped jumping around and clapping her hands. Rose instantly caught her mistake and went ghost white and wide-eyed.

"You already knew? And you didn't think to fill me in? What the hell Rose…so not cool." She pouted. "How did you know before me? I don't like this at all. We should have all found out at the same time."

"That's my fault." I quickly said.

"Humph." Alice said crossing her arms over her chest, still pouting. "I thought we were friends too Edward."

"We are Ali…it's just I needed Rose's help and since she's right next door…"

"Fine. I get it. It all makes sense now…the _last minute_ invite over for dinner…"

"I'm so confused!" Emmett whined as he walked in with Vanessa.

"Bella and my dad are getting married!" Lilly announced as she started mimicking Alice's earlier jumping and clapping causing all of us to laugh.

"I take it she's okay with this." Jasper said through his chuckles.

"Yes." Bella smiled.

"Well woohoo you guys!" Emmett said as he picked Bella up in a giant bear hug and began to spin her around in circles.

Rose and I both cringed a little but Bella just smiled and laughed at the big dumb oaf.

"Set me down before I puke on you." She said and he quickly obeyed.

"Congrats. We should pop a bottle of champagne to celebrate." Jasper said as he gave Bella a hug.

"Eh…that doesn't really go well with the dinner selection of the evening." Bella said.

"So what is for dinner?" Alice asked.

"Chinese." Lilly grinned.

"Sounds wonderful. Make sure you tell Mr. Wo that you're ordering for Emmett so he'll know to give us one of everything." Rose laughed and caused us all to laugh along with her.

Two hours later we were all stuffed full of egg rolls, wonton soup, kung pao chicken, moo shu, and of course fried rice.

Most of which had been consumed by Bella and not Emmett which, go figure, everyone seemed to notice.

"Hungry much Bells." Jasper laughed.

"Huh…guess so." Bella nervously laughed. "Didn't realize it until the food was in front of me."

"You put me to shame girlie!" Emmett said.

"Busy day today and I didn't get to eat anything…in fact I kind of forgot to eat that's how bad it was."

"We all have days like that." Rose offered. "Probably should watch that though." She added with a pointed look.

"Yeah Bella. My teacher says it's bad to not eat…she said not eating is called anorexia and that it's very bad."

"Mamma, what's anna rexia?" Janie asked Alice.

"Anorexia dear and it's a sickness when people don't eat food."

"Well judging by Bella's appetite tonight we don't need to worry about that." I laughed earning me a smack from Bella. "Ow…sorry sweetheart."

"Yeah you better be." She glared at me and I read the hidden message loud and clear.

'_You did this to me asshole. It's your fault I'm a pig now.'_

I just smiled at her then kissed her cheek lovingly.

"I love you so much Bella." I whispered in her ear which earned me a giggle and a kiss back.

Before everyone started working their way to the front door, we discussed the timing and the plans for Rose and Emmett's Halloween party for the next night. The party was due to start at 7:00, which meant we would show up at 5:00 so the girls could get their costumes on together. This included Janie, Lilly, and of course Vanessa.

"Okay well we'll see you all tomorrow at 5 then." Rose said. "Congrats again. Love you." She added as she hugged Bella.

"Yes congrats again! Yay I'm so excited to get started on planning everything. We'll have to schedule a meeting with the dress shop…oh or I could design the dress for you. That would be so much fun…"

"Alice…I just said yes to the man. Let's wait until after the holidays to even think about planning, okay?" Bella suggested.

"But…" She started and then was cut off by Emmett.

"Good night you guys."

"Night Em." We both said.

"Let's go Ali…we gotta get Janie and Alex to bed it's late." Jasper urged.

"But…" She said then huffed. "Okay fine."

"You know I love you Ali." Bella said as she leaned in to her hug her friend.

"I know you do and I also know you're hiding something." She said and then Bella stiffened. "I'll find out missy and you know it."

"I'm not hiding anything Alice." Bella said.

"Sure whatever. See you tomorrow!" She said then she and the other three were gone leaving Bella and I at the door with a still hyper Lilly behind us.

"I know you told Alice no, but can we start with colors tonight? Please!"

All I could do was laugh.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Well holy crap...I can't believe it has been over a month since my last update. I am so sorry you guys! I really never thought this chapter would be this hard to write but it was and I reworked it about four times before I settled on this version of it. On top of all of that I've been dealing with some personal issues and family things. *sigh*. I'm sure you all heard about the stage collapse here in Indy...I was not there but I was supposed to be with my cousin who was in the 12th row. Luckily she and her husband moved about 30 seconds before the whole damn thing fell right where they were, but another family member was not as lucky and is still in the hospital. So...while I am truly sorry this is so late and could have possibly been posted two weeks ago, I've been a little preoccupied the past week and a half. :( I'm hoping you all can understand. Writing this story is a top priority for me and I try to write at least a little bit every day whether it be a full on portion of the chapter or ideas for the chapter. With that said, I'm thinking the next chapter will go up much sooner for you to help "make up for" this delay. Plus - you're not going to like where I left it so I'll want to wrap it up for you quickly. **

**Thank you all for your continued support and reviews and adding me to alerts. You're all AMAZING! **

* * *

**Chapter 32**

**BPOV**

Keeping a secret like being pregnant is harder than I had originally thought. It was exceedingly more difficult at Thanksgiving when everyone and their families gathered at our house.

And I do mean everyone and their families. We're talking like 22 people. That's a lot of mouths to feed and a lot of questioning glances my direction.

By this time I was almost positive Alice thought I was mad at her for something since I had been avoiding her. Well avoiding isn't really the right word, because there would be hell to pay if I was _avoiding_ her. I just hadn't really talked to her about personal details of my life for the past month. And because I wasn't really sharing with Alice, I knew she was sharing with Jasper.

And if there's anyone else I didn't want to start really observing me it was Jasper Whitlock. The man can usually nail down my emotions with one look.

At Thanksgiving though, I realized there were two other people I didn't really want paying close attention to my actions – Esme and Carlisle.

And let me just tell you Carlisle is a sneaky bastard.

We had made it through the whole night – dinner, games and all – and were saying good bye to everyone when Carlisle hugged me tight.

"You'll tell everyone when you're ready." He whispered and then pulled away leaving me completely stunned.

I tried to control my facial expression and luckily they were the last to leave so it was just them and then Edward and no one seemed to be the wiser but Carlisle sure caught it and judging by the smug smile on his face I had just confirmed what he had suspected.

My weekly doctor appointments were getting harder to hide from Angela at work, but we were still managing.

And speaking of my doctor appointments, everything was progressing beautifully and at my last appointment before the 3 month mark the doctor was able to cut down my appointments to one every two weeks.

So a week before Christmas it was official that we had hit the first hurdle and cleared it without any problems.

Now the next hurdle was telling our friends and family without them getting mad at us.

Christmas fell on a Saturday and the plans were Charlie and Sue were coming out Christmas Eve and spending the night with us, doing the whole present thing then and then leaving for Sue's families Saturday morning. Esme and Carlisle were going to be coming Christmas morning and spending the day with us as well as the evening.

As the tradition had always been, Christmas night was reserved for friends. It was Alice and Jasper's turn to host the get together and we would be gathering around 7 after all family time was finished.

Edward and I had to decide how to tell everyone and when to tell everyone.

One thing we both knew was that we wanted Lilly to be the first we told.

"Lil, Grandpa Charlie and Sue will be here soon and we have something to talk to you about before they get here. Can you come here please?" Edward shouted towards the bedroom while we both sat in the living room.

We had placed exactly one present under the tree. She would be opening it right now.

"Do you think she'll get it?" I asked under my breath as I stared at the present.

"Definitely." He smiled then Lilly walked in.

"What's up?" She asked as she sat on the corner of the coffee table looking at both of us, not even noticing the gift under the tree.

"We have a present we want you to open before Charlie and Sue arrive. We want it to be just the three of us when you open it." Edward smiled then nodded towards the tree.

"Really!" She screeched before jumping up and bouncing towards the Christmas tree we had decorated as a family.

"Yes really. It's all yours. Rip in to it." I laughed at her excitement.

After she ripped off the paper and untied the box she took one look at what was staring her in the face and screeched even louder before running towards Edward and I. The picture frame was pink with the words 'I'm the big sister' scrolled around the edge in white lettering.

"Do you like it?" Edward laughed as he caught his flying daughter.

"Like it? I love it! Is it…am I really going to be a big sister?" She asked.

"Yes. I figured we'll put the first picture of you holding him in that frame and put it somewhere in your room, if you'd like."

"Him?" She asked. The wording also got me an eyebrow raise from Edward.

"Well, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet, but that's what I feel like it is." I smiled.

"Am I the first to know?" She asked hopefully and I knew this would be the problem of the whole weekend.

"No honey. Aunt Rose knows because she took me to my doctor's appointment. She knew before your dad knew." I said lightly hoping that would help if she took it the wrong way. I also did not say anything about Carlisle because I was the only one who knew about that little bit of information.

"Cool! I know before Aunt Alice! She always says she knows everything before anyone else, but not this. Can I tell everyone else?"

And that was what we were kind of hoping she'd want to do. Edward and I had decided that letting Lilly tell everyone would be the best option. It would be the first thing out of her mouth more than likely and her expression would just make the whole thing great. She would tell everyone better than Edward and I ever could.

"If you want." Edward said right as the doorbell rang. "And you can do it however you want starting with Grandpa Charlie and Sue."

And then she was gone. Sprinting towards the door. She yanked it open and before Charlie or Sue could say anything she started in.

"Guess what?" She greeted as Charlie and Sue attempted to make their way into the house with their bags and the gifts we told them not to buy.

"What little one?"

"I'm gonna be a big sister!" She said grinning from ear to ear.

My dad dropped everything in his hands as soon as the first syllable of sister was out of Lilly's mouth.

"Merry Christmas." I laughed as Edward put his around me.

Yes having Lilly tell everyone was going to be the best idea.

"Congratulations Bella, Edward!" Sue exclaimed as she reached to hug me and Edward.

"Thanks Sue. We're thrilled about it especially considering everything." Edward said but then taking in the expression on both Sue's face and my father's remembered I had not shared certain details with them. With Lilly in the room it was going to have to wait though. "Grown up discussion later." He whispered.

"Was this a surprise then?" My dad asked.

"Definitely a surprise." I laughed.

Spending the day with just my dad and Sue was great. They had spoiled Lilly rotten with the presents they bought her and then of course the present for Edward and I which was a check to put towards whatever honeymoon/vacation we decided on.

Honeymoon – another thing Edward and I were discussing; timing of the wedding and then the following honeymoon.

The only decision we had made so far was that we wanted to include Lilly and the new baby on at least a portion of the vacation.

So far we had gotten as far as Disney World in Florida for a few days and then taking a few more days with just the two of us somewhere nice.

Logistics were still in the works. My main logistics person didn't know I was pregnant yet so we couldn't get too detailed on anything with her.

Charlie and Sue stayed Christmas Eve and left early Saturday morning, before we were all even awake. Sue's family lived in Northern California and it was going to be a four hour drive for them and they wanted to get there by 9:00.

Lilly woke us up at 7 for presents but we made her wait until Esme and Carlisle were there which was only about an hour later.

What surprised me was that Lilly waited until after she had opened all of her gifts to tell Esme and Carlisle, although she looked like she was bursting at the seams the whole time.

"Grandma? Grandpa? Can I show you something?" She said excitedly.

"Sure honey." Esme laughed at her granddaughter's exuberance over something.

Lilly just smiled before running off towards her bedroom. When she reappeared she had her picture frame hiding behind her back.

"I want to show you my favoritest gift from dad and Bella." She said then shoved the picture frame into Esme's hands.

And audible gasp was quickly followed by tears. Carlisle just smiled at the two of us.

"Are you…adopting? Or are you…are you…"She said struggling to get the question out.

"We're pregnant."

"How far along?"

"Just past the 3 month mark. We wanted to wait to tell everyone until the first trimester was in the books. Everything seems to be normal and we're healthy as can be."

"It's a miracle." She said as she stood up and hugged me.

"I feel like it." I said as I hugged her back trying to hold in my tears.

"Congrats son." Carlisle said as he hugged Edward.

"Thanks pops."

"Are you ready to help Bella with the baby?" Carlisle asked Lilly.

"Yep! I can't wait to help her with the baby and play with him and…"

"Him?" Esme and Carlisle both questioned.

"That's what Bella keeps saying." Lilly shrugged. "But this is just so cool to know I'm going to be a big sister. My friend Marcella at school is a big sister and she loves it but she said the baby cries a lot. Bella? Will this one cry a lot too?"

"Probably sweetheart. Babies tend to cry all the time since they can't talk yet they have to let us know when they're hungry and when they need their diaper changed or just because sometimes." I laughed.

"You cried a lot." Edward mumbled.

"Humph. Whatever dad." Lilly said rolling her eyes before disappearing to her stock pile of presents in her bedroom.

Esme was smiling but still crying.

"Mom?" Edward asked.

"I'm just so excited and so happy for you two and...you're 3 months so you're due June?"

"Yes. Early June."

"So the wedding will be…"

"Whenever I lose all my baby fat." I laughed.

"We're aiming for the first of August so it can be before Lilly goes back to school." Edward specified. "But we haven't made any official plans yet."

"Are you telling everyone else tonight?" Carlisle inquired as we were saying our goodbyes before heading over to Alice and Jasper's.

"That's the plan. We're worried about Alice." Edward sighed.

"She'll be so thrilled she won't even think about it…right away." Carlisle said patting Edward on the back. "Tell everyone we said hello and Merry Christmas."

"Of course." I smiled then was engulfed in an Esme hug.

"This is one of the greatest Christmas's in the history. You've made my son so happy and Lilly adores you and you're just so perfect for this family and now you're giving us another grandchild, one we thought wasn't possible…" She said through tears.

I had no idea what to say to her so I just cried like the blubbering mess I was and choked out the only words I could think to say to her.

"I love you, mom."

That, of course, made her cry harder.

Eventually we actually were able to say our goodbyes and after some makeup touchups we were on our way over to meet up with everyone else.

Lilly was skipping down the sidewalk rambling about her Christmas so far and she was still talking a mile a minute when we walked into the door at Alice and Jasper's.

"Merry Christmas!" Everyone shouted out.

"Merry Christmas." We returned and then Lilly looked up at us with a smile and questioning eyes.

"You obviously want to do this one right off the bat. Go ahead." Edward laughed as we set down the wine we had brought for everyone else.

"Yay!" Lilly bounced over to the living room to take center stage. "Is everyone in here?"

Edward and I had found seats on the couch and could see everyone's faces. I saw happiness on Rose's but confusion on everyone else's.

"Yep little one. We're all here. What's up?" Emmett said then started to take a sip of his beer.

"Well…I'm gonna be a big sister!" She said then started jumping up and down again.

Emmett spit his beer out.

Rose smiled lovingly in my direction.

Jasper nodded his head like his suspicions had been confirmed.

Alice was…well Alice was jumping up and down with Lilly. That lasted all of a few seconds.

"Wait a gosh dang minute." Alice said stopping all her celebrating abruptly. "Adoption?"

"Nope." I said popping the 'p' and smiling.

"But I thought…" Emmett tried to question but just stopped and started shaking his head back and forth.

"It was unlikely and the doctor was just as surprised as we were. It hasn't been an easy 3 months but we made it through them." Edward said.

"3 months! You've known for 3 months and we're just now finding out? What the heck you guys." Alice said.

"We didn't want everyone to know until we were out of the most dangerous time. Surely you can understand that." I said.

"I knew something before you did Aunt Ali!" Lilly smiled.

"You sure did sweetheart." Alice laughed. "This is so awesome you guys! Congrats."

"Yeah definitely congrats!" Emmett and Jasper said too.

"Thanks. I'm sorry we kept you all in the dark on this. It became more difficult to not tell, especially when Alice started thinking I was mad at her for something."

"Yeah well Jasper told me that he figured whatever was on your mind that you weren't sharing had nothing to do with me and that I needed to just give you some time and you would tell me eventually." She shrugged.

"I'm usually right Ali." Jasper said.

"I can't believe you hid this from us for 3 months." Emmett laughed.

"It was difficult. I hated that we weren't telling everyone." I said.

"It was perfect having Lilly tell us though." Rose smiled.

"You already knew though Aunt Rose." Lilly laughed.

"WHAT?" Emmett, Jasper, and Alice all exclaimed.

"Oops." Lilly whispered.

"It's okay princess." I said. "Go find Alex and Janie and tell them. They'll be excited for you too."

"Okay." She said then went towards the bedrooms.

"Rose knew but I didn't?" Alice asked with obvious hurt in her voice.

"Rose took me to the doctor's appointment. She was the only one I knew would be able to take me without any problems. I knew I couldn't drive myself and I didn't want to tell Edward until I knew for sure because if it was a false alarm I didn't want him to get his hopes or anything."

"But…"

"Please Ali, don't take this the wrong way. If I thought I could have gone by myself I would have. It was simply I knew Rose could drop everything, grab Nessie, and pick me up at the last minute and it was definitely the last minute. I called her and asked if she could pick me up in like 15 minutes."

Alice stood there looking at me and then finally sighed and nodded her head.

"So is this why you're not in a hurry to plan wedding details?" Jasper asked.

"Sure is. One major life changing event at a time, thank you very much." I laughed.

"We are going to need some of Alice's expert advice to plan and coordinated the honeymoon though. We're aiming for first of August for the wedding and we want to take a vacation with Lilly and the new baby after we're married but then we're also hoping for a few days of solo time before we come home."

Hearing this, Alice perked right back up and started talking faster than a normal human could comprehend about ideas and how it would all work and…

We all just tuned her out and let her talk to herself while we started talking about the baby and if we had thought of any names yet and if we wanted a boy or a girl.

You know the normal things you discuss with your friends when you tell them you're pregnant.

The things Edward and I had not been discussing at all until we hit the 3 month mark.

Can we say overload?

"Alice you went way overboard here with the whole baby shower thing…" I sighed as I took in the enormous amount of blue and green and presents in her living room.

"I think it's more like a baby monsoon." Rose snorted.

"Oh shut your traps." Alice said before flitting off to show a new guest around the house.

"Well…at least you know you'll have just about everything you'll need for the first two years of the little one's life." Rose said laughing.

"I'm going to need a truck to get all this shit home." I said then ungracefully flopped down on the couch. Seven months pregnant makes it very hard to do anything gracefully.

"Nah. That's why we have Emmett."

"Honey it's time." I whispered to a fast asleep Edward.

"No it's not. My alarm hasn't gone off yet. I don't have to be at work for another hour." He mumbled in his sleep.

"No Edward." I said trying not to laugh at him.

"Yes Bella." He said then rolled over onto his side facing away from me.

"No Edward…it's time to go to the hospital." I said and couldn't help but let the chuckles escape as he fell out of bed.

"OH! Shit…um…fuck…" He started running around the room like a crazy man.

"You know you'd think being an OB/GYN you'd be a little bit more under control in this situation." I sighed as I rolled carefully off the bed. "I already called the doctor. My bag is in the car and Lilly is on her way to Rose's. They're going to be joining us in about an hour at the hospital. All I need you to do is put on some damn pants and drive."

"Right…you've got it covered." He said as he pulled on a pair of jeans. "Let's go."

"Yes, let's go." I smiled


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Everyone has the right to be mad at for the delay! This chapter is shorter than I would like but b/c it's been so long between updates, I wanted to get something up so you wouldn't think I quit writing or something (which will not happen by the way). I've had a major case of writers block and I can't seem to get excited about anything that I came up with for this chapter *sigh*. Hope it's not too horrible. I know you've all been waiting for the birth of Baby Cullen. **

* * *

**Chapter 33**

**EPOV**

It's time. It's really time…son of a bitch. I'm going to be a dad again and this time with someone I truly love.

Bella is currently sitting in the passenger seat of our newly purchased Audi Q7 SUV – you know the new family car, not the red sports car I promised her but I'll get that eventually even if she threatened to chop my balls off. It was a fun day at the car dealership; at least with her outbursts and hormones we got everything we wanted for the price we wanted.

Totally digressing though; Bella was calmly sitting in the passenger seat doing her breathing and smiling occasionally at me while I was a freaking mess. I was speeding, I was running stop signs, I was doing everything I tell expectant fathers not to do when their wife goes into labor.

"You'd think this was your first kid Edward. Calm down." Bella laughed as I squealed tires around a corner. "Not only have you done this before, you deliver babies for a living. You know the routine. We're going to get to the hospital and then we're going to wait…and wait some more."

"I know but this…this one is special. Not to say Lilly isn't special because she is and I wouldn't trade her for anything but…"

"I know."

Even with her telling me to calm down, we made it to the hospital in record time. The nurses were already expecting our arrival and were waiting with a wheelchair when we walked through the doors.

"Dr. Swan, Dr. Cullen, we have private room 3 ready for you." One of the older nurses smiled brightly in greeting.

"Wonderful Beth. Thank you. I think I can walk there without the assistance of the wheels though."

"I think you should use the wheelchair." I suggested leading her towards the waiting chair.

"And I think that if this is how you're going to be for the whole thing, you just need to go home right now." She growled.

"So not using the wheels then." I said backing away from my hormonal fiancée with raised hands in surrender.

She smiled and waddled her way to room #3 while I followed with Nurse Beth, who sent me a sympathetic smile but had a twinkle of laughter in her eyes.

It took us more than a few minutes to get Bella settled in the bed and to get everything hooked up. It wouldn't have taken as long if the nurses would have let me assist – I mean it's not like I don't know what I'm doing, but the first time I reached to help, I got smacked and a challenging eyebrow raise from the nurses along with the order to sit down.

"There she is!" Emmett bellowed from the door about an hour after we arrived at the hospital.

"Hey guys." Bella said smiling.

"So how are ya?" Alice asked Bella.

"We're good. Everything's going well so far…the ride in was a little nerve racking though." She said then gave me a look before rolling her eyes.

"Doctor Eddie nervous?" Jasper said before punching my arm.

"He fell out of bed when I told him it was time." Bella said trying to keep a straight face but failed miserably as did the rest of everyone else – including Lilly.

"You guys suck. I was fast asleep when she told me so it startled me and I fell…"

All that did was make them laugh harder. I thought Emmett was going to pass out from lack of oxygen.

"Sometimes I really hate you people." I mumbled as the doctor strolled in.

"Hate's such a strong word Edward." She said laughing at my expense too. "How we doing Bella?"

"Good Doc. My contractions aren't too bad yet but I expect that will soon change." She sighed.

"I'd say within the next hour or two you'll start feeling some pain. Keep an eye on the timing for me and I'll be back in soon to check on ya again. If you need anything Beth will be just a yell away." She smiled before leaving us alone again.

"How long is this going to take? I want to meet him." Lilly said as she spun around in circles.

"No one knows sweetie. It could take as little as a couple of hours to much much longer." Rose said.

Little did we know that we were in the "much much longer" category.

Around 4 in the afternoon, roughly 13 hours after she woke me up, we were finally ready to wheel her to the delivery room.

Fortunately the pain didn't get bad until the last hour or so of the contractions, but they were bad. At one point I had left to get more ice chips for her and left Emmett in the room with her and of course a contraction came up leaving his hand the only one to squeeze – and man did she squeeze. When I walked back in the room, he was begging her to release before she broke something.

At least I got a good laugh out of it and payback for his laughing earlier.

Well until Bella threw her newly acquired ice chips at my head that is. If Emmett hadn't been nursing the hand he probably would have been laughing at me again.

"We're ready to start pushing now Bella." Beth said.

"Oh thank god." Bella sighed in relief as they got the bed ready to move from her private room to the delivery room.

Everyone stayed in the room while I followed Bella to the delivery room to scrub up and get ready to welcome my baby boy into the world.

I was a damn nervous wreck.

"Alright Doc, you ready?" Doctor Johnston asked both of us. We nodded and Bella began pushing.

Three pushes and then the screaming of a newborn was all that I could hear. I knew people were talking and saying things like weight and time of birth but all I could hear was him.

Two things simultaneously broke through my fog, a contented sigh from Bella at my left and the doctor walking back towards us with a bundle of blue handing him to Bella with a wonderful smile.

"He's perfect." She said as she placed our baby boy in Bella's arms.

_Our_ baby boy. Mine and Bella's baby boy.

_Our_ little miracle baby. The one who shouldn't have been possible. The one with the woman I love more life itself.

_We_ have a child together.

The only woman I've ever truly loved is here holding _our _baby.

It's the 4 of us now. We're a _family_.

"I'm so happy Edward." Bella whispered.

"Me too beautiful." I said as I placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Are you ready to go back to your room?" Doctor Johnston asked.

Without looking away from our son, Bella and I both just nodded our heads.

"I'm going to go ahead and go that way so I can let everyone know what's going on before you just come wheeling in." I said.

"Okay." She smiled up at me before looking back down at our baby.

I left one more kiss on her forehead and then also my son's before walking out. I hurriedly made my way back to the private room we started the day in and was bombarded with a million questions as soon as the door open.

"Is she okay?"

"Is the baby okay?"

"Where are they?"

I couldn't tell who asked what but I answered all questions I heard.

"Everything's absolutely perfect. They're bringing Bella and baby back as we speak. They should be here in minute. She did so wonderful and…everything's so perfect." I said then looked to Lilly. "You excited to meet your baby brother?"

"Well duh dad!" She exclaimed causing everyone in the room to chuckle.

We were all still laughing while Lilly and Alice bounced around the room excitedly when Bella came through the door, Baby boy Cullen in her arms still.

"Hey." She smiled at everyone as we all just started lovingly at the new mother.

No one hurried over to her until they got her bed back in the locked position and got her settled but as soon as all of that was done, it was moths to a flame with the women.

"Oh! He's absolutely adorable you guys!" Rose gushed.

"I can't see him!" Lilly complained as she tried to jump up to get a glimpse.

"Here squirt." Emmett said as he hoisted her up to see the baby.

"He's red." She said as she scrunched up her nose. "Why?"

"All babies are a little red after they're born. His skin will calm down after a while." Bella replied.

"Huh. He's so small." Lilly commented again.

"He'll grow big and strong just like his Uncle Em though." Emmett laughed.

"He looks like his father." Alice said.

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked feigning hurt.

"Nope! Let's just hope he has Bella's hair." She said as she leaned an elbow into my side.

"No kidding. Poor kid if he has your hair." Jasper laughed.

"Really Bella, he's absolutely perfect." Alice said.

"I know." Bella sighed contentedly then yawned.

"You probably want to rest a little bit." Rose suggested.

"I want to sit here forever and hold him." She laughed.

"OH! Wait!" Lilly exclaimed out of nowhere getting all of our attentions. "What's his name?"

"Anthony Charles Cullen." Bella replied.

"Good strong name." Jasper commented.

"Can I call him A.C. for short?" Emmett asked deviously.

"No." I quickly answered. There was no way my son was going to have a '_Saved By Bell'_ nickname.

"He was my favorite on that show." Alice laughed.

It was evident that he would be A.C. to the group. I could have argued more on the point but I knew it was absolutely pointless, plus Bella smiled at the A.C. name so that was pretty much a done deal. No one his age would know the significance of that anyways.

It was one of my favorite shows growing up, so I shouldn't have been surprised when Emmett mentioned the nickname.

Everyone hung around a little bit longer but eventually they all left leaving Bella and I alone for the first time pretty much all day.

We pretty much sat in silence and occasionally stared at each other but she fell asleep rather quickly after it quieted down.

The next morning we were awakened with the appearance of my mom, dad, Charlie, and Sue. They all showed up bright and early anxious to see the newest bundle of joy in the family.

Esme instantly started crying when she got to hold him. Hell, even Charlie got a little watery around the eye area. Especially when we told him we named him after him.

By noon we had a room full of people as Rose, Em, Jasper, Alice, & Lilly all came back – with all the kids in tow.

Apparently Maria couldn't watch the little ones again the next day.

It was a damn zoo in that private room.

We did have to push everyone out so Bella could attempt to feed Anthony once or twice but other than that it was a joyous chaotic mess that made me beyond happy with life.

"_I love you." _ Bella mouthed towards me at one point while our family had Anthony occupied.

"_Love you too."_

She was glowing and I had never seen her more beautiful than in that moment while we both watched our family fawned over _our_ son.

Lilly even held him a few times but she was comfortable with it so we didn't let her do it for long periods of time and without someone right there to help her. She would get better and I knew she would be a great help with him.

We had visitors throughout the whole day on top of the constants in the room so Bella was again exhausted by the end of the day and fell right asleep.

I let her because the next day we were going home and neither of us would get the chance to sleep much in the coming months.

I was more than okay with that.

The only thing…well besides sex…that I'm okay with missing sleep for is my children.

Anthony Charles Cullen was the second apple of my eye and he already had me wrapped around his little finger, just like his sister and mom.

I was doomed and loving every minute of it.

The only thing that will make this absolutely over-the-top unbelievably perfect is when I finally get say 'I do' to the beautiful woman sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed next to me.

When I can finally call her Isabella Marie Cullen, everything will be impossibly wonderful.

_Whether she likes it or not, I'm marrying her the last weekend in July. I can't wait any longer than that. I don't care what she thinks about her so called _baby weight. _If she'd let me, I'd do it tomorrow. _


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: I do believe this is a record...or at least definitely a record compared to the last few times I've posted a chapter. Hope you enjoy it! **

* * *

**Chapter 34**

**BPOV**

I have so much more respect for women who have given birth now. Not that I didn't before because…well I knew what they were going through – from a medical technical stand point.

But now? Now I know exactly how it feels and let me tell you what, those drugs aren't shit for contractions. I think I broke poor Emmett's hand at one point. Freaking ridiculous. Nothing as small as Anthony should have caused that much pain.

And he was tiny but he perfect and absolutely worth every second of the pain and discomfort I went through.

No wonder women do it all over again cause let me tell you what, when it was happening having another one was the last thing on earth I would ever want to do, but after holding Anthony for the first time, all I wanted to do was have another one.

But I'm more than content with my little family of 4.

Edward is currently asleep in the chair next to my bed, drooling, snoring, and mumbling about something. Lilly just walked in with Alice and they are now sitting on the sofa trying desperately not to laugh at the sleeping man while Alice snaps pictures and takes a video with her phone.

Their struggle to keep from laughing is making it hard for me to keep from cracking up even though I'm trying to feed Anthony.

This was the first time we had less than a tribe in my room and it was nice for a change. It being my last day in the hospital, Alice was here to help get things together and take what she could back home while Edward, Lilly, Anthony, and I went home together.

What Alice thought she was hiding was the fact that everyone was going to be at the house when we got there.

I wasn't thrilled about the idea but I knew Edward had fought it and had gotten absolutely nowhere with the argument. So I wasn't going to even try.

"Well isn't this just a sight." Nurse Beth laughed when she joined us in the room.

And that's what broke the camel's back. Lilly just couldn't hold it any longer and she busted out laughing which startled Edward awake.

"Morning Sunshine!" Alice chirped as she put her phone back in her pocket.

"What time is it?" Edward groggily asked as he rubbed his face and tried to stealthily wipe the drool off his chin.

"A little after 8." I smiled.

"Why didn't you wake me when you woke up?"

"You looked so…peaceful…" I said trying not to laugh again.

"How ya doing?" Beth asked me as she started messing with Anthony to make sure he was feeding okay.

"Fine. A little tired and ready to get home." I sighed.

"Well Anthony here seems to be feeding just fine so I'll go grab the doctor and hopefully we'll get you out of here early afternoon." She smiled then turned to Edward. "You missed a little on your chin."

The laugh that came from Alice was something I had never heard before, it was like an evil chuckle. Lilly went into another fit of giggles and I tried really hard not to laugh but…

"You all suck." Edward pouted.

"Aunt Ali took pictures too dad!" Lilly squealed.

"That's right and video. They're safely protected by a password so don't even think about it." Alice eyed Edward.

By 3 that afternoon we were pulling into the driveway. A few minutes after that Anthony was being passed around between Sue, Esme, Rose, & Alice.

Esme left Anthony long enough to fix everyone dinner which was the only thing that made me glad everyone was at the house.

I really just wanted to be alone with Edward, Lilly, and Anthony – for the first time since I gave birth.

I really wanted that when my father cleared his throat and Sue ducked her head like she was hiding from what she knew was coming as we all sat around the living room after dinner was done.

"Bells…"

I just sat there staring at him because judging by the looks on everyone I was not going to be happy. Edward looked just as confused as I did – which is a good thing for him and his well being.

"Um well…your mother called me the other day wanting to know how you were doing. Seems you two talked awhile back and she had it in her head that you two were now going to be _close_ or something and well…um well…she said she was worried because you weren't answering your phone or…I told her you were having a baby and that you were going to be getting married…"

I really wanted to yell. I really wanted to cuss. I really wanted to throw something at him.

Yes I had talked to Renee when I was trying to move past my…past…but that didn't mean I wanted her part of my life.

And I certainly didn't want her to get too close to Lilly and Anthony to just skip town again.

No way in hell.

Nope.

"No." I shook my head.

"But she really wants to see her grandchild!" Alice chimed in.

"Mary Alice Brandon Whitlock you will have absolutely no say in this." I eyed her and watched her eyes widened along with everyone else's around the room.

"Renee's really happy for you and she said she would understand if you didn't want her to come see you and if she didn't get an invite to the wedding but she did express how much she would love to see you get married." Charlie said.

"So not having this conversation right now." I said as I glanced at Lilly who was happily playing with Anthony seemingly oblivious to the conversation going on around her.

"Okay." Sue wisely spoke up. "We won't have to have this conversation again. You know where it all stands – your decision. And only your decision." She spoke with finality and raised an eyebrow to Charlie and Alice. Neither one responded so she continued. "Good. Now I think we should all head out and let this new little family spend time together, eh."

"Sue's right y'all. Let's head out. We'll be able to see the kid tomorrow and any day after that." Jasper said as he started leading his pouting wife towards the door.

"Agreed." Rose said as she grabbed Emmett.

"Tomorrow – gotta get A.C. started young with how to spend a Sunday." Emmett grinned.

"You can start by not calling him A.C. His name is Anthony." Edward growled.

"Whatever dude. If my daughter is Nessie then your son is A.C."

"Never gonna happen Emmett." I laughed as I bent down and got Anthony out of his seat. "Everyone's going home Lil, you want to say goodbye?"

"Yep." She nodded before she popped up off the floor and ran towards Sue and Charlie first.

Carlisle and Esme stayed a little bit longer but only because they hadn't spent much time with Edward or Lilly and I was fine with that. I took care of Anthony's needs while they all caught up.

Esme's parting words were "See you soon so we can start planning the wedding and go dress shopping. My son has told me that the date is set."

And that was when I learned I was getting married on July 28th. That only left me just shy of 2 months to get back down to my normal pre-baby size.

Dress shopping was going to be harder but when I tried to talk Edward into pushing the date back, he absolutely refused to not be married to me any longer and that the end of July was the longest he was capable of waiting.

And I suppose I could have continued to argue with him on it but the look on his face and the emotions in his eyes told me that July 28th was the date.

Alice immediately started planning and setting things in motion for the ceremony, reception and the honeymoon/family vacation.

Lilly was by her side through the whole thing. As was Esme and Rose.

I barely did anything except sit there with Anthony, help with the guest list (which did not include Renee) and give my opinion on colors. Much to Lilly's dismay one of the colors I rejected was pink…not a light pastel pink, oh no it was like Pepto-pink.

Final colors chosen were plum for the bridesmaid dresses, white for me, black for Edward, and black for the men. The girls would carry white flowers while my flowers would be in the plum color.

Alice planned everything down to a perfect 'T' and when July 28th rolled around I had absolutely nothing to worry about.

I had even gotten back down to my normal size – which was pure torture but I did it.

Esme was caring for Anthony through the whole thing so he wouldn't be far out of our sight if he needed me.

My dress was strapless with a sweetheart bodice, laced up the back, A-line with a small train. Fit like it was made for me and…well let's just say I was still carrying the baby weight in the chest area so the strapless sweetheart flattered that area quite nicely and was definitely where Edward's focus would go to first.

It's a guy thing, right?

The girls' dresses were a chiffon fabric with a ruched bust and front detail. They had asymmetrical hems and went to their knees. We paired them with silver jewelry and shoes.

We, well Lilly, decided she wanted the exact same dress as Rose and Alice and in order to do that, it was a special order that I was more than happy to make to ensure Lilly got what she wanted. I actually liked the idea of her not being any different than the other two.

Jasper and Emmett were in shock but honored when Edward asked them to stand next to him. I wasn't all that surprised but it did raise something I had never thought of previously.

_Who were Edward's friends in L.A. And why did he not keep in contact with any of them when he moved? And who the hell stood for him at his first wedding to…that other woman?_

The only way to get the answers was to ask and when I did he told me that Seth was the only one he insisted on the other 3 were her family members. Apparently between work, Lilly, and Tanya he didn't have any friends in L.A.

It made me wish that Seth was back from his time with Doctors Without Borders. It also gave me one more reason to detest that skank he used to be married to. The only thing I couldn't hate her for was Lilly.

**EPOV**

She had agreed to July 28th and watching her walk down the aisle with Charlie was one of the happiest moments in my life.

She was a vision. Absolutely gorgeous. I was trying to keep eye contact but…

"Didn't some tell her to put those things away." Emmett whispered earning a chuckle from Jasper.

Of course the crude one would say something about the abundance of cleavage staring us in the face.

And judging by the looks we were getting from Rose, Alice, and Bella they all knew exactly what was going through our minds. Bella was smirking knowingly while Rose and Alice were glaring and shaking their heads at their husbands.

The ceremony only last about 15 minutes, the longest we were both willing to stand up in front of everyone. We wanted to get to the good parts as quickly as possible. After that, we stayed behind at the church and the park next to it for pictures before joining everyone at the reception which Alice had planned in a ballroom at one of the local Hilton hotels.

It was immaculate of course and everything matched the color scheme. I could only imagine the time Alice put in to making sure this stuff was done accurately.

"Is it time for us to leave and go to Disney yet?" Lilly asked as she bounced in her seat sometime after dinner was served but before the majority of festivities of the evening.

"Our flight isn't scheduled until tomorrow morning. We have all night."

"But I want to go now." She whined.

"If you leave now you'll miss the dessert and all the dancing." Bella smiled.

"Oh dessert! That's the cake right?"

"Yep." Bella said popping the 'p' at the end of it.

Lilly caught the bouquet with Rose's help.

Alex caught the garter with Emmett's help.

Bella shoved cake into my face causing it to go into my eye.

I tried to get her back but was threatened with deadly force by Alice if I got cake on the dress.

The dancing included, but was not limited to, the "running man", "sprinkler", and the "cabbage patch." The evening was filled with laughter and smiles from every corner of the room. Our total guest list topped out at 50 which was perfect. None of us wanted a huge wedding or a lot of fuss over us. We invited only family and a few friends who we considered family.

It should have been my first wedding.

Before we got home, both Lilly and Anthony were asleep in the back seat of the car. We didn't want to wake them so as carefully as we could we each took one and carried them into the house. I took Lilly and Bella took Anthony. And miraculously we managed to get them both to bed without waking them, but it was only a matter time until Anthony woke for a feeding.

"Ready for the rest of our lives Mrs. Cullen?" I whispered in Bella's ear as she watched Anthony sleep in his bassinet, something she did often.

"I love the sound of that." She smiled then turned her head over her right shoulder to give me a quick kiss.

Except it ended up not being a quick kiss and that meant that the morning flight to Florida came way to freaking early.

Especially dealing with a very hyper 8 year old girl.

My mother, father, Charlie, & Sue all met us at the airport and we were off to Florida.

The plan was the 8 of us were going to spend time at Disney World together, 4 days to be exact and then the grand-parents were going to fly back to California with Lilly and Anthony while Bella and I hopped on a plan to Jamaica for another 4 days.

I wanted it to be a full week of just her and me, but she refused to leave Anthony longer than 4 days.

I understood that, after all he was only 2 months old.

We never left our private cabana.

Best honeymoon. Ever.

It was when I surprised her with the set of keys to her new red Maserati GranTurismo S. She thanked me multiple times – in multiple places in the cabana.

It was when she surprised me the legal documents signing over Seth's half of the practice to me. Unbeknownst to me Seth had decided he had found his true calling in life and wanted to spend it with Doctors Without Borders and only assisting at the practice in California when he had some time at home.

She also included a picture of the new door at the office.

_Montecito OB/GYN  
Dr. I.M. Cullen  
Dr. E.A. Cullen_

"Ladies first you know, plus remember I'm the better doctor." She winked when I cocked an eyebrow in question.


	35. Chapter 35  Epilogue

**A/N: Well this is all she wrote - for this story anyways. Always have at least one story in the works! :) Thank you for reading the whole thing and I hope you truly enjoyed the journey of the characters. Looking forward to hearing from you on my future stories.**

**Much love and Happy Holidays!**

**~Tiff**

* * *

**Chapter 35  
Epilogue**

**EPOV**

25 years of marriage sure goes by fast when you're enjoying life and the people in it. Everyone is currently gathered in our house to celebrate the occasion. Lilly and Anthony joined forces and put together the party for us, which I was currently avoiding.

Mainly because I was a massive tangled ball of nerves.

I was planning on asking Bella to renew our vows. I had jewelry and everything. Lilly was the only other one who knew what I was planning.

She was the only one I could trust to keep the secret.

It sure as shit wasn't going to be Emmett – that man hadn't changed one bit in 25 years. In fact, I sometimes think he's gotten worse.

Of course, it might have something to do with the fact that we're now family.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. The girls were thrilled when Anthony asked permission to marry their youngest, Ariel, who was born almost 9 months to the day after Anthony.

Emmett and I had just stared at the two kids. _Kids_. That was exactly what they were at the time. They were only 21 and still in college.

They both graduated college then got married a month later. They then proceeded to rent a house down the street from us in the same neighborhood.

That also thrilled Bella and Rose.

"Dad, come on. Mom is getting irritated at you for avoiding everyone." Lilly laughed as she popped her head into what used to be her old room, which we changed back into an office after she moved out. And painted over the pink.

"Yeah I'm working on it." I sighed as I stood up from my chair and closed the photo album I had been looking at.

"Aunt Ali knows." She chuckled as we walked towards the living room. I raised a questioning eyebrow at my daughter. "It wasn't me! She just knew. You know how she is. Uncle Jazz suspected something because you've been nervous all night so yeah…it's your fault."

"Thanks kid." I laughed too.

"About time you joined us!" Emmett boomed when I turned the corner.

"Had to get some things straightened out." I smiled but never tore my eyes away from my gorgeous wife. I continued my path directly to Bella, never letting my eyes stray from hers. She hadn't changed much in the 25 years, her hair had begun to grey a little but not to the point where she wanted to start dying it. She had aged wonderfully and didn't look a day over 40 even though we were both now over 60.

As soon as I got to her, I dropped to one knee and grabbed her left hand.

"Isabella Cullen, I don't know how it's possible, but I love you more today than I did 25 years ago. The years we have spent together have been the happiest of my life and I want nothing more than to spend the next 25 with you. Will you marry me – again." I smiled up at her.

"Oh Edward! Of course I will!" She said through tears.

"I bought you something." I said as I stood up from the floor. "It's not much, but I wanted to give you a little something."

"You already gave me a vacation to the Bahamas." She chuckled.

"Well this is a little smaller."

"Same price." Lilly mumbled.

"Edward Anthony! What did you do?" Bella exclaimed as I pulled the jewelry box from my pants pocket and opened it towards her revealing the diamond earrings I had bought her.

"Figured you didn't need another ring." I smirked.

She gently smacked my bicep but grinned as she took the box from me to examine them better.

Simple teardrop earrings with 3 diamonds each. Bella cried, Lilly cried, Rose said she wanted a pair, Alice started planning the vow renewal ceremony, while everyone else just watched the scene unfold before everyone erupted into celebration and merriment.

It was how life had been the past 25 years. All the kids had grown and moved out on their own, but were all within driving distance, a few within walking distance actually. We were all constantly together and enjoying our little close family.

The only ones missing from our celebrations these day are our parents. Charlie passed away 15 years ago of a massive heartache. We were all devastated and it took some time before Bella smiled again. Not a year later, Sue left us. The doctors said she went peacefully in her sleep. We assume she decided it was time to join Charlie again.

My mother was the first of my parents to go; ten years ago she was diagnosed with a progressive form of lymphoma that had spread to pretty much everywhere in her body. After being diagnosed, it was only three months until we lost her. I'm not ashamed to admit I turned into a complete ass when I lost my mother. I hated everyone and everything; including Bella.

She actually left our house and stayed with Alice and Jasper for a few days allowing me to get my shit together. It didn't take long for me to pull myself together and realize I needed her with me to help me get through the loss.

It was because of that, that when my father passed just a few months ago, I handled it quite a bit better.

He told me he was ready to go anyways and it was a peaceful passing for him as well. I went to visit him and after a long talk over a couple of glasses of brandy, he said goodnight, went to his room, closed his eyes with a smile on his face and that was that.

Our celebrations though are full of new faces these days. Alex and Jane both have significant others. Alex is dating a nice man, his name is Felix. He's a huge man – like Emmett size so it threw us all off a bit when Alex introduced him as his boyfriend and not a buddy.

Janie has taken after her mother and is hot in the fashion industry. Her current beau is a model she met at a shoot for her new line. We assume it will be like her other relationships and when we all get together again in a few months for Thanksgiving, she'll have a new guy on her arm.

Vanessa is a model like her mother and models mostly for Jane but has recently gotten a huge break and has been asked to model for Victoria's Secret. She's seriously dating a professional baseball player, Colin, who has asked Emmett for permission to propose this Christmas. Emmett was ecstatic to say the least and agreed before the man had even fully asked the question.

Ariel, their youngest, is, like I mentioned earlier, married to Anthony. Alice had said they were meant to be together when they were only 5, but I didn't believe it then. It's clear to me though that they love each other like Bella and I love each other. Both went to law school and both got jobs right out of school. Ariel is in family law while Anthony went into corporate law.

We're all extremely proud of them.

Lilly is – and this is no surprise to any of us – an actress and singer. She's very successful and has had two movies that were critically acclaimed throughout the world. Her singing career is just beginning to get off the ground, but it's pretty clear that this venture will prove financially fruitful for her as well.

And much to my chagrin, she's recently accepted a proposal from her boyfriend who is also her business manager. Marcus, is a nice guy and I like him, but even though Lilly is 33, I'm not ready to walk her down an aisle and let her marry a man. They've set the date and she's hired Alice and Rose as her wedding planners. She's chosen May 15th next year.

The media is hounding her and Marcus's everything move and they've released a different date to the media than what is really being planned.

They're getting married at our house with the reception to follow.

Tanya, has unfortunately, showed her face a few times throughout the years, but when she popped in as Lilly was beginning to launch her promotional tour on her last movie to ask for tickets to a premiere, Lilly read her the riot act.

I was so proud of my little girl that day. Bella was too.

And it was the last time we heard from her. I can't even tell you where she's living.

"Well since everyone's here, I have something I'd like to announce as well." Ariel said from her spot on the couch next to Anthony.

"Two something's actually." Anthony smiled.

"Right…well first things first, I got the promotion at the firm and we'll be moving to Los Angeles as soon as we can get out of the lease at the house we're currently in."

"That's great honey!" Rose said. "We're so proud of you!"

"Thanks mom…um…the second thing is that…well…we're…I'm pregnant." She said with a huge ass grin.

"Grandpa Eddie and Grandpa Emmy!" Jasper was the first to react.

"Not a chance in hell." Emmett said with a dimple showing grin. "This kid's gonna be so damn spoiled!"

"Wow dad…like Ness and I aren't?" Ariel laughed.

"Hey now, you're the bratty little sister. I'm just fine." Vanessa said smiling as she hugged her sister. "Congrats A."

"Congrats Grandpa." Bella whispered in my ear as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"You too Grandma." I said bringing her in closer to me.

"Yeah…we're gonna have to work on what this kid's going to call us. Grandma just isn't working for me."


End file.
